Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf.
A/N: Did you order your chapter heavy on the angst? If so I've got it hot and ready for you.
Stiles's eyelids felt like they were made of lead. Which was why they kept sliding closed again and again. He blinked a few times then went back to the math problem. He had never really been a fan of math before in his life. But now math, math was simple, in that there was only numbers. no ideas, just numbers and there was something about there only being right answers and wrong ones that was so definite.
He supposed he should be asleep, it was after midnight after all. How much after midnight it was he didn't know having turned his red glaring alarm clock towards the wall. He couldn't sleep though...no that wasn't quite correct, he wouldn't' sleep. He was pretty sure he could from the way his eyes kept closing. He didn't want to sleep because they were always there in his dreams and he didn't want to see them.
Stiles took another handful of caffeine pills, and dry swallowed them, he was popping them like they were candy. It wasn't good for him, he knew that, but honestly didn't care. He hadn't slept more than 2 hours a night since he had been able to sneak out and buy himself caffeine pills his first week back in this stupid world. He looked at the bottle and shook it. The teen was going to have to sneak out soon again and buy himself some more caffeine pills.
Since he was on the train of thought of things that were bad for him, he thought of some other things he was doing that was bad for him. Stiles was only eating the bare minimum of what he had to and had gotten experienced on ways to hide what he wasn't eating. It was easy in the morning because his father had to leave and Stiles could usually throw out something he had only taken a few bites of. It was harder at dinner time because both Scott and his Dad both watched him like a hawk and so he had to come up with other ways to hide it. Yeah it wasn't good for him, he knew that, and his body was weaker than it used to be, but he didn't care. Food smelt terrible, and food tasted terrible in a way it had never had before.
He heard the window open and someone coming in. Stiles schooled his features and looked up, he fully expected to see Scott standing there looking at him disapprovingly and was surprised to see Derek standing there instead. He hadn't seen Derek since waking up, though Scott had told him that he had come while he had been away and had pointed out Derek's signature on his cast. Stiles just stared at Derek who stared back at him. No one talked for a long moment. Stiles knew that he usually started the conversations, but he wasn't going to now, he didn't want to talk to anyone.
"Stiles," Derek said. Stiles merely looked at him. Most people found it unnerving and would leave him be soon after, he wasn't sure how well it would work on Derek who had mastered the stare as well.
"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Stiles rolled his eyes, like Derek had ever cared about his well being before. He didn't have Derek cell phone number so couldn't text him so he just pointed to his math book.
"You're not in school yet, Issac told me," Derek said. Stiles slide his notebook that he had been writing his in to himself and went to a blank sheet of paper. Stiles tore the sheet out of his notebook. He wrote down
I know but I have to get caught up before I go back to school and showed it to Derek who looked at it with his stoic gaze.
"He also said you weren't talking," Stiles rolled his eyes again, since when did Derek care about him? He flipped the sheet over and wrote.
Laryngitis, since when did you care? Stiles flipped up the sheet so that Derek could read it. Derek looked at him and then down to the ground and Stiles knew he struck a nerve. Derek liked to pretend that he didn't care at all about anyone. Stiles hid a smile he knew how to make him go away. He tore out a fresh sheet of paper.
Maybe since you're here anyways and in the sharing and caring mood we can hug, then hold hands and sing kumbaya. Stiles held up the paper hoping that he had made his point very clear. When Derek read his note he looked decidedly a little uncomfortable, but surprisingly his feet stayed put. Maybe Derek thought Stiles actually wanted to do what he had written. Stiles needed to make it more clear, underneath his other statement he wrote.
Go away Derek I'm not in the mood for visitors. There was no way to mistake this for anything other than what it was. Still, even after Derek's eyes finished scanning it he made no indication that he was planning on moving.
I mean it Derek get out , he wrote and showed it to Derek who again who still didn't look like he was planning to move. Stiles smiled grimly, fine if he wanted to play it like that. He wrote.
Or I guess if you want to stay we can share our feelings. You start. How did it feel when your uncle Peter killed your sister? Derek eyes took in his written words and then he glared at him, his eyes going alpha red. Yeah, what Stiles had written was below the belt but he didn't care. Besides, he had asked him nicely to go away first.
Stiles ideally wondered why he wasn't scared. Derek could rip his throat out and it was possible he might after what he had said to him, but he had said it anyways. Stiles realized in that moment he didn't care. He didn't care if Derek ripped his throat out, at least it would end it all.
Derek in response merely turned his back and left through the window. Stiles stared after him for a long moment wondering if maybe he wanted Derek to tear his throat out or if had just wanted him to leave. Stiles shook his head. It didn't matter, nothing did anymore. He got back to his math.
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