Leia walked the halls of the Death Star, reflecting on what she and Maul had done. She should feel giddy, excited even, but something from her old life dragged her down instead. Jedha was sacred to the Jedi, to destroy like that as part of a test run weighed on her. Then because a ship had escaped, one belonging to Galen Erso's daughter, and headed to Lah'mu, Maul had insisted that they try out the Death Star one last time. He had organized the fleet into a blockade so quickly, it was almost scary, and she couldn't help but wonder if Maul had had this planned all along. After all, it was where he stole the ideas for the Death Star, or at least what would become it, and the only place where anyone might have been able to figure out a way to take it down.
She pulled her hood down low over her eyes, hiding them in case they could give away the doubts and emotions swirling inside her. It was times like this, when Maul was away, that she was able to think more clearly. She frowned, that wasn't to say however she wasn't being watched closely. Maul had left his two closest lackeys, the only two that Leia honestly thought Maul had the undying loyalty of, behind. She looked to her right, catching a glimpse of them from the corner of her eye and her annoyance flared up. Tarkin and Thrawn had been left behind to oversee the final touches to the Death Star, but they were also her babysitters.
One move that they thought was inappropriate or out of line and they would be reporting her to Maul. Neither of them feared her, for they knew that if she did anything to them, she would hear it from Maul. Seven years she had been under their watchful eyes whenever Maul had to leave, she knew the drill. Seven years it had been since she had severed her bond with Luke, something she greatly missed in the dark of night. Maul had kept her from the frontlines during this time, to ensure that her loyalty was complete, no doubt. Leia sighed as she thought about what her life had become, endless days of being watched, of putting on a charade of compliance when all she wanted was to be left alone long enough to clear her head.
"Are you alright Darth Keeran?" a gentle voice asked. Leia put on a smile for the only friend she had and said "I'm fine Maketh, thank you." Maketh Tua was the commander under her and the only one in the higher chain of command that had ever shown any kindness to Leia. Maul seemed indifferent to the girls' friendship, but Tarkin and Thrawn always glared and muttered under their breaths when the two spoke to each other. It's probably why Maketh and Leia had become such good friends to be honest, both liked annoying the two men and so both had continued their conversations with each other whenever they could.
But even as close as she felt to Maketh, she didn't dare voice her doubts to her, for she still answered to Maul. Even if Maketh wanted to keep her secret, Leia wouldn't want to put her only friend in that kind of danger, so she kept her mouth shut about her inner turmoil. Looking out over the stars at one of the viewing ports, Leia had to ask herself "Where is the hope gone? Where is the carefree life I used to enjoy so much disappeared to? Why am I so conflicted about my Master's plan? Whenever he is close it makes so much sense, at least most of the time, but when he is gone it's like I've been blindfolded from seeing the things he sees the way he sees it."
Suddenly she sensed a familiar presence, one she had felt in years. Luke. He was out there somewhere in the remains of Lah'mu! Why did her heart fill with joy at that? She should be furious that her enemy dared to come so close… but she couldn't see Luke as the enemy, even without the bond, he was her twin. Even so, her allegiance was to Maul and the Dark Forces, she really should say something. But if they were dumb enough not to notice him, then why should she bother? It could be a test to see if she would, but she had already hurt her brother enough. Without showing it, she reached out a bit towards him in the Force, not enough so he would noticed, but enough so she could check on him.
She almost stopped herself, why should she care how he was doing, he was supposed to mean nothing to her!? But no matter how many times that lie was repeated it was one she just couldn't buy. So she allowed herself this moment, this little slip up, this back slide, to see if her brother was the same boy she remembered. She almost cried tears of joy as she saw that, although he was older and even wiser then when they had last seen each other, there was very little changed about her brother… except… Then she felt bad as she felt the sorrow he felt at her loss, even greater than her own for the loss of him. She barely held in a sob as she saw how she had hurt him, was still hurting him.
Then she felt his desire to come and get her and while a part of her wanted him too, another knew that would be far too dangerous for him and she hoped he would stay away. She was relieved as she felt the sudden loss of his nearness, knowing that he had left the area as quietly as he had entered. She held in her emotions that were churning greater then they usually were, stoically making her way to her room. Once she was inside and she had assured herself that not only was there anyone close enough to hear her, but also no devices for doing so, she collapsed on her bed as she sobbed, as quietly as she could.
She sobbed her tears of sadness, of confusion, of anger, of practically every other emotion she was feeling. She half longed for Maul to return, to end these waves of uncertainty that crashed around inside of her. She wouldn't mention her brother to know one, they would be angry at her for not saying anything when she sensed him. But also because it was the one part of her life Maul had no control over. Oh he may have convinced her to sever their bond, but he couldn't force her not to love her brother, to still care for him. Maul had tried and sort of succeeded when he convinced her to turn to the dark side, saying things like her parents loved him more and always arranged the clandestine meetings for times when she wasn't on Coruscant on purpose, among other things to make her susceptible to his influence, but the attachment she had for Luke ran far too deep for him to dig it up.
As that thought crossed her mind, Leia had to wonder if Luke felt the same? Or if it was just her mind lying to her, a trick of the confusion that always fell over her anytime Maul was not close by.
Wow, an actual Leia chapter! I bet you were beginning to wonder if you were ever going to see this XD I know both her's and Luke's chapters were short, but I am planning on uploading them together on the same day (hopefully I remember…) so really it was just a longish chapter (for me anyways) cut in half :D And look Tua, Tarkin and Thrawn all have made an appearance (dang, that's a lot of Ts…) I can't recall at the time I am writing this if there have been any request for these three (though I do remember a note asking about Thrawn at least, so here you go, surprise surprise what side he is on :P), but if so I hope you enjoyed their showing up! I'm not sure if they'll be mentioned again accept for in passing, as Tarkin I really don't care for and Thrawn (who I also don't care for) is just too hard for me to write to the point where I find him believable/passable for the "real" thing. Tua might make a reappearance, as she is Leia's only friend in the Dark Forces, but honestly I don't know. But I had to bring her into this as she was one of my favorites :D Keep your eyes peeled for a returning background (for this story anyways) characters and some new to the story characters in the next few chapters :D
