Chapter 12
After that evening, the relationship between both women had stopped, it was almost as if none of them existed to each other, they had bumped at elevators a couple of times, not even bothering at greeting the other, not mattering that inside they were anxious for words, caresses, embraces, and apologies; days continued to pass, and they kept spotting each other at random occasions, and as always they continue ignoring themselves, however with every time they saw each other, the pain from that day stinged again, but none of them would let it surface.
The same situation kept going for weeks, but one day it changed, Alex was locking her office when she caught a glimpse of two persons at the end of the hallway, when she looked closely, she noticed one person to be Casey Novak, however she couldn't identified the second woman; at the moment she got jealous, but then defeat and sadness overwhelmed her, she never got the courage to talk to Casey again, not even to say bye properly, and now she was gone. She opened the door, and decided to stay a little longer at her office; she couldn't take herself to look at that scene any longer.
Outside in the hallway Casey thought she had seen someone at the middle of the corridor, "Maybe is Alex, she always stays late, perhaps I should…."; she was brought back to reality by the young court clerk standing in front of her, Casey hastened to hand over the papers she had been working on all day, when Casey finished explaining the shorter woman the delay about the case, she excused herself getting ready to go, just before leaving she took one last look at the hallway, "No one's there, it must be exhaustion".
The next morning when the green-eyed stepped into her office, she noticed a white envelop on the floor, she was puzzled by it, all her correspondence arrived at the office's mail box and a clerk would bring it at midmorning, but this letter might be something different; she bent down and took it, she was about to open it when the telephone rang; "Later, now is time to work", she thought while she put the envelop in her desk's drawer.
The day went like any other, finishing some paperwork and preparing some closing arguments for court that afternoon; just before leaving to court, she remembered the envelop, and she took it out of the drawer and putted it in her briefcase; "I'll open it after court".
She was seated at courtroom, listening to the stupidities coming out from the defense attorney's mouth and mind; she already knew it was a won case, so she started gathering her notes and putted them in her briefcase, however when she opened it she saw the envelop, she was tempted to opened it right there, nevertheless it was now her turn to voice her closing arguments, "It'll have to wait".
"Guilty", that word always made her day and right now she could call it off; she was seated on her way home, looking through the subway's windows looking to the people, oblivious to everything; suddenly she remembered the mysterious envelop seating at the bottom of her briefcase, so she took it out, and finally opened it; she unfolded the piece of paper in it, and took notice that it was a handwritten letter, however she never expected what it was written on it.
"I don't really know where to start, there's so much I want to say to you but at the same time I'm afraid of doing it; I just want you to know that the time we shared together is something that will always hold a special place in my life, I enjoyed those days when we would walk at the park every time we finished work early, and grabbing a cup of coffee together by the end of the day; it all started really slow, we would barely talk to each other at the beginning but that day at the ballet something changed, I don't know what it was or how to call it, perhaps magic; however after that day we really started trusting each other, we care for each other; that night, I remember how enchanted you were with the ballet and just like that I got charmed with you; I'm very fond of that day when walking home you took my hand, we intertwined our fingers and walk all the way down the subway station, I even remember how none of us would release the other's hand, but above all that, I would never forget how sweetly you kissed my hand when you finally let my hand free; bottom line is that I started to care for you in a way far beyond friends without really realizing it at the time, rather I didn't want to realize it; however that never kept me from enjoying our time together, even when we had dinner together and none of us would talk, I have fond memories of those cozy silences; truth is you're the only one I have care for in years, and every single moment we spend together made me care for you even more, but that stopped one day, because I didn't care for you anymore because I started loving you. I know that wasn't what you were looking for, however it happened and my feelings overpowered me, and that day at Coney Island it just came to the surface; that kiss as wimp as it was, for me it was electric; my body and senses stopped responding, for that little amount of time I was fearless, brave, bold, I mean I felt safe kissing you; how pathetic when we parted away and opened my eyes I felt doubtful and fearful, dreading your reaction, so I just ran away; I'm completely aware that I never looked for you after that, and it was a mistake not to face what had happened, however you didn't look after me too; I'm not blaming you but I think that perhaps if one of us would have acted sooner, maybe things wouldn't have ended the way they did; I know we said some hurtful things that only time we talked, and I accept that you were right about me running away and not facing the outcome of my actions, as you said we're not kids any longer; however I don't apologize for what I said to you, I still believe you were being selfish and whimsical, you called harshly for answers, and when I spoke you didn't even bother on reflecting what I was saying, maybe my answers weren't what you expected, but at the moment I was too afraid of telling you my real inner feelings, I was afraid of banish you; anyway that ended up happening and my biggest fear happened too, I lost you. The reason behind this letter is actually to get closure, I saw you last night with someone else and I think the time has come to move over us; besides I just can't bear the idea of those day's words being our last ones, it already causes too much pain seeing you and not be able to hug you or talk to you, so this is my way of saying good bye; I wish you luck, and I sincerely want you to find happiness, you deserve it Casey.
Alexandra
Casey was touched by the words on Alex's letter, she knew she had acted wrong that day, but she never thought she meant so much for the blonde attorney; all what was written was right, but now it was too late for make things change; in that moment she couldn't restrain tears anymore, and they just broke free, she had never imagined Alex felt the same as her.
"Come on, I can't kept committing the same mistakes", suddenly Casey rose from her seat decided to make things right for the first time in a very long time.
