Chapter 12: Farewell
No words were spoken in the boardroom at the moment. The only sound could be heard in the place was just the sound of the tea being poured into its cup. Nagisa looked very beautiful under the warm shine of the sun. At least that was what in Suoh's mind presently.
'It's a beautiful day, isn't it?' Nagisa started the conversation, blushing on her cheek.
Suoh's face was reddened. 'Yes, it is. The weather is perfect.'
//Why are we talking about the weather anyway?//
Silence again.
'Suoh-san? I mean... Takamura-senpai...'
'Please call me Suoh.'
'H-hai... Suoh-san...' It was quite obvious the girl was very nervous. Actually both of them were nervous. The fact that they had not met each other for a long time certainly misrepresented the way they acted right at the moment.
Suoh sighed, as he recalled the past. In the past, they also rarely spoke to each other. Even though they still had that special bound, but most of the time he spent with her were always in quiet. They would remain silent, and say nothing to each other, but somehow they understood what each other's mind, each other's feeling. Now.... It was so different. They didn't know what to say, what to talk about, and in fact, they had nothing about to say anyway.
Still, he loved her presence right now. Somehow he still could see and feel the memory lied beneath. He still remembered how his heart beating every time his eyes met hers, and every time they were facing each other. And sometimes he admitted he missed those moments, when they sat side by side, doing nothing, except looking at the sunset faraway. And those moments were so beautiful no one could ever forgot. Not even him. He still remembered how nervous he was the first time he took her hand in his. How beautiful the moments were, and he wished it were never changed.
But the moment didn't last longer. The need coming out from his heart to be beside his 'One' always, to protect him and to guide him had made him realized that Nagisa was not his 'One'. She was not the one he always thought and cared about. He realized the only one he always thought about, ever since he opened his eyes in the mist of the morning, was not her. It was Nokoru. Nokoru was the one he always cared about. The one he loved the most, and the one he would die for. He realized he couldn't divide his heart to two persons. And by the moment he realized it, he knew he had to end their relationship at once.
He hated to make Nagisa cried, but he had made his choice. He only lived for his 'One', and he would give his life for him too. There was no place in his heart for her, and even if he had to choose between Nokoru and her, he definitely would choose Nokoru. He still remembered Nagisa was in tears when he decided to end their relationship. She didn't say anything by that time. Just nodded her head, turned away, and fled from the scene. His heart was broken too, knowing he had hurt her heart terribly. If only he realized his feeling earlier, Nagisa wouldn't be so sad. But what happened had happened. There was no way to return and change the whole thing. He lived only for his Nokoru, and Nokoru was the only one he cared about ever since.
Now here he was, sitting face to face with the girl who once stole his heart with her beauty and kindness. Yet she remained beauty as ever, more indeed, and her kindness never changed a bit. Lots of girls would never be nice anymore to the men who once broke their heart and disappointed them. Nagisa was different from them. She was still kind and cared about him. Though it was the fact he had lied and hurt her.
'Suoh-san, are you alright?'
Suoh was startled. Nagisa's words instantly brought his mind back from wandering.
'I-I'm fine. I'm just thinking about something.' He answered awkwardly.
'Am I disturbing you?'
'No- Not at all.'
'I came here to apologize what I've said to you before in Ijyuin-senpai's house. I was so selfish, thinking of my own feeling, and didn't care how you feel. I'm very sorry.' The girl bowed her head deeply as a sincere sign of her apology.
'No. Nagisa-san. Please don't say that. It is me who has to apologize to you. You are right. I have hurt your feeling so much, and I am so stupid that I don't even realize it.'
'No... Suoh-san.... It isn't your fault. I-'
She was speechless. It was true he had hurt her heart by keeping the truth away from her. But she could never blame Suoh for this. She knew very well Suoh just did not want her to be hurt, and after all, it was not Suoh's fault. In fact, it was her fault. She should have known Suoh dedicated his life only for one person, and that person was definitely not her. Nokoru-sama. The perfect Imonoyama Nokoru-sama. That was the kind of person who deserved to have a protection from a Takamura. Some one so precious, so wonderful, and yet nobody was able to compete him in any aspect.
Not even her. People used to say she was one wonderful lady, beautiful and gifted with many talents, a pure artist, came from a respectable family, but that was all she was. People only judged her from her heredity, for her family's name, and they rarely saw the real of her. She didn't hate her family. She loved them. She loved them very much. But sometimes she wondered would people love her the way they did if she didn't come from that kind of family? No... She believed not. Only Takamura. Only Suoh who was able to see her, to love her, and accept her without even knowing who she was at the first place and what family she came from.
Sometimes she wanted to go back to the past, when Suoh still loved her and cared for her. When Suoh still spent times together with her, and those moments were so beautiful that it was hard for her to forget. But it was all gone. She couldn't return to the past. Suoh had made his choice, and if she loved him, she had to accept his choice, though it would hurt her heart. As long as she could still sight Suoh's face, she was happy already. And there was nothing more she could ask.
'Suoh-san, please don't blame yourself. You only do what you believe in. And I understand it. I admit I was hurt, but it's already long time ago, and I can hardly remember it. Please don't worry so much. I'm happy if you're happy.'
'Nagisa-san...' Suoh could feel his tears began to sting his amber eyes. 'Thank you... I'm glad we're still friends.'
Nagisa nodded her head as an agreement. 'We are. We're friends forever, aren't we?'
Suoh smiled and nodded his head.
Deep in her heart, Nagisa was very happy to see Suoh smiling to her. It had been a long time since the last time she saw him smiling.
'Suoh-san... How's Nokoru-sama?'
Suoh was startled when Nagisa asked the question in a sudden. 'Why? I mean why do you ask me?'
'Lately I seldom see the two of you together, I mean... You used to be beside him always, but-' Nagisa suddenly stopped when she observed Suoh's odd reaction. 'Suoh-san, is there something wrong?'
'I-...' He looked into Nagisa's eyes, wondering whether he should tell her or not. All this time, Nagisa had always listened to his problems, and might be that was he needed now someone to listen to him. 'I had a fight with him.'
He waited for Nagisa's respond, but the girl remained quiet.
'I fought with him. He didn't want me to be beside him anymore. He told me he was sick of me, and I was mad at him. We had a fight, and...' Pause. 'And we broke up.' Pause again.
'I don't understand. Both of you are such good friends. Why do you fight each other?'
Suoh smirked. He himself didn't understand what caused it. The only thing he knew he was trying to be honest to him, and to his heart. But obviously being honest was not always easy. All he wanted was only to let Nokoru knew how his true feeling to him. If he knew at the end Nokoru would hate him, and run away from him, he would rather die than telling him the truth.
Nagisa looked at him deeply. She knew very well Suoh was suffering. She could tell from the amber eyes laid before hers. If only she could say something to comfort him, but she herself didn't know what was going on between them. She knew that all she could do now was just to wait and listen to his words. Suoh needed someone to listen to him. He didn't some wise advices at the moment. All he needed was a pair of ears who willingly listen to him, and a heart to feel what he felt now.
Suoh looked at the girl's eyes again. They were so beautiful and... peaceful. How he missed those eyes, and how he missed the memories they spent together in the past.
'Sometimes I miss the old days, especially when we were in the elementary school.' He sighed.
'Yes, you were in the elementary, but I was still in the kindergarten school.' She smiled.
His smile grew as he heard the correction. 'Yes... True. We were still very young then.'
'Suoh-san.... Do you still remember the first time we met?'
'How could I ever forget that? You were playing your flute on the Wisteria tree, and I'd never heard such a beautiful song. I can still remember the song till now.'
The girl's cheeks were blushing. 'Thank you.'
'But you ran away from me. I thought I was dreaming. Then I saw you again playing the flute, but still I was not confident enough to come to you, and asked your name. Or at least spoke to you.'
'Why?'
'Because I thought you didn't like me, that's why you were running away from me the first time we met.' Now it was Suoh's turn to have red color on his face.
'You know it wasn't true. I was just...' She paused and gave a sweet smile to the boy who sitting in front of her. Her smile was so sweet, that it almost made Suoh's heart leap out from his chest.
'I was just the same as you were. I was so shy, and I kept thinking of you since the first time we met. And I had no courage to speak to you.' Now both of them were blushing.
'But Suoh-san... That was the reason I was running away from you. I didn't run away because I hated you. I was just too shy to say what was in my heart.' She smiled to him. 'I believe Nokoru-sama also has a reason behind his action.' She stopped again to see whether Suoh got her point or not.
'But whatever it is, I know very well he loves you. He never hates you. He cares about you very much, and I-' Nagisa stopped her words. She knew everything now. She knew that Suoh only loved Nokoru, and even though she tried very hard to accept it, she still could feel the jealousy in her heart. And the fact she couldn't forget her love to Suoh made her very sad, and she couldn't hold her tears again.
Suoh understood very well how hard it was for Nagisa to forget about him. That was why he didn't want to tell the reason he left her. As long as possible he wanted to keep it as a secret. The thing he hated the most in this world was to see his loved ones crying. He himself never ever shed tears. He was a warrior; at least he was born to become one. He used to bear all the pain in his heart, and not to let anyone found out his true feeling, unless he let that one knew. Now the girl he once loved was crying before him, and nothing he could do about it. He knew it was no use for him to say any word to comfort her.
Nagisa didn't understand herself why she was crying. Now that she knew Suoh never loved her, he only loved Nokoru, and because of him, he had left her, she supposed to hate him. Or at least she supposed to hate Nokoru- sama. That would be a lot easier for her to continue her life. But she couldn't do so. She couldn't hate any of them. She loved them as her best friends, and after all it was not their fault to fall in love ach other. The only one she could blame was herself. Why was she so stupid that she couldn't see what the feeling they had each other?
'I'm sorry... I-I-... I didn't mean to...'
'It's all right. I'm your friend, and friends should share their sorrow and joy, am I right?' He offered her his handkerchief.
Smiling, the girl took it and wept her tears away. 'Thank you.'
'Nagisa-san.... I'm very sorry. No matter how many times I apologize to you, it seems that it won't be enough. I know I hurt you so much, that I can't repay it.' He grasped her hand tightly.
'Suoh-san, please don't continue it anymore. It's not your fault.' She held the boy's hand firmly. 'It's not anyone's fault. So you shouldn't blame yourself. Please... For me, it's enough if I can see you happy. If you're happy, I'll be happy.'
Suoh was touched by her words. In this whole wide world, might be only Nagisa who cared about him very much, and who could understand him very well. Sometimes he wondered whether his decision to leave her for Nokoru was the right one. Could it be he regretted it?
But these thoughts were soon be over and disappeared as a smash on the door startled them both. Without being commanded, both of them quickly gazed to the source of the unexpected noise. To their surprised, the huge door of the boardroom had cracked, and there were three figures standing that he knew very well. And from their look, he could tell something very wrong had been going on, and it made him alerted instantly.
Nagisa seemed to be surprised too to see the three men standing by the door. She could sense there was something wrong going on, especially the look on Nokoru-sama's face. He looked so pale, and... terrified. What happened actually?
***
//Why the hell am I here?//
Idomu! Let me go! I don't want to go there!
Please... I don't want to come here! I don't want to meet him....
Please, Idomu, please let me go! I'll do anything, but just don't make me do this... Please!
***
You have to!
I don't care what you say! You have to do this!
You have to do as I say!
Nokoru! Stand up and walk! I don't care what ever happen I will still make you go there!
Even if I have to drag you there!
***
Idomu-san! Please! Stop this!
Let him go! You're hurting him! Please! I beg you!
Don't do this!
***
BRAKKKK!!!! [The door was opened]
***
//He's here... No! I'm here! He's with Nagisa now... What will I do? What am I supposed to do?//
'Nokoru?'
//He called my name... What shall I do? Should I ignore him and run away? But I can't.... Idomu won't let me go.... He doesn't want to let me go before I say something.... Before I tell him.... but I don't want to... I don't want to... Please.... Let me go!//
'Nokoru? Are you fine? What happened?' Suoh couldn't help himself to worry about him. Being his protector, and spending a lifetime with his One, he could feel Nokoru's anxiety. Nokoru seemed he was about to lose his conscious any moment now. And the sight Idomu was holding Nokoru's arm so tight made him so irritated. How dare he treating his 'One' like that?
'What have you done to him?' Suoh asked sharply to Idomu. He was certain Idomu had done something bad to Nokoru, and caused the boy shaking greatly.
But Idomu ignored him. Instead, he glared at Nokoru. 'Tell him what's happening to you.'
Nokoru didn't say anything. He was terrified. He didn't want to follow the order, but he had no courage also to stand and fight back. His heart had determined no matter happened to him he wouldn't say anything to Suoh, not a single word.
Getting no respond from the blonde. He tightened his grasp, insisting the boy to speak up something. Nokoru winced painfully, but still he refused to say something. He could feel the pain grew intensely on his arm, being held so tight by Idomu, but he was so afraid that he couldn't say anything about it. He just bit his lips to bear the pain on his arm, and at the same time trying to hold back any word he might say.
Idomu lost his patience. All the effort he put up had come to a dead-end. Everything seemed not going to work. 'NOKORU!!! TELL HIM NOW!!!!' He shouted at the poor boy.
Though Suoh disliked Idomu very much, he never expected the boy would ever shout at Nokoru. Startled by his shout, Suoh figured something had definitely gone wrong. But whatever it was, he didn't like the way Idomu treated his Nokoru. He didn't deserved to be treated like that. Suoh couldn't stand to see the pain in those blue eyes of Nokoru. He had to do something to stop him from suffering more.
'Yudaiji Idomu! Let him go at once!! You hurt him!!'
There was a great anger in his voice, and it was hard for Idomu to ignore him. He glared to the blue-hared ninja, and Suoh's warn had ceased the fire of anger in him. He seemed to be ready to start a fight with the ninja at any time. But of course, he remembered he didn't come all the way here, dragging Nokoru to have another round of fight with this son-of-the- bitch. He would do it in another occasion, but not now. Definitely not now.
'You stay out from me!!'
'God damn you!' Suoh was angry for real now, and he slammed the table loudly. He rose up from his seat at that very second, and immediately came towards Idomu. Without a warning, Suoh grabbed his collar, causing the boy let go of his grasp on Nokoru's arm. 'Do you really want a piece of me?!'
Idomu pushed him away. Obviously he was offended. He didn't understand why, but every time he met that ninja, there was always a feeling he needed to punch him right on his face. The only reason he didn't do it was he was afraid Nokoru would be mad at him. But now, he didn't care. He didn't give it a damn care. He would teach that ninja a lesson. Who did he think he was? He might be an expert in self-defense, but it didn't mean he could defeat him so easily.
Suoh didn't like being pushed like that by him. So he pushed him back, and soon both of them were pushing each other, till finally Idomu lost his temper, and he hit him right on his face. It was a hard one, and it was strong enough to make Suoh fell onto the floor.
Except Idomu, everyone else in the room was shocked. And it didn't end yet. Idomu didn't give Suoh a chance to recover and stand on his feet again. He rushed to the boy, and keyed him on the floor, while his fists were busy landing more smack on the face. Nokoru couldn't do anything to stop Idomu. He tried, but he was too exhausted, and he had power left to stop Idomu from beating Suoh again and again.
'No! Stop it! Idomu! Stop it!'
Akira came to help, but he was too not able to stop Idomu. He was pushed away, and bumped himself to the floor. It was a mess in the room. And Nagisa's cry made the situation even worse.
'Stop it, please.... Idomu, stop it! OK, I promise you I'll tell him. I'll tell him whatever you want me to tell him.' Nokoru shouted desperately. 'Please.... Don't hit him anymore.... I promise I'll tell him everything....'
Like a magic spell, Nokoru's words froze him. Somehow his words made Idomu realize their intention to come here in the first time. He was panting, and his face was sweating, but in some way he was satisfied he could have his revenge on that ninja he hated the most. It was worthwhile after all. Slowly he let go his grab on Suoh, and got onto his feet again, leaving the poor Suoh on the floor.
Nokoru tried to help Suoh back onto his feet again. He knew Suoh was very angry now. Never before some one dared enough to challenge him, or even defeated him. Now that Idomu could defeat him easily, it must have hurt his pride. And it was all because of him. Nokoru's heart was hurting than ever. How many times he should see his friends fighting because of him. How many times he had to see his friends' hearts hurt. It seemed it wouldn't end forever, unless he died. Yes.... Unless he died, and disappeared from this world. That would end everything.
'Suoh.... I'm sorry.... Everything is my fault. I shouldn't come here at the first place.'
Suoh remained silent. He was still angry to Idomu, his pride was hurt, and he couldn't divert his eyes from the man.
'Suoh, I-'
'Nokoru! Why are you here?' Suoh glared at him.
The blonde was startled. Never before Suoh would yell at him, and it almost made him in tears.
'I-'
'I thought we were agree not to see each other anymore. But why are you here?' He looked at Akira, still with anger in his eyes. 'Ijyuin? Why are you here also? You said you wished to meet Ohkawa Kaichou. Did you lie to me?'
'Takamura-senpai, I-'
'Suoh, it's not his fault. I'm the one who called him just now to come to my office. I-' Nokoru couldn't continue it. He was too scared to see Suoh. It seemed that everything he wanted to say would be wrong and useless. He wanted to get away, but of course, that would impossible for him to do so with Idomu standing behind him guarding the exit to escape. Now that he was here, might be he had to say what he had to say. There was no way out anymore. He had to do it.
//One more step... One more thing to do... Then I can rest in peace forever.//
He closed his eyes, thinking the best way to start all of this. He had to do this, no matter what it would be in the future, no matter he liked it or not, he had to do it. He took a deep breath, and sighed. Now it was time. He had to have courage, at least for one last time. Nokoru opened his blue eyes once more, and by the time he opened them, he was totally changed. He returned as the usual Imonoyama Nokoru. The confident and pleasant Imonoyama Nokoru, the glass mask he used to wear, and the mask he was about to wear to reveal the thing he had to do, before he died.
He smiled to Suoh. The smile he used to give him when he needed to get away from the paperwork. Ah... If only those moments could stay.... 'I come here to tell you something.'
His voice was so calm, and it made Idomu wandered where the 'terrified' Nokoru had gone. Nokoru's ability to transform himself had always amazed him, and he was never able to figure out how the hell he managed to do so. Nokoru looked at him, and Idomu didn't like the way he looked at him at all. Somehow he knew something wrong was going to happen, but whether he could prevent it still was a mystery even to him.
'Idomu-san, Akira, and...' He paused, and looked to the frightened girl next to Suoh. Frankly he hated to scare a girl, but he had no choice, he was forced to. 'Nagisa-jyou...' He smiled wider. 'Can you please leave me alone with Suoh here? I need to tell him something privately.'
The three of them were speechless. Idomu certainly disliked the idea leaving Nokoru with the ninja he hated the most without anyone around him, but then he looked at Akira who was staring at him signing to agree whatever Nokoru asked him to do.
He sighed. 'I understand, I'll do as your wish. We will be outside then waiting.' Idomu looked at Nokoru with negligence, but the blonde seemed to ignore it. He just smiled in return, thanking him to fulfill his order at the moment.
Soon the three of them started to leave the boardroom. Just before he closed the door, Idomu turned himself around to have the last look on his Nokoru. 'If anything happen, please call me, will you?'
'I will. Thank you.' Nokoru replied him, still with a smile on his angelic face.
Then the door was closed. Now, only the two of them in the room, and none of them were brave enough to start a conversation. They just stood on their place, and remained in their silence. Suoh looked confused. Yes, he was angry to Idomu, but yet he was curious what Nokoru was going to tell him. Finally, he took the courage to question him on the first place.
'What is it? I mean, what are going to tell me about?'
Nokoru's smile grew wider. 'I come just to say good-bye to you. I'm going away. Idomu's planning to return to Europe, and he'll take me with him. And we will never return here.'
'What? I don't understand. What are you trying to say actually?'
The blonde looked at him deeply. He hated to say those words, but he had no choice. His heart was breaking, but he had to hold on. He had to hold on till all of this was over, and at the end everything would be over. He came closer to the blue-hared boy, close enough till they were face to face. Nokoru could feel the deep breath of Suoh, he almost could hear his heartbeat, and he wished he could stay there, embraced him, and didn't let him go. But he had to go, and he couldn't take Suoh with him. He came closer till their bodies leaned each other. He leaned his chin over Suoh's high shoulders, and by his ears, the blonde whispered the words. The words he had to say.
'Good bye, Suoh.'
Soon after he said his words, Nokoru stepped backwards, still in his sweetest smile, leaving Suoh who looked terribly shocked.
'I'm leaving, and I will never come back here.'
//What?! How could you??//
'No. You can't do that. How about your responsibility in the Council?' //How about me?//
He shook his head. 'I'm sorry. I made my decision, and I won't change it.' He smiled. 'Please understand.'
'No! I don't understand, and I won't understand you! How could you do such a thing?!'
'Suoh.... I have to follow him.... I have to go with him...'
'And tell me why you have to follow him?'
'Because I-' Nokoru cut his own words. He didn't want to lie to Suoh, but he was forced to. To lie to him was the last thing he ever wanted. But he would leave sooner later, and it was the best thing if Suoh didn't have to know anything about it till the time had come.
'I love him, Suoh. He's the only one I have.'
Thunderclaps. Nokoru's last words were definitely hurt Suoh's feeling. How could he say that?
'Is that so?' Suoh tried to hold his anger from exploding. 'So your love to him is more important than anything else, even your obligation to the council?' //How about me?// He couldn't control his voice intonation any much longer. He began to raise his voice, and it made Nokoru shivered.
The poor boy's hands had turned cold now. They were freezing, and he couldn't stop them from trembling. He wanted to run away, or collapse that very second if it was possible. But he knew he had to hold on. He had to be fearless to face Suoh's rage. He was praying Suoh wouldn't sense his lie.
'Yes. I believe you get my point clearly there. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of everything.' He forced his smile.
'Nokoru!! Is that what you want me to hear? Is that what you want me to hear?'
'Yes.' Nokoru nodded his head, hoping Suoh wouldn't see him trembling.
'AHAHAHAHA....' Suoh couldn't control himself anymore. He was laughing out loud. There was a strange feeling growing inside of him. Part of him wanted to explode in anger, but the other part realized so well he wanted to laugh. Why? He didn't understand either, might be he just wanted to laugh at himself. He was laughing at his foolishness, or perhaps, insanity. How could he be foolish enough to believe all this time Nokoru would think he was precious for him? How could he believe that Nokoru love him actually? The fact that Nokoru would easily leave him, and disappear from his life made him so scared. What was he in Nokoru's eyes? Was it true he was only a bodyguard to him? Was it true he was worthless?
No! He refused to reveal the answer. Similarly, he refused to admit the fact that he was only a bodyguard to his Nokoru. He refused the truth that Idomu defeated him. He was distressed for sure. Heavily distressed. He wanted to scream out loud. The pain he had been suffering in his heart, which caused the illness in his mind day and night. He wanted to let it out once for all. For God's sake, he swore he almost hit the blonde on his face, if he didn't remind himself that he was an Imonoyama's heir. How could he say such a thing after all he had done for him? How could he love that goddamn Yudaiji instead of him? Had he forgotten all the things that Yudaiji'd done to him that nearly caused his death? It didn't make sense at all. Nokoru had to be insane if he still fell in love with that son-of- the-bitch. He said he was sick of everything. Did it mean he was sick of him too?
'Go away, Nokoru...' Suoh whispered in silence. His voice was filled by anger. 'Go away, and never show up in front of me again!!'
Nokoru gasped. Obviously he was shocked to hear that.
'Go away NOW!!! I swear I don't want to see you again FOREVER!!!'
It hurt! It really hurt! The blonde couldn't hold back his tears anymore. Never in his dream, Suoh would chase him away. He shouldn't cry actually, for he hoped Suoh would do that to him. But why he couldn't stop his tears from flowing down.... No! Stop crying! It was his own choice, so he had to bear it. It was his wish to have Suoh driving him away, so why he had to cry now.
'Suoh. I'm sor-' He was about to apologize, when Suoh's interruption cut his words. The ninja refused to hear any more words from him. He even refused to see Nokoru's face any second more. The next thing Nokoru knew, Suoh grasped his arm so tight, that he nearly screamed in pain, and dragged him towards the huge door of the boardroom.
'If you wanna leave, FINE then.' The blue-hared boy opened the door roughly, and as soon as the door cracked, he threw poor Nokoru out of the room, slamming his slim body against the wall across them. 'GO AWAY, NOKORU!!! And please never come back!!'
Nokoru was slammed to the wall in front of the boardroom with tears on his pale cheeks. His heart was hurt more than his body. But the worst was yet to come, before him, his three friends who were waiting for his return were stunned. Idomu was the first to react when he saw what just happened. Without wasting any second, he rushed towards the blonde with a horrified look on his face.
'Nokoru?! What happened?'
But Nokoru couldn't answer him. He was both terrified and shocked. Suoh was still standing by the door, glaring at him with his breath panting by anger. He was terribly mad. A ninja was supposed to stay calm in all situation that might happened, but the jealously and broken heart had driven him mad, and his rage was beyond of his control.
'Go away from me, Nokoru! I swear I don't want to see you again forever. You may leave to anywhere you like, and I don't give it a damn care. You're not my 'One' anymore. Do you hear that?! You are NOT my 'ONE' anymore!!! I don't care even if you DIE out there!!'
Suoh's last statement had almost struck him to death. But the blonde remained silent. He was too shock to respond it. He bit his lips with tears still flowing down like heavy rain. He wished he was able to kneel down in front of Suoh, and begged him for his forgiveness, but he knew he couldn't do that. Suoh had hated him for sure now, just as he expected. He should be contented now, but instead of being happy about it, he felt his heart broken to pieces, and it was a hell of pain.
Idomu didn't understand what had happened between the two of them. He was confused, and the scene laid before him right at the moment definitely not the one he ever anticipated. Supposed that ninja would be worry, and felt sorry for Nokoru... but what happened now? He threw Nokoru out of the room just like that? Just like garbage or something? Scolded him like he had been making a sin to him? This was wrong. It was not right for certain. What would he suppose to do now? Feeling angry? Oh, yes, he was. He was more than angry. That ninja shouldn't treated his Nokoru like that. Definitely not by the time Nokoru needed him the most. What kind of man he was anyway? Did he have a heart of stone? His fist were ready to give the ninja another hit, if that would be necessary to make him realize what was going on to Nokoru, he would willingly do that.
Being able to read what was in Idomu's mind, instantly the blonde grabbed Idomu's arm and shook his head. He was still not able to say any word, but his eyes signed the Yudaiji heir to cancel whatever he had in mind that moment. Slowly, Nokoru wiped away his tears, and put a weak smile on his pale face. It was painful for him to smile in this kind of situation, but he was after all an Imonoyama, wasn't he? It was obvious to Idomu that Nokoru tried to hide his true condition, but Nokoru was failed in maintaining his balance. He was so weak to stand properly on his feet that he nearly tripped over and fell with his face on the floor, if Idomu didn't aware of his condition. Immediately he grasped the boy's arm to steady him. The blonde looked at him, and smiled thankfully for the support.
With his last energy Nokoru explained to his worried friends. 'I've told Suoh whatever I need to tell him. Idomu, Akira...' Reluctantly he looked at the lady who was in tears as well. 'Nagisa-jyou... I'm sorry to make all of you worry.... I promise you I won't make any of you worry again.' He smiled wider. He could feel tears begin to sting his eyes again, but this time he would hold them back whatever happened.
He diverted his blue eyes to Suoh, his Suoh.... the person he loved the most on this world, and might be the person who hated him the most at the moment. 'Suoh.... I'm sorry I've disappointed you.... But I'm sure you'll forget me by...' Gently he loosened Idomu's grasp, and bowed his head to the ninja. 'Good-bye, Suoh.'
Silence. Not a single word was spoken, not even a single sound was heard in the area. Only the sound of tears dripping to the floor formed by the most beautiful sapphire eyes on the world. Nokoru wasn't able to hold back his tears as he wanted to. For he loved the man before his presence, and truly it hurt his feeling so much to say farewell to him. He didn't want to lose him, but at the same time he couldn't keep him. And he knew he could do nothing else than to fly away from the scene as soon as possible. He was about to step out from the place he was standing when Suoh's call stopped him from moving further.
'So.... That's all, isn't it? You just walk away from me, and that's mean it's all over, is that what you're thinking?' Rage remained in his voice.
Nokoru frowned. Gradually he looked at the ninja, and he smiled. 'I thought it was you who wanted me to go away....'
Suoh's face was reddened. He disliked the answer given by Nokoru that he rushed towards him. Akira couldn't stand it anymore. He was afraid his senpai would harm his Kaichou that he immediately approached the blonde and stood before him in order to protect him. At least, he had to do something.
'Move away, Ijyuin.' Suoh's firm voice commanded the black-hared who was stubbornly disobeying him.
'Takamura-senpai... Please.... I don't want anything worse to happen again...' The 'genki' look that used to remain on Akira's face had disappeared, replaced by a determined glare. Akira liked Suoh very much; in fact he adored him so much. Being with him most of his lifetime, he learned many things from him. But still he couldn't understand why Takamura-senpai could ever do that to Kaichou, knowing Kaichou had suffered a lot. He couldn't understand why he was so rude to him.
'Akira.... It's alright. Thank you. I'll be fine. Please move away.' A soft voice almost like a whisper astonished him. He turned around to see the owner of the voice.
'But Kaichou-'
'I believe Suoh has something to say to me. It's alright.' Nokoru touched his shoulder gently.
Halfhearted the black-hared boy stepped away leaving both of the men face to face.
'Before you leave, I just want to tell you something.'
Nokoru smiled. 'What is it, Suoh?'
The ninja turned around, and Nagisa found herself surprised as the blue- hared man was heading to her. He took the girl's shaking hands in his, and kissed them. Then slowly he looked back at Nokoru who was stunned on his place.
'I just want to tell you that I've found my new 'One'. The 'One' I should protect, and the 'One' who will be my destiny.' Suoh smiled as he looked back to Nagisa again. 'Nagisa-san, I'm sorry, for all this time, I was so fool I didn't realize it. I should've known you're the 'One' for me. All this time, you're there to comfort me, to listen to me, and you're the one who understand me the most. I'm sorry being so blind all this time.'
Nagisa gasped. She was speechless. But at the same time, she was confused how to respond. Part of her was so happy to hear the words from her love, Suoh. Finally, Suoh realized how her feeling to him all this time. But part of her was tearing apart as well, as she could almost feel how hurt Nokoru-sama's feeling at the moment.
'Suoh-san... I....' She looked at the blonde worriedly. But it seemed there was no reaction at all from him, as if the man had turned himself into statue.
'From now on, Nagisa-san is my 'One', and I should protect her with all my life.' Suoh declared his swear. He looked at the stunned blonde again. 'Nokoru... sama.... I hope you're happy now. You may leave whenever you like. I won't be your burden anymore. I know you're sick of me, but I promise you since this moment, I won't follow you around anymore. You can do whatever you want to do, you are free to do whatever you like to do, and I won't be there to stop you anymore.' He paused. There was silence in the area. 'Good-bye, Nokoru... sama...'
Nokoru was speechless. He blinked his eyes time and again to prevent his tears to form again. Deep in his heart he wished all of this were just a dream. That he would wake in the morning time laughing at himself realizing it was only a dream. But the hurt in heart that growing inside made him have to accept that it was not a dream. Suoh finally had abandoned him, and in a sudden he lost his reason to stay alive now. He had lost his reason to keep on living even for one more day on this world by the moment Suoh declared his new 'One'. He had nothing now. Nothing at all.
He had to leave then. He had done what he should do. Suoh had found himself another 'One' replacing him, so what was the point he stayed there? He should be relieved right at the moment, knowing the fact he could die in peace. And there was nothing more he could say except a farewell.
'I'm glad you've decided it...' He smiled. 'Sayounara, Suoh...' And that was all he had to say. Soon after he completed his words, he ran away leaving his friends behind listening to his fading footsteps in the alley. He had to disappear. Then silence let itself crept among them again.
'I don't understand....' Akira started to talk, dismissing the silence among them. 'Takamura-senpai.... I don't understand you.... Why... I mean how could you do that?' It was obvious Akira blamed Suoh for what happened.
'Ijyuin, I just-' Suoh realized how bad he was in everyone's eyes, but he himself was terribly hurt. There was no use trying to explain what just happened to every body here now. Even if there was, he didn't know how anyway.
Akira shook his head. He refused to allow any explanation Suoh was about to give. He refused to hear any word Suoh was about to say. The boy stepped back slowly, and without sparing a glance to Suoh, he turned away, and ran after Nokoru. He knew he might not be able to comfort his Kaichou, but at least he would be beside him, and support him, yes... it might be the best he could do to Kaichou...
Again the alley was only filled by the fading footstep, leaving the three of them who seemed to be drowned in an eternal silence... Idomu shook his head. He couldn't stop himself from thinking how the hell Takamura could ever do such a thing to Nokoru. He understood if Takamura hated him, and somehow he managed to accept if the ninja wanted to have a revenge on him, but he couldn't accept the way the ninja treated Nokoru. How could he possibly do that? How could he possibly chase Nokoru away by the time he needed him the most? By the time he was near to his own grave? How could he didn't care of Nokoru, instead he found himself another 'One', and declared it to everyone here? Nokoru loved him so much. He loved him till his death.
Suoh's head was hurting him. Enough of the trouble for the day.... He slowly sighted at Nagisa who was looking back at him in a great distress. She was the 'One' for him now, and perhaps would last forever. Nagisa must have been worrying about him. He forced himself to give the girl a smile to comfort her.
'Nagisa-san, I'm sorry I've troubled you.... It's getting late.... Let me escort you till your home....' Suoh came towards her, offering a hand to the girl.
Nagisa was drowned in confusion. 'Suoh-san, I...'
'TAKAMURA SUOH!!!' Idomu yelled his name.
A loud scream addressed his name. Suoh diverted his look to the man who was addressing him. Clearly he disliked the way his name called. Somehow he knew a new confrontation between him and that Yudaiji heir was about to enter a new chapter.
'I HATE YOU!!!' Idomu's scream was louder than ever, it even filled the entire empty alley. In a glance, he rushed towards the ninja with his fist ready to smack the man as hard as he could. But unfortunately Suoh had prepared himself to deal with the Yudaiji heir. In just a second he was able to avoid Idomu's sudden attack, and moreover, he was able to settle some scores on Yudaiji's body. Though it was painful, Yudaiji refused to give up. He didn't stop assaulting the ninja, till finally Suoh grasped his collar, slammed him against the wall, and keyed him up.
'Will you stay calm NOW??!!' Suoh's question sounded more like a command to him, a command he refused to obey even if he had to die.
'NO, I WON'T!!!' Idomu struggled his best to free himself from Suoh's grasp. But of course, Suoh was much more stronger than he was. His effort fruited nothing in conclusion.
'God damn it, Yudaiji!!! Enough of the trouble for the day!!! I don't want to fight you anymore!!! It's OVER, YOU HEAR ME??!!!'
'NO!!!! It is not OVER till I get you for this....'
'You're so stubborn, aren't you? Don't you realize you won't be able to beat me?'
'I'd rather have a head of stone, compared to you who have a heart of stone!!! How could you treated Nokoru like that?!! What kind of a friend are you??!!!'
Suoh's face was reddened as ever. He was offended by Idomu's words. 'Do you think I want to do that?? He forced me to. And thanks to you who make it happen!!!'
'What....' Idomu stopped his struggle. Suoh's words had stunned him. He didn't understand what the ninja meant. 'What the hell are you talking about??'
Suoh released his grasp, and pushed the man away from him. He turned away, intending to leave Yudaiji alone. He didn't pay a damn care what would happen between Yudaiji and Nokoru anymore. Imonoyama Nokoru was not his 'One' anymore, he was free to choose whomever he wanted to be with, and it was definitely not his responsibility to look after him anymore. He fixed his coat a little to make sure his appearance better, and he returned to Nagisa who was speechless to see both men were fighting each other.
'Come, Nagisa-san.... I'll take you home...' Suoh softened his voice. Now Nagisa was the only matter in his life. He had to protect his 'One' now, and this time he would never fail again.
'Wait!!' Idomu rushed to him, and grabbed the ninja preventing him to go away. 'Wait!! Don't go!!! Tell me what do you mean just now??'
'Nothing.' The ninja answered coldly. 'I just want to congratulate you. Finally, you've won Nokoru's heart.' He smirked. 'Congratulations!! He loves you.... You should be happy now....'
'WHAT??!!!' Idomu frowned. Now he began to understand the reason why Suoh acted that way. It was impossible even for him to logic why the ninja acted that way to the 'One' he loved the most. He wouldn't ever do that if not.... If not....
But there was no time to argue again about it. He had to find out the truth. 'Tell me.... What did he tell you?! What the hell Nokoru told you?!'
Suoh began to feel confused. Idomu changed his manner so soon. 'Nothing.' He answered. Paused. 'He said he would leave with you to Europe. That's what you want him to tell me, isn't it?' Suoh looked at him questioningly. From the way Idomu's acted, he could sense something was out of place, but he couldn't figure out what.
Idomu couldn't believe it. He lied to him. Nokoru lied to the ninja. He didn't tell him about the truth. Suddenly he remembered what Nokoru told him earlier when he got out from the room.
//'I've told Suoh whatever I need to tell him.//
So that was Nokoru told him about.... Things he needed to tell Takamura were things that make the ninja left him for someone else. How could he.... How could he be so stupid? He was so foolish.... He sacrificed everything he had, and now... he chose to suffer alone?? This couldn't be happening. Suoh should know the truth; he got to no matter what.
Observing Idomu stunned without any word from him made Suoh curious even more. He couldn't help himself not to ask what was going on. 'Idomu? Is there something wrong?'
But he got no answer from the Yudaiji heir. Idomu was frowned and remained in silence.
'Idomu? Are you alright?' He got closer to the man, and placed his hand on the man's shoulder, trying to make the man conscious of his presence there.
'He lies....' Idomu whispered without looking to the ninja's golden eyes.
'What?' Suoh wasn't sure he heard what Idomu had just said. 'I-'
'Don't you hear me?' In a sudden, he turned his eyes to meet the golden eyes before him, and with a glare he repeated himself. 'He lied!! Nokoru lied to you!!'
'What? What do you mean?' Suoh was getting more confused.
'He lied!! He's not going anywhere. I-' Idomu found himself hard to breathe, but he had to. He couldn't stop here. He had to tell the ninja everything he knew about Nokoru. Before everything was too late. 'I'm going to return to Europe, but he's not coming with me. He's not going anywhere.'
'But...' Paused. 'But I don't understand. Why must he lie to me?' Suoh asked in return.
'Because he-' It was hard for Idomu to say the word. 'Don't you get it? He wants you to forget him.'
'I don't understand... But why?' Suoh was getting inpatient.
'He is....' Paused. 'He is.... dying.'
Suoh was struck. There was a horrible silence among them. Nagisa gasped. The fact Idomu just told them was beyond anyone's expectation.
'No! You lie to me!! He's not... Nokoru is just fine. It's impossible!!! He's just fine!' Suoh refused to believe Idomu's word.
'Listen!!! I'm telling you the truth. He's dying, and he doesn't want anyone to know about it, especially YOU!!!'
'NO!! NO!! You lie!! He's not dying!'
'Listen to me, GODDAMNIT!' Idomu lost his patient for sure now. How come it was so hard to make him understand that he was telling the truth? He grasped Suoh's collar, and forced the man to be face-to-face with him. 'You have no choice. You have to believe me. He's dying.'
'No... Impossible.... He can't be.... You LIE to me!!!
'Why should I lie to you anyway?! It brings me no use!!' Idomu snapped him, hoping he would get back to his consciousness.
Suoh was silent. He was speechless. Perhaps, Idomu was really telling the truth. If he thought about it time and again, yes... it all made sense. Why Nokoru refused him, why he tried to avoid him, why he always denied his feelings, and why he didn't want him to be beside him anymore. It all made sense. Nokoru cared about him, he loved him the most, and he wouldn't let anyone or anything hurt the one he loved the most, even if that meant he had to sacrifice his own happiness. Even if that meant he had to lie to everyone, including to himself. How could he be so foolish? How could he be so blind? He should have known about it. He should have known Nokoru was lying to him. What kind of friend he was then? He had abandoned him, he misunderstood him, and to his greatest fear, he had hurt him so badly.
Suoh was in a great frustration at the moment. He was so afraid to face anyone now, having known the truth. He was so ashamed to Idomu, to Nagisa, and most of all, to Nokoru. How could he hurt the most kindhearted person on Earth who didn't care of his own happiness? How could he ever repay him? He was so ashamed to himself. How could he proudly claim himself as the great Takamura heir if now he had disappointed everyone, especially his truly 'One'? He failed him. It was never him who protect his One's happiness, it was his One who always protected his happiness. It was always the other way around. And his fear had brought him into tears. He was a failure. He couldn't stop his crying, he was failed as a warrior. The fact he hurt Nokoru's heart was unbearable.
'Stop taking a pity on yourself!!' Idomu slammed him against the wall again. 'Feeling sorry for yourself won't do any good now!!' He yelled at the ninja. 'Go and see Nokoru now!!! Apologize to him, before it's too late to do so.'
Suoh stunned. Idomu had brought him back into his consciousness. Yes. He had to see Nokoru now. He had to ask for his forgiveness, even if he had to kneel and beg him for it.
But his reflection was gone at once as he heard footsteps approached them in hurried. It was obvious he was running all the way to get here.... How surprised they were when they recognized the silhouette that had been running towards them turned out to be Akira. He was exhausted, and needed some time to catch up with his normal pulse again...
'Takamura-senpai.... Yudaiji-san.... Kaichou... Kaichou...' Panting. 'He...'
When he heard Nokoru was mentioned, instantly Idomu loosened his grasp on Suoh's collar, and rushed towards the breathless Akira. He couldn't help not to worry every time he heard about Nokoru, and he could tell from the way Akira's look at the moment, Nokoru had to be in trouble now.
'What happen to Nokoru?!' He shook the black-hared boy's body, trying to get immediate information about the blonde.
'Kaichou...' Akira fixed his breath. 'He needs help.'
'WHAT DID YOU SAY?!'
'He.... When I ran after him, I found him coughing badly on the stairs, and... and... there was blood coming out from his mouth.... I ask him to wait while I seek for help...' Akira's eyes were terrified. 'You have to help him.... He's on the second floor...'
Suoh's heart seemed to leap out from its place when he heard it. Without asking any further question, he ran to wherever Nokoru was by that moment. He had to be there on time. He had to help him. Idomu and Akira were right behind him. They were all in a great hurry as if the time wouldn't spare them any chance again.
Suoh was panic. The three of them were in a great panic.
//This is not happening... it can't be happening...//
He ran faster. He had to get there on time. Only one name mattered to him now.... Nokoru.
//Wait for me... Nokoru! Wait for me!!//
He forgot the two men behind him trying to keep up with him. He didn't pay attention to his surroundings now, in his mind he only thought about his 'Nokoru', and how he could get there to help him at once.
//Nokoru, I'm coming!! Wait for me!!//
***
To be continued –
Author's note: When I wrote this fic, Suoh char really pissed me off, and there were times I was crying all by myself. It's odd, isn't it? Anyway... Hope Suoh's fans out there don't hate me for making him such a villain... hehehehe...
Kin'ni darling.... Beta read for me, please! Emergency!
R&R, please, please, please...
No words were spoken in the boardroom at the moment. The only sound could be heard in the place was just the sound of the tea being poured into its cup. Nagisa looked very beautiful under the warm shine of the sun. At least that was what in Suoh's mind presently.
'It's a beautiful day, isn't it?' Nagisa started the conversation, blushing on her cheek.
Suoh's face was reddened. 'Yes, it is. The weather is perfect.'
//Why are we talking about the weather anyway?//
Silence again.
'Suoh-san? I mean... Takamura-senpai...'
'Please call me Suoh.'
'H-hai... Suoh-san...' It was quite obvious the girl was very nervous. Actually both of them were nervous. The fact that they had not met each other for a long time certainly misrepresented the way they acted right at the moment.
Suoh sighed, as he recalled the past. In the past, they also rarely spoke to each other. Even though they still had that special bound, but most of the time he spent with her were always in quiet. They would remain silent, and say nothing to each other, but somehow they understood what each other's mind, each other's feeling. Now.... It was so different. They didn't know what to say, what to talk about, and in fact, they had nothing about to say anyway.
Still, he loved her presence right now. Somehow he still could see and feel the memory lied beneath. He still remembered how his heart beating every time his eyes met hers, and every time they were facing each other. And sometimes he admitted he missed those moments, when they sat side by side, doing nothing, except looking at the sunset faraway. And those moments were so beautiful no one could ever forgot. Not even him. He still remembered how nervous he was the first time he took her hand in his. How beautiful the moments were, and he wished it were never changed.
But the moment didn't last longer. The need coming out from his heart to be beside his 'One' always, to protect him and to guide him had made him realized that Nagisa was not his 'One'. She was not the one he always thought and cared about. He realized the only one he always thought about, ever since he opened his eyes in the mist of the morning, was not her. It was Nokoru. Nokoru was the one he always cared about. The one he loved the most, and the one he would die for. He realized he couldn't divide his heart to two persons. And by the moment he realized it, he knew he had to end their relationship at once.
He hated to make Nagisa cried, but he had made his choice. He only lived for his 'One', and he would give his life for him too. There was no place in his heart for her, and even if he had to choose between Nokoru and her, he definitely would choose Nokoru. He still remembered Nagisa was in tears when he decided to end their relationship. She didn't say anything by that time. Just nodded her head, turned away, and fled from the scene. His heart was broken too, knowing he had hurt her heart terribly. If only he realized his feeling earlier, Nagisa wouldn't be so sad. But what happened had happened. There was no way to return and change the whole thing. He lived only for his Nokoru, and Nokoru was the only one he cared about ever since.
Now here he was, sitting face to face with the girl who once stole his heart with her beauty and kindness. Yet she remained beauty as ever, more indeed, and her kindness never changed a bit. Lots of girls would never be nice anymore to the men who once broke their heart and disappointed them. Nagisa was different from them. She was still kind and cared about him. Though it was the fact he had lied and hurt her.
'Suoh-san, are you alright?'
Suoh was startled. Nagisa's words instantly brought his mind back from wandering.
'I-I'm fine. I'm just thinking about something.' He answered awkwardly.
'Am I disturbing you?'
'No- Not at all.'
'I came here to apologize what I've said to you before in Ijyuin-senpai's house. I was so selfish, thinking of my own feeling, and didn't care how you feel. I'm very sorry.' The girl bowed her head deeply as a sincere sign of her apology.
'No. Nagisa-san. Please don't say that. It is me who has to apologize to you. You are right. I have hurt your feeling so much, and I am so stupid that I don't even realize it.'
'No... Suoh-san.... It isn't your fault. I-'
She was speechless. It was true he had hurt her heart by keeping the truth away from her. But she could never blame Suoh for this. She knew very well Suoh just did not want her to be hurt, and after all, it was not Suoh's fault. In fact, it was her fault. She should have known Suoh dedicated his life only for one person, and that person was definitely not her. Nokoru-sama. The perfect Imonoyama Nokoru-sama. That was the kind of person who deserved to have a protection from a Takamura. Some one so precious, so wonderful, and yet nobody was able to compete him in any aspect.
Not even her. People used to say she was one wonderful lady, beautiful and gifted with many talents, a pure artist, came from a respectable family, but that was all she was. People only judged her from her heredity, for her family's name, and they rarely saw the real of her. She didn't hate her family. She loved them. She loved them very much. But sometimes she wondered would people love her the way they did if she didn't come from that kind of family? No... She believed not. Only Takamura. Only Suoh who was able to see her, to love her, and accept her without even knowing who she was at the first place and what family she came from.
Sometimes she wanted to go back to the past, when Suoh still loved her and cared for her. When Suoh still spent times together with her, and those moments were so beautiful that it was hard for her to forget. But it was all gone. She couldn't return to the past. Suoh had made his choice, and if she loved him, she had to accept his choice, though it would hurt her heart. As long as she could still sight Suoh's face, she was happy already. And there was nothing more she could ask.
'Suoh-san, please don't blame yourself. You only do what you believe in. And I understand it. I admit I was hurt, but it's already long time ago, and I can hardly remember it. Please don't worry so much. I'm happy if you're happy.'
'Nagisa-san...' Suoh could feel his tears began to sting his amber eyes. 'Thank you... I'm glad we're still friends.'
Nagisa nodded her head as an agreement. 'We are. We're friends forever, aren't we?'
Suoh smiled and nodded his head.
Deep in her heart, Nagisa was very happy to see Suoh smiling to her. It had been a long time since the last time she saw him smiling.
'Suoh-san... How's Nokoru-sama?'
Suoh was startled when Nagisa asked the question in a sudden. 'Why? I mean why do you ask me?'
'Lately I seldom see the two of you together, I mean... You used to be beside him always, but-' Nagisa suddenly stopped when she observed Suoh's odd reaction. 'Suoh-san, is there something wrong?'
'I-...' He looked into Nagisa's eyes, wondering whether he should tell her or not. All this time, Nagisa had always listened to his problems, and might be that was he needed now someone to listen to him. 'I had a fight with him.'
He waited for Nagisa's respond, but the girl remained quiet.
'I fought with him. He didn't want me to be beside him anymore. He told me he was sick of me, and I was mad at him. We had a fight, and...' Pause. 'And we broke up.' Pause again.
'I don't understand. Both of you are such good friends. Why do you fight each other?'
Suoh smirked. He himself didn't understand what caused it. The only thing he knew he was trying to be honest to him, and to his heart. But obviously being honest was not always easy. All he wanted was only to let Nokoru knew how his true feeling to him. If he knew at the end Nokoru would hate him, and run away from him, he would rather die than telling him the truth.
Nagisa looked at him deeply. She knew very well Suoh was suffering. She could tell from the amber eyes laid before hers. If only she could say something to comfort him, but she herself didn't know what was going on between them. She knew that all she could do now was just to wait and listen to his words. Suoh needed someone to listen to him. He didn't some wise advices at the moment. All he needed was a pair of ears who willingly listen to him, and a heart to feel what he felt now.
Suoh looked at the girl's eyes again. They were so beautiful and... peaceful. How he missed those eyes, and how he missed the memories they spent together in the past.
'Sometimes I miss the old days, especially when we were in the elementary school.' He sighed.
'Yes, you were in the elementary, but I was still in the kindergarten school.' She smiled.
His smile grew as he heard the correction. 'Yes... True. We were still very young then.'
'Suoh-san.... Do you still remember the first time we met?'
'How could I ever forget that? You were playing your flute on the Wisteria tree, and I'd never heard such a beautiful song. I can still remember the song till now.'
The girl's cheeks were blushing. 'Thank you.'
'But you ran away from me. I thought I was dreaming. Then I saw you again playing the flute, but still I was not confident enough to come to you, and asked your name. Or at least spoke to you.'
'Why?'
'Because I thought you didn't like me, that's why you were running away from me the first time we met.' Now it was Suoh's turn to have red color on his face.
'You know it wasn't true. I was just...' She paused and gave a sweet smile to the boy who sitting in front of her. Her smile was so sweet, that it almost made Suoh's heart leap out from his chest.
'I was just the same as you were. I was so shy, and I kept thinking of you since the first time we met. And I had no courage to speak to you.' Now both of them were blushing.
'But Suoh-san... That was the reason I was running away from you. I didn't run away because I hated you. I was just too shy to say what was in my heart.' She smiled to him. 'I believe Nokoru-sama also has a reason behind his action.' She stopped again to see whether Suoh got her point or not.
'But whatever it is, I know very well he loves you. He never hates you. He cares about you very much, and I-' Nagisa stopped her words. She knew everything now. She knew that Suoh only loved Nokoru, and even though she tried very hard to accept it, she still could feel the jealousy in her heart. And the fact she couldn't forget her love to Suoh made her very sad, and she couldn't hold her tears again.
Suoh understood very well how hard it was for Nagisa to forget about him. That was why he didn't want to tell the reason he left her. As long as possible he wanted to keep it as a secret. The thing he hated the most in this world was to see his loved ones crying. He himself never ever shed tears. He was a warrior; at least he was born to become one. He used to bear all the pain in his heart, and not to let anyone found out his true feeling, unless he let that one knew. Now the girl he once loved was crying before him, and nothing he could do about it. He knew it was no use for him to say any word to comfort her.
Nagisa didn't understand herself why she was crying. Now that she knew Suoh never loved her, he only loved Nokoru, and because of him, he had left her, she supposed to hate him. Or at least she supposed to hate Nokoru- sama. That would be a lot easier for her to continue her life. But she couldn't do so. She couldn't hate any of them. She loved them as her best friends, and after all it was not their fault to fall in love ach other. The only one she could blame was herself. Why was she so stupid that she couldn't see what the feeling they had each other?
'I'm sorry... I-I-... I didn't mean to...'
'It's all right. I'm your friend, and friends should share their sorrow and joy, am I right?' He offered her his handkerchief.
Smiling, the girl took it and wept her tears away. 'Thank you.'
'Nagisa-san.... I'm very sorry. No matter how many times I apologize to you, it seems that it won't be enough. I know I hurt you so much, that I can't repay it.' He grasped her hand tightly.
'Suoh-san, please don't continue it anymore. It's not your fault.' She held the boy's hand firmly. 'It's not anyone's fault. So you shouldn't blame yourself. Please... For me, it's enough if I can see you happy. If you're happy, I'll be happy.'
Suoh was touched by her words. In this whole wide world, might be only Nagisa who cared about him very much, and who could understand him very well. Sometimes he wondered whether his decision to leave her for Nokoru was the right one. Could it be he regretted it?
But these thoughts were soon be over and disappeared as a smash on the door startled them both. Without being commanded, both of them quickly gazed to the source of the unexpected noise. To their surprised, the huge door of the boardroom had cracked, and there were three figures standing that he knew very well. And from their look, he could tell something very wrong had been going on, and it made him alerted instantly.
Nagisa seemed to be surprised too to see the three men standing by the door. She could sense there was something wrong going on, especially the look on Nokoru-sama's face. He looked so pale, and... terrified. What happened actually?
***
//Why the hell am I here?//
Idomu! Let me go! I don't want to go there!
Please... I don't want to come here! I don't want to meet him....
Please, Idomu, please let me go! I'll do anything, but just don't make me do this... Please!
***
You have to!
I don't care what you say! You have to do this!
You have to do as I say!
Nokoru! Stand up and walk! I don't care what ever happen I will still make you go there!
Even if I have to drag you there!
***
Idomu-san! Please! Stop this!
Let him go! You're hurting him! Please! I beg you!
Don't do this!
***
BRAKKKK!!!! [The door was opened]
***
//He's here... No! I'm here! He's with Nagisa now... What will I do? What am I supposed to do?//
'Nokoru?'
//He called my name... What shall I do? Should I ignore him and run away? But I can't.... Idomu won't let me go.... He doesn't want to let me go before I say something.... Before I tell him.... but I don't want to... I don't want to... Please.... Let me go!//
'Nokoru? Are you fine? What happened?' Suoh couldn't help himself to worry about him. Being his protector, and spending a lifetime with his One, he could feel Nokoru's anxiety. Nokoru seemed he was about to lose his conscious any moment now. And the sight Idomu was holding Nokoru's arm so tight made him so irritated. How dare he treating his 'One' like that?
'What have you done to him?' Suoh asked sharply to Idomu. He was certain Idomu had done something bad to Nokoru, and caused the boy shaking greatly.
But Idomu ignored him. Instead, he glared at Nokoru. 'Tell him what's happening to you.'
Nokoru didn't say anything. He was terrified. He didn't want to follow the order, but he had no courage also to stand and fight back. His heart had determined no matter happened to him he wouldn't say anything to Suoh, not a single word.
Getting no respond from the blonde. He tightened his grasp, insisting the boy to speak up something. Nokoru winced painfully, but still he refused to say something. He could feel the pain grew intensely on his arm, being held so tight by Idomu, but he was so afraid that he couldn't say anything about it. He just bit his lips to bear the pain on his arm, and at the same time trying to hold back any word he might say.
Idomu lost his patience. All the effort he put up had come to a dead-end. Everything seemed not going to work. 'NOKORU!!! TELL HIM NOW!!!!' He shouted at the poor boy.
Though Suoh disliked Idomu very much, he never expected the boy would ever shout at Nokoru. Startled by his shout, Suoh figured something had definitely gone wrong. But whatever it was, he didn't like the way Idomu treated his Nokoru. He didn't deserved to be treated like that. Suoh couldn't stand to see the pain in those blue eyes of Nokoru. He had to do something to stop him from suffering more.
'Yudaiji Idomu! Let him go at once!! You hurt him!!'
There was a great anger in his voice, and it was hard for Idomu to ignore him. He glared to the blue-hared ninja, and Suoh's warn had ceased the fire of anger in him. He seemed to be ready to start a fight with the ninja at any time. But of course, he remembered he didn't come all the way here, dragging Nokoru to have another round of fight with this son-of-the- bitch. He would do it in another occasion, but not now. Definitely not now.
'You stay out from me!!'
'God damn you!' Suoh was angry for real now, and he slammed the table loudly. He rose up from his seat at that very second, and immediately came towards Idomu. Without a warning, Suoh grabbed his collar, causing the boy let go of his grasp on Nokoru's arm. 'Do you really want a piece of me?!'
Idomu pushed him away. Obviously he was offended. He didn't understand why, but every time he met that ninja, there was always a feeling he needed to punch him right on his face. The only reason he didn't do it was he was afraid Nokoru would be mad at him. But now, he didn't care. He didn't give it a damn care. He would teach that ninja a lesson. Who did he think he was? He might be an expert in self-defense, but it didn't mean he could defeat him so easily.
Suoh didn't like being pushed like that by him. So he pushed him back, and soon both of them were pushing each other, till finally Idomu lost his temper, and he hit him right on his face. It was a hard one, and it was strong enough to make Suoh fell onto the floor.
Except Idomu, everyone else in the room was shocked. And it didn't end yet. Idomu didn't give Suoh a chance to recover and stand on his feet again. He rushed to the boy, and keyed him on the floor, while his fists were busy landing more smack on the face. Nokoru couldn't do anything to stop Idomu. He tried, but he was too exhausted, and he had power left to stop Idomu from beating Suoh again and again.
'No! Stop it! Idomu! Stop it!'
Akira came to help, but he was too not able to stop Idomu. He was pushed away, and bumped himself to the floor. It was a mess in the room. And Nagisa's cry made the situation even worse.
'Stop it, please.... Idomu, stop it! OK, I promise you I'll tell him. I'll tell him whatever you want me to tell him.' Nokoru shouted desperately. 'Please.... Don't hit him anymore.... I promise I'll tell him everything....'
Like a magic spell, Nokoru's words froze him. Somehow his words made Idomu realize their intention to come here in the first time. He was panting, and his face was sweating, but in some way he was satisfied he could have his revenge on that ninja he hated the most. It was worthwhile after all. Slowly he let go his grab on Suoh, and got onto his feet again, leaving the poor Suoh on the floor.
Nokoru tried to help Suoh back onto his feet again. He knew Suoh was very angry now. Never before some one dared enough to challenge him, or even defeated him. Now that Idomu could defeat him easily, it must have hurt his pride. And it was all because of him. Nokoru's heart was hurting than ever. How many times he should see his friends fighting because of him. How many times he had to see his friends' hearts hurt. It seemed it wouldn't end forever, unless he died. Yes.... Unless he died, and disappeared from this world. That would end everything.
'Suoh.... I'm sorry.... Everything is my fault. I shouldn't come here at the first place.'
Suoh remained silent. He was still angry to Idomu, his pride was hurt, and he couldn't divert his eyes from the man.
'Suoh, I-'
'Nokoru! Why are you here?' Suoh glared at him.
The blonde was startled. Never before Suoh would yell at him, and it almost made him in tears.
'I-'
'I thought we were agree not to see each other anymore. But why are you here?' He looked at Akira, still with anger in his eyes. 'Ijyuin? Why are you here also? You said you wished to meet Ohkawa Kaichou. Did you lie to me?'
'Takamura-senpai, I-'
'Suoh, it's not his fault. I'm the one who called him just now to come to my office. I-' Nokoru couldn't continue it. He was too scared to see Suoh. It seemed that everything he wanted to say would be wrong and useless. He wanted to get away, but of course, that would impossible for him to do so with Idomu standing behind him guarding the exit to escape. Now that he was here, might be he had to say what he had to say. There was no way out anymore. He had to do it.
//One more step... One more thing to do... Then I can rest in peace forever.//
He closed his eyes, thinking the best way to start all of this. He had to do this, no matter what it would be in the future, no matter he liked it or not, he had to do it. He took a deep breath, and sighed. Now it was time. He had to have courage, at least for one last time. Nokoru opened his blue eyes once more, and by the time he opened them, he was totally changed. He returned as the usual Imonoyama Nokoru. The confident and pleasant Imonoyama Nokoru, the glass mask he used to wear, and the mask he was about to wear to reveal the thing he had to do, before he died.
He smiled to Suoh. The smile he used to give him when he needed to get away from the paperwork. Ah... If only those moments could stay.... 'I come here to tell you something.'
His voice was so calm, and it made Idomu wandered where the 'terrified' Nokoru had gone. Nokoru's ability to transform himself had always amazed him, and he was never able to figure out how the hell he managed to do so. Nokoru looked at him, and Idomu didn't like the way he looked at him at all. Somehow he knew something wrong was going to happen, but whether he could prevent it still was a mystery even to him.
'Idomu-san, Akira, and...' He paused, and looked to the frightened girl next to Suoh. Frankly he hated to scare a girl, but he had no choice, he was forced to. 'Nagisa-jyou...' He smiled wider. 'Can you please leave me alone with Suoh here? I need to tell him something privately.'
The three of them were speechless. Idomu certainly disliked the idea leaving Nokoru with the ninja he hated the most without anyone around him, but then he looked at Akira who was staring at him signing to agree whatever Nokoru asked him to do.
He sighed. 'I understand, I'll do as your wish. We will be outside then waiting.' Idomu looked at Nokoru with negligence, but the blonde seemed to ignore it. He just smiled in return, thanking him to fulfill his order at the moment.
Soon the three of them started to leave the boardroom. Just before he closed the door, Idomu turned himself around to have the last look on his Nokoru. 'If anything happen, please call me, will you?'
'I will. Thank you.' Nokoru replied him, still with a smile on his angelic face.
Then the door was closed. Now, only the two of them in the room, and none of them were brave enough to start a conversation. They just stood on their place, and remained in their silence. Suoh looked confused. Yes, he was angry to Idomu, but yet he was curious what Nokoru was going to tell him. Finally, he took the courage to question him on the first place.
'What is it? I mean, what are going to tell me about?'
Nokoru's smile grew wider. 'I come just to say good-bye to you. I'm going away. Idomu's planning to return to Europe, and he'll take me with him. And we will never return here.'
'What? I don't understand. What are you trying to say actually?'
The blonde looked at him deeply. He hated to say those words, but he had no choice. His heart was breaking, but he had to hold on. He had to hold on till all of this was over, and at the end everything would be over. He came closer to the blue-hared boy, close enough till they were face to face. Nokoru could feel the deep breath of Suoh, he almost could hear his heartbeat, and he wished he could stay there, embraced him, and didn't let him go. But he had to go, and he couldn't take Suoh with him. He came closer till their bodies leaned each other. He leaned his chin over Suoh's high shoulders, and by his ears, the blonde whispered the words. The words he had to say.
'Good bye, Suoh.'
Soon after he said his words, Nokoru stepped backwards, still in his sweetest smile, leaving Suoh who looked terribly shocked.
'I'm leaving, and I will never come back here.'
//What?! How could you??//
'No. You can't do that. How about your responsibility in the Council?' //How about me?//
He shook his head. 'I'm sorry. I made my decision, and I won't change it.' He smiled. 'Please understand.'
'No! I don't understand, and I won't understand you! How could you do such a thing?!'
'Suoh.... I have to follow him.... I have to go with him...'
'And tell me why you have to follow him?'
'Because I-' Nokoru cut his own words. He didn't want to lie to Suoh, but he was forced to. To lie to him was the last thing he ever wanted. But he would leave sooner later, and it was the best thing if Suoh didn't have to know anything about it till the time had come.
'I love him, Suoh. He's the only one I have.'
Thunderclaps. Nokoru's last words were definitely hurt Suoh's feeling. How could he say that?
'Is that so?' Suoh tried to hold his anger from exploding. 'So your love to him is more important than anything else, even your obligation to the council?' //How about me?// He couldn't control his voice intonation any much longer. He began to raise his voice, and it made Nokoru shivered.
The poor boy's hands had turned cold now. They were freezing, and he couldn't stop them from trembling. He wanted to run away, or collapse that very second if it was possible. But he knew he had to hold on. He had to be fearless to face Suoh's rage. He was praying Suoh wouldn't sense his lie.
'Yes. I believe you get my point clearly there. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of everything.' He forced his smile.
'Nokoru!! Is that what you want me to hear? Is that what you want me to hear?'
'Yes.' Nokoru nodded his head, hoping Suoh wouldn't see him trembling.
'AHAHAHAHA....' Suoh couldn't control himself anymore. He was laughing out loud. There was a strange feeling growing inside of him. Part of him wanted to explode in anger, but the other part realized so well he wanted to laugh. Why? He didn't understand either, might be he just wanted to laugh at himself. He was laughing at his foolishness, or perhaps, insanity. How could he be foolish enough to believe all this time Nokoru would think he was precious for him? How could he believe that Nokoru love him actually? The fact that Nokoru would easily leave him, and disappear from his life made him so scared. What was he in Nokoru's eyes? Was it true he was only a bodyguard to him? Was it true he was worthless?
No! He refused to reveal the answer. Similarly, he refused to admit the fact that he was only a bodyguard to his Nokoru. He refused the truth that Idomu defeated him. He was distressed for sure. Heavily distressed. He wanted to scream out loud. The pain he had been suffering in his heart, which caused the illness in his mind day and night. He wanted to let it out once for all. For God's sake, he swore he almost hit the blonde on his face, if he didn't remind himself that he was an Imonoyama's heir. How could he say such a thing after all he had done for him? How could he love that goddamn Yudaiji instead of him? Had he forgotten all the things that Yudaiji'd done to him that nearly caused his death? It didn't make sense at all. Nokoru had to be insane if he still fell in love with that son-of- the-bitch. He said he was sick of everything. Did it mean he was sick of him too?
'Go away, Nokoru...' Suoh whispered in silence. His voice was filled by anger. 'Go away, and never show up in front of me again!!'
Nokoru gasped. Obviously he was shocked to hear that.
'Go away NOW!!! I swear I don't want to see you again FOREVER!!!'
It hurt! It really hurt! The blonde couldn't hold back his tears anymore. Never in his dream, Suoh would chase him away. He shouldn't cry actually, for he hoped Suoh would do that to him. But why he couldn't stop his tears from flowing down.... No! Stop crying! It was his own choice, so he had to bear it. It was his wish to have Suoh driving him away, so why he had to cry now.
'Suoh. I'm sor-' He was about to apologize, when Suoh's interruption cut his words. The ninja refused to hear any more words from him. He even refused to see Nokoru's face any second more. The next thing Nokoru knew, Suoh grasped his arm so tight, that he nearly screamed in pain, and dragged him towards the huge door of the boardroom.
'If you wanna leave, FINE then.' The blue-hared boy opened the door roughly, and as soon as the door cracked, he threw poor Nokoru out of the room, slamming his slim body against the wall across them. 'GO AWAY, NOKORU!!! And please never come back!!'
Nokoru was slammed to the wall in front of the boardroom with tears on his pale cheeks. His heart was hurt more than his body. But the worst was yet to come, before him, his three friends who were waiting for his return were stunned. Idomu was the first to react when he saw what just happened. Without wasting any second, he rushed towards the blonde with a horrified look on his face.
'Nokoru?! What happened?'
But Nokoru couldn't answer him. He was both terrified and shocked. Suoh was still standing by the door, glaring at him with his breath panting by anger. He was terribly mad. A ninja was supposed to stay calm in all situation that might happened, but the jealously and broken heart had driven him mad, and his rage was beyond of his control.
'Go away from me, Nokoru! I swear I don't want to see you again forever. You may leave to anywhere you like, and I don't give it a damn care. You're not my 'One' anymore. Do you hear that?! You are NOT my 'ONE' anymore!!! I don't care even if you DIE out there!!'
Suoh's last statement had almost struck him to death. But the blonde remained silent. He was too shock to respond it. He bit his lips with tears still flowing down like heavy rain. He wished he was able to kneel down in front of Suoh, and begged him for his forgiveness, but he knew he couldn't do that. Suoh had hated him for sure now, just as he expected. He should be contented now, but instead of being happy about it, he felt his heart broken to pieces, and it was a hell of pain.
Idomu didn't understand what had happened between the two of them. He was confused, and the scene laid before him right at the moment definitely not the one he ever anticipated. Supposed that ninja would be worry, and felt sorry for Nokoru... but what happened now? He threw Nokoru out of the room just like that? Just like garbage or something? Scolded him like he had been making a sin to him? This was wrong. It was not right for certain. What would he suppose to do now? Feeling angry? Oh, yes, he was. He was more than angry. That ninja shouldn't treated his Nokoru like that. Definitely not by the time Nokoru needed him the most. What kind of man he was anyway? Did he have a heart of stone? His fist were ready to give the ninja another hit, if that would be necessary to make him realize what was going on to Nokoru, he would willingly do that.
Being able to read what was in Idomu's mind, instantly the blonde grabbed Idomu's arm and shook his head. He was still not able to say any word, but his eyes signed the Yudaiji heir to cancel whatever he had in mind that moment. Slowly, Nokoru wiped away his tears, and put a weak smile on his pale face. It was painful for him to smile in this kind of situation, but he was after all an Imonoyama, wasn't he? It was obvious to Idomu that Nokoru tried to hide his true condition, but Nokoru was failed in maintaining his balance. He was so weak to stand properly on his feet that he nearly tripped over and fell with his face on the floor, if Idomu didn't aware of his condition. Immediately he grasped the boy's arm to steady him. The blonde looked at him, and smiled thankfully for the support.
With his last energy Nokoru explained to his worried friends. 'I've told Suoh whatever I need to tell him. Idomu, Akira...' Reluctantly he looked at the lady who was in tears as well. 'Nagisa-jyou... I'm sorry to make all of you worry.... I promise you I won't make any of you worry again.' He smiled wider. He could feel tears begin to sting his eyes again, but this time he would hold them back whatever happened.
He diverted his blue eyes to Suoh, his Suoh.... the person he loved the most on this world, and might be the person who hated him the most at the moment. 'Suoh.... I'm sorry I've disappointed you.... But I'm sure you'll forget me by...' Gently he loosened Idomu's grasp, and bowed his head to the ninja. 'Good-bye, Suoh.'
Silence. Not a single word was spoken, not even a single sound was heard in the area. Only the sound of tears dripping to the floor formed by the most beautiful sapphire eyes on the world. Nokoru wasn't able to hold back his tears as he wanted to. For he loved the man before his presence, and truly it hurt his feeling so much to say farewell to him. He didn't want to lose him, but at the same time he couldn't keep him. And he knew he could do nothing else than to fly away from the scene as soon as possible. He was about to step out from the place he was standing when Suoh's call stopped him from moving further.
'So.... That's all, isn't it? You just walk away from me, and that's mean it's all over, is that what you're thinking?' Rage remained in his voice.
Nokoru frowned. Gradually he looked at the ninja, and he smiled. 'I thought it was you who wanted me to go away....'
Suoh's face was reddened. He disliked the answer given by Nokoru that he rushed towards him. Akira couldn't stand it anymore. He was afraid his senpai would harm his Kaichou that he immediately approached the blonde and stood before him in order to protect him. At least, he had to do something.
'Move away, Ijyuin.' Suoh's firm voice commanded the black-hared who was stubbornly disobeying him.
'Takamura-senpai... Please.... I don't want anything worse to happen again...' The 'genki' look that used to remain on Akira's face had disappeared, replaced by a determined glare. Akira liked Suoh very much; in fact he adored him so much. Being with him most of his lifetime, he learned many things from him. But still he couldn't understand why Takamura-senpai could ever do that to Kaichou, knowing Kaichou had suffered a lot. He couldn't understand why he was so rude to him.
'Akira.... It's alright. Thank you. I'll be fine. Please move away.' A soft voice almost like a whisper astonished him. He turned around to see the owner of the voice.
'But Kaichou-'
'I believe Suoh has something to say to me. It's alright.' Nokoru touched his shoulder gently.
Halfhearted the black-hared boy stepped away leaving both of the men face to face.
'Before you leave, I just want to tell you something.'
Nokoru smiled. 'What is it, Suoh?'
The ninja turned around, and Nagisa found herself surprised as the blue- hared man was heading to her. He took the girl's shaking hands in his, and kissed them. Then slowly he looked back at Nokoru who was stunned on his place.
'I just want to tell you that I've found my new 'One'. The 'One' I should protect, and the 'One' who will be my destiny.' Suoh smiled as he looked back to Nagisa again. 'Nagisa-san, I'm sorry, for all this time, I was so fool I didn't realize it. I should've known you're the 'One' for me. All this time, you're there to comfort me, to listen to me, and you're the one who understand me the most. I'm sorry being so blind all this time.'
Nagisa gasped. She was speechless. But at the same time, she was confused how to respond. Part of her was so happy to hear the words from her love, Suoh. Finally, Suoh realized how her feeling to him all this time. But part of her was tearing apart as well, as she could almost feel how hurt Nokoru-sama's feeling at the moment.
'Suoh-san... I....' She looked at the blonde worriedly. But it seemed there was no reaction at all from him, as if the man had turned himself into statue.
'From now on, Nagisa-san is my 'One', and I should protect her with all my life.' Suoh declared his swear. He looked at the stunned blonde again. 'Nokoru... sama.... I hope you're happy now. You may leave whenever you like. I won't be your burden anymore. I know you're sick of me, but I promise you since this moment, I won't follow you around anymore. You can do whatever you want to do, you are free to do whatever you like to do, and I won't be there to stop you anymore.' He paused. There was silence in the area. 'Good-bye, Nokoru... sama...'
Nokoru was speechless. He blinked his eyes time and again to prevent his tears to form again. Deep in his heart he wished all of this were just a dream. That he would wake in the morning time laughing at himself realizing it was only a dream. But the hurt in heart that growing inside made him have to accept that it was not a dream. Suoh finally had abandoned him, and in a sudden he lost his reason to stay alive now. He had lost his reason to keep on living even for one more day on this world by the moment Suoh declared his new 'One'. He had nothing now. Nothing at all.
He had to leave then. He had done what he should do. Suoh had found himself another 'One' replacing him, so what was the point he stayed there? He should be relieved right at the moment, knowing the fact he could die in peace. And there was nothing more he could say except a farewell.
'I'm glad you've decided it...' He smiled. 'Sayounara, Suoh...' And that was all he had to say. Soon after he completed his words, he ran away leaving his friends behind listening to his fading footsteps in the alley. He had to disappear. Then silence let itself crept among them again.
'I don't understand....' Akira started to talk, dismissing the silence among them. 'Takamura-senpai.... I don't understand you.... Why... I mean how could you do that?' It was obvious Akira blamed Suoh for what happened.
'Ijyuin, I just-' Suoh realized how bad he was in everyone's eyes, but he himself was terribly hurt. There was no use trying to explain what just happened to every body here now. Even if there was, he didn't know how anyway.
Akira shook his head. He refused to allow any explanation Suoh was about to give. He refused to hear any word Suoh was about to say. The boy stepped back slowly, and without sparing a glance to Suoh, he turned away, and ran after Nokoru. He knew he might not be able to comfort his Kaichou, but at least he would be beside him, and support him, yes... it might be the best he could do to Kaichou...
Again the alley was only filled by the fading footstep, leaving the three of them who seemed to be drowned in an eternal silence... Idomu shook his head. He couldn't stop himself from thinking how the hell Takamura could ever do such a thing to Nokoru. He understood if Takamura hated him, and somehow he managed to accept if the ninja wanted to have a revenge on him, but he couldn't accept the way the ninja treated Nokoru. How could he possibly do that? How could he possibly chase Nokoru away by the time he needed him the most? By the time he was near to his own grave? How could he didn't care of Nokoru, instead he found himself another 'One', and declared it to everyone here? Nokoru loved him so much. He loved him till his death.
Suoh's head was hurting him. Enough of the trouble for the day.... He slowly sighted at Nagisa who was looking back at him in a great distress. She was the 'One' for him now, and perhaps would last forever. Nagisa must have been worrying about him. He forced himself to give the girl a smile to comfort her.
'Nagisa-san, I'm sorry I've troubled you.... It's getting late.... Let me escort you till your home....' Suoh came towards her, offering a hand to the girl.
Nagisa was drowned in confusion. 'Suoh-san, I...'
'TAKAMURA SUOH!!!' Idomu yelled his name.
A loud scream addressed his name. Suoh diverted his look to the man who was addressing him. Clearly he disliked the way his name called. Somehow he knew a new confrontation between him and that Yudaiji heir was about to enter a new chapter.
'I HATE YOU!!!' Idomu's scream was louder than ever, it even filled the entire empty alley. In a glance, he rushed towards the ninja with his fist ready to smack the man as hard as he could. But unfortunately Suoh had prepared himself to deal with the Yudaiji heir. In just a second he was able to avoid Idomu's sudden attack, and moreover, he was able to settle some scores on Yudaiji's body. Though it was painful, Yudaiji refused to give up. He didn't stop assaulting the ninja, till finally Suoh grasped his collar, slammed him against the wall, and keyed him up.
'Will you stay calm NOW??!!' Suoh's question sounded more like a command to him, a command he refused to obey even if he had to die.
'NO, I WON'T!!!' Idomu struggled his best to free himself from Suoh's grasp. But of course, Suoh was much more stronger than he was. His effort fruited nothing in conclusion.
'God damn it, Yudaiji!!! Enough of the trouble for the day!!! I don't want to fight you anymore!!! It's OVER, YOU HEAR ME??!!!'
'NO!!!! It is not OVER till I get you for this....'
'You're so stubborn, aren't you? Don't you realize you won't be able to beat me?'
'I'd rather have a head of stone, compared to you who have a heart of stone!!! How could you treated Nokoru like that?!! What kind of a friend are you??!!!'
Suoh's face was reddened as ever. He was offended by Idomu's words. 'Do you think I want to do that?? He forced me to. And thanks to you who make it happen!!!'
'What....' Idomu stopped his struggle. Suoh's words had stunned him. He didn't understand what the ninja meant. 'What the hell are you talking about??'
Suoh released his grasp, and pushed the man away from him. He turned away, intending to leave Yudaiji alone. He didn't pay a damn care what would happen between Yudaiji and Nokoru anymore. Imonoyama Nokoru was not his 'One' anymore, he was free to choose whomever he wanted to be with, and it was definitely not his responsibility to look after him anymore. He fixed his coat a little to make sure his appearance better, and he returned to Nagisa who was speechless to see both men were fighting each other.
'Come, Nagisa-san.... I'll take you home...' Suoh softened his voice. Now Nagisa was the only matter in his life. He had to protect his 'One' now, and this time he would never fail again.
'Wait!!' Idomu rushed to him, and grabbed the ninja preventing him to go away. 'Wait!! Don't go!!! Tell me what do you mean just now??'
'Nothing.' The ninja answered coldly. 'I just want to congratulate you. Finally, you've won Nokoru's heart.' He smirked. 'Congratulations!! He loves you.... You should be happy now....'
'WHAT??!!!' Idomu frowned. Now he began to understand the reason why Suoh acted that way. It was impossible even for him to logic why the ninja acted that way to the 'One' he loved the most. He wouldn't ever do that if not.... If not....
But there was no time to argue again about it. He had to find out the truth. 'Tell me.... What did he tell you?! What the hell Nokoru told you?!'
Suoh began to feel confused. Idomu changed his manner so soon. 'Nothing.' He answered. Paused. 'He said he would leave with you to Europe. That's what you want him to tell me, isn't it?' Suoh looked at him questioningly. From the way Idomu's acted, he could sense something was out of place, but he couldn't figure out what.
Idomu couldn't believe it. He lied to him. Nokoru lied to the ninja. He didn't tell him about the truth. Suddenly he remembered what Nokoru told him earlier when he got out from the room.
//'I've told Suoh whatever I need to tell him.//
So that was Nokoru told him about.... Things he needed to tell Takamura were things that make the ninja left him for someone else. How could he.... How could he be so stupid? He was so foolish.... He sacrificed everything he had, and now... he chose to suffer alone?? This couldn't be happening. Suoh should know the truth; he got to no matter what.
Observing Idomu stunned without any word from him made Suoh curious even more. He couldn't help himself not to ask what was going on. 'Idomu? Is there something wrong?'
But he got no answer from the Yudaiji heir. Idomu was frowned and remained in silence.
'Idomu? Are you alright?' He got closer to the man, and placed his hand on the man's shoulder, trying to make the man conscious of his presence there.
'He lies....' Idomu whispered without looking to the ninja's golden eyes.
'What?' Suoh wasn't sure he heard what Idomu had just said. 'I-'
'Don't you hear me?' In a sudden, he turned his eyes to meet the golden eyes before him, and with a glare he repeated himself. 'He lied!! Nokoru lied to you!!'
'What? What do you mean?' Suoh was getting more confused.
'He lied!! He's not going anywhere. I-' Idomu found himself hard to breathe, but he had to. He couldn't stop here. He had to tell the ninja everything he knew about Nokoru. Before everything was too late. 'I'm going to return to Europe, but he's not coming with me. He's not going anywhere.'
'But...' Paused. 'But I don't understand. Why must he lie to me?' Suoh asked in return.
'Because he-' It was hard for Idomu to say the word. 'Don't you get it? He wants you to forget him.'
'I don't understand... But why?' Suoh was getting inpatient.
'He is....' Paused. 'He is.... dying.'
Suoh was struck. There was a horrible silence among them. Nagisa gasped. The fact Idomu just told them was beyond anyone's expectation.
'No! You lie to me!! He's not... Nokoru is just fine. It's impossible!!! He's just fine!' Suoh refused to believe Idomu's word.
'Listen!!! I'm telling you the truth. He's dying, and he doesn't want anyone to know about it, especially YOU!!!'
'NO!! NO!! You lie!! He's not dying!'
'Listen to me, GODDAMNIT!' Idomu lost his patient for sure now. How come it was so hard to make him understand that he was telling the truth? He grasped Suoh's collar, and forced the man to be face-to-face with him. 'You have no choice. You have to believe me. He's dying.'
'No... Impossible.... He can't be.... You LIE to me!!!
'Why should I lie to you anyway?! It brings me no use!!' Idomu snapped him, hoping he would get back to his consciousness.
Suoh was silent. He was speechless. Perhaps, Idomu was really telling the truth. If he thought about it time and again, yes... it all made sense. Why Nokoru refused him, why he tried to avoid him, why he always denied his feelings, and why he didn't want him to be beside him anymore. It all made sense. Nokoru cared about him, he loved him the most, and he wouldn't let anyone or anything hurt the one he loved the most, even if that meant he had to sacrifice his own happiness. Even if that meant he had to lie to everyone, including to himself. How could he be so foolish? How could he be so blind? He should have known about it. He should have known Nokoru was lying to him. What kind of friend he was then? He had abandoned him, he misunderstood him, and to his greatest fear, he had hurt him so badly.
Suoh was in a great frustration at the moment. He was so afraid to face anyone now, having known the truth. He was so ashamed to Idomu, to Nagisa, and most of all, to Nokoru. How could he hurt the most kindhearted person on Earth who didn't care of his own happiness? How could he ever repay him? He was so ashamed to himself. How could he proudly claim himself as the great Takamura heir if now he had disappointed everyone, especially his truly 'One'? He failed him. It was never him who protect his One's happiness, it was his One who always protected his happiness. It was always the other way around. And his fear had brought him into tears. He was a failure. He couldn't stop his crying, he was failed as a warrior. The fact he hurt Nokoru's heart was unbearable.
'Stop taking a pity on yourself!!' Idomu slammed him against the wall again. 'Feeling sorry for yourself won't do any good now!!' He yelled at the ninja. 'Go and see Nokoru now!!! Apologize to him, before it's too late to do so.'
Suoh stunned. Idomu had brought him back into his consciousness. Yes. He had to see Nokoru now. He had to ask for his forgiveness, even if he had to kneel and beg him for it.
But his reflection was gone at once as he heard footsteps approached them in hurried. It was obvious he was running all the way to get here.... How surprised they were when they recognized the silhouette that had been running towards them turned out to be Akira. He was exhausted, and needed some time to catch up with his normal pulse again...
'Takamura-senpai.... Yudaiji-san.... Kaichou... Kaichou...' Panting. 'He...'
When he heard Nokoru was mentioned, instantly Idomu loosened his grasp on Suoh's collar, and rushed towards the breathless Akira. He couldn't help not to worry every time he heard about Nokoru, and he could tell from the way Akira's look at the moment, Nokoru had to be in trouble now.
'What happen to Nokoru?!' He shook the black-hared boy's body, trying to get immediate information about the blonde.
'Kaichou...' Akira fixed his breath. 'He needs help.'
'WHAT DID YOU SAY?!'
'He.... When I ran after him, I found him coughing badly on the stairs, and... and... there was blood coming out from his mouth.... I ask him to wait while I seek for help...' Akira's eyes were terrified. 'You have to help him.... He's on the second floor...'
Suoh's heart seemed to leap out from its place when he heard it. Without asking any further question, he ran to wherever Nokoru was by that moment. He had to be there on time. He had to help him. Idomu and Akira were right behind him. They were all in a great hurry as if the time wouldn't spare them any chance again.
Suoh was panic. The three of them were in a great panic.
//This is not happening... it can't be happening...//
He ran faster. He had to get there on time. Only one name mattered to him now.... Nokoru.
//Wait for me... Nokoru! Wait for me!!//
He forgot the two men behind him trying to keep up with him. He didn't pay attention to his surroundings now, in his mind he only thought about his 'Nokoru', and how he could get there to help him at once.
//Nokoru, I'm coming!! Wait for me!!//
***
To be continued –
Author's note: When I wrote this fic, Suoh char really pissed me off, and there were times I was crying all by myself. It's odd, isn't it? Anyway... Hope Suoh's fans out there don't hate me for making him such a villain... hehehehe...
Kin'ni darling.... Beta read for me, please! Emergency!
R&R, please, please, please...
