12 . 12 . 08

Disclaimer: I stole the name 'Alton' from Alton Brown, off of Good Eats. It's an interesting show, and he has the best name.


Any sensible girl would scream if she found a frog in her saddlebag. Gloria was many other things if not sensible, and one of those other things she happened to be was shrewd – too shrewd and observant to be a proper lady. She instantly recognized the frog she'd spoken to earlier, and nestled next to it was a smaller frog, more delicately fern-green. Without a word, she slipped them both into the inside pocket of her riding cloak.

"I'll see you both tomorrow!" Gloria called, waving to Jared and Alexis as they rode on toward Greyson estate.

They waved back at her, and she then ducked into the house and sneaked up to her room. She delicately tip-toed past the closed parlor door, holding her breath and hoping her mother wouldn't hear the creaking floorboard. She wanted to go upstairs and interrogate her captives before her pocket was too thoroughly slimed.

"Dinner is at half-past six, Miss Gloria," the butler, Alton, said to her.

She hushed him in a flurry of panic and listened to hear if her mother had gotten up from her chair in the parlor. Faint bits of conversation leaked under the door; her parents were discussing the missing children again.

"Thank you," she whispered to Alton, who was smiling at the girl's antics. "What time is it?"

"Six o'clock, miss," Alton said in a low voice.

"Consternation," she whispered, looking behind her to be sure her mother wasn't going to appear.

She hastily ghosted up the steps and into her room. She bolted the door securely behind her, then turned her pockets out on the hardwood floor.

"What do you want, then?" Gloria asked, hands on her hips. "Have you come to apologize for your rude remark?" She glanced at the other frog who looked unperturbed. "And who is this? Is this is your talking frog friend?"

"You deserved that title for your coarse dress and speech," the frog said imperiously. "This frog is my assistant."

"You have a little frog servant to do your bidding?" Gloria laughed. "How cute. It's almost like you really think you're the prince."

Gloria knew she was goading him, but she couldn't help it. She loved seeing him puff up in indignation.

"I am the prince. Now, I order you to take me home."

Gloria almost choked on the irony of the situation. Before she could answer, someone knocked on the door.

"Miss Gloria, it's time to get dressed for dinner," Gloria's maid, Jennifer, said.

"Ah!"

Gloria stifled a yelp and snatched the two frogs off the floor. She looked around her room wildly for a moment, ("Put me down, peasant!") then overturned a bowl and shoved the two frogs underneath it.

"What right has she to throw me about like this?" Thomas asked Wyn in a low voice.

"She's just trying to keep you out of sight," Wyn said, changing back into her fairy form. "Whew. I don't like being a frog."

"Neither do I!" Thomas exclaimed, and he heard a momentary pause in the wordless murmur outside the bowl.

"Keep your voice down, froggie," Wyn said, tapping him on the head. "You're going to cause mass hysteria."

"Why? I'm the prince." An idea occurred to him as he heard the maid ask Gloria what dress she wanted to wear. "The maid might be willing to help me!"

He drew breath to shout, but the next thing he knew, there was a tightening around his throat and he couldn't expel any air. He tried to cough, but he couldn't even do that.

"Froggie, you don't have a brain," Wyn informed him. With a small gesture, he could breathe again. "Don't shout for help. Gloria is your best shot at the moment. Besides, the maid wouldn't know where it was coming from, anyway. She'd probably send someone outside."

"You have a point," Thomas said grudgingly.

They waited through dinner without talking. Thomas was brooding, but Wyn hummed a song Thomas had never heard. Finally, they heard the door opening, and moment later the bowl was lifted off of them.

"It's about time," Thomas said nastily.

"You're in no position to be rude," Gloria said, raising an eyebrow at him infuriatingly. "Unless you answer my questions, I'll dump you and your assistant outside my chamber door. If the maids don't squash you, you'll be kicked out the back door into the cold, and the barn cats will get you."

The threat, coupled with Gloria's no-nonsense tone, actually set Thomas back a pace. He carefully considered his words, something he was unaccustomed to doing. His lack of experience made him slower. Wyn was silent next to him, waiting for an answer.

"I... will answer your questions," he said in a low voice, and he suddenly felt like crying.

He was hungry, tired, lost, no one was being nice to him, and, by the crown, he was thirsty!

"If I may," he said quickly, "may Wyn and I have some water?"

It left a bad taste in his mouth to treat an impudent peasant with such cordiality, but the thirst was beginning to make his thoughts rather — Water! — disjointed.

"Well, since you're being so polite, I suppose I could do that," Gloria said with evident surprise. "Wyn, is it? So you're a girl, then?"

The other frog nodded and hopped onto Gloria's outstretched hand. Gloria smiled and poured some water leftover from that morning into the bowl. Thomas hopped in, splashing Wyn and Gloria both. Wyn slipped in with much more grace.

"Thank you," Thomas said shortly.

He wasn't used to using manners unless he was trying to get something, and he was starting to get aggravated at his helpless position.

"What questions have you, peasant?"

"Firstly," Gloria said, bristling anew, "I am not a peasant. I am a lady. You're the lowlier of two of us, being a frog."

"I am Prince Thomas!" he protested angrily.

"I don't care whether you're the king himself or a stableboy. Right now, you're a frog, and you're going to get eaten or stepped on if you don't remember that."

They glared at each other for a few moments before she broke the silence again.

"Okay, as for my questions, how did you come to be a frog in the first place?"

Thomas opened his mouth to speak, but found he couldn't speak. He glared at Wyn, but she shook her head innocently. He tried again, but again he couldn't speak. He could still breathe, though, unlike earlier when Wyn was keeping him from shouting.

"I don't think I can say," Thomas said in frustration.

"Magic spell," Gloria said knowledgeably, though she knew nothing of magic other than what she'd heard in not-necessarily-accurate stories. "Well, what do you plan to do now?"

She picked up the bowl and set it down on her night table before sitting on the edge of her bed and tilting her head slightly. The frogs looked pretty cute floating around in the shallow water. She smiled a little.

"Get back to the palace, of course," Thomas said impatiently.

"Then what? You're a frog, remember? The maids there will set the cats on you as quickly as ours will."

"Then—then I'll—" Thomas faltered. He hadn't thought that far ahead. "Then I'll bring in the magic workers and have them reverse the spell!" he declared triumphantly.

"You're going to have to convince someone that you're the prince before they'll listen to you," Gloria said practically.

Thomas had had quite enough of this forward girl who second-guessed everything he said.

"Someone will listen to me," he said hotly.

"Before or after they scream?" Gloria shot back.

"I'm the prince!"

"Is that your answer to everything?" Gloria said, throwing her hands up in frustration. "One day you're going to learn that being the prince doesn't mean that life is always perfect for you, especially when you're a frog."

Thomas maintained a frosty silence. Gloria took a deep breath.

"Anyway," she said softly, not wishing to upset him more than necessary.

Someone was going to come knocking on her door with they got too loud, and she couldn't very well say she was having a shouting match with herself.

"Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that no one is going to listen to you at the palace. Maybe—"

"Are you telling me I'll never be turned back into a human?" Thomas said narrowing his eyes. "To get used to life as a frog? Because I can assure you that continuing my existence as a frog is not something I'm willing to resign myself to."

"No, I was going to say that maybe you could find a sorceress or fairy in the wood," Gloria said with annoyance at his interruption. "They could help you same as those at the palace, I should think, and they might be more willing to listen."

"I was wondering when you were going to think of that, clever Lady," Wyn said, making them both jump.

They'd all but forgotten she was there. The frog was gone, replaced by a delicate green fairy with translucent wings. She was barefooted and sitting on the edge of the bowl, smiling. Gloria tried to conceal her surprise as Thomas spoke.

"Wyn, you're a fairy," he said, looking at Wyn with new eyes.

"I am," she agreed, dabbling her toes in the water.

Thomas stared at her as if expecting something to happen. Gloria further observed the fairy during the pause. She'd never seen one before and she was fascinated. Her wings were like a dragonfly's, narrow and pearly with green and blue veins. Her skin and hair were both green, and her eyes were a shining emerald. She was tiny and perfect, like a statue of opaque glass.

"Change me back!" Thomas finally said, startling Gloria.

"Is that any way to talk to the fairy who might be able to make you human again, froggie?" Wyn said playfully.

He considered his words again, liking it less than before.

"Please change me back," he said, tight-lipped.

"Very well," Wyn said cheerfully, putting a tiny, fragile hand on the side of his face and staring deeply into his eyes.

Three tight seconds passed, and neither of them moved as Gloria looked on with interest. Suddenly, Wyn laughed and fell backward into the water with a graceful plop.

"What is so funny?" Thomas demanded.

The sage-green fairy was laughing so hard that she inhaled a mouthful of water and began to choke. Gloria, alarmed, fished the fairy out of the water and began to lightly tap her back with a finger until she regained her breath.

"Are you alright?" Gloria asked the still chuckling fairy.

"What are you laughing at?" Thomas snapped, thoroughly out of temper with the entire situation.

He felt like big green jewels were boring into his soul, and he didn't like it.

"Your—the spell," Wyn managed, finally getting control of her giggles. "I can't unravel it. Whoever cast the spell cast their knots tightly."

"I fail to see the humor in that observation," Thomas said sourly.

"That's not all," Wyn assured him, and a giggle leaked out with her next words. "To break the spell, you have to be—oh, heehee—you have to convince a maiden to kiss you!"

"That won't be hard," Thomas said confidently, a bit of a smug smile creeping onto his face. "My charms have earned me kisses before."

"You also weren't green before," Gloria said, eye twinkling in merriment when she imagined Thomas hopping after Helen demanding a kiss.

"My lady, would you kiss me?"

Gloria blinked four times in quick succession.

"What?" she said, wrinkling her nose.

"I asked you if you would kiss me, please," Thomas said humbly.

"Ha! Hahaha—!"

She slapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the loud noise, but she ended up snorting which sent Wyn into gales of laughter all over again. Gloria then lost her composure entirely.

"My lady, are you alright?" a muffled voice from the other side of the door asked.

"Just fine, Gabby," Gloria called out, her voice wobbling a bit with restrained laughter.

"Must be that book," Gabby muttered, and continued down the hall.

"Would you care to tell me what proves so amusing now?" Thomas said with admirable patience.

"That you think—haha!—I'm going to kiss you," Gloria laughed, "just because you—heehee—turned on the charm now! No, Thomas, or whoever you are. I'm not going to kiss you. I think a few months of being a frog will do you a world of good."

"You're quite wise, my lady," Wyn said, lighting on Gloria's shoulder and tugging a lock of hair affectionately. "I like you."

"That makes one of us," Thomas said, moody again, now that it was clear he wasn't getting a kiss from her. "I don't suppose you'd kiss me, Wyn?"

"I agree with the lady," Wyn said, crossing her arms and grinning sympathetically at him. "You need some time as a frog to knock you back a few paces.

Thomas cut such a dejected figure, making ripples in the water with his frog toes, that Gloria began to feel a bit sorry for him.

"Chin up, Thomas," Gloria said, resting her chin on her palm. "Being a frog isn't so bad."

"You think I'm going to stay as a frog?" Thomas said. "I'm going to find a girl to kiss me. Maybe that friend of yours isn't such a little girl."

"Excuse me, I'm not a little girl," Gloria said, "and even using that as an insult is immature. Stay away from my friend, frog."

"Fine, I don't need her anyway."

"Fine."

"And when I get back to the palace, I'll make sure your family is never invited to another ball."

"Ooh, I'm so scared," she said with a mock gasp. "I'll never have to look at your ugly face again."

Thomas didn't reply, and neither of them said a word for the rest of the night. Thomas stayed in the water to sleep, but Wyn lighted happily in the flower arrangement on Gloria's desk. She was gone when Helen ran through the door the next morning in tears.


Heh. I love writing them bickering. It's too much fun.

Mazkeraide: Whoops. --looks abashed-- Thanks for noticing that; you have a shout-out now. Made of ridiculous, indeed. Ridiculous, and arrogant, and just plain annoying. Ugh. Ah, that makes sense. Wyn is a vampirate, so she hitches a ride to the nearest rich person's house. Clever.

Bingo7: I sort of agree with you. But, she's also been born and bred to be a lady, even if she's not altogether fond of the idea all of the time. Aren't they adorable? Teehee.

Jmskitten04: Wyn is the best! --chuckle--

Forever Daydreaming: Heh, I hope Gloria wouldn't marry a frog. That would be... odd. --laugh-- Thomas has a lot to learn.

bellathedisenchanted: Yay! Oh, don't be jumpy. I reply to everyone. --smile-- You feel sorry for Thomas? You're a wonderful person. --laugh-- I'm not sure Alexis would really be jealous; she doesn't seem the type, really.

EVA: Well, I'm glad I'm not boring you! Oh, and someone noticed that Soleil was missing. Well. --secretive smile-- I promise I haven't forgotten about her. You'll see her again. Jared and Alexis are too cute. I think Jared might like her more at this point, but she does like him. However, she was very excited and distracted at the time, so she didn't notice what she was doing right away; she just sort of reacted. And embarrassed Jared. --chuckle-- Gloria's sweet too. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Darth Chocolate: His manners will get better... in time. Heh.

Reviewers get a piece of shortbread with strawberry jam on top!