twelve

Emma smiles when she enters her bedroom. She can hear Elsa, Alistair, and Henry all talking over one another from her bathroom, and as soon as she walks that way, she discovers her son sitting on the counter with his clothes stripped off.

Alistair has a washcloth in his hand and Elsa has a frantic look on her face, as well as a purple handprint on her face.

"Mommy!" Henry chirps when he sees her.

Emma laughs when her brother spins on his heel to face her. Elsa, with her frizzy hair standing on its ends, and eyes wide, holds her hands up. She's covered in paint, it turns out.

"Mommy, you're here," Elsa sighs. "Good. We were painting and things went awry."

"You could say that," Alistair says. He has a few splotches of paint on his face too, and he takes a heavy breath. "Help us out sis?"

Emma steps into the room and stands in front of Henry, who grins up at her with his eyes squinted. "Baby Bug, did you have fun painting?"

"Yes," Henry says before he begins to explain what he painted. She cleans the paint off of him and then settles him on her hip to carry him out into her bedroom to redress him.

By the time he's back in his clothes, he wants to play with his Uncle Alistair, so Emma hands him off to the still-stained prince and the two go running around her room while Emma turns to Elsa.

"So?" Elsa wonders, a wry smile on her lips. "What happened? Why are you all smiles?"

Emma gives Elsa a look. She goes into her closet to find Elsa a new shirt to wear instead of the one with paint on it. Elsa gladly changes into it in an instant, hiding in Emma's closet while Emma tidies up the floor of her bedroom.

"I went to talk to Killian," Emma says to Elsa through the door. "We agreed it's time for us to be friends."

Elsa gasps and pokes her head around the door. "Really?"

She retreats for a moment and then opens the door again, her eyes wide as she steps toward Emma.

"Emma, this is the best news," Elsa states.

Emma shrugs, laughing a little to herself. She settles one of Henry's toys onto her bed and sits on the edge.

"Henry!" Alistair grunts from the other room.

Her son's giggles echo around the walls and Emma glances over in time to catch a glimpse of a winded Alistair chasing her little boy down.

"I just…" Emma turns to Elsa. "I decided I couldn't keep pushing him away. We're both going through a lot right now, and losing him isn't one of the things I want to cope with, even if he's been out of my life for a long time already."

Elsa smiles lopsidedly and tilts her head onto her shoulder. "Well, I'm proud of you. And happy. It's been awhile since I've seen you smile like that."

Emma closes her eyes on a laugh through her nose and shakes her head. "We're just friends."

"Friends who dated," Elsa reminds her as she has a seat beside Emma.

Emma rolls her eyes. "Elsa just because we dated once doesn't mean we will again."

"Yes, I know, but it just seems to me like a sign. You're back here, together, single, in time to witness your brother get married. Can you think of anything more romantic?"

Emma gives her friend a hard look. "Els, we barely talked earlier. I don't think we know… it's weird."

Elsa hums thoughtfully. "Maybe you just need to talk. It's been a long time since you've had a normal, friendly conversation. Think about it- you broke up, then he called and you fought. There hasn't been a lot of kindness between you since then either."

Emma's gut twists and she nods. "Yeah."

"I think you should probably clear the air about your breakup." Elsa says. "Otherwise it'll always bother you."

Emma grimaces at Elsa. "It was-"

Henry comes running into the room and giggles as he stands in front of her. He settles his hands on her knees and she leans forward to lift him into her arms.

As Emma admires her son, she thinks, not for the first time, that her first priority is to make sure Henry has the best life she can give him.

Emma also knows that she'd protect him until her heart stopped beating, so she can't allow a relationship to inform her decisions or to bring any hurt into her life or into Henry's. She has to be careful where it comes to Killian, because Henry already likes him.

"Mama, can we see ducks?" Henry wonders.

Emma laughs. She reaches up to brush back his hair. "I guess so. Do you want to say bye to Auntie Elsa and Uncle Alistair first? Say thanks for watching me!"

Henry does his best to mimic her words, failing only slightly, and it makes all three of the adults laugh at his sweet voice.

Alistair comes into her bedroom and plants a kiss onto Henry's head. "You're welcome, Henry. I love you, bud."

Emma's heart swells at her youngest brother's words and she squeezes her son a little bit tighter because of them. She hopes he feels just as loved as he is.

/

When Killian gets off of work, he immediately goes to shower in his bedroom before he heads on a walk outside. He finds himself standing at the shore again, staring at the ripples in the water while birds quack and chatter.

He's felt lighter than he has in months all afternoon, since Emma came and spent a few minutes of time just being with him. Finally, he feels as if he can take a step forward and try to find a way out of his pit of misery and heartache. Maybe, he thinks, he can find it with Emma.

Obviously their relationship isn't about to plunge into a romance right now. He doesn't feel that ache in his chest that he had years ago when they'd been together, and he's still trying to get over what happened with his ex.

Perhaps he'll spend the rest of his days serving Emma instead of searching for a happy ending anywhere else. Emma is the one thing that feels right, finally, in his spinning, wild world.

"Mama!" a little voice rips him from his thoughts. "Lookit the ducks!"

Henry's giggles bring a light pang to his chest and he turns to see Emma holding Henry's hand as the little boy drags her quickly down the path toward him.

She laughs to herself and then looks up at him. Butterflies tickle his belly and he hesitates as he stands where he does. Henry seems to want nothing more than to talk to him, already babbling excitedly before he lands before Killian.

He drops down to be at eye-level with the toddler and Henry grins at him.

"Hello, Henry," Killian says warmly. "It's good to see you."

"Killy, boat?"

Killian holds his mouth open and looks up at Emma, who just laughs. "Bug, I thought you wanted to feed the ducks."

Henry scrunches up his nose and grabs for Killian's hand.

"Please?" he pleads, though the word sounds adorable in his little voice.

Killian smiles up at Emma and rises to his feet with Henry still holding onto his hand. "Em, you've raised a very polite little lad."

Emma rolls her eyes. "I don't think he's being polite. He's being kind of pushy."

"Hm," Killian narrows his eyes at her playfully. "I wonder where he gets that from."

Emma gasps and shoves at him, causing him to laugh as he walks Henry toward one of the ships bobbing in the lake.

"There's a canal," Killian explains to Emma, even though she didn't ask any questions. "It leads out to the ocean a couple of miles west from here."

Emma hums in understanding. She stands with her hands hanging by her sides, walking behind Henry until she decides to come along side her son.

"Well, this is it," Killian says when they reach The Jewel. "What do you think of my ship, Henry?"

Henry gasps dramatically and bounces up on his toes as he stares at the ship. "Pretty. Like Mommy!"

Killian laughs and Emma blushes just slightly.

"Aye," Killian agrees delicately. "She's very pretty." He stares at his ship for a few moments and then down at the little boy. "Would you like to come aboard?"

"Yes!"

Both he and Emma work together to make sure Henry climbs the ramp without falling over and once Henry stands on the deck of the ship, he keeps staring up at the masts.

He hasn't let go of Killian's hand, which is oddly comforting to him. Emma is just as speechless as her son is.

Henry detaches himself from Killian and goes to Emma, requesting to be lifted up, and she complies with him, smiling softly as they speak in dulled tones.

It's then that he realizes that they need to talk, for real. They had a little bit of conversation earlier today, but things between them are still bumpy and new. He's missed a lot and he wants to catch up to now so it doesn't feel like he's playing a game of standing on the outside looking in.

/

Despite being incredibly swamped with wedding planning, Leo asks if they can have a family night in the game room. No significant others, no friends, just their core family.

Well, and Killian. He's always been family anyway, and Leopold's sympathy toward him matches everyone else's. They don't want him to go to bed alone, feeling as if he doesn't have a place in this castle.

So, they're sitting on the floor, wearing jeans and tee shirts, a cartoon on low in the background for Henry, who sits on Emma's lap while he munches on crackers.

They're playing Uno and Killian's winning.

He wears a triumphant grin on his face and his laughter is low and warm. Sometimes she looks up at him and meets his gaze, bright and content. She wonders if he feels like he's home yet- if their conversation on the dock has changed his perspective on how comfortable he can be here.

"Killy," Henry says, wiggling out of Emma's grasp and crawling over to him.

"Henry," Killian laughs, grunting when the boy plops himself down into his lap.

Emma giggles and hits herself in the face with her cards.

Henry grins up at Killian with a happy look on his face. Killian reciprocates and reaches in to pinch Henry's side until he keels over with deliriously happy laughter.

Emma meets her mother's eyes and her dimpled smile makes Emma roll her eyes ever so slightly.

He's sitting beside her by the end of the night, after Alistair puts on another movie and Henry falls asleep in Killian's arms.

They're on the floor. Killian has an arm around Emma's son and Emma wraps hers around her knees, leaning her cheek against them while she admires the way her little boy clings so easily to Killian.

In the room only illuminated by the flickering glow of the television, Killian puts his arm around her and offers her a tiny smile. She responds in kind and leans back against his shoulder gently.

When the movie is over and everyone says goodnight, Killian carries Henry for Emma and she laughs when he grunts as he settles the little boy down on her bed.

He has crinkles by the sides of his eyes and she almost forgets that this is technically the last place they'd been happy together. It hits her and her smile fades away. So does Killian's.

Killian has a look around her bedroom and reaches up to scratch behind his ear. "It looks the same."

Emma nods. "Yeah. I guess they didn't touch it after I left."

Emma wraps her arms around her and slides her hands up and down before squeezing. Killian is clearly uncertain about what he should do- torn between staying and saying something or leaving.

She takes a deep breath and manages to smile. "Want a hot chocolate?"

He hesitates further and then shakes his head. "No, thank you though. I'd best be going. I'm sure you're tired."

Emma nods in understanding and Killian tilts his head toward the door. "I'll be off. Goodnight."

"Night." She watches him go and then follows after him quickly. "Hey- Killian,"

He turns around and raises his eyebrow. "Hm?"

"Did you have fun tonight?"

"Aye." Killian smiles. "Your boy has quite a lot to say. I could hardly catch up with him when we played tag."

Emma laughs at the memories of the night. "Yeah." She takes a deep breath. "I'm glad you had fun."

He steps toward her and her heart skips a beat, not knowing what he's about to do. To her surprise, he wraps his arms around her and she folds into him easily.

"Thank you for letting me in."

Emma squeezes her eyes shut and she's almost back there when they were younger and in love. He smells just about the same and his warm embrace feels insanely warmer than she remembers.

When he pulls away, Emma feels somewhat lighter. They still stand close enough to touch, but they don't. Instead, they just stare.

"I want to talk." Emma says. "Is it okay if we talk tonight?"

Killian stares at her for a moment before he nods. "I think we're due for it."

She looks over at the couch in her living room and swallows. "I'll make the hot cocoa."

/

"So why do you call him Bug?" Killian asks.

It's about three in the morning and they're both sitting on the couch, though Emma has her legs sprawled out while he sits upright.

They've been talking for a while about the little things that they've missed.

They spent about half an hour talking about the quality of the hot chocolate, which led into a discussion about their favorite kinds of hot chocolate, and subsequently they began talking about the places they've been when they were apart.

She smiles a little at his question and takes a breath.

"I went to my first ultrasound all by myself." Emma presses her fingers against her midsection. "When I saw him on the screen, he was still super small and I blurted out that he looked like a little bug." She laughs and he can't help but do the same. "So I just… kept calling him Bug and I guess it stuck."

Killian hums. He stares up at the ceiling and bites down on his lip. "He's a good boy. I think you should be proud of him."

Emma nods against the pillow under her head and then pushes herself so she's sitting upright on the couch. She draws her legs up and wraps her arms around them.

For a few moments, they stare at each other, and Killian knows that they're both thinking about what they should talk about now, what they really need to, but neither of them seem to be able to find the words.

He clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath as he stares down at his lap, away from Emma. Being here reminds him of so many things- so many vivid memories, mostly good ones, but one or two glaringly bad ones.

"Elsa says we need to talk about our breakup." Emma tells him.

He looks up at her, eyebrows furrowed, and shakes his head minutely. "Elsa says so, huh?"

Emma shrugs. "She's very invested in our friendship."

Killian laughs once. "I… I don't know. I thought it was fairly cut and dry what happened between us."

Emma hums. They continue to stare at one another for a few long moments.

"I was scared," she tells him. "I was scared that we weren't going anywhere. I was scared that because we were best friends and fell in love, I wouldn't ever have that with anyone else." She pauses and laughs softly. "It was stupid. I had pressure on me from my parents and they wanted to see us getting married in no time at all but I-"

"You just weren't sure of who you were." Killian finishes for her. "I understood that, Emma."

He searches her eyes and he's surprised when she reaches for his hand, folding her fingers around his.

"It was good when it was good," she says, as if she's thinking of a far off time.

Killian smiles and nods his head on a heavy breath. "Aye."

Emma removes her hand from his and looks away from him. She manages a smile at him. "Remember when we stayed up all night once watching all of the Star Wars movies because you hadn't seen them?"

Killian cracks a grin, laughing softly. "Of course. I'll never forget that education."

Emma gets up off of the couch and goes to the cabinet beside her television to pull out her box set. She lifts her eyebrows. "What do you think?"

"I think it sounds like more fun than you'll have tomorrow shopping with the ladies."

Emma groans and nods. "Which means we're watching this now and not talking about how my mother is about ready to set me up with any number of suitors that undoubtedly have called since I've been back home."

Killian's chest pangs once with a twinge of jealousy, but he knows Emma isn't about to fall in love with anyone she's been set up with. He also knows it shouldn't matter to him who Emma eventually does marry, because no matter what, he'll always have her friendship. At least, he hopes so.

Emma pops in episode four, explaining that she just doesn't have the energy for the prequels, and then she curls up under a blanket, her head resting against his shoulder while he drapes his arm across the back of her couch.

She makes it through the first half hour before she dozes off, at which point, Killian finds himself doing the same.