My shrink is telling me I got crazy dreams,

She's also saying I got low self esteem

She's kinda hot though

Yeah, she's kinda hot though.

She put me on meds, she won't get out of my head

She's kinda hot though.

"What's up doc?"

Chihiro ignored her patient's goading and responded with a simple hello; Izaya smiled pleasantly and waited for her to settle herself on the opposite couch.

"Have you been taking your medication regularly Orihara-san?"

"Yes I have."

"And have you been writing in the dream journal the doctors have assigned to you?"

Izaya nodded. "Oh yes, I've written all about my dreams and fantasies. Perhaps you'd like to hear a few?"

"If you don't mind sharing that information with me, I'd like to hear it. Would you mind if I took notes during our session?" Chihiro held up her clipboard and pen.

"By all means, feel free to do so." Izaya said. "If it'll help the good doctors make me well."

Chihiro uncapped her pen. "Okay Orihara-san, just start when you're ready."

Izaya took a deep breath. "In the dream I had last night, I was all alone in the dark; it was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing."

"Oh, that sounds scary." Chihiro commented as she wrote. "What did you do?"

"I searched around in the darkness and suddenly there a dozen lighted candles appeared and surrounded me. I realized I was in a room."

"Hm. What did the room look like? Was it one you recognized?"

Izaya nodded. "It was my old bedroom. I do miss sleeping in my own bed. The ones at the mental hospital are so stiff."

Chihiro frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that. Me and a few others have been lobbying for better quality furnishings for the patient's rooms, but the hospital's budget is quite stretched."

"How altruistic of you Dr. Hamada." Izaya's smile was mocking.

"How kind of you to say." Chihiro replied evenly. "Now, you were in your old room: did something happen next?"

"Yes." Izaya said. "It's a bit shocking though doctor. Are you sure you want to know?"

Chihiro nodded. "If you're comfortable telling me, please, go on Orihara-san."

"Well, okay." Izaya's smile grew devious. "The candles began to grow brighter and brighter until I noticed someone else was there in the room with me."

Izaya paused as if for dramatic effect; Chihiro had a feeling he was enjoying himself.

"Who was that person Orihara-san?"

"It was you Dr. Hamada."

Chihiro paused. "Me."

"Yes, you." Izaya said innocently. "The dream gets quite interesting from there. Would you like details?"

Chihiro sighed lightly. "Orihara-san, if you're not going to take these sessions seriously, perhaps you'd like me to refer you to another therapist? I know several that may suit your needs."

Izaya pouted. "I didn't mean it like that. You're an attractive, professional, and intelligent woman Dr. Hamada. Can you blame a man for being affected so?"

"Orihara-san." Chihiro's tone was stern. "You are my patient and I am your therapist. Even playful flirting or teasing is a violation of social worker ethics. Please understand that."

She adjusted her glasses. "If you continue with these comments, I will have no choice but to drop you as my client and refer you to a colleague of mine. Even if you're not being serious, this counts as a conflict of interest and as entirely inappropriate."

Izaya held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I get it. No more teasing."

"Good." Chihiro said preparing to take more notes. "Now, would you like to tell me about your real dreams?"

"Yes." Izaya said with a grave expression; Chihiro was relieved.

"What happened?"

"We were having sex on your desk."

"Goodbye Orihara-san, this will conclude our sessions. I will refer you to another professional. Good luck and have a nice day."

She looked on as he was leaving and saw him wave and wink at her from the large windows.

Chihiro sighed and pulled out a bottle of aspirin from her desk and took a pill.

"I should've been an accountant."

Author's Note: Lyrics are from 5O5S's "She's Kinda Hot"