Hysteria

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: WWE is property of a zillion people that aren't me. I do not own the characters, storylines, people portraying them, etc. I only own this story and I make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for language, violence, sexual situations, slash, etc.

Pairing: eventual Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins, etc.

Setting: Post-Hell in a Cell 2014 and the Raw the night after, etc.

Summary: "You stabbed me in the back, you son of a bitch." "You are my Brother. I trusted you. I trusted you, Seth. After everything..." "Wyatt is just a tiny, annoying, blip on my radar; don't ever think that my eyes aren't watching you, Seth."

A/N: Also known as: in which I had too many feels to count thanks to this PPV so I must write fic to feel better.

A/N 2: Also, ALSO known as: in which Seth fucked up and now has to find a way to fix it.

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Chapter Twelve - An Understanding

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The words stick like glue to his throat and he has to work hard to get them out but he does. It felt really important that he did.

And then...

Then it was as if the world had suddenly fallen on its side and everything he had known, everything, was something different. The air rushes in his ears and he barely registers what he says, other than those three important words that he tells him.

"You love me?" he asks incredulously.

Seth told him he loved him.

He had done a lot of thinking about Seth for a long time. A very long time. Back in the day they had been rivals and it had been amazing. In all time wrestling he had never thought he could ever find an equal in the ring. He had fought in many places, fought so many different people but it was never quite what he was seeking. What he had been seeking exactly he didn't know back then. Only just that these competitors hadn't been up to snuff, hadn't done anything for him.

He had jumped at the opportunity to go to WWE. It was the main wrestling product in the world and some amazing talent went there. If he was going to have a good chance of finding what he was looking for, it'd be there. So he went to FCW and he waited. Not always patiently; he was, by nature, not much of a patient man. But he did his best. He waited. He looked. He watched.

Eventually he comes to face Seth Rollins for the first time. He had heard of him of course; Seth had already done big things in places like ROH and he thought it'd be interesting to fight him and see how it turned out.

Then they lock up in the ring...and it was magic.

This, this, this feeling, this indescribable feeling was what he had been longing for, searching for, for almost his entire career and he had finally found it. Could finally put a name to the face. He had been searching for his equal in the ring and he had absolutely found it in Seth Rollins. Rollins' obvious dislike of him back then only spurred him on harder to fight him again and again. At first he thought it might have been coincidence, maybe, that feeling. But then they wrestle again and it is that same feeling of magic, of certainty, in him again and he knows that it was no fluke.

Even when fighting others, like Regal, and getting distracted by other people and other things, Seth Rollins was never far from his mind. In Seth he had found everything he had ever desired in an opponent and that feeling he felt whenever he was near him only intensified over time; it never abated completely. It was better than any drug and he wanted another taste of it.

People would call his feeling obsession and he wouldn't really disagree with them. He just didn't care if it was or not. He had so few bright spots in his life that he greedily took every bit he could when he was somehow lucky enough to get one.

Then their animosity is not what it once was. There is genuine respect there, had been for a long time, but it starts to become something different. And eventually Seth Rollins becomes something which Dean could probably count on one hand, if that; a friend. And he's not the only one. Roman Reigns, someone who he didn't see eye to eye at first is someone whom they both start to hang around. As it was obvious to anyone with half a brain cell that the three of them were by far the most talented in FCW, then NXT. They deserved better. Deserved to be on the main show. Deserved-then opportunity in the name of Paul Heyman drops at their proverbial doorsteps and it's the in they had been looking for. They take it. They seize it and they don't look back.

The three of them, all talented, were different. And they had never teamed together, yet when they do they-in something akin to his and Seth's wrestling together-click. They all bring something different to the table in terms of skills but instead of that hindering them it only serves to have them work better together. He would never have believed it if he hadn't been apart of the group himself. But they all just clicked in a way that did not happen often for people. They played so well off each other, as if they had been together for years, that it left everyone, everyone, astounded.

The time they'd travel on the roads and tell each other stories to help the boredom, pulling ribs on each other, learning more about each other... For the first time in his life, Dean felt like he was truly apart of something. He was valued just as much as the others were. They all valued each other the same and looked out for each other (because certainly, with all the people they had rubbed the wrong way, they only had each other to rely on-and that was fine with him.) He had previously, before teaming with them, disliked teaming with other people. He didn't like having to deal with other people. People were just as likely to stab you in the back as anything. But these two didn't. The bond between the three of them only strengthened over time and they became something more to each other.

They weren't just friends, or even best friends; they were brothers. It was a word, a code, that they all lived by; he believed that completely (even when later events left him feeling something shattered inside of himself.) And it getting closer to the two of them it also helped him to slowly understand those hard to define in himself feelings that he had felt. He had felt that magic when wrestling Seth and later feels it when they team together. He feels a feeling of genuine happiness for the first time he can remember in...forever. He feels a happiness, a kinship, in teaming with Roman but it is not like the feeling with Seth. With Seth it was...different.

And in doing something stupid, like stealing Seth's stupid little hair tie or whatever the fuck it was, the puzzle pieces in his brain click together, create a complete whole picture and as Seth lies on top of him, he realizes the whole picture; he likes Seth. Not just a friendship like, a Brother like, but like like he wants to kiss him and hold him close and want to know just what lay under all those clothes, to taste the salty tang of his skin...

He wanted.

He didn't know what Seth liked though. He tried to figure out the best way to approach the situation, but then the loud crack of a steel chair against the back of one of his Brothers puts all that to the backburner.

Seth had betrayed them.

That fragile trust, the thing in his chest barely held together falls back apart.

He hated him. No...no he had wanted to hate him. Even back when they had been fighting, before they had become the Shield, had become something more, he had never hated Seth. Never. But now he wanted to hate him so bad for doing this.

He suffers through the day, gets through the night by fighting Seth or others and nearly falls completely apart.

He gets so close to Seth he can kiss him and Seth pushes him away and that does little to help him and his ever spiraling emotions.

Then Seth kisses him and everything changes. He gets to touch his skin like he wanted, gets to see the sort of face he makes when he comes and it's almost, almost enough for him. Seth runs away from the situation, from him and he lets him then. And later he finds moments to get close to him. He hadn't honestly expected it to lead to him in bed with Seth doing things he had only fantasized about. It had been greater than he had ever expected, even filled with a few things that surprises him. Seth had, after everything, let him be the one to... sure Seth had lied in the past, but Dean had always been good-for the most part-in seeing through his bullshit. Even that day when Seth had hurt him and Roman, he hadn't lied; he had only been quiet. Seth had let him...it had meant something. He knew it meant something, even if Seth wanted to try and deny it later.

"Guess you're right. I just wondered if you'd..."

"No." He can feel his eyes widen as Seth just says it. He doesn't try and hide anything at all from Dean. He had expected him to still be guarded. "You don't believe me? I know you think I'm-"

He shakes his head violently. "No. Not that. It's just..." he swallows. "You haven't?"

"No." Seth repeats. "Have you?"

He licks his drying lips. "A few times. It wasn't-" It didn't mean anything. Nothing like this. Not even close. A bunch of interlocking parts moving together for a few seconds of pleasure. But this? This means something. I know it does. Tell me it means something for you too, Seth...

Now...now...

"Dean!"

Seth's sudden exclamation gets his attention and he jumps a bit. And just like that everything, all the words Seth had said comes rushing back.

"Did you hear me?" Seth asks him, brows furrowed.

Seth loved him.

"I heard you." he says hoarsely. He coughs a bit to try and clear his throat. Seth had said those important three words. Three words he had never put stock into before. It was too easy for people to throw words around to get what they wanted; he had been on the receiving end of that time and again, had seen what it did to people. But it was different with Seth. Seth had no edge, no nothing to use that would make sense for him to say it, in a way that could give him something he wanted. Other than him reciprocating Dean's feelings. Seth was the Authority's Golden boy; reciprocating Dean's feelings would only hurt his standing with the Authority, not help. Wait...Seth had said something else. He remembered. Before he cut himself off or Dean cut him off, however it went...he had said something else.

"You mean you didn't...that it wasn't..." he swallows hard. Maybe he was stupid to believe Seth and his words. But he did. He knew Seth, knew him to a level that would shock others and would have shocked himself once upon a time (if only a little), knew his actions, his words, everything. Seth had only blindsided him three times in the time he had known him; once during that May when he took off, second with those chairshots that had changed everything, and now with those three words said to him.

He glances back at Seth who was looking away, biting on his lip. He looked so lost and yet so utterly Seth that it made it hard for him to think straight. He wanted nothing more than to wrap him close to himself and hear those words again. So he starts to walk over to him, ignoring the wary, weary, look in Seth's eyes and embraces him. He feels Seth instantly tense and starts to rub his back. Back when they had all been together as the Shield the three of them had always been touchy-feely with one another. Dean had never liked that sort of thing before them and still didn't with others outside of Seth and Roman, but with them it felt comforting and safe. Things he had felt very little in his life. They comforted one another and that instinct came back strongly now, stronger than it had been in ages; Brother hurt? Help Brother. That instinct, that feeling, came to him as potently as his feelings of desire and love for Seth. He doubted that would ever change. It was always there, even when he put his fists on him.

They stand there like that for a few moments, him rubbing Seth's back while Seth starts to slowly relax. After what feels like much too short for him, Seth pushes him back away from him.

"...Thanks." Seth mutters, still looking away from Dean. He didn't like that. He had, from early on, had wanted Seth's eyes on him and only him. From almost the beginning of his time in FCW that became his goal. But he understood, at least partly, what Seth was feeling now. And hopefully Seth would let him in the rest of the way and he'd know the rest.

"Welcome. So," he says, rolling his shoulders a bit. He needed a good rub or a shower. "what now?"

Seth finally looks back at him then, licking his lips a bit. He wondered if Seth even realized he did that sometimes when he was on edge or nervous; probably not.

"I suppose it'd be too much to suppose you didn't pay attention to all I said," Seth laughs mirthlessly, shaking his head.

Dean lets out a little creaky laugh. "You know me better than that, Seth." He soon sobers back up, frowning a bit. "Tell me. Please."

Seth nods. "Okay...okay. Yeah. I'm this far in now, huh? What the hell was I thinking? Bad idea, probably..."

Dean wraps an arm around his shoulders as they start to leave. "Fraid' so. You told Dean Ambrose you love him; I'm sure it's all gonna go down from here." He grins. Seth sighs, but can't help a smile from blossoming on his face. That simple gesture makes him love him more. He hadn't seen a genuine smile from Seth in...too long.

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He takes it all in without a sound. Seth finally finishes speaking and there is nothing but silence for a time. Eventually he rubs at his face, taking in all what he had told him.

"So let me get this straight. You're telling me that Hunter had something bad going on and so you defected to their side to stop it from happening."

"...Basically."

He gets up. He had to move, had to think... He starts to pace. "Why the fuck couldn't you tell me then? Or Roman? Why couldn't you-" The words stick in his throat and feel like molasses as he gets them out. "-trust us?" Why couldn't you trust me?

Seth frowns. He doesn't move from his spot on the opposite bed. They had went to Dean's room at his hotel to talk and felt like a strange sort of deja-vu to be speaking to Seth late at night in a room like this; they often got a room together to share. A lot of times they were lucky that they could get a room with two beds and two of them would share one bed and the other would get the other bed to sleep in (often times he and Roman would share while Seth got one for himself, though on the rare occasion when Roman was grumpy he'd have a bed to himself. Usually he bunked with Roman just to make it easier. He didn't know-back then-how Seth would have reacted to feel Dean's reaction against him.)

"It's not that I don't trust you," Seth says quietly. And the tense he speaks doesn't fly past Dean. "...I've never not trusted you; at least when we became friends and then Brothers...even when things seemed shaky I still had faith in you and Roman. But that's why I couldn't involve you...I didn't want you to get hurt."

Dean laughs, unable to help himself. "Didn't want me hurt? How'd that work out for you?"

Seth looks away. "I didn't ask for that. You kept on and I had to prove something to the Authority whether I wanted to or not." He shakes his head. He looks tired. "Things would have been much worse if I hadn't went about it the way I did and I-I promised myself back then that I'd do anything I could to protect you."

He stops. He could be lying to him. Seth could have been pulling the biggest ploy anyone in the history of ever had pulled...but he believed him. Maybe it was partly just because he wanted to, but it still felt like it had the ring of truth to it. Back when Seth had said those words in the beginning, when he had first betrayed them, the words stung and stuck in something fierce in him but they always felt wrong.

Abruptly he moves back to the bed across from Seth, sitting down. He wanted to be close to him, see his face, as they talked. "You've been alone all this time doing this." He didn't like Seth being in the proverbial lion's den without any backup. That's what Dean and Roman were there for.

Seth stills. "Not..." He pauses briefly. "Not alone. Not for a little while at least."

Dean's brow raises. Surely Roman would have told him something this fucking important if he had-? He asks as much. "Roman?"

Seth shakes his head, but doesn't elaborate.

Dean stares at him. "You're not going to tell me that Orton was in on it with you or something are you?"

Seth snorts. "Hell no. Like I'd work with Orton willingly."

He waits but Seth doesn't say anything more. He tries to find more things to get Seth to give up a bit more. "You said you were doing it for me."

Seth worries a bit of the bed's blanket between his fingers, not looking at Dean. "I did? I think you might have mishear-"

"Can the shit, Seth." He feels a thrill as Seth looks at him now, anger in his gaze. He liked that. He liked when Seth looked at him, especially when he looked at him with such large emotions. To see a shut off Seth, like he had seen for months, had been the worst for him. "Tell me the truth. I'm a big boy; I can take it."

"I can't, Dean."

Now he feels the flash of anger. "Why? Think I'll do something stupid? You don't trust me? What then, Seth?"

Seth's mouth thins a bit. "I told you already," Seth says carefully. "I trust you. I meant that. But this is...it's delicate. And I'm starting to realize it means a lot more than just one person, but when the person in question is the person I love then I-" He swallows. "I want to do everything in my power to protect them. Protect you."

At Dean's frown he continues, sighing. "Look...it's Triple-H, okay? He has something on you. Something big. Something from your past." Dean starts to stand but Seth grabs onto his arm. "Wait. Look, I didn't pry or anything. I know there's still a lot you still haven't told me or Roman and that's okay. I'm willing to wait. And listen. But whatever it is..." He swallows again. "I overheard Triple-H talking about you and I knew I had to act. It was going to be bad Dean. I couldn't let him do that to you. I thought of a plan and then I approached him about defecting. If I was close to him I could take him down and you'd never have to worry or deal with whatever he wanted to throw at you. Not like that. You might get beat up a bit and you might be hurt but you'd heal. What he wanted to do...there is no coming back from that. I had to do something that would get his mind off that train of thought. And I did."

He sits there, trying to take it all in. Seth had given up everything to do what he did. He had went it alone in a world he had little knowledge or experience with; had sat and made nice with the lions that wanted to slit all their throats.

"You're an idiot, Seth."

Seth gapes at him. "Seriously? You're going to talk to me that way after I-!"

Dean doesn't let him finish as he leans across the distance and kisses him quiet. He savors the slow slide of their lips as they move together, that Seth instantly has that faith in him, that trust and goes along with him. Not that he was submitting; he still fought for dominance and that only served to make Dean feel all the hotter, the better. He had slept with many people before, but it hadn't meant anything. Now there was Seth and it did and he'd gladly lay down for Seth and let Seth do all the things he could think of to him. He rather looked forward to it.

He pulls back and can't hold back a grin at the sound Seth makes as he pulls away from him. He liked that glazed look in his eyes; meant he did his job well.

"But you're my idiot, y'know? I've never...you have to know I've never told anyone that I-" he murmurs. "You know."

Seth's brows raise. "I know what? I think you're going to have to elaborate."

He lets out a huff. "Fuck off. You know what I'm talking about!"

Seth grins. "Do I now? Come on, Dean, you can't leave me hanging like that. I think I deserve to know."

He grunts and moves forward, tackling the other man, who lets out a rather unmanly squeak as he gets taken by surprise, laying on top of him. He leans down to kiss Seth so thoroughly that when he pulls up for air it has Seth gasping. He moves his lips down over Seth's ear, loving the delicious little shiver Seth makes as he runs his tongue down it.

"I love you." he whispers huskily.

Seth lets out a low moan and pulls him closer...

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They lay together after. He lets him hold him close, savoring the warmth from him as he lay behind him, arm around him. It felt nice and more than he felt he'd ever receive. The fact that he was so willing to put his trust in him after everything that occurred...that meant everything to him.

"Leave."

He frowns. He knew the words weren't asking him to leave the room. No it was something deeper and more fundamental than that. He sighs, running a hand along the other man's arm. "I can't, Dean."

Dean's grip around him tightens a bit. He is silent for a moment. "Why?" he finally rasps.

"Because." he starts. He needed to look at Dean to say this, for him to understand it. He turns around to look at Dean. The closeness of the other man's proximity still made his heart beat something fierce in his chest. He loved this person. That meant everything to him. He had never been in a position to love someone, not like he wanted to. And miracle of all miracles-Dean felt the same way. "I told you before-this is about you mainly for me, but it's not just about you. I've slowly started to get the bigger picture as I've been around the Authority. They're fucking with a lot of people and doing a lot of terrible things. I've...had some help from people for a little while now and they've put their asses on the line. I can't just up and abandon them."

"You and your morals." Dean says with fondness in his tone. He kisses Seth briefly. They both were much too tired after the long, slow sex they had to do much more than kiss right now. "Still can't tell me who they are? I'd like to know so I don't beat the wrong person over the head."

"You'd probably do it anyway." Seth snorts. Dean grins, shrugging as much as he was able in the position he was in. "If you must know. And you can't tell anyone, okay? Not even Roman. Not now. He's...got enough on his own plate right now."

"You trust him." It wasn't a question.

Seth nods. "I do. But the less people who know right now the better. Just..." he hesitates. "Trust me?"

Dean dips his head to kiss Seth again. "You know I do." he breathes.

"Well, first it was-"

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"You really gotta go?"

Seth glances over at him as he finishes dressing. "Yeah." he says, regret lacing his voice. "They're used to me keeping long hours doing stuff sometimes but if I don't turn up eventually..." He laughs mirthlessly. "They like to keep their eyes on all of their 'toys'."

Dean was sitting on the much used bed now, sheet hanging loosely around his hips, still very much naked. The sight made Seth want to say fuck it and jump back into bed. Especially after everything, being able to get to this point...but he couldn't. Not now.

"Still can't believe it." Dean says, leaning back in bed. Seth glares at Dean as he stretches out, letting Seth see the expanse of his chest and stomach. Dean smirks, seemingly reading Seth's thoughts. "Punk, I can see. He's been away but he hates the Authority on the same kind of level we do. He's smart. They've always underestimated him. But Mercury and Noble? Always just saw them as lackeys. And Kane? That guy seems so far up the Authority's ass that-"

"He's got his own priorities," Seth cuts in. "And helping me goes with that. I'm not sure all what they have on him or what the situation is, but it isn't good for him either. And really, I'm glad for the help; I was going crazy doing it all on my own."

Dean's eyes seem to soften a bit at that statement and he gets up, uncaring of his nakedness (he never had in the past either) and pulls Seth over to him for a quick, but heated kiss. He responds automatically, still reeling from the feeling and emotion that came with it. The other man pulls back after a moment and nods a bit, seemingly to himself. "You're not alone anymore, Seth."

That had so many meanings now and those simple words, along with the other words Dean had said to him, left him reeling. He felt like he'd need those things in the near future, the deeper he got in trying to dismantle a demon like the Authority piece by piece.

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"Alright, we got everything?"

"Yes. For the last time." Seth says in exasperation. "How much stuff do you need anyway?"

Dean ignores that and continues. "So I felt like a suit would complete the image, so I nicked one."

Seth eyes him. "And where did you get it from?" he asks suspicious.

Dean waggles his eyebrows. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he says, tongue against his teeth as he grins a wolfish grins.

Seth rolls his eyes, unable to stop a chuckle from escaping him. Dean was just so goofy sometimes. "Right. Sit down so I can start filming this. I don't have much time left."

Dean plops down in front of the desk they had set up, complete in suit and tie. The suit was a bit big on him but he still somehow managed to pull it off thanks to his charisma and nonchalance.

"Yep. You got to go and sponge bathe Triple-H soon right?"

Dean ducks as Seth throws a clipboard at him.

"Hey! Barrett still has to sign that!"

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"Come on," Seth says abruptly, standing up. "Time to go."

He had a great promo to cut and a match to win.

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He snorts with laughter as Dean, after his match earlier with Luke Harper, manages to corner Barrett and literally ties his hands to the ring post and has him sign his contract he'd been hounding him to do all night. Dean had the biggest brass balls; you had to hand it to him.

"Ambrose is crazy." the voice next to him says, in something like fear, awe, and admiration.

He glances over to look at Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble. He shrugs. "Isn't he though?" God was his voice full of too much emotion. He had to tamp it down when he wasn't around Dean or people would put two and two together before he knew it. They don't seem to get it or at least make no comment about it.

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He barely gets to get a quick kiss from Dean before he has to run off, thanks to stupid Triple-H needed something from him. He wouldn't be able to see Dean again until Smackdown's taping, if he was lucky.

Luckily the issue was minor and Smackdown rolls through relatively quickly. He's glad he's able to keep his concentration on the task at hand as he wrestles Ziggler again. He's also irritated as fuck at all the interference. He could wrestle perfectly amazing, thank you very much; he did not need interference to win a match. But Triple-H seemed to think everything needed interference to get things done. It got under his skin and it continues to do so as he gets a quick shower after the match before leaving the arena. He hadn't seen hide or hair of Dean all day and perhaps that was for the best; the less they saw each other where others could possibly spot them together, the better.

Until he was either out of the Authority's thumb or they were dismantled, it was a dangerous tightrope the two of them would be walking. But he couldn't turn away from Dean now. Not after everything. They had finally reached a place of understanding with one another. They had both told each other how they had truly felt. He couldn't let go of that, that selfish desire of his. So many other things in his life right now felt out of his control, but this was something that was his and his alone. Something for him to have. Dean was his and he was Dean's, simple as that.

He finds himself automatically searching out Dean's room as he gets to the hotel. Dean had told him what room he'd have when he saw him last. He felt like he was forgetting something important, but after a quick search on his person finding all of his stuff in place he mentally shrugs and continues onto Dean's room. He sets his bag down and starts to knock when a sound behind him catches his attention.

"Seth."

He knew that voice. He knew it well.

"What are you doing?"

Roman.

Shit.

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A/N: Hee! What a cliffhanger. Felt best to stop it there. Funny that so much of the chapter was from Dean's POV-I hadn't planned on it but as I started to write Dean took the drivers seat and I went with it. I liked it though; I think it turned out better than I expected. That was probably one of my favorite chapters to write so far.

I hope you enjoyed this!

Feel free to leave me a comment and tell me what you think!

-PhoenixJustice