Details and odds and ends, and minor pre-smut smut. Lol

Chapter 12

The Problem With Secrets.

"Maggie!" Castiel snapped her name, as his eyes flew open, his mind jarred from the meditative state, that for him, passed as sleep by the sensation of her prodding into his memories.

Her eyes were still closed, her face relaxed but, determined. She was either so deep into his mind that she didn't hear him, or she was ignoring him, with her, either was possible, he knew, she was stubborn. She was strong as well, he had found, strong enough to walk through his mind without his permission, at this moment strong enough to continue, despite his resistance.

"Maggie stop!" he warned her again, and again no response from her came, just the same look of relaxed determination.

Maggie had wanted to know the details of the towns destruction, she wanted to know exactly what happened to the angels she considered innocent. Castiel was not forthcoming with the details, she decided she would find out one way or another. It was not an issue of trust, she believed wholeheartedly he did all he could. If he said he did, then he did.

She wanted to know because, far too often Castiel had come back from these missions, hunts, adventures, whatever you chose to call them, weary, exhausted, miserable, full of need and want. Overcome with a seeming desire to fill or replace some part of himself, his soul. She wanted… Needed badly to understand it, to understand this part of him. She gave to him freely of herself, She held him and loved him, each time, just as she had today… yet he never gave her and understanding of just what was the cause of his pain. She only wanted to share it, in hopes of relieving it. She had watched him walk around tortured for days, too many times. Yes he hid it, he went on as he always had but, she could see it, sense it, and she could feel him hiding things.

Since they were bound, secrets were work, not easily hidden, he shouldn't have any from her. She understood perfectly what he was now. It was time she saw for herself what he was capable of.

Her eyes opened to face his, hers were wide, he saw horror deep inside them and deeper still sadness.

"Maggie" he growled quietly, keeping in mind Zoe was asleep just a few feet away.

He was angry, she saw it, heard it, felt it. He had never been angry with her before… ever. She had betrayed his trust, she would admit that, she would accept the consequences as well. She found what she needed, there was no reason for secrets now.

She reached out her hand and touched his face. His jaw still set he closed his eyes at her touch. "I love you" she whispered, "It's alright." she told him.

He shook his head, his eyes once again opened and narrowed at her, "Maggie I asked you not to push this." he hissed.

"Shhhh" she soothed ignoring his angry tone. "I understand… it's alright." she whispered inching closer to him in the bed.

Again he closed his eyes, "It was too late… I couldn't stop it once it started." he began to explain.

"I know" she soothed.

"I knew they would change their mind… I tried Maggie.. I gave them every chance…" he went on.

"Shhhhh…." She soothed again running fingers through his hair, "I know… it's okay." she told him, this time pulling him close to her feeling his arms wrap around her, his anger at her dissolving, as she held his head against her chest, raking long strokes through his hair, calming and soothing him.

"Once it starts it can't be stopped…" He continued his explanation.

"I know" she told him calmly, "It's alright now… I love you… It needed to be done."

His arms held her tighter and she returned his embrace, holding him just as tightly. For a long while they stayed this way in silence and she felt the tension leave his body for the first time in a long time. "No more secrets." she whispered. "I accept what you are… I'm not afraid." she assured him.

"I just don't want you to see the… terrible things… the choices you can not understand." he explained.

"But… I understand Castiel. My purpose is to understand and to share this with you… you need to understand that."

He nodded and let out a small chuckle at how easily this all came to her. She was truly meant to be his, the binding only made her more compassionate yet, somehow accepting of things as a human she should never comprehend.

He pushed her to her back on the bed and kissed her, gently, tenderly, "I love you" he whispered as he wrapped a finger through a stray curl as he brought a wing around her, tucking her body gently and safely inside. He did this out of a strange desire to remind himself he was in fact an angel and she was his mate, it was a reminder of all that it meant. They were meant to share everything the good and the bad, they were meant to heal each other, complete each other. By protecting her he was only confusing her new senses. He had much to learn, and somehow she again had the answers.

Maggie turned to press her face into the angels chest as she settled into sleep feeling his arms and his wings surround her. She had seen what he had seen. The Giant white fireball that left engulfed the town in a bright and blinding light consuming all the angels had built there leaving the place as it had been found broken and abandoned, she also saw the fate of the angels as the earth opened to swallow them up, many in the last moment seeing their error but too late for their outcome to be changed.

She understood Castiel felt responsible, it was his job to determine when they were beyond saving, when the time had come to end the battle. Still if he did not let her in, if he did not share the burden she could not play her part. She could not truly relieve the weight that pressed down upon him as a result of these duties, nothing could, he was no longer an angel in the sense he was before her, things were no longer so clear cut. She could however, take some of his uncertainty away with her reassurance.

***

Three days had passed since Maggie and Castiel returned from Wyoming, they spent 2 days at Bobby's before returning home and Maggie now found herself in the dressing room of a mall bridal shop with her sister and her niece.

"No Kate…" Maggie sighed, for what seemed the thousand's time.

"What's wrong with it" Kate argued.

"First it is white, second… it looks like a marshmallow." Maggie pointed out, scowling at the ball of taffeta and ruffles her sister was holding up.

"Oh it does not." the taller redhead disagreed

"Look you have the rules. It can't be white, or fluffy, or frilly, or anything else you would like!" Maggie recounted their earlier discussion "This is going to be very simple. Understand?"

Kate sighed "You mean you are not even going to try them." she grumbled, nodding at the rack of dresses she had wheeled back the fitting area

"Not in this lifetime." Maggie retorted then repeated "Simple."

"You know you only have 10 days to do this, you have no dress, no rings. Really Maggie, do I look like a miracle worker? You could be a little more cooperative." Kate said impatient, as she bundled up the last 3 gowns she brought in and stomped back out to the sales floor.

Maggie sighed loudly and flopped down in the plush chair in the corner of the dressing room, shaking her head at her sister's outburst. She leant her head back and wondered why she told her at all, oh yes Castiel, had guilted her into it, the angel was lucky she loved him, because right now, she wanted to send her sister and him both, to the moon. At least the dressing room was nice, Cushy chair, small love seat, the room was designed to hold a bridal party, or family members or 5 or 6 squealing teenage girls trying on prom gowns.

Maggie had the room to herself, she had unceremoniously shooed everyone out to the sales floor sitting area. If she were going to do this, it was going to be in peace without opinion. Easier said than done with Kate onboard. Castiel was off somewhere, looking for tux's and rings, sent with her nephews and Chris by her sister he didn't understand the concept of small wedding. Then she thought of her brother in law poor Chris. Maggie found herself feeling bad for the poor guy, she didn't want to, he was an ass but, he really did try to do his best these days. It was obvious Castiel scared the hell out of him still, and he wasn't exactly comfortable around her lately either. He was probably having a better time than she was though, at least none of them were trying to kill him with chiffon.

Maggie got up and walked to the mirrored corner of the room, one of those tri-mirrors, with a huge mirror on the wall behind, meant to show all angles, every unwanted lump and bump, hideously illuminated, in the most unflattering fluorescent lighting money could buy. She stood grimacing at her own reflection, dressed only in a lime green pair of boy cut panties and a white satin bra, wondering just what sort of a masochist would design such a chamber of horrors. Assuming she must be worse, than whoever it was, because she now willingly stood in front of it over analyzing, her pale blue and lumpy self. Twisting and turning, this way and that, her expression growing more horrified with each new angle.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to forget the images, no one could look good under these conditions she reasoned. Directing her attention back to why she was there, she turned to look at the 3 or 4 dresses hanging to her left that she had deemed acceptable to try on and another two that Kate insisted she would like if she just gave them a chance.

"Don't' do that." Castiel's voice came from behind, startling her and causing her to jump

"Shit!" she breathed out, putting her hand over her heart.

"You didn't sense me?" he questioned, with a chuckle enveloping her in his arms from behind.

"I was too busy wallowing in self depreciation" she joked.

"I heard" he said sternly, "and I'm sorry." he said earnestly, bending to nuzzle her neck, adding "don't do that."

"Well that mirror leaves a lot to be desired." she told him shooting an glare in it's direction.

"Well you don't and I know for certain." he soothed.

"Oh really.." she chucked at him, "I have a feeling I stray pretty far from the design specs" she laughed

"Actually you don't…" he said with certainty, " and I would know… I was there." he said matter of fact, as he pulled her hair away from her shoulder, clearing the path for his lips to lay a trail of wet kisses.

"What are you doing?" she questioned, as his lips worked their way across the back of her shoulder.

"What do you think I am doing." he said mischievously, bringing his hand up across her throat, leaning her head back for a kiss.

"I think you are going to end up in a whole lot of trouble in a very public place." she giggled.

"It's not so public and the door has a lock." he whispered in her ear.

"And my sister is on the other side of it." she reminded.

"She is feeding Zoe right now, I saw her on my way in." he reasoned, his hands lightly traveling the span from her waist to her hips and back.

"Ahhh I see you had a plan." she giggled, "Naughty angel."

He responded with a laugh. "Not really," he admitted " Not until I saw you needed reminded how beautiful you are." again pressing lips to her shoulder.

Then came the knock on the door. Maggie laughed "Told you." she whispered.

"I really could send her to the moon you know… I can still do that." he reminded in a whisper.

"Don't tempt me" she said with a quiet laugh, before responding to the knock.

"Yes" she called out sounding intentionally irritated feeling certain it was Kate with more dresses.

"Aunt Maggie" her niece, Ashley's voice responded.

Maggie looked wide eyed at the angel who was now pressed firmly against her with no intention of letting this moment pass with out fulfilling his task. Castiel closed his eyes, and let out a sigh at the sound of the girls voice, he nodded stepping back to sit uncomfortably in the chair. Maggie couldn't help but let out a small quiet giggle as she tossed one of fluffier dresses Kate had left behind to him. He looked at her confused. "Trust me just hold it." she said this time unable to control her laughter.

Maggie opened the door and Ashley handed her a stack of lingerie.

"Mom said to bring these to you." the teenager said rolling her eyes.

"Did she now." Maggie laughed, "Is she going to let me pick anything out myself?" she questioned shaking her head.

"I doubt it, I'm 16 and not allowed to by my own underwear either." the girl commiserated, entering the small room and flopping down on the loveseat.

Maggie nodded knowingly. "I'll look at them," She said tossing the pile on the loveseat next to her niece.

"Hey Uncle Cass, how'd you get away from the boys?" Ashley asked noticing the angel.

"They went to the arcade." he answered, He liked the girl but, he didn't want to start a long conversation at the moment, as a matter of fact. he would give anything if she would go find them.

"Is your mom still feeding Zoe?" Maggie asked.

Ashley nodded. "She has the sales girl pulling more dresses and shoes too now," she told them, snickering. "Is he allowed in here?"

Maggie rolled her eyes. "I'm am never going to get out of here." she sighed.

"Least you don't have to live with her." the girl reminded.

"Hey I served my time." her aunt reminded in return.

"She couldn't have been worse than now," the teenager sighed.

"Well she wasn't much different… I have an idea." Maggie said, looking for her purse, then pulling out a folded up picture of a dress.

"You go find me anything that looks like this and bring it back." she told her.

"Wow mom would not approve…" she said looking at the picture of the fairly simple dress.

"I know… why do you think I didn't give it to her."

"Find it and I'll take you home with me for a few days." Maggie promised.

"Really" Ashley asked with wide eyes.

"Yes really." Maggie told her.

She sighed "I'll find a few like it but, she will never let me go." the teenager complained.

"Why?" Castiel asked.

"School" she grumbled, "… should you be in here?" she questioned him.

"I thought you were out for the week?" Maggie asked, getting her off the subject.

"I am.. I have a report due for world history. It's late.. Mom's pissed." she explained further.

"Why's it late." Maggie asked.

"Cause it's lame." the girl answered as if that should explain it.

"Why's it lame?" the angel asked.

"Because it's history" she answered looking at him suspiciously. "you shouldn't be here… should you?" she pressed.

"Keep your mother out of here for 30 minutes and I will help you." Castiel offered, ignoring her question.

Maggie looked at him with a smirk and shook her head. Ashley looked at her aunt for confirmation.

"Even your mother can't argue with that, he was probably there." Maggie laughed.

"Should he be in here?" she asked looking at Castiel, then her aunt.

"Yes… it's fine." Maggie told her, holding back a laugh.

"Okay… I'll keep her busy, and I'm not even going to ask WHY he's in here." she said nodding at Castiel, with a smirk then, grinning at her aunt. "But, I'm pretty sure it is why mom says you are a bad influence." she cracked, on her way out the door.

"And don't tell your mother either!" Maggie told her as she left the dressing room.

Closing the door she turned to look at Castiel, "Lucky for us she has the attention span of a gnat." she chuckled. "… and I am not a bad influence." she grumbled.

Castiel stood handing her the fluffy dress. "Shhhh we have 30 minutes," he reminded, sinking his teeth into the spot on her shoulder where he left off before the interruption.

"You're the bad influence." Maggie giggled.

***

Okay up to you guys to we continue with the fitting room smut or do we move on???