11. Awake
She looks terrible, Jason Greenfield thought as he looked at the girl lying on the bed. As he once recalled, Amber Bay had been a beautiful girl. She had been full of life and was somehow able to stick by Jonathan. He admired her for her strength and believed that though Jonathan had many faults, she was perfect for him in her own way. Amber kept him in line, made him happy, and gave him a much needed wake up call for his life. Jason had never seen his son look so happy when he looked at her.
But now it all was different. The girl still had her beauty hidden beneath her skin, but she looked like death. When they first arrived at Jonathan's apartment they were all in shock at what they saw. Amber had left his years ago and to see her lying on his bed in this state shocked him. He never pictured Amber to do drugs. Even as he looked at her as Jonathan told the story of how he found her and what he was trying to do, Jason couldn't really believe it. But the proof was there.
Skylar had moved first after the story to check Amber's pulse. It was faint beneath the skin. Jason had a hard time hearing her heart beat even from a few feet away. It would be a miracle if Amber survived this kind of drug overdose. After a few hours of trying a few things, Jason finally called Carlisle, wanting to know what he should do. There wasn't much to do over the phone and with his patience waning, Carlisle promised to be there by morning at the latest.
Now they all sat around the room, Angel trying to make some small talk with Taylor, but no one was really in the mood to talk. Jonathan, other than what he said when they first walked in, remained silent the entire time. He never took his eyes off her, he never moved. He just sat there with a longing gaze that he knew all too well-he had given Claire the same look as he watched her sleep after he beat her. Jason could see the unbearable pain in his son's eyes that he couldn't do more to help her. It broke his heart to see his son like this.
"Jonathan, have you thought of…you know…changing her?" Jason heard Nick ask. All heads turned to his son as they waited for his response.
The room was filled with a thunderous silence. Jonathan just stared at Amber.
"Of course I have." He said finally. Jonathan grabbed Amber's hand and squeezed it softly. He kissed her palm and held her hand to his face, lost in some sort of thought. He whispered her name.
Everyone looked away then. There was something so sincere and kind about that moment he said her name that it almost seemed rude to watch. There was no denying that Jonathan loves Amber, Jason thought. But how much will he survive when she dies?
"I know what you're thinking." Jonathan said suddenly. At first Jason thought he was speaking to him, but he said more. "But you're not done yet. You're not leaving me again. I won't let you."
In that moment Jason felt all his anger slip away. He didn't care what Jonathan said to him. He didn't hate him. He never did. There wasn't a moment in his life that he didn't regret the things he said to him in the woods, but Angel and Taylor were right. His pride got in the way of everything. Not anymore, he thought as he stood up.
Jason approached his son. He pulled up a chair next to him, laid his hand on his shoulder and just sat there. Jonathan didn't pull away or even say a word. They just say there together, a father and son. The past few years seemed to disappear and Jason was going to do anything in his power to keep Amber alive. Jonathan was not going to go through what he had to when Claire died. That was one pain that he didn't need to carry on his already burdened shoulders.
But for some reason Jason had an urge-a brief flash in his mind-to get as far as he can from Jonathan, and it scared him.
Aro watched the first Vampire pace in his room. Cody Evans seemed distressed as he raked his hands through his hair. He felt a coy smile come to his face. "Something wrong, dear one?"
Cody glared at him. "I'm no 'dear one' to you. I could kill you where you stand without lifting a finger. Remember that." He growled.
"And yet I'm still here."
"Lucky for you Claire needs you in this plan. If she didn't you would be dead, Aro. Make no mistake about that."
"Then what's bothering you, oh king?" sarcasm was just about dripping from Aro's mouth when he spoke.
Cody shoved Aro against the wall. "You don't understand what's at stake do you? You can't fathom what could happen if this doesn't work."
"Doesn't work? I thought the plan was full proof? Or is that just your ego talking?"
"There's nothing wrong with the plan. Claire and I have gone through every scenario. There is nothing that we haven't thought of that could happen. We took precautions. Were ready for anything."
"I still fail to see what's bothering you then."
Cody sat down on the cold, marble floor. He put his head on his knees. "I brought her back wrong."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Wrong." Cody said louder. "I brought Claire back wrong."
"Is that possible? Claire is still Claire even in death."
"You don't understand how the world works. When something dies it's supposed to stay dead. I broke one of the biggest rules by bringing her back."
"Still lost, Cody."
"When a soul is separated from its body, it's supposed to stay like that. The soul isn't supposed to go back to the body. Claire isn't as complete as she was when she was still "alive". Since she died as a human we didn't burn her body and the Vampire in her stayed in the body, just dead. Now that Claire is back in the body, so is the Vampire and it's very much awake."
"That's bad?"
Cody sighed. "The Vampire is no longer a part of her. Her soul and Vampire were ripped from each other. Those kinds of things don't mix once they're separated."
"And that means…?"
"I didn't bring her back as strong as she was when she was alive. The Vampire is stronger. That means that the Vampire wants out and wants control of the body. I've already seen the nature of it spilling through her slowly." Cody threw a lamp that was on the wooden table he sat next to. "Claire's slowly being consumed by the Vampire inside her."
"I fail to completely see the problem. Wouldn't it be better to have the Vampire? I don't completely trust Claire when she says she's going to kill her family. She loves them."
"Pure Vampires-Nephilim-have no morals, you fool. She'll kill us and everything in her path. Why do you think God wiped them from the Earth? If one as bloody strong as Claire is set loose on the Earth then all Hell will break loose. Everything will fall apart. She'll recreate the old race of Vampires much stronger than ourselves if we don't stop her."
"Stop her?" Aro asked.
Cody stood up and brushed the dirt from his shirt. He combed through his hair and put it back into its proper shape. To any other person he would look like a Greek God, not a man who just freaked on the floor. He hid his fear and pain well.
"Yes, stop her. We're going to have to kill her."
The touch of my father's hand on my shoulder was unexpected, but I was too busy staring at Amber to really react. I didn't want to take my eyes off of her for even one second.
I wondered briefly for a moment if Jason and I would ever be the same two people as we were a long time ago. If we could be friends again. If we could overlook all the hurt words and actions from the past years and just move on from it. If we could somehow just enjoy each other's presence.
I knew the answer long before I even thought about the question: No, we weren't ever going to be like we used to. There's something between us that I can't quite figure out, but I know its pushing us apart. Even as he sits close to me my instinct is telling me to push his hand off my shoulder and go to the farthest part of the room from him. I don't understand why I now all of a sudden have that feeling, but I do. I didn't even have it while we were fighting about my girl issues. It seemed like right after I phased for the first time that I felt the distance between us, but I also could have been so wrapped up in women that I wouldn't have noticed so I don't know. I wish I did, but I don't. Jason and I will never be friends. That's the end of it.
I looked sadly at Amber, wishing she would just wake up, and that maybe some part of my old life would fit back together. Then maybe I wouldn't feel as badly as I do now. The pain wasn't the same as when I tried to kill myself, but it was getting close. I if I lost Amber I don't know what I would do. I probably would try to kill myself again. Without her my life wasn't worth living. If she wanted to leave then that was fine, but for her to die…I couldn't imagine a world without her.
And this time when I try to claim my life, I thought, Amber Bay won't be there to stop me.
I quickly shook that thought. Amber, no matter who she is, hated the fact that people killed each other and even killed themselves. It didn't matter if she hated me; she'd hate me more if I killed myself. I shook my head, feeling my mind wearing down from all the stress.
My chair made a slight noise as I stood up. "I'm going to bed." I announced and slid in my bed next to Amber. I kept a nice distance from her body, not wanting to jostle her in her sleep. "Wake me when Carlisle gets here."
I could hear everyone moving almost silently as they left my apartment.
"We'll come back when Carlisle gets here, Jonathan. Sleep tight." Angel said as she kissed my forehead. I smiled slightly at the motherly gesture. The door shut after that and I knew they were gone.
I relaxed my body to get ready for sleep and shut my eyes. On instinct I grabbed Amber's hand, but this time it was different. As our flesh touched it felt like I was being pulled into my mind.
And then it all went black.
Amber Bay was dreaming.
She was lying down on the grass as a gentle breeze ruffled through her hair, which was once again long and chocolate colored. She closed her eyes and smiled at the happy feeling she was in. Drugs couldn't give her a feeling like this, the feeling of pure bliss. Amber knew she hadn't felt this way in a long time, except when she saw Jonathan at the bar.
Jonathan. She smiled just thinking about him. His golden hair that felt into perfect curls. She remembered how it bounced when he ran. His perfect eyebrows and beautiful, deep sea, blue eyes. His smile and laugh that sounded like bells ringing through the mountains and his voice that reminded her of smooth river running through a stream. His shoulders that were perfect for her head when she leaned on him and his strong arms that just knew how to hold her right. She could almost feel his tender touch as he brushed her hair from her face or when he loved her. She knew what his mouth felt like and how it moved with hers. Amber was perfect for him and he was perfect for her.
At least in her world he was.
In the real world Cody wouldn't let her anywhere near him, but here she could fantasize about him all she wanted. She could be in love with him and no one could tell her that she wasn't allowed to be with him.
"Jonathan." She breathed, her own voice sounding like a shimmering bell.
Amber then felt arms constrict around her gently. She opened her eyes, startled. There, lying next to her was Jonathan Greenfield. It must be my mind, she thought. It's giving me what I want. But she couldn't shake the feeling that it was real, that Jonathan was actually here.
"Amber?" Jonathan asked as he looked around the small field they were lying in.
Amber, still smiling brilliantly that her mind finally gave her Jonathan in her dream, twisted around so she was facing him. "Hello, my love." She kissed him.
It took Jonathan a small amount of time, she realized, for him to kiss her back. For some reason he was bewildered at the fact that he was here. It didn't matter to her though. She was in her own little world with her lover holding her and she couldn't be happier.
Jonathan pulled away and really looked at her. "Your hair? You look like you used to."
"Because I'm still me, silly." Amber laughed.
"But you left me. The drugs, the alcohol. You cut your hair." He seemed very confused and began to look around in panic again.
"That's who Cody made me." Amber assumed that she made the Jonathan she saw in the bar and since he wasn't real, she told him everything. "I didn't want to leave, but he made me."
"Cody?"
Amber nodded.
Jonathan shook his head. "Now I get it. I'm dreaming." A small smile came to his lips. "I almost thought this was real." He seemed to be criticizing himself.
Amber leaned back in his arms, shaking her head. "No, my dear, this is my dream. I made you. I brought you here."
Jonathan laughed this time. "I don't think so, babe. I fell asleep next to you in my apartment. Carlisle's coming in the morning to help you. You had a drug overdose."
Amber had a flash of an alley right after Jonathan left. It was blurry but she remembered a man who looked like Jonathan come and pull a guy off of her before picking her up and carrying her somewhere. Then her mind went blank. He was telling the truth.
Amber gasped. "It's real."
"Excuse me?"
"It's real!" Amber yelled, sitting up. "Jonathan this is real!" a million thoughts passed through her mind. The first thing was that this all was real and that Jonathan was somehow in her mind. But this wasn't really the first time. She remembered speaking in his mind somehow in times of distress. Now he was in her mind and she could talk to him. The second thought was if Cody was listening. She doubted it. If he could then he would have stopped it long before. The connection wouldn't have even been made.
"What are you talking about?"
"Look I don't know how much time we have, but this is real. Remember when I could speak into your mind sometimes? Well this is like that. Were both dreaming and were here together. You have to trust me."
Jonathan shook his head. "I don't believe this." He started to pull away from her.
Amber grabbed his arm. "No, Jonathan, please listen to me! What I said about Cody was true. He made me leave you. Don't trust him. He's up to something. Jonathan, I love you. I always have. I didn't want to leave." She was started to speak in such a rush she couldn't even understand herself.
It finally seemed to dawn on him that what she was saying might actually be truth. "You still love me?"
"With all my heart, Jonathan." She kissed him.
He kissed her back, clutching her to him. "I love you." He whispered to her.
"I love you, Jonathan. I told you not to forget. Don't forget, okay? I love you. Please, don't forget, Jonathan."
It seemed like Jonathan was thinking about what she said and she hoped he was putting it together from all the times she told him she loved him and to not forget it. But he didn't have time to respond before he disappeared.
"Jonathan!" Amber yelled, but there was just silence. Then there was a sharp pain in her chest that caused her to scream. It was burning inside her like a fire. Amber thrashed on the ground before there was a sucking feeling in her head and it all went black.
And then Amber opened her eyes.
