Author's Note
Hiya guys! So thank you all again for the support on the last chapter. I know I say this for almost every chapter but thank you. I may be a bit late on this update so I am sorry for that but I had to celebrate my brother's birthday and school is coming very close which means I start school next week but I still am going to be updating regularly so no need to worry. I hope you guys just sit and enjoy~
Title - Fall for You [Chapter Twelve]
Summary - Being in love is amazing, but when you're in love with your best friend who is getting married, it's not the greatest feeling in the world to see her engaged. Still I rather sacrifice my happiness for hers. If that means keeping in my feelings, then that's exactly what I'm going to do. (G!P)
Words - 11.1k
Rating - M
Disclaimer - I do not own Glee. This is an alternative universe. Also no profit is not being made.
Santana left my apartment yesterday morning when Charlie came over to pick her up. I guess she came back to the city before her business trip was even over. This time when she leaves things are different–good different. I feel confident this time around and I think by her texting me almost every second helps. And by that I know she is really trying this time.
The blizzard left New York in a hectic state so things are really crazy for everyone now since people are just catching up on the days missed from work or school and shit like that. I guess that is why everyone is literally bumping into me now as I'm walking down the busy sidewalks. I just saw this guy literally drop all his shit from his suitcase making the sidewalks even harder to walk on, I mean I would have helped but then something suddenly caught my attention from him and my thoughts.
Santana
She's walking across the street from me on the sidewalk with a cup of coffee.
(Not really surprised since everyone knows that the Latina has to have her coffee.)
But what makes me gasp in hurt is that as she walks a bit faster revealing another girl who I recognize as Charlie. They are not holding hands like a regular couple so I guess that's a good sign–I guess. I would go over there to say my greetings but I decide to just keep on walking. I really should just go over there and catch up with them but something inside me just tells me to keep walking. My thoughts are going all over the place, so really I'm just walking back and forth on the sidewalk like raging idiot. "Uh–maybe I should go over there." I mutter to myself which officially makes me a crazy person. I take the last ounce of courage I have and decide to run across the street to them. I accidentally bump into a taxi causing a lot of honks and yelling from impatient New Yorkers. I expertly swerve through the street keeping the couple in my sight.
"Santana." I gasp showing how tired I am while clutching my knees and literally gasping for air. Santana looks around her to make sure she's actually not imagining me literally right in front of her and Charlie. "Bee?" She then comes up to me when she finally realizes the reality and as I lift my head I see Charlie shifting all her weight on one foot waiting impatiently for Santana and I can tell she's surprised by my sudden arrival.
"What are you doing here?" She laughs at me and it makes my heart grow ten times bigger just hearing the sound just forgetting about the girl behind her. She then suddenly hugs me and behind to shift her head towards my ear and here we are giggling and blushing over each other in the middle of the busy sidewalk with Charlie watching the scene with eyes I seem to have never recognize. "You look very beautiful." I hear the Santana whisper softly in my ear before pulling away from the hug making me instinctively pout at her. She then laughs again at my adorableness and that is when Charlie then walks up to us making the surrounding around us become indulge in a bearing silence.
"So Brittany nice to see you again." She then sticks her hand out letting a half-assed smile plaster on her face. I don't show any emotion and just shake her hand quickly with Santana standing awkwardly to the side. "Yeah you too." I stick my hands back inside my warm pockets as my messenger bag begins to slip down making my fix it by rolling my shoulders expertly to shift it back in place.
"Actually Charlie, can me and Brittany have a minute alone?" I see Charlie open her mouth to hesitate at Santana's request but then she lets out a tight-lipped smile at both of us before turning away walking to a random building and eventually pulling out her phone as she leans against the wall with her feet propped. I see a slight angry look on her face but I then ignore it as Santana begins to talk.
"I think I should tell Charlie tonight." She nods towards the girl by the wall and then looks back at me. I can't help but let a smile wash over my face with gleaming blue eyes and that look make Santana blush knowing that the look I have is only for her and for her only. "So where are you going to stay after you leave her?" That makes her stop blushing and look at me with her own hopeful face on as she then tell me her response. "Well I was thinking maybe I could move back in the apartment with you?" She wiggles her eyebrows in suggestion making me giggle loudly at that makes Charlie over there lift her head looking at us. But we both just ignore that.
"Yeah I think you could I mean I did want this hot Latina girl to move in with me." I flirt with her as I then wiggle my own eyebrows along with her. She then lets out a humming noise that comes from her throat before really answering me back in a flirtatious tone as well. "Well good thing I am a Latina then." I giggle at her and we actually just stand there looking at each other before she says one last thing before she leaves.
"I love you." Leaving me with my mouth slightly open she then taps my nose before skipping off in the opposite direction making Charlie follow along with her like a lost puppy. I then close my mouth and give the still busy sidewalk a small smile before turning around walking away too.
God she is going to be the death of me.
VxxVxxVxxV
"So how did your 'Rachel' scenario go?" I smirk before taking a sip out of my mug filled with a hot steaming caffeine while sitting on the sofa with Quinn also next to me with her feet propped up on the coffee table and a fashion magazine open wide in her hands.
"Rachel came back to my place after the storm but before that she did stop by her own apartment to get her things or something like that–I don't know–but we did have a big argument, so she kept saying that I should trust her more and shit that I can't even really remember and I was angry at her that she was even with him. And now we aren't talking at the moment." The short-haired blonde sighs as she brings the magazine in front of her face covering her expression, but it really doesn't hide the fact that she is practically sniffling behind that paper magazine.
"Wait how did the fight even start?" I ask scrunching my eyebrows in question while setting the blue mug down on the coaster set already on the table in front of both of us. I bring my legs up turning my body towards the other blonde ready to hear and eventually comfort Quinn. "I-I don't even know." She sighs heavily before bring her hand up to just wipe a stray tear that trails its way down her pale slight rosy cheek.
I see her open her mouth and then speak again before I even get a chance to question her. "One minute I was hugging her like I was the happiest girl in the world and in the next we just began fighting literally making the stray dogs bark and neighbors yell." She exclaims with her hands just flailing around and I swear she almost hit me with that magazine she is holding.
"Maybe you should just apologize to her." I give her a short simple answer and she still remains with a sad stubborn look still plastered on her face. I shake my head almost laughing at how alike her and Santana are. God they're both so stubborn. "She should apologize first–I mean she's the one who was hanging out with the freaking douche anyways." I sigh myself just like she did before and mine shows slight frustration but I am used to this from Quinn where she doesn't like to be the first one to step up or take blame.
"Q." I say in a firm voice where she knows I'm trying to convince her to do the right thing. "But Britt, I mean she told me she was hanging out with him and she happened to be stuck in his apartment for the storm. Who the fuck the just hangs out with their ex when they do happen to see each other in the grocery store?" I open my mouth about to say something to her because I see her break down in front of me and the scene makes my stomach clench uncomfortably.
"But she didn't even think about me when she even made the decision to go to his apartment." Quinn shake her head as I try to reach for her and decides to just bury her face into the palm of her hands. I hear even more sniffles and sobs before a wash of empathy comes over me because I know how she feels now.
Where the love of her life just hurts her.
It's the most fucking painful thing that you can ever experienced.
(No exaggeration needed.)
"Come on Quinn, how about you stay here with me for the night–you know to get your mind from things to just think for a while." Successfully the blonde nods and I smile at her before tell her another plan for what we can do tonight. "Okay so I'm going to go down to the corner store to pick up some tubs of ice cream, a couple of beers, and I'll even pick up a movie." She nods once again like before and she practically looks like she has something stuck inside her throat when she just swallows constantly.
"I'll be right back."
With that I run quickly out the apartment ready to buy supplies to cheer up the hurting blonde that is now curled up on my sofa with tears running down her face.
VxxVxxVxxV
I take a few budlights out of the cold fridge before just tossing it into the red basket gently for it not to practically shatter and spill the alcohol everywhere. I go into another aisle seeing if I needed anything else for the apartment. I become so engrossed at the variety of chips that I bump into someone in front of me.
"Oops, I am so sorry." After looking down on the floor checking if the stranger or myself dropped anything, but when I looked up I this wasn't a stranger.
It's Santana.
The name echoes inside my head as I inspect her attire with her looking at me when I trail my eyes up and down her body. Santana wear sweatpants and an oversized hoodie with her hair in a messy bun while her glasses are propped against her tan nose.
"Bee?" She questions before letting a slight smile come across her face.
Well at least she seems happy to see me at least.
"What are you doing here?" She speaks up again breaking me out of my thoughts and obviously checking her out from head to toe. I fiddle with the basket handle while answering back to her just to keep my nervous and excited hands busy. "I'm actually just picking up stuff for the apartment since Quinn and I are having are having a–actually I don't really know what to call it but basically it's for her to cheer up since she had a fight with Rachel so she is just staying at mine for the rest of the night." I finish with a hunger for air knowing I didn't take a breather when I was talking. I notice Santana herself fiddling with the product she has in her hand as she finally opens her mouth up to speak.
"I haven't talked to Quinn in awhile, how is she actually?"
The sad tone in her voice is very clear and it makes me feel slight sad as well knowing that we all were best friends but Quinn just decides on a bias decision to just pick my side and not Santana. Which means Quinn is practically ignoring the Latina for the past weeks but I also do remember that they met up for coffee, but that was forever ago.
"How about you come to mine and then ask her yourself?" I try to perk up her face by my sudden suggestion and thankfully it kind of works seeing know she has small smile at the thought of coming back to the apartment with me. I don't want sound selfish but I kinda wish Quinn wasn't at my apartment so I can be alone with the Latina.
"You don't have plans with Charlie–because if you are then y-you really don't have to come back with me–I mean–" I finish setting the stuff on the counter in front of the chubby man with a very hairy mustache growing above his upper lip and that is when she interrupts me from my rambling. "Bee, I don't have any plans with her. I mean she is working late today so it doesn't matter really because I really just wanna hang out with you. Plus Quinn." The ring from the counter breaks us out of each other stares and hearing the man say the total I instantly take out my wallet from the pocket of my loose sweatpants. "I got it." Santana perks up and reaches for the money herself in her jacket but I am too fast for her to even take out the wallet because of now I have already gave the man the money.
"Nope I've got it."
She smiles back at me and grabs the bags just return the favor and as we both walk out the glass door plastered with random ads we go in the same direction towards the apartment.
VxxVxxVxxV
"Quinn, I'm home!" I yell excitedly as I'm walking through the door and my cheery mood is probably because of the Latina behind me with the bag in her hand. I have the other two bags since I begged her halfway to let her give me the bags to carry and after begging her for almost five minutes.
I see Quinn sit up rubbing her eyes since I guess she has watched the bright television ever since I've been gone. Her green eyes go wide once she sees Santana come from behind me following through the door. "Hey Quinn." Santana, herself, also rasps out a quiet greeting that I don't think Quinn would have heard if she wasn't watching our every move like a hawk "What is she doing here?" Quinn's harsh tone is very noticeable and I see Santana flinch at the tone of it.
"She's hanging out with us tonight." I say simply while putting the things I bought at the store right in front of the short-haired blonde before walking towards Santana who is still nervously standing by the brown door. I grab Santana's hands and by the touch she instantly smiles in relief. I touch her cheek before whispering quietly to her so the other blond could not hear. "Everything is going to be okay, I love you." Santana then smiles one more time before taking the lead and by grabbing my hand we both end up on the sofa noticing Quinn had moved a few spaces just for us to sit down next to her.
"Well what should we do first?"
And not surprised they both respond at the same time with the same answer.
"Drink."
VxxVxxVxxV
A few beers and scoops of ice cream later we all are just sitting on the sofa in the middle of the dark living room watching the movie with Justin Timberlake in it but I guess I wasn't really paying attention since I am a little drunk but I decide to just keep my blue eyes on the Latina curled on my side with her head on my shoulder. I hear Quinn yawn once the credits start rolling and then she turns to the both of us opening her mouth to speak. "I think it's time for me to go home actually." She then checks her phone and when I become too curious on what she keeps staring at I tilt my head to see.
Rachel is all over her lock screen from the notifications of text messages and calls.
"Maybe you should go over there and talk to her." Surprisingly Santana says something to Quinn because since we've been here together in the room the two only exchange a few words to each other. Quinn is kind of in shock too when she hears the Latina's raspy tone echo around the quiet room.
"Yeah I think so." Quinn runs to the door and she's a bit wobbly from the one beer she had with us but she's seems too sober and pumped up to go and see her girlfriend. "Bye guys, I'll call you tomorrow!" She yells before slamming the door and it makes Santana and I giggle while staring at the now close door.
"Do you want to watch another movie? Or do you have to go too?" Santana shakes her head before getting up from the sofa making the slight leather sound as she walks towards the shelf that has my collection of movies on display.
"So how's school?" I announce while still sitting on the sofa with my hands splayed across the back of the leather as I am looking at the backside of Santana. "Uh–you know it's been really cool so far." The Latina shrugs her shoulder but I don't get to see her face of emotion though.
"Okay." I bring the 'y' in a longer tone just to emphasize my answer. And when a silence blossoms across the room I have the urge to ask her another question, so I do. "San, what movie are you even picking because you've stood there for like five minutes?"
Santana says quiet for a few moments that officially make me worried. "Santana?" I question walking up behind her and that's when I realize what she is looking at. It's a black book and it only takes a second until I notice something familiar about this book.
It's our scrapbook we put together during middle school.
"Wow, I forgot I even had this laying around here." I wave my hand and she doesn't even notice with her eyes literally stuck on the very decorated cover. I smile at the memory of how crazy I went with the duck and rainbow stickers that are kind of faded now but it still has the color.
"Wanna look at it?" Santana finally talks to me from her moment of silence and when I nod she takes that for a yes and I then follow along with her to the sofa.
Well here we go.
VxxVxxVxxV
"You looked so cute Bee." She points at the picture where I was missing my left front tooth while Santana's arm is splayed across my shoulder with the sprinkler on in the background.
"Aww so back then I was cute huh?" The playfulness in my tone definitely shows through and it makes Santana then look u and smile at me. "No I think now too." She giggles when she sees me then raise my eyebrows at her.
"Oh you think?" She giggles once more before flipping the page again revealing the last page in the scrapbook. I think it's my favorite actually–it's where we both get caught in the moment and I think my mom actually took that picture. Santana is leaning against my shoulder with my arm across her as we both lean on the bark of the tree I have in my backyard. It was the day where we were freshman in out first day of high school. We were even going to camping at our favorite spot that night too, I guess that's why I had such a big smile on my face as she was sleeping against me.
"That's my favorite picture." She traces around the grass displaying on the picture and then without me knowing a yawn comes through me.
"You tired?" She had tears in her eyes and not from the ones her she's sad, but tired.
I nod my head letting the sleep consume me as I'm too tired to even walk towards my room. I feel Santana let's me cuddle up to her chest as I fall into a deep sleep with a warm feeling in my chest.
Because I know I am this close to finally getting my girl.
VxxVxxVxxV
"I think I'm going to tell Charlie tonight when she comes home from work." Santana says finally and I decide to keep quiet but not voluntarily but it's because I'm speechless.
"Really?" The word finally breaks from my throat and it's sounds familiar to me because I remember myself asking the same question to her the night she confessed her feelings to me.
"I'm ready." The firm tone makes me even more confident and I imagine her nodding her head with the phone stuck to her ear.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"Would you?" She whispers in to the phone with a scared voice knowing that tonight is going to be hard for her.
"Yeah San I will."
VxxVxxVxxV
It all happened so fast, I mean one minute we were just talking on the phone an hour go and now I'm getting a frantic call from Quinn saying I needed to be at the hospital pronto. I asked her what's going on but she had already hung up the phone. Adrenaline is practically rushing in me as I run out of the yellow car to the hospital that Quinn told me to go to.
I run into the building and there is a few people I don't even know and then there was Santana standing in the middle of the waiting room walking back and forth in a weird box-shape with her head focused to the white tiled floor. "San, what happened?"
Quinn then comes up behind me as I search for some answers and when I open my arms to Santana she then tackles me into a hug and then I knew she was waiting for me to come.
"It's Charlie."
The Latina's head is still on my shoulder just hiding herself away from the world by using my body. "What happened to her?"
Quinn then answers and brings me into a state of shock and guilty.
"She just fainted."
VxxVxxVxxV
I'm a bit confused for why the girl fainted but once the doctor and nurse came up to us and explained what was going on, things started to set in. They said she was in a lot of stress, she fainted in the middle of her office with her assistant discovering her body crumpled up on the floor. The red-headed nurse allowed us to go in and check on Charlie since Santana told her that she was Charlie's fiancée.
I stand here awkwardly leaning against the door frame watching Santana look at Charlie with a sad look matching the rest of her gloomy body. It makes me wonder how things even got like this to be exact, I mean we were just about to tell Charlie that Santana was going to leave her for me.
I know it's a bit selfish to even think about this when Charlie is literally sleeping in a hospital bed. The doctor said she's going to wake up today or maybe even tomorrow with her being healthy enough to leave the next day after she wakes.
Santana and I alone in a very cold hospital room with her unconscious fiancée sleeping right in front of us.
Well isn't this romantic?
Quinn left about ten minutes ago to go get us some coffee and maybe something to eat if they had anything good in the cafeteria.
"Brittany, when she wakes up what are we going to do?"
Santana turns away from the single white bed towards me with the question still lingering her plump lips as her brown eyes literally dig inside me reading everything I have to offer. And that makes me feel even more vulnerable.
"I don't know, San. I don't know." I give her my honest answer that I can think of and Santana gives me a tight-lipped smile before looking at the television that's playing the news.
I walk into the room taking slow steps at a time and I think Quinn told me that everyone in the waiting had already left leaving there gifts on the side of Charlie once they realize that she just fainted and is not in a life or death situation. "If you want some time before telling her–I understand I guess things are complicated now with shit that happens but if you do need time then I understand." I blurt out the bunches of words that were just dying to come out and I can't help but smile sadly once I see Santana then look at me with a blank expression making me think that she agrees with me.
"What? No Bee we don't have to wait forever I mean it is kinda bad if we were to just throw this all on her but we will tell her after she recovers and let's go of some stress. But I promise Bee that we are going to tell her."
Before agreeing with her I ask one more question just to get rid of my worries.
"Are you serious? Because I don't want you to make promises that you can't keep."
Santana walks up to me with her hands out ready to grab mine and when she does she then responds to me. "I mean it–" Before she can even answer Quinn makes a sudden appearance through the door making Santana and I quickly pull apart.
"Uhh, got us some coffee?" The blonde notices the awkwardness blooming in the air and that is why she then gives us our coffee to just hopefully change the subject.
But she doesn't succeed because nothing can change my mind about Santana.
VxxVxxVxxV
"Okay thank you doc." Santana walks back into the room plopping down on the chair next to the bed with my eyes following her every move. Quinn had already left because Kurt wanted her to come home for dinner. And to be completely honest I would have left to if Santana wasn't here.
Charlie's phone was on the dresser next to her which makes me kind of annoyed when I keep hearing a catchy ringing go off if I am trying to take a nap which is completely impossible because this chair is uncomfortable and the current tweets just keep repeating.
"Well Charlie is in good shape so when she wakes I am in the clear to just bring her home with me." With that I decide to stay quiet realizing I have nothing to say since I can't help but wince at the way she refers Charlie's condo to her home.
"Brittany do you want to go home? I mean you don't have to say?" She notices my sudden quietness and decides to question it leaving me no option other than to give her an answer knowing I'm shocked at her for even asking that because I would stay here forever if she needed me to.
"No I'm not going to go home and leave you here alone. We're best friends so that means we are going to be stuck with each other no matter what." I give her the reassurance and the confession makes her cheeks tinge in rosy red. She smiles while tilting her head down to her fumbling hands just to hide her face.
"Just best friends?" Santana questions and I only realize it after a moment before shaking my head to get my eyes from the adorable Latina. "No San, we are more than best friends, but until you talk to Charlie I guess best friends is all we can be even if I want more."
Before she can even answer we both are suddenly distracted by the humming noise we hear from Charlie who is now trying to wake up. The noise comes from her throat as she suddenly begins to think where she was with her eyes trying their hardest just to open.
"Santana." The crack in Charlie's voice is so noticeable and it makes Santana quickly get up from the chair to grab the glass of water on top of the dresser so she can give it to Charlie.
"I'm here." That is all Santana says while watching the stressed out girl in front of her. Again I sit here silently just watching the couple talk quietly among each other and the scene literally makes me want to leave and run towards home.
But then again Santana stops me from leaving once again by the thought of her floating into my mind.
"What happened to me?" Santana then turns her head over her shoulder just to signal me to come over and when I do Santana then explains to Charlie why she is in here in the first place.
"You fainted, Char. You were in a lot of stress and you fainted over it when you were in your office and that is when Stephanie, your assistant, found you lying on the floor." Santana finishes and Charlie becomes worried about her health. When Santana notices her change in demeanor making her add something in reassurance.
"The doctor said that you need to take a break from the office and suggested you go to therapy to let things off your chest." Charlie then nods before asking one more question.
"Well why is Brittany here then?"
VxxVxxVxxV
Charlie points her limp finger towards me and that makes Santana then turn around with her mouth open as if a cat got her tongue. "I–uh–I called her." Santana scrunches her face knowing how bad her answer was and I can see that she's practically begging for some help.
"Santana called me because she didn't want to be alone." I see Charlie become unfazed and just shrugs her shoulders. Charlie knows that me and Santana share a bond that no one ever could before with one another. It took her awhile to understand it really but then time passed and she realized that we were basically going to be close to each other as best friends and she couldn't stop us from getting even closer.
But she accepted it.
"When do I leave? I depressed and miserable already." Charlie sighs while slapping her hand against her forehead softly just for exaggeration. Santana then tells Charlie the time she can leave which was tomorrow. So back and forth the two were just talking about things that I didn't even know about.
I felt left out from them as they just develop their own little bubble around. I don't even think Santana would notice if I were gone. That is the thought that suddenly pushes me to leave and when I do go I don't even look back, surprised at my desperate escape I then become tired from my lack of sleep making me find the nearest wall to slide against it.
Slumped up on the floor with my head tilted up to the ceiling I then hear familiar footsteps of boots come down the hallway and even quicker than I thought because now the Latina is standing in front of me with questioning eyes.
"Why did you leave?" Santana slides her back against the wall to sit down next to me in an indian style. I sigh with my eyes still focusing on the white ceiling just so I couldn't face the piercing warm brown eyes that were staring at the side of my head waiting for me to answer.
"I don't know."
I then hear Santana whisper my name quietly and that makes me know that she didn't believe me.
"Tell me Bee." Santana waits for my response and with the war going on inside my head. Going with a quick decision I realize that honesty is the best way to go for us in this case. "I just didn't like seeing you with her."
I give her my honest answer finishing it with a pout and lace of jealousy come through my body once the thought comes through my mind. Santana lets out a laugh which makes me confused when noticing nothing is funny.
"Bee, nothing is going to happen between Charlie and I because I don't love her. And I don't think I ever have been." I continue to look at her waiting for her to finish talking. "I only have eyes for this one girl who had my heart before anyone ever had. So how am I supposed to give Charlie my heart if you already had it Bee."
I smile and blush just at the cheesy comment that comes from Santana and I really want to kiss her now. The urge is suddenly interrupted by the running nurses and doctors just running down the hallway with a gurney. "Wow who knew Santana Lopez was so cheesy?" My response makes her gush embarrassingly which makes my smile wider.
"I don't even know, I think it's because of you here Miss Pierce." She then points at my ribs make me laugh and stretch out my legs in surprise. I then laugh behind my hands one more time before talking to her.
"I have class tomorrow morning." She groans knowing I have to leave soon to make it home in time to sleep. She then stands up sticking her hand out for me to grab it and when I do she grabs me off the floor.
"Do you really have to go?" Santana juts out her bottom with her face tilting up to give her pout more effect with she bashes her eyelashes. With that motion I laugh at her silliness and bring my lips over to the side of her face planting a kiss on her now blushing cheek. "I'll call you later, okay?"
I wave my hand at her before spinning quickly back around now facing the entrance doors.
"Okay!"
I smile with my head faced away from her loving the sound of her boots walking against the floor feeling as though she also has a small smile on her face as well. And that is what makes me stay smiling until I am back at the apartment.
When I reach my bed I can't help but dive in and quickly fall asleep with that still smile plastered on my face knowing I have Santana's heart when she has mine.
VxxVxxVxxV
"Alright! 5,6,7,8!" Mike claps his hands together signaling the counts for the dancers to follow. I face the mirror watching the dancers behind me as I dance gracefully in front of them. But my mind isn't focused on the dance moves as my body is.
I got a text from Santana saying that both girls have left the hospital already and they are back at Charlie's condo. Apparently since Charlie fainted over stress her office has told her to take a break and just relax. And to me that means now Santana is spending more time with Charlie, so with the girl taking off from work she now has more time with the Latina. The thought has been in my mind all day, and that is why I keep tripping over steps and forgetting the routine.
God Santana is going to be the death of me.
I just can't get her and Charlie off of my mind–it is like it is impossible. I don't even notice that everyone has finished the routine with me still dancing like a fool in front of the mirror. Thankfully the other dancer are too tired to even notice me and when I stop I so happen to see Mike look at me with questioning eyes and it makes me sigh in a frustration knowing I feel embarrassed and that I'm about to be in a very annoying interrogation from Chang.
"Don't worry Mike." I wave him off before planting my hands on either side of my hips hoping that this was enough to get him of my back–and not very in a much state of surprise because Mike comes over towards me with his face wearing a questioning look just like before.
"What's wrong? I mean just a few days ago you were all happy and it seem like you were feeling the dance moves." Mike's voice come into my ear and I become blank not knowing what to say to my dance partner, so I then decide to just shrug my shoulders but I then see that it doesn't help one bit.
"Come on Bee, I see you almost everyday so I that means I can tell if something is up. I don't want you to feel pressured by anything but if something is wrong you can tell me." Mike's reassuring voice sounds very tempting to just tell him what's up.
"I'll eventually tell you Mike but it's just so complicated right now that I don't even know what to tell you." I give him my most honest answer I can muster from my mind and that is the one that achieves the home run for Mike. Because now he nods in understanding and begins to bring the dancers over to do counts one last time.
This time is the same for me, but at least it's time to go home now.
VxxVxxVxxV
"Did she really invite us both here?" Quinn looks at me with a to-go container of food in her hands as I ring the buzzer on the side of the gate. The neighborhood is so nice that this place must have cost a fortune. but Charlie is a lawyer so I'm not very surprised.
"Well I just wanted you to come with me so I wouldn't be alone." I hit the buzzer again and that is when we both hear a raspy voice come through the speaker saying for us to come up.
"So when are you going to tell me what's been going on between you and Santana?" I turn my head to her with a slight scared look on my face. "What do you mean?"
"I me–" Quinn stops talking once the elevator reaches its destination allowing us to go into the condo. I see the living room first when we step on the warm hardwood floors. I kind of curse the timing of the arrival since I really wanted to know what Quinn was going to say but somehow I am grateful knowing we might have been stuck in a serious conversation.
"Hey Bee." Santana comes up to me once she sees me and Quinn from the open elevator doors. With Santana's head on my shoulder with my arms wrapped around her waist I can obviously see Charlie cooking at the kitchen with an apron tied around her waist.
"Hi San." I whisper softly into her ear leaving a lingering kiss to her ear closest to my mouth with no one noticing. When Quinn's couch interrupts us I realize that when Quinn has a knowing smirk on her face that she definitely saw my kiss of innocence.
"Hey Q." Then the Latina give the blonde an awkward hug before quickly pulling away. Quinn gives the Latina the food before I give her the bottle of wine I had bought before. Santana gives us a 'thanks' and big grateful smile. She then turns around towards the kitchen signaling us to follow her.
Hours before Santana had texted me if I wanted to come over to have dinner at the condo. I hesitated before replying her text but a thought comes in my mind for the idea of inviting Quinn along just for me not to be alone with the couple. I've been here once or twice because back then when Santana began dating Charlie, the Latina invited me to come over and meet the new girlfriend. At first I thought nothing big was going to happened.
But boy was I wrong.
"Hey Quinn," Charlie turns from the stove and kisses Santana's cheek while the Latina begins cutting the vegetables on the kitchen island. I can tell she feels uncomfortable by the lips on her cheek. "Brittany." I nod in greeting knowing that Charlie's was half-assed.
I hop on the bar stool next to Quinn once seeing her sit down first. I keep looking at Santana because I can't seem to take my eyes from her. I do feel jealous knowing that her and Charlie are acting like a couple now since both are just cooking in a close proximity of each other. I wish that Santana could do that with me, so together we both can learn how to cook.
We would burn the food on the first try with laughs echoing through the kitchen after I'd grab the fire extinguisher saving the building, We bump each other's hips as we both try to move through and as our skins touch tingles bloom, We would argue over who would wash the dishes, and then eventually we both would make love on the kitchen floor.
Hopefully my dreams can come true very soon
Because I don't know how long I can wait for her, because my hunger for the Latina is growing by the minute.
VxxVxxVxxV
Chewing on the current moist piece of steak in my mouth as the awkwardness spreads throughout the dining room like a contagious disease. Quinn beside me with Santana and Charlie right across from us.
"So what are you studying in Columbia, Quinn?" Charlie cuts her piece of steak bringing the red meat in her mouth waiting for Quinn to answer.
"Actually I'm studying medicine." Charlie nods as if she approves Quinn's major for being a future doctor. Charlie turns her head towards me as if she was going to ask me the same question too. I also notice the Latina become a bit nervous which makes me wonder.
"What about you Brittany?"
"I major in dance." I say simply while cutting another tender piece from my plate still looking at Charlie. Charlie still looks at me with these now disapproving eyes and I then feel Santana's eyes on me as if she was trying to read me.
"Don't you think that's a bit childish?" Charlie takes another bite as if she was being serious and not fazed by my slight angry and questioning glare.
"What do you mean, childish?" I scowl at her before slowly putting down my fork and knife. I hear Quinn shift uncomfortably in her seat making me turn my head just at the noise and that makes me notice even more like her hands clutching the seat making her knuckles become whiter by the second as if she was trying to hold herself back.
"Well do you really think that dance is really going to actually going to bring you somewhere. I mean really you are just one in a million." My own hands clutch the edge of the table making my hands whiter glaring like she was the dumbest person in the world because she doesn't understand what dancing makes me feel. And unlike her I want to do want I love no matter what.
Just as I am about to answer, a raspy tone comes out of the blue with anger becoming more obvious when she said her first word.
"Brittany is amazing at what she does Charlie. And for you to say that then that makes you an idiot and childish." Santana still remains scowling while getting up from her seat making the chair screech. She throws her napkin on the table before walking out of the room.
Charlie doesn't even follow her into the room and she still remains sitting continuing to chew on her steak. I'm not surprised at her actually. I get up throwing one last look at the blonde next to me–she nods her head in understanding–I throw my napkin on the table just like Santana as I, myself, glares at the asshole.
Running into the direction of where Santana had gone in. I don't really know this place, but I know Santana. I go up the ladder towards the roof hoping for the girl to be there. My conclusions are right because here she is hugging herself with her arms around her waist while looking at the view before her. Beautiful is what people would call it and not because of the lights bouncing off the city makes the night more magical but it was just Santana who makes my heart skip a beat. She is the one I notice, she is the one I love, she's the one for me–"San? You okay?"
"I should be asking you that question?" She doesn't even turn to me, she just continues to look forward towards the view. I walk up slowly behind her with my hands dug inside my jean pockets waddling back and forth until I reach the space beside her. "Well things don't work out the way you want them to." I sigh after finishing with my eyes focused on the same thing Santana was. "She just makes me so angry sometimes." I decide not answer back to her knowing she still has a lot to say. "She doesn't even understand. Did you know that it took months just for her to accept that I was majoring in music? She made me feel like I was under her because I wasn't a big time lawyer or a life-saving surgeon."
I step in front of her seeing her grab her cardigan by the side just to warm her up. I grab her hands feeling the warmth that passes through both of us just at the touch of skin, touching her makes me feel warm inside. "Doesn't matter what she says, because you know what Santana Lopez?" I smile at her after finishing my question. Her reaction is just looking up at me with her head tilting just enough to look at me clearly while still looking down to her twiddling feet.
"You are smart, talented, and very beautiful that words don't even describe the way I feel once you walk into a room and practically my heart stops because that is what you do to me Santana. You make me feel greater than civilization itself. I feel like–I–I actually don't have the right words. But don't let her make you feel like you aren't important because to me you are the most important person in my entire life." I point at her chest directly above her heart. She then looks up to fully look at me with her teary warm brown eyes. She then laughs and blushes at my earlier words. Santana swings our hands back and forth with her eyes focusing on me.
But this time is different because this time in those brown eyes she shows love.
"I wish I had been with you first." Santana sighs in regret and that makes her then let go of my hands–making me pout from the loss of touch–and the turn around to go to the edge of the roof top. The light bounces from the city and reflects on the Latina making her face brighten in small ways. "It's not your fault San."
Santana opens her mouth to speak but I immediately stop her by shaking my head. "Let me finish, please." Santana obliges by nodding her head in agreement.
"I was a coward back then. I thought that if I were to tell you I love you than our friendship would be over. And just t-the thought would literally kill me, I couldn't have lived with myself if I would have known that I was the reason my best friend walked away from me. Then I thought that when time comes I could be brave enough to risk it, but then you started dating Charlie." I sniff and wipe the tear that escapes from my eye and Santana watches my every move and listens to every word. "I would watch you and Charlie from afar. I would be so jealous that I can feel the burning in my skin every time I would see you and her together. Then you got engaged to her and my world completely fell apart." Santana hugs herself as tears are running down her eyes not even making trying to stop them knowing there was no point.
"God I was so angry at myself for not telling you the truth about how I felt and that is the biggest regret I have is not being honest with you in the first place. Because now I have to live with the consequences." I begin to let my own tears fall from my face making no attempt to even stop them because there was exactly no point to. "Why did you think I was going to end our friendship just because of that?" She shakes her head as if she was trying to get rid of just the thought of her leaving me.
"Because I was so scared that you wouldn't love me back and then everything would be awkward with each other making you leave just so you wouldn't have to deal with it." I give her my sad answer because that is exactly how I really felt inside where I thought I couldn't be enough for her making her not love me as much as I love her. "Who would wanna be with a freak like me anyways? I mean that question would just repeat inside my head everyday." I let out the smallest of whimper just for bringing up my deepest insecurity.
"Bee, you are not a freak. I don't ever want to hear you call yourself that ever again." She points at me making me realize she wasn't finished. "You are a genius. You are beautiful. You are fucking sexy. You are kind. You are quirky. You're just you, Bee. And that is why I love you so much. It is because you are perfect to me. Our imperfections fit together to make a big perfect mess." Santana explains to with complete sincere in her eyes that are directing towards me.
"I was so afraid that you wouldn't ever love me because you seemed so happy with Charlie. That's why I never brought it up really. You were engaged to get married. How was I supposed to stop you from getting a life that you seemed you were so ecstatic for? Santana you were planning your flowers, picked your wedding dress, and even had a wedding planner ready for you. I just couldn't bring myself to ruin that for you."
I hear the Latina whimper across from me which makes me want to continue because I now I know that she is listening with open ears. "But then things change." My entire tone just changes in an instant to a voice of happiness actually knowing what the possibility of our future could be. "We kissed and that feeling of our lips touching was the best feeling in the world because I poured everything I had into each and every one of those kisses because in that moment–I wasn't scared." I bring my hands over my eyes to wipe both corners when the tears don't stop I just put my hands down limply at my sides. "But you started to ignore me and then my fears were just rushing back quickly thinking 'did I just ruin everything?' because you ignored me Santana and I didn't know what was going on. I thought that you were just kissing me because you were lonely and I couldn't take anymore of you taking advantage of me like that. So I-I j-just told I loved you because I was done waiting for nothing." I bite my bottom lip sucking it into my mouth nervous for the Latina's reaction because I am now giving her all of my secrets that have been practically eating me away in the beginning.
"Bee, the last thing I would ever do would think about taking advantage of you. I was just so scared because I didn't know what I was feeling when it happened. You made everything so confusing to me. I kept ignoring you because I didn't want to face reality that I might actually be falling in love with my best friend. I mean who would ever believe that Santana and Brittany, the best friends who are inseparable, are actually in love with each other. I didn't want to face people always questioning us about how we got together or how we became in love with each other." Santana sniffs hugging her cardigan from her side and decides to button up while still remain looking at me. "And now I don't care what people think because now I know that you love me and I love you then we can just move on from our mistakes and soon we can finally be imperfect together."
Santana then shrugs her shoulders with her half-smile on her face and a look in her eyes that are only destined for me. "Are you cold?" She laughs before rubbing the sides of her arms. I make a move to catch her hands for her to stop and when she lets her hands drop by her sides with her eyes not leaving mine, I then take my own hands a begin to rub her arms up and down loving the way the soft cotton material. "Let's go back inside then because I feel like if we were to continue to stay up here than we will turn into icicles.
She laughs allowing me to grab her hand and lead her back inside.
Ignoring the world around making everyone disappear only to stay with each other.
VxxVxxVxxV
"Bye Santana." Quinn hugs the girl after putting on her blue coat and grabbing her purse that's now hanging on her forearm. Santana smiles at the short-haired blonde and then turns to me by the simply moving her foot back making her swiftly turn. "Bye Bee." I hug her with all I have scared to know that she is going to be alone in this apartment with the asshole sleepy soundly in the master bedroom. "Are you sure you don't want to come home with me?" I whisper into her ear smiling at how red her little ear is.
She nods her head on my shoulder and then she whisper her response back into my ear making a shiver run down my side just at the breath. "Yeah I'm sure." I pull away with my still worried face plastered on while looking at her. "I'll be okay Bee, you don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself." She nods with a smile and I still become slight worried because I couldn't help it.
"I know but I don't want to leave you alone with her." I give her pout which makes Quinn giggle behind us as she stands there waiting for me to leave with her. "Aww, you worry too much. I'll be fine." She kisses me on my cheek and when she pulls back she can see the red tinge on my cheeks that makes her laugh at me. The sound makes my heart beat faster and harder that I actually think that they both can hear it.
"Okay." I finally give Santana a firm answer after a minute of thinking and the I hear the blonde behind me yell out a soft 'yay' before grabbing my hand leading me into the open elevator. "Bye Santana!" Quinn waves as the doors are still open. I blow the Latina a kiss loving the way she pretends to catch it.
"Bye guys!"
I smile to myself imagining Santana in sweats with a smile on her face as she waves us goodbye.
And what I don't notice in the corner is that Quinn catches it all.
VxxVxxVxxV
"So do you want to be dropped off at your place?" I turn away from the window and then to the blonde sitting on the other side with her forehead leaning on the glass watching the view outside.
While I am still looking at the girl waiting for the response she finally gives me one and not one which I expect. Because now the blonde is giving me a knowing smirk that makes me nervous inside.
"Actually I was thinking we would go to a bar to talk." I tilt my head back to emphasize my questioning form and she still remains smirking. After a few second the cab pulls up to this dark bar that is only lit because of the cheesy bright name and the flickering street lamps.
Well this night has become even more interesting.
VxxVxxVxxV
"Now tell me Britt, what is going on between you and Santana?" Quinn brings the bottle of beer to her mouth tilting her head to carry the alcohol down her throat faster. I play with the small drops of water that melts from the beer bottle thinking about what to say to her.
"We just have talked about some things." I gush at just the thought of the Latina. Quinn makes a humming noise that bubbles from her throat and the twists her body to move the stool and face me. "Yes please help me understand those things?"
I hear a smirk in her voice and I decide not to look at her because I know I wouldn't last very long holding everything back. "Quinn why do even want to know?" I ask out of pure curiosity while waiting for her to reply.
"Because I am one of your closest friends and I can't help but want to know why are you so happy now of a sudden?"
"Santana and I–S-Santana and-we have been talking about things and–shetoldmeshelovesmeback." I mutter out the last part so quickly that Quinn might didn't even catch. But by the shocked look on her face she heard everything.
"Wait! You and Santana have been hooking up!?" Quinn yells and in this empty bar the voice echoes making everyone hear. We both turn our head at the same time to check if anyone was paying attention and it just so happens that all eyes were on us, but thankfully a few seconds later a girl hops on stage dancing sexually making all the men and women focus on only her.
"Have you been hooking up with her?" Quinn now whispers to me just loud enough so I can hear her over the hoops and hollers of the excited crowd.
"No we haven't we just had serious talks. And after she talks to Charlie than we'll both just start over and just be finally be together so hopefully the world would stop fucking with us both this time." I shrug my shoulders with a simple answer I give her showing complete happiness shining through my eyes. Quinn stays quiet and in surprise giving me the golden ticket to continue.
"We were talking and it was amazing Q, I mean this time I know it's real because this time I know that she loves me as much as I love her. And that Quinn is all we need for us to be together." Quinn basically swoons at my words as she gives me the smallest of smiles.
"Wait, so after all the times she has hurt you–you're just going to take her back?" The question sucks all the air out of me in shock but I understand where she is coming from, I mean Santana has hurt me lots of times where I practically sobbed to Quinn every night.
"I know Quinn, I know. But I understand now okay. I forgave her Quinn because I know how she felt all those times she ignored me. She was just scared. And I know that feeling, oh fuck yes I do know. Because I was so scared to just tell her I love her because I was scared but now I don't even care what anybody says because now I got the girl." Quinn smiles again at me but this time it's different. The blonde nods in understanding and begins to twiddle with the beer bottle.
"So this is it?" Quinn turns her head to me. "Yeah Quinn this is it." I nod at her before grabbing my bottle and taking a large gulp of that.
"Well at least both of you guys got your heads out of your asses, huh?" Quinn laughs at her words just as she hears me laugh at her silliness. "Yeah Quinn we finally did." I smile at her just then her phone vibrates in her purse making us both stop talking. I look at her while taking another sip of the beer with Quinn across from me checking her phone.
"Who was that?" Pointing my beer towards her. Quinn then looks up at me with the phone in her hand shining bright that is shines on the blonde's face. "Just Rach." I smirk before her making her blush bloom on her cheeks.
"You two made up?" I continue to smirk at her just loving the way her cheeks redden more. Quinn reaches forward to playfully slap my shoulder making me fake hurt by clutching my shoulder. "Yes, in a matter fact we did. And I guess I have to thank Santana for that." Quinn finally admits as she puts her phone back in her purse.
"Well at least we got both of our heads out of our asses then." Quinn laughs at me taking her bottle and drinking out of it fully making the now glass bottle empty.
"So when is she going to leave Charlie then?" Quinn talks to me with no playfulness tone that attacks her voice anymore like just a few seconds ago. I sigh through my nose making my chest expanding more.
"I don't know yet. She told me that she didn't want to stress Charlie more so she said she wants to wait a bit longer.
Quinn gives me a sad smile making me nod in agreement. I bring the rim of the beer bottle to my lips drinking all that I can before we leave.
Home at the apartment is where I want to be now.
Even if my heart says something else.
VxxVxxVxxV
A day later passes and here I am slumping down on the sofa with my eyes directly on the bright television watching a random movie of Netflix. I forgot what's happening since I did order take out earlier before taking a shower while still keeping the movie playing.
A knock on the door and I ignore it feeling as though it might be the movie, so I toss one buttered popcorn into my open mouth successfully making it in my open mouth. I grab another just for the heck of it and then I hear the know louder through the living room making my popcorn miss completely and land on the cushion of the sofa.
"Who the hell is it?" I mutter angrily at myself when I feel too lazy to even get the door. I'm ready to just scowl the person who knocks at this time but when I see the familiar face my scowl immediately washes away from my face.
"Santana? What are you doing here?"
"I told her."
The statement makes my body go numb instantly wondering what happened.
Sorry for the wait, any thoughts?
