I wake up in a closet.
Light comes from under the door, shining on my face while I'm on the floor.
I grimace and get up wondering why I'm in here.
I slowly stand trying the nob.
Locked.
Why the hell?
Is he planning to keep me held captive? Rape me? Hurt me? Sell me for drugs?
I hear a yell and press my ear against the door.
"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU WORTHLESS EXCUSE FOR A SON!" Someone yells, getting louder with every word.
I'm assuming that it's Tobias's father.
He's the mayor I think.
I didn't know Tobias's father was really around, judging by how carefree Tobias is.
Tobias must've done something to piss him off.
Maybe that's why I'm in the closet.
Maybe his father put me here and he'll do something to me.
I can already see the lawsuit.
I hear a crash and then skin being hit with something, hard, and thin.
I shrink back to the floor and curl up in a ball into the corner.
The whole small space smells like male, soap, and Tobias.
I see small marks on the wall, they are tallys.
I see 6 lines on one side, 10 on another, 7, 4, 2, 19, 8. All random places, all written in different things. Blue, pink, black, purple crayons, chalk, a pencil.
I look down and see blood smears, dried, all old.
I hear another crash and decide I need to get out.
I grab the hair pin from my hair, and jiggle it in the keyhole until the door falls open.
I climb out and see the bed sheets nicely made and the room is cleaned up.
My dress is still sitting on the desk though.
It seems odd in his gray room.
I slowly walk out of the room, light on my feet.
I turn the corner in the hallway and look down the stairs to see Tobias at the bottom, on the floor with his arms covering his face.
Then I see his father.
Marcus, I believe is his name.
He's holding a belt in his hand and he pulls his arm back to swing at Tobias.
In a fast decision I throw myself in front of him and I get slapped across the face.
I feel the tears spill from my eyes, without me letting them.
It hurt that bad?
My cheek stings.
Marcus looks confused and frozen in place.
I yank the belt from him and drop it to the ground.
He looks at me.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I yell at him, pushing him in the shoulders.
He backs up and leaves the house.
I whip around to Tobias who is staring at me in shock.
I crouch down, "You okay?"
He pulls me onto the floor and holds me to his chest, crying softly into my neck.
I let him get it out.
We lay like this until I pass out from the pain.
* * *
When I awake I'm in Tobias's bed again.
My cheek screams with pain.
I look up and see Tobias shirtless and putting some cream on his side, gashes and belt buckle marks are all over his body.
I sit up, and rub my cheek
He doesn't' notice.
"What day is it?" I ask looking out to see the window, it's night.
"It's Monday."
"Like Monday morning?"
"No, Monday night."
I jump up.
"My parents must be freaking out!" I state while walking to the door.
Tobias grabs my wrist.
"I texted them from your phone saying you had to do a few projects with Christina, and you were staying over her house for a few days… Your mom said she's okay with it."
I sigh and hug him, careful not to touch his marks.
He hugs me back, "How's your cheek?"
"Hurts like a bitch."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to tell you."
"It's okay Tobias."
I stand up on my toes and press my lips to his, and he gladly accepts kissing me back softly.
We kiss for what seems like hours, pulling back to breathe every few minutes or so.
Soon I'm pinned under him on the bed.
One of his knees between my legs, his hands roaming up my shirt, my hands in his hair, bringing his face closer to mine. But it's when his hand hits my bra, thats when I pull away and scramble away from him to the corner of the bed. His face looks confused and worried.
"Are you okay? What's wrong Tris?" He asks moving to me carefully, like I might run.
"I'm not ready for that Tobias." I say quietly.
He looks at me with careful eyes. He's silent for a long time.
Is he not happy with me now?
Did he just think I was a sex item?
"Then I'll wait for you Tris. I'll wait for you until you're ready. I won't push you into doing anything you aren't comfortable with." He tells me enveloping me in his arms and holding me tightly to his chest.
I sigh of comfort and tuck my face in his collar.
***
It's Wednesday
I into the lunch room hand in hand with Tobias.
I went home last night and told my mother about Marcus, and right now he's in custody for child abuse and Tobias is moving into our house.
Currently we are all over the news but Tobias and me have ignored the bullshit.
I gained 3 pounds this week for eating junk food, and I've decided to starve myself for 3 days to get back to my normal size.
So I grab a water bottle and sit a our table.
Tobias frowns, "Tris eat something."
"I'm fine. I had some of Uriah's cupcakes in math."
At that Uriah turns to me, "Cupcakes?" We asks with a mouthful of pizza.
I hold my hand up and cover my eyes, "Yes the cupcakes."
"I didn't-" He cuts short when I kick him in the shin.
"Oh YEAH! The cupcakes!" He agrees trying to hide his pain.
Tobias must notice this horrible acting because he leans over and whispers to me, "Tris don't starve yourself. It's not healthy."
"Yeah well being fat isn't either."
He looks at me dumbfounded.
"Tris you are not fat."
"That's just what you think." I say while walking out with my water.
Tobias calls after me but I don't listen.
I decide to skip to rest of the day and go home.
Once inside my room safely I stand in front of the mirror, lifting my shirt up some to expose my pale stomach.
I pinch the fat between my thumb and my index finger.
Disgusting. I think to myself. What does Tobias even see in me?
I'm not pretty, I'm not curvy, I look like a child, and I'm fat.
Will I ever be good enough?
For anyone?
Sighing in sadness I climb into bed and curl into myself, thinking, until I fall asleep.
***
When I wake up I'm in Tobias's arms, he's heavily asleep.
I carefully crawl out of his arms and slip into the bathroom, turning the shower on.
I lock the door and slip my clothing off one by one until I'm naked and staring at my blurry self in the fogged mirror.
I shower then grab the razor to shave my legs but I drop it and it lands on my arm cutting me deeply.
I curse and shove my arm under the water but keep bleeding.
The water turns a pink color and I step out of the shower, carefully, trying not to slip.
I take a towel and dry off quickly and get dressed as fast as I can then run out to the hallway closet to find a bandage.
The blood is now dripping down my arm and onto the floor in a puddle.
I start to feel light headed and grab on to the closet door to keep myself upward.
But soon I collapsed onto the floor with a loud thud.
I hear footsteps and my name being called and when I'm moving.
I hear the sound of crying and I'm being shaken and then It all goes black.
