Prompt: What if Castle told Beckett about Smith from the start?
The second he saw her that morning after the phone call, Rick Castle knew he couldn't do it. His mother was right, he couldn't keep it from her. Even if it meant Kate Beckett would run right into the fire, like a moth to the flame, at least he would do his best to try and convince her to drop it. If just for now, maybe they could figure this whole thing out later. Together. Castle took a deep breath and walked up to her desk, reaching out the coffee he had in hand. Their eyes met and a small smile threatened to appear on her lips.
"Thanks," Kate said gently.
He sat down in his chair and as she took a sip on her coffee she glanced at him, quickly noticing his eyes had left her. There was something on his mind, that was clear to her, the way he seemed to struggle to find words was not something he didn't do unless it was something really important. Before putting down the cup she took another sip to be able to turn all her attention to him. She was starting to get worried when he not immediately felt her gaze but continued to look wherever he was looking.
"Castle?" she asked and his eyes snapped to hers for enough seconds for her to see fear. "What's wrong?" she then quickly added.
He shook his head, and she felt a lump in her throat.
"I need to tell you something, but I... I don't know how," he said and if she hadn't known him so well she hadn't heard the small scared tone he tried to hide deep in his voice.
A wave of different thoughts started running around her mind. What if he was going to tell her he loved her again? She'd told him she didn't remember, but it was because she wasn't ready, she wasn't whole enough to think about that yet. She thought he'd understood by the swings the day earlier, understood that she wanted him to wait for her, that she felt the same way but that she needed time to come to terms with it.
"Wha-... about?" she couldn't stop her voice from sounding weak.
She was scared, at least as scared as him, probably more but she had a feeling he could see that, just like she could see the fear that was in his eyes.
"Your mother's case," he said and she almost let out a sigh of relief.
Almost. Before she could she managed to retain it.
"What about it?" she asked, suddenly eager to know if he'd gotten a break in the case.
"You-uh, I need you to promise me something, before I tell you, and I need you to keep that promise," Castle decided he would do his best to keep her safe.
Kate suddenly got a chilling cramp in her body, what was he talking about?
"Castle, if it's about last night I'm... I'm fine," she said and he shook his head.
"No, you're not. And you know you're not," he commented.
Kate felt panic rise inside of her. Why did he know her so well? Why had she allowed him to observe her and be able to tell when she was lying? Why did he notice the things she tried to ignore and push away? Gulping she gave up on trying to fool him, and herself, but instead focused on keeping herself from breaking apart for a second time in less than 24 hours.
"But that's not what I'm talking about," he said and she felt her rising heart calm down again.
Then what the hell was he talking about?! She gave him a warning look, as in telling him to start talking or else.
"Okay, I need you to promise me you won't do anything reckless, that you'll... that you'll let it be for now, that you won't let your feelings cloud your judgement," he quickly said, trying to rush it through but still make sense.
"Castle," she said in a warning tone, fearing whatever he had to say because it was apparent how much it feared him.
"Please, just promise and keep it," he was pleading.
Kate was taken back by what he was saying. What could be so intimidating that he wanted, no needed, her to promise not doing anything without thinking first? And why did she feel a cripple of fear going down her spine?
"I...I promise," she said after a few more minutes.
Castle bit his lip and looked around? Figuring this wasn't the place for this conversation, because no matter her promise he knew she wouldn't react easy on this. He knew she would try get out of there first thing she could to track down this man he'd spoken with on the phone. After glancing towards Gates' office and seeing the captain was busy with whatever paperwork she was doing he stood up and nodded towards the break room for Kate to understand to follow him. It didn't take long before he felt her presence right behind him and as soon as they were inside the break room he closed the doors, making sure no one was going to be able to tell what they were talking about.
"I think you should sit down for this," Castle mentioned, not meeting her searching eyes.
She said his name warningly again, if he wasn't going to start talking soon she was going to shoot him, but sat down in the couch. She expected him to follow, sit beside her but when she looked at him he was pacing back and forth in front of her with shaking hands and a look which told her he was trying to get himself together.
"Last night I got a phone call," he started but continued pacing.
Kate wrinkled her forehead in confusion, what did a phone call have with her mother's case to do?
"The man, on the phone, told me he was a friend of Montgomery's, said he owed him a favor," Castle took a pause to glance at the woman in front of him. "He told me Montgomery sent him a file containing evidence against the person behind all this, that he made a deal with them. He didn't get the file until after your shooting but made sure their deal involved them not coming after you again..."
Kate's eyes were wide and he could see she was trying to process all this new information. Castle decided to wait her out, let her have a couple of minutes where she could think about what he'd just told her without peppering her with more information than she could handle.
"Wh-why would he call you?" she suddenly questioned.
This was the part that he believed might have her murdering him.
"Because in order for them to leave you alone you need to stop investigating, and that's why the man called me, he thought I was the only one to be able to stop you," Castle explained carefully, scared of how the detective would react.
He wanted, so badly, to sit down beside her and make sure he could put his arms around her if she needed him to, but he didn't dare. Still standing he watched her as her eyes told him her heart was shattering. There was an uncertainty in her eyes, as if there was one thing she wasn't quite sure of.
"Wh..." her voice died before she could even sound her question.
Castle gave an asking nod towards the spot beside her on the couch, a nod which she returned as she moved a bit to put some space between them once he sat down. He made sure there was space between them, not sure of how close she would stand to be to him. The silence consumed them, Kate was staring right in front of her without really focusing on anything and Castle watched her with agony growing inside him. After several minutes he couldn't take it anymore.
"Please say something," he whispered in a plea.
Kate jumped a bit, startled at his voice in the storm of her thoughts. He mumbled a sorry and she looked at him, trying to find her own voice in order to meet his request.
"Where... where you gonna go through with it?" her voice was trembling, more than he liked.
Kate watched as his eyes darted for the floor and she knew the answer without him telling her. She bit her lip to try keep the tears from escaping her eyes.
"What stopped you?" she asked low.
Castle thought about her question, not really sure why.
"When I saw you this morning I just knew I couldn't keep it from you, it felt like if I did it would be the end of our relationship before it even started..." his eyes widened as he realized what he just said. "I mean not that we-uh-I..." he let his voice die out because he had no idea how to continue.
Kate felt her heart skip a beat at that before a warmth spread in her veins. After letting out a sigh she felt herself turn into the detective she was.
"What's the number? Maybe we can trace it and find out..."
"No. Kate," Castle cut her off. "First of all it was an unknown number, second you promised not to dive into this only a few minutes ago. Please, I can't... you can't throw your life away."
Anger raise inside her but the second she saw the look on Castle's face the anger disappeared. He looked so frightened, and she had no idea why he would be afraid. It wasn't like she was going to ask him to follow her into the rabbit hole, she just wanted the name of the guy calling him so she could go after the man herself. Maybe she would be able to get that file and finally nail the son of a bitch who ordered the murder of her mother and the shooting of her own.
"Castle, I need to find answers," she said and he shook his head.
"I know but not now," he agreed and she gave him a look of confusion, sighing he explained. "I know you need answers, and I want you to get your answers, but this man... he seemed serious. If you keep digging right now they will kill you, and I can't..." he took a deep breath, "I can't loose you Kate, and we will take down these guys eventually, just... not today and not tomorrow but someday."
His look told her it was a promise, a promise that they would figure this out. And even if he didn't say it aloud his eyes told her they would do it together, that he would be there every step of the way.
"Please Kate, let this be, just for now," his voice was pleading.
It felt like her heart was about to split in half. One half wanted her to ignore the warnings and go after the caller to find justice for her mom. The other half on the other end wanted to agree with Castle, make sure none of them would be shot at again.
"Castle," she whispered with a shattering voice, "if I don't do this I don't know who I am."
To her surprised he scooted just a few inches closer to put his hand on top of her knee.
"You're who you always were. You're the one who honors the victims," he stated with truth in his tone as he looked her into her eyes, trying to show how much he meant every word.
She bit her lip and looked away, her eyes landing on his hand still clutching her knee in a comforting matter. Her mother's case had formed her, made her who she is, so how can she just let that go? It was who she was. Wasn't it? But he had a point, she did what she did because she wanted to voice the justice to those who cannot longer speak. It might have started with her mother's case not being solved, but it had turned into something more than just her mother. There were a lot of other people who needed her voice now, and even if she wasn't willing to let go of her mother completely she could imagine putting it off for now. For him. For the sake of them staying partners. For her life not to end before they could figure out her walls. She let go of a breath she hadn't known she was holding and let her hand trail towards his.
Castle was afraid she was going to pat his hand away, tell her she could not keep her promise. So imagine his surprise when her fingers found the space between his before she intertwined them together.
"Okay," she whispered and when their eyes met she saw his were wide.
"Okay?" he asked.
"I'll stop. For now," she added and he felt a smile spread on his lips.
"You serious?" he questioned, feeling a spread of warmth through his body.
"Yeah, on one condition though," she said and he got a serious expression.
"Anything."
She smiled, "stay." When he gave her a confused raise of an eyebrow she added, "stay by my side, stay my partner, stay even after this case is over."
"That sounds like more than one condition," he joked and she let go of his hand to hit him lightly on his bicep. He chuckled but gave her an honest expression as he exclaimed "always."
The End
