Pokemon. Digimon. In the late 90s to the early 2000s, these two franchises were the ultimate rivalry of all fans to Japanese media. Now, they come together at last in an epic clash of...

Okay, you know what? Enough of this sappy stuff. As promised, James and Mummymon.

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Pokemon or Digimon. I don't even own the computer that I watch them on. (Don't ask.)

JAMES: Hello, I'm a Pokémon.

MUMMYMON: And I'm a Digimon, quite literally.

J: I'm a member of the villainous Team Rocket, and the male counterpart of my team.

M: I am partnered with Arukenimon in our attempts to weaken the barrier between both the digital and human worlds.

J: Although I've trained a poison type, my favorite type is grass, particularly those that enjoy getting close to me.

M: So I've heard. In my Digimon form, I am a mummy with a large projectile weapon that I use for my Necrophobia attack, which the dubbed anime erroneously refers to as my other attack, Snake Bandage.

J: As a young boy, I was the son of a wealthy couple, but ran away after some "complications" with the rich lifestyle.

M: You were, were you? I thought you seemed a decent fellow. Tell me; have you any advice for charming the ladies?

J: You mean romance? Why do you think I ran away? I'd rather go to court for my actions than court women.

M: But I doubt you left it all behind. After all, I've heard so many wonderful things about you and that Jessie woman…

J: You're not the first one to suggest that, but we're no couple. Believe me, your pairing with Isty-Bitsy is more believable than mine; at least it's one-sided.

M: Now if only I could convince her that we're destined for one another. I can tell she's playing hard-to-get.

J: I think it's more you playing hard-to-get-rid-of.

M: At least I have no shame in admitting my feelings.

J: What feelings? Anything that makes people think me and Jessie are together is just unfounded rumors.

M: Is that so? Then how come I once saw a certain image in which you two are not only together, but married and with a new addition soon to come?

J: That was part of a manga, and I'm an anime character. You can't put the two together; it doesn't work that way.

M: Oh, I can tell you're very much in denial.

J: You know what, it hardly matters; you two were destroyed by the season finale, so romance wasn't exactly in your future, now was it? Just another reason why we're better than you.

M: Meaning?

J: In our long history, the anime has had so few deaths. Those we did have were either reversed in some fashion or implied and ambiguous.

M: Oh yes, why would you want to have violence in a children's action series?

J: You were for kids? Ha! Destroying you both mercilessly and for the fun of it is hardly what I call child friendly.

M: Do you know why some people have stopped watching your show? Because it's too childish—

J: For people who have grown up? *pause* Nice try. Here's one: do you know why people have stopped watching your show? Because, aside from what Japan is doing now, there is no show. We've been going strong since 1998 stateside nonstop. You've had three- to four-year breaks at a stretch. Of course, if you'd stick with the same characters every season, that might not be a problem.

M: Oh, I'm sorry, you're the same character as another James who is highly more competent than all three of you put together? When this new season came out, I'd wondered what happened to you.

J: At least we were able to get an extreme makeover. You didn't last long enough to get a facelift.

M: *transforms* How's this for an "extreme makeover?"

Oh, boy, I'd better have the boys at the E.V.A. handle this (E.V.A. short for End Violent Acts). Yeah, this is the "disicpline" I refered to last chapter.

Anyway, next time, more 'mons. Speaking of which, I've got to ask Gennai if he's got that inhibitor collar ready. I'll go check now.

This is CF, signing out.