Chapter 12

I sat on my front stairs,without a coat, staring out into the night. I'm unconsiously rubbing my palms on my bare knees, a gentle breeze is blowing stray hairs across my vision. I don't move to clear them away. It has been one disturbing night. I've erased most of it from my mind.

The telephone rings from inside, and I can hear the muffled sounds of Charlie talking. A few silent moments go by.

"Bells?" My father's voice is rough and tired. I incline my head a little to show him that I'm listening.

"It's Jacob on the phone." his voice is almost sympathetic. I turn around to face him and reach out my hand for the phone. "Careful Bella." Is all he says before turning the phone over. Once I hear the door close behind my dad, I lift the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Bella. I'm glad to see you made it home alright." Jacob's voice is agitated.

"Look..."

"No. I think it's my turn to talk now. Why'd you do it Bella? Do I repulse you that much?"

"Jacob, you're the best friend I could ever ask for."

"Just not good enough right?"

" Jacob, don't put words in my mouth."

"Frankly Bella, I'd rather not think about what has been in your mouth lately..."

"Jacob!" Anger rose inside me. There was silence on the other end.

"Where is he?" His voice was low.

"Out. Jacob, You were so angry in the forest weren't you?" Silence. "What would you have done if I got out?"

"I would have killed him."

"What would you have done to me. What would have happened to me after you killed him?"

"I don't know, Bella." It finally sunk into me why Edward drove off. All he ever cared about was keeping me safe. He still cares. That's what frightens me. How after everything that happened between us, he could suffer with me being angry with him, as long as it meant that I was safe. I looked up from where I was digging my toe in the dirt and Edward was standing there, his hands in his pockets, just staring at me. Obviously he knew who I was talking too. He knew everything. I almost smiled.

Edward watched me skepticly as he made his way up the walk. He shrank done so that his face was level with mine, about a foot apart.

"I've gotta go now, Jake."

"Okay, Bella. I'll talk to you later." He sounded so heartbroken that it was hard for me to breathe. I hung up and slowly rested the phone on the stair beside me. I reached out for Edward and curled myself in his cold hard arms. I didn't cry and I don't know how long we sat there for. He kissed the top of my head.

"I love you Bella." He whispered.

"I know, babe." I whispered back, smiling slightly, I kissed his lips. They softened under my touch.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He almost choked the words out, and I knew that if he was able to cry that he would. I had never seen him like this before. I pulled Edward's face against my shoulder. He rested there; just breathing in my scent. "How can you love something like me." He said after about fifteen minutes.

"How can I not?" I smiled.

"Would you love me if I were human?"

"Ofcourse."

"If you came to Forks and I was like Mike Newton, trailing along like a golden retriever, would you still want me?"

"You would be my golden retriever." I stroked his cheek. Edward took in a long unneeded breath.

"I wish I could be that for you." He whispered. " I want you to grow old, Bella. I want you to have a job, children, someone to grow old with." I didn't answer him, but I could feel a round of tears about to break through. "I want to be that someone"

"I don't need any of that now. You are that someone Edward. Just under different terms, thats all" I kissed his hair line. The wind was still blowing, making my skin goosebump. "I love you Edward, that's all that matters." Edward looked up at me and a surge of electricty shot between us. His eyes were light tonight, butterscotch, he had obviously just hunted. He turned his cheek and kissed my shoulder. I sighed at the warmth he left behind. He kissed me again, lower than before, trailing his lips along my collarbone to the edge of my shirt. Then he looked up at me, his eyes dancing in the moonlight, then he lowered his head to my lap, resting his face agaist my stomach there, while his hands held onto my sides.

"Bella..." He moaned into my belly. I placed my palm against his neck when he lifted my shirt and placed his lips there. I leaned my head down and put my lips to his ear, running my fingers through his hair.

"Meet me upstairs, Edward." Edwards lips were on mine in an instant. And then he let go, his eyes staring deep into mine. I smiled at the hunger I saw there, then he was gone.

I stood up slowly, looking into the night. I grabbed the phone and walked inside. I placed the phone the end table beside the couch. My dad came out of the kitchen, his jacket on.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Got called in." He was chewing on a mouthful of something. "I've gotta go to Port Angeles for the night with some of the guys from work." I didn't even ask him why he was shifting from foot to foot.

"Okay. I'm going to bed anyways... Lock up." turned around and walked up the stairs, almost dazed. I walk into my bedroom without bothering to turn on the lights. He's standing there, in the middle of the room. I take a step closer. "What're you thinking?" I whisper. He turns and looks at me. I can't see the emotions on his face. I bite my lip. " Edward..." Then he's there, his hands on me, his lips matching mine. I try to breath in between kisses but it seems to make him more and more hungry. I wrap my arms around his neck. His hands slid up my shirt pulling it off with his hands. His fingers roam my back. He picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. Within seconds he has my lieing on my back on my bed. He cant stop kissing me, and I'm in no hurry to make him stop. He whispers against my lips. While his hands find the target of my chest.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella."

"You could never do that." I try to kiss him again, sliding my hands into his shirt.

"Are you sure, Bella."

"Mhhmmm." I moan against his lips. "Yes, Edward." I guess that's all he needed to hear, because his face was pressed up against my neck, hungry in more than one way. I felt his touch, his teeth, and I couldn't help but cry out.