Chapter 12

"Who's this?" Damon asked, eyeing the man.

Lily looked over to the man before looking back at her son. "This is my friend, Julian. He's been letting me stay with him in New York."

"Why's he here?"

Lily sighed but Julian nodded for her to go on. "He's a psychologist. I want you two to talk."

"What? Why?" Damon asked.

"Sweetheart, you've had a long past few years and I think it would be good for you to talk to someone."

Now Damon was angry. "I have Elena. And Stefan. That's all I need."

"Baby..."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" He yelled, scaring Elena and his mother. "I'm NOT your baby! NEVER again!"

Lily was in shock at the way her son was talking to her. "I'm your mother."

"Are you? How do I know you're not lying? You lied about my father."

Lily eyes widened in shock.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't know why you did it or who my actual father is."

"Damon, can we talk about this in private? Please?"

"No. We're doing it now!" He yelled, not even noticing (or caring) that everyone in the Grill was staring at them. "Who's my father?!"

"I can't tell you. I'm so sorry." Lily cried, exasperated.

Damon looked down and sighed. "Sorry doesn't make up for anything. My entire life I've been lied to." He said quietly. "I don't care what you have to say, we're done here."

He got up and left the Grill.

Elena sat and watched Damon leave before looking at Lily, who had streaks of tears down her eyes.

"I didn't mean-"

"Just stop trying to explain yourself. It doesn't matter what you say to me, but what you say and do to your son does. Every little thing you've done has created the life that he has. You left him with a monster that could've killed him!" She yelled at the woman in front of her, something she would've never imagined herself doing.

"But he didn't! He wouldn't!"

"He almost did! Damon could've died falling down those stairs and Giuseppe didn't even care! It wasn't an accident! I don't know who Damon's father is, but I'm damn sure he's better than the one you chose for him. I don't pity you, not for a second." And with that, Elena put money on the table and stormed out, chasing, once again, after the boy whose life was falling apart.


Elena found him under the big oak tree in the park. She knew he wouldn't go back to Stefan's, or his own house, so this was the only other place she could think of that he would be.

"Hey," she said softly as she sat beside him, head on his shoulder, "How you doing?" She knew it was a dumb question, but also that he needed to know someone cared.

"I've been better." He murmured.

"Well maybe this'll make you feel better... I bitched out Lily today."

She felt him chuckle under her. "You what?!"

"I told her I don't pity her and she made the wrong choices that have affected you, but I kind of yelled..."

"What a bitch, Ms. Gilbert." He joked.

She slapped his chest lightly. "Shut up."

Suddenly his laughing stopped. "You know, everything made so much more sense when I thought she was dead. It was so much easier."

Elena took her head off his shoulder. "Damon?"

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

Then she asked the question that's been on her mind for quite a while. "When did you know you were in love with me?"

Damon looked down and smiled a tiny smile before looking back in her eyes. "I guess I always have but... if I could pick the moment it finally clicked... Do you remember that snow day that we went to the grocery store?" She nodded. It was when they were 15, their sophomore year. "You wanted ice cream. I thought it was crazy because it was below zero out," he laughed. "You couldn't pick a flavor and I teased you on how you can't make decisions. I said we should buy them all and you laughed at me. I knew that I wanted to listen to it my entire life. You said I was 'silly' and hugged me with one arm, and kissed my cheek. It was a normal thing but this time it felt different. I could feel how cold your nose was against my cheek. I find it funny actually. You were in sweatpants, your hair in the messiest bun I had ever seen, I remember teasing you about it actually. But you were still so beautiful. It was that moment that I knew I loved more than anything, anyone. You were my once in a lifetime. And all we were doing was looking for ice cream."

Elena had tears in her eyes as she threw herself on him and kissed him hard before pulling back breathless. "I love you so much."

He tucked her hair behind her ears, looking into her eyes. "I love you too."

"You've loved me for so long and you never told me."

"I'd rather live with you as my best friend than lose you because you don't feel the same way." He said sadly.

"I'm sorry I didn't show you how I felt before. But I do love you. And I probably always will." Elena whispered softly.

"So will I."

He kissed her.


That night he lay in his bed, quietly trying to figure out who might be his father.

Giuseppe had green eyes, his mother had a dark blue. Could his father possibly have light blue eyes? His mother had dark hair so no guarantees there. He'd be taller, most likely the same jawline he had. Who could it be? Did he know him? Was he even in Mystic Falls? How could he be sure?


The next morning, Damon had a meeting with Liz and Mason in her office. He agreed to have a calm meeting with no fighting. Everything would be done Damon's way with suggestions from Liz.

"First, we set a court date, November 18th, it's a Friday. Will that do?"

Damon nodded.

"And as your friend, I suggest getting a job. Don't wait long. You'll be 18 soon and I know you won't want to live with either parent."

Once again, Damon nodded.

Liz sighed. "To make you feel better, I'll ask you most of questions. Mason has the right to jump in any time but I know you'll feel much better with someone you're close to." Damon nodded, completely agreeing. "Now I need you to think back. What has Giuseppe done to you?"

"Everything?"

"Please."

"He's always put me down. Always been strict. When Mom left he fell apart. Almost stopped talking to me all together unless he had to. I ate breakfast at 'Lena's, or I didn't eat at all. Sometimes I would spend the night there because I was feeling alone and he wouldn't even notice. Then in June, Elena and I made dinner, we made a mess..."

Damon and Elena were in his kitchen, Elena had insisted on making a real dinner. He didn't eat real meals very often. He'd go over to Stefan's or Elena's if he wanted a hot dinner but at home, he was stuck with sandwiches, or mac and cheese. Something he could make quick and not make a mess. Damon was an amazing chef, his mom taught him young since they were Italian, but he never had the urge to cook since she died.

"E, you can't cook!" Damon laughed at her.

"Yes I can!" She argued.

Damon raised his eyebrows.

"I can try!"

Damon shook his head at her.

"I'm making pasta..." she trailed off, "What was it again?"

"Pasta al pomodoro." He said in a beautiful Italian accent.

"Yes! That!"

"You can't make it if you don't even know what it is!"

"I don't care! We'll cook together!"

"Woah! I never agreed on that!"

"Would you like to me ruin your moms recipe and eat burned food, and possibly have both of us starve?" She asked with a pointed look.

He sighed and told her that she won. She squealed happily and gave him a huge hug to thank him.

And so they began.

He gave her instructions on how to make homemade noodles with dough and flour. He started on the sauce. A while later he was mixing the noodles and sauce together when suddenly he felt something strange hit him. He turned around to see Elena's hands covered in flour and her trying to cover up her laugh.

"What the hell?"

"You got a little something on your back..."

"Oh really? How about your face?"

"What about my face?" She asked confused.

"This." With that, he threw a handful of pasta at her, hitting her face just like he planned.

"Damon!" She screamed.

He laughed at her. "What? I thought you liked red?"

"This is a new shirt!"

"Maybe you need to stop shopping with Caroline so much." He shrugged.

"I hate you." She said as threw flour at his face.

"I can deal with flour, I think being covered pasta is so much worse."

So she grabbed the bowl off the counter and poured it on his head.

"Elena!"

"Yes?" She asked sweetly.

He grabbed a handful of four and threw it at her, it sticking to the red pasta sauce.

They went back and forth with that, laughing at each other for they didn't even know how long when suddenly...

"DAMON GIUSEPPE SALVATORE!" They both heard coming from the door way. They both stopped in shear panic. "What the hell is this?!"

"Dad... we-"

"Stop. Elena?"

"Yes, sir." She asked nervously.

"Go home."

She looked at Damon for confirmation, he nodded. "Yes, sir." She sighed.

Once they were sure Elena was gone, Giuseppe started the yelling that Damon knew was coming.

"What the hell were you doing?!"

"We were cooking and then we just-"

"I can see that. You're cleaning this entire kitchen!"

"I know sir."

"I don't want her here."

"What? Why?" Damon asked surprised. It's not like Elena bugged him. Giuseppe actually use to enjoy her a lot before he became a complete jackass.

"Don't you dare question me, boy! I'm your father, understand!"

"Yes, but Dad-"

"SHUT UP!" Giuseppe yelled as he slapped his son in the face and pushed him into the cupboards, causing him to fall down to the floor.

As Damon's eyes widened in surprise, so did Giuseppe's.

Giuseppe quickly recovered. "Clean this up." He said quietly before leaving.

Liz sat in her seat shocked, as did Mason. The first time Damon was ever abused, Giuseppe actually seemed sorry, but then why did he continue?

"Damon," Mason began, reading Liz's mind. "Why do you think he continued to abuse you if he seemed sorry?"

Damon shrugged. "He felt powerful I guess. There was no way for him to be powerful in our home and he felt power by hurting me. But I let him. I thought I deserved it."

"You don't." Liz said shocked.

"I know that now."

"I'm truly sorry, about everything."

"I know, everyone is. But it doesn't make me feel any better."

Liz nodded. "What about your childhood? Anything abusive or neglectful?"

Damon looked down.

"Damon. We need to know. This will help you and possibly others, I promise."

Damon nodded, tears in his eyes. "When I was little... maybe about 4 or 5, he would..." Damon paused.

"He would what Damon?" Liz pushed softly.

"He touched me." Damon said quietly.

Liz was hoping he meant abusively, no matter how bad that was. She didn't want to know that Damon had been touched inappropriately. "How Damon?"

"In a way no father should to their son. Are we done?" He asked harshly.

"Damon, I need a yes or no answer for this case... did your father molest you?"

"Yes."


Elena was over at Caroline's, working on homework with her in the kitchen. Elena hadn't had much time to focus on her school work, with everything going on with Damon. They were laughing about random things, something Elena felt was foreign to her now. There just never seemed like there was something worth laughing about anymore. It felt nice to just smile. Little did she know, that was about to be ruined when she heard the front door slam.

"Hey Mom." Caroline said smiling when she saw her mother. "How was work?" She asked, genuinely curious, knowing she had a meeting with Damon that day.

Liz had a strange look on her face. She didn't know what say.

"How'd it go with Damon?" Elena asked worried.

Liz sat down and sighed, looking at Elena. "What has Damon told you about the abuse?"

"Not much. Only what everybody already knows." Elena spoke honestly.

"But did he say anything about before June? Maybe when he was little?"

Elena's eyebrows furrowed. "No? Why?"

"Elena, God, I'm not supposed to tell anyone anything, you know? Confidentiality? But you're his girlfriend and his best friend and you should know."

"Know what?" Elena asked, eyes tearing up, terrified for what Liz was about to tell her.

"Damon was molested."


When there was a pounding at the front door, Zack answered it to find a very upset Elena.

"Elena? What's the matter?"

"Is Damon here?" Elena asked as best she could through her tears.

"Yeah, just a second." He left the door open as he rain to get his nephew.

Damon came to the door to find Elena crying her eyes out. "Elena? What happened? Are you okay?" He asked freaking out.

"How could you not tell me? Did you not trust me enough?" Damon didn't have to ask her what she was talking about.

He sighed. "Elena, it wasn't that. It was so long ago. Before I was friends with you!" He said softly.

"I don't care! You had to go through that all alone!"

"I wasn't going through anything! I didn't even understand it!"

"But you knew. You've known this all your life and you had to go through life knowing you're a victim and having no one! I'm your best friend and I feel like I knew nothing! How could I not see it?!"

Damon suddenly knew what was going on. He put his hands on her cheeks. "Hey, this was not your fault at all, do you understand me?"

"But I should've known. I should've seen it."

"No one could've known, baby. Not even Stefan knew. I did this to myself."

She looked into his eyes and flung herself at him, crying into the junction between his neck and his shoulder.

"Did your mom know?" She whispered.

She could feel him nod slightly. "Yeah, she knew."

That just made her cry harder.


Elena went home that night very late, but when her father saw the tear stains on her cheeks and her red rimmed eyes he decided tonight wasn't the night to scold her for missing curfew.

"Sorry." She apologized weakly to her father. "I was with Damon."

"Don't worry about it." Her father said.

"You aren't going to yell at me?"

He shook his head. "You had a rough night, I'll just give you a warning."

She smiled. "Thanks Dad."

"No problem." As she started heading upstairs he stopped her. "Wait, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the lake house with me this weekend?"

Elena shrugged. "I guess. What for?"

"There's a lot of junk piled up over the years in the attack. I was planning on cleaning it out, since half of it isn't even ours."

"Not ours?"

"Well, when the Salvatore's sold us the house they asked to keep some of in there for safe keeping, or because they didn't need it, and I'd prefer not to keep any of their crap anymore."

Elena stopped him. "Wait! The Salvatore's sold us the lake house?"

Grayson nodded. "It used to be Lily's and Giuseppe's until you were about four. They always let us borrow it more than they used it so they offered to sell it to us if we had the money."

"What kind of stuff is there?"

He shrugged. "Baby clothes, files, documents, and other little things they didn't really need, like antiques. So what do you say?"

"Can Damon and Stefan come?"

"Yeah, why not. Invite Caroline too! Double date." Gray teased. "So it's a yes?"

"It's a yes."


He sat in his room quietly. He stared at the pills in front of him contemplating his next move. All he could think about was his mother and how he felt so abandoned and unloved.

"You told me you'd love me forever" He cried as he looked up to the ceiling, recalling a memory back when he was just a little boy.

A nine year old boy lay in his bed with his mother by his side. It was late and he couldn't sleep. Now that he was nine, he didn't want his mother to read to him at night anymore, he thought it was too babyish. Unfortunately for him, his mother caught him awake and insisted a bedtime story. She picked out her favorite and he told her that it was a baby book, but it was her favorite so he'd allow it.

"But at night time," she read, "When he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of his bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she rocked him she sang..." His mother began to sing to him in her quiet sweet voice that he pretended not to love so much. "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

She looked down to find him asleep, and kissed his forehead sweetly before taking herself to bed. She wasn't reading the book... she was singing to him.

Damon looked at his bottle of pills and unscrewed the cap and poured a few in his hand.

"I thought I was your baby." He whispered before closing his eyes and swallowing the pills.


I was inspired by two things for this chapter. One was a story in a book call "Pillow Thoughts" by Courtney Peppernell, I used the story in the book that was called "Looking for Ice Cream." I reworded it a little bit as to not steal it completely but I find the story beautiful and wanted to use the idea, since I never said the moment Damon knew he was in love with Elena. Hope you like the nice Damon/Elena moment in there.

My second inspiration was the children's book, "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch, which is also the title of the chapter.

I apologize to the people that find rape and molestation a sore topic or offensive. I do not mean to offend anybody, I'm simply telling a story. I'm sorry again.

PLEASE READ! I have been considering changing the rating of this story to M simply because of the mentions of rape and possible future sexual encounters. The encounters will in no way be smut and will not be graphic. I want to know what you all think and if I would be losing any of my current readers because I don't want to risk that.

I hope you enjoyed and would you like more flashbacks? Let me know and REVIEW!