AN: Dialogue that you recognize from Nightmares belongs to Joss & Co. I don't own it, never will.
After Buffy cleaned up a very messy Dawn, the duo walked down stairs and the smell of grilled cheese permeated the air.
"Yum," Dawn said entering the kitchen, "That smells so good!"
"Yeah," Buffy said in agreement, "Now the next stage is the taste test, are you ready?"
"Well, I am a really good food taster," Dawn said as Buffy and Dawn took their places at the counter.
"We'll see about that," Parker said while putting a plate in front of both Buffy and Dawn.
Dawn was the first to pick up her sandwich and took a bite, "Wow!" she exclaimed, "This is super yummy."
"I'm glad you like it Dawn," Parker said.
"Do you know what would make this better?" Dawn asked Parker while gesturing to her sandwich, "If the grilled cheese were shaped like Dinosaurs."
"Really…"
"Yeah, T-Rex's are my favorite. They are all GRRR!" Dawn said making dinosaur claws causing both Parker and Buffy to erupt in laughter.
The laughter was interrupted by the telephone ringing, Buffy answered the phone still laughing, "Hello," she said into the receiver.
"Hi Buffy," Joyce said in a monotone, "Can you come to the hospital?"
"Mom, is everything alright?" Buffy said suddenly nervous.
"No," Joyce stated plainly, "Hank died."
And with those two words, Buffy's life came to a screeching halt. Hank Summers, the elusive father for the past six years was gone… for good. A shell-shocked Buffy, dropped the phone, and noticing her blunder, she picked it back up, "Sorry, Mom. Be right there." After hanging up the phone, Parker and Dawn just knew that something is wrong.
"Mommy," Dawn began, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, sweetie," Buffy replied still in a daze, "I'm fine."
She then turned her attention to Parker, "Can you drive me to the…"
"Absolutely," Parker said interrupting her and knowing exactly what she was asking him.
"You can stay with Dawn?"
"Of course," Parker said grabbing his keys, "No worries, Dawn and I will be fine. It's you I'm worried about."
"I'm fine," Buffy said with no emotion.
The ride over to Sunnydale Memorial was eerily silent even though Dawn's chatter was filling the emptiness, but Buffy was so stuck inside her mind that she wasn't even paying attention. The only thing she noticed was that Parker, gently held her hand the entire way. The small gesture, made Buffy feel a little better, but her thoughts were on overdrive. Buffy could not believe the turn of events, it was like she was on autopilot, and she felt completely numb. Nothing mattered, and yet everything mattered. The entire world was moving, but she was standing still. For so long, she considered her father to be nothing more then a sperm donor, but now, as they were trying to forge a semblance of a relationship, she realized that even though he was an absentee father, he still was an important person in her life. Now, he was gone. It was all too much, to comprehend.
Of all the memories that were scattered of her father in her mind, the only one that was on replay was the day Hank Summer's walked out of Buffy's life.
Six years ago…
Buffy had just found out she was pregnant, and it was her father's turn to take her for the weekend. He showed up early, and asked to go out on a walk. There was something very peculiar about his behavior, and the conversation began awkwardly, "I came early because there's something I've needed to tell you. About your mother and me. Why we split up."
"Well, you always told me it was because..."
"Uh, I know we always said it was because we'd just grown too far
apart," Hank said annoyed.
"Yeah, isn't that true?" Buffy asked.
"Well, c'mon, honey, let's, let's sit down," Hank said gesturing to a park bench, "You're old enough now to know the truth."
"Is there someone else?" Buffy asked quietly.
"No. No, it was nothing like that."
"Then what was it?"
"It was you."
"Me?" Buffy asked completely flabbergasted.
"Having you. Raising you. Seeing you everyday. I mean, do you have
any idea what that's like?" Hank asked almost disgusted.
"What?" Buffy said on the verge of tears.
"Gosh, you don't even see what's right in front of your face, do
you? Well, big surprise there, all you ever think about is yourself. You
get in trouble. You embarrass us with all the crazy stunts you pull, the drugs, and boozing… and do I have to go on?"
"No. Please don't," Buffy said as a tear fell freely down her face.
"You're sullen and... rude and... you're not nearly as bright as I
thought you were going to be... Hey, Buffy, let's be honest. Could you
stand to live in the same house with a daughter like that?"
"Why are you saying all these things?" Buffy said crying.
"Because they're true. I think that's the least we owe one
another… You know, I don't think it's very mature, getting blubbery when
I'm just trying to be honest. Speaking of which, I don't really get
anything out of these weekends with you. So, what do you say we just
don't do them anymore?"
And with one last jab, Hank seethed, "I sure thought you'd turn out differently."
Buffy couldn't for the life of her, why that memory was popping up in her unconscious… That was one of the most horrible days of her life. It took her years, to realize that everything her father said was just malicious, heartless and cruel. She still wondered what had provoked him to say such things to her, and now she would never know for certain. The guilt her father made her feel for his failed marriage was an enormous burden to carry. She eventually, after years of therapy, realized that it wasn't her fault. It still bothered her, why her father would say those things to her so unprovoked… One of those questions she would never know the answer to.
"Mommy," Dawn said pulling Buffy out of her reverie, "Your at the hospital."
"Oh," Buffy said taking in her surroundings, "I guess I am."
"I promise, I will be good for Parker," Dawn said.
"Yeah, don't worry Buffy, we will be good," Parker said, "Call me, if you need a ride home."
"Okay, I will," Buffy said while getting out of the car. She walked over to Dawn's side in the back and planted a kiss on her head, "Love you."
"Love you the moon and back," Dawn replied.
Buffy walked away from the car, still in a zombie like state.
