All's Fair; Chapter Eleven
Summary: Arriving at Hogwarts as new charms teacher, Dannielle 'Danni' Prince soon finds that surly Potions Master, Severus Snape, is the least of her worries when ghosts of the past come back searching for vengeance. SS/OC
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Beta: All-Knowing Alien 2
Word Count: 3253
11: Speaking Up
Waking up was difficult. I'd never noticed before, but it was really, really hard. A vague thought fluttered across my mind that maybe this was how normal people found every single morning. My mind snickered at the thought and I sent a silent thank you up to whatever Gods there might be up there that I was blessed with strangeness.
I opened my eyes slowly and was blinded by the bright white ceiling that stared reproachfully back at me. Then two concerned faces swam into view.
'Dan?' a comfortably familiar voice asked, apparently coming from the lips of one of the faces.
I tried to form a reply, but while my lips and tongue cooperated, I was unable to make a noise.
'Shh, don't try and talk,' Claude said, placing a hand on my shoulder. He shot a look to Janie, who was the other person there, and received a quiet nod. 'Whatever happened – they –' he choked, unable to continue.
'You can't talk anymore,' Janie filled in quietly. 'Whoever it was that was fighting you thought it might be a funny idea to let you live, but sever your vocal cords.'
Good thing that isn't a problem, then. I replied calmly, projecting my inner voice so they both could hear it.
My brother's head, which had been bowed in defeat, snapped up. His eyes flashed contrasting emotions of relief and horror. 'You can't!' he exclaimed.
I can, I assured him. Do you think I would make the same mistake as so many before me? Give me a little more credit than that, please.
'But – this… I don't think this is a very good idea, sis.'
A good idea? I wonder where along the line any of this is a good idea.I said coolly.
Claude shook his head, but said no more.
What happened? How did you find me? I demanded they tell me.
Janie sighed and helped me sit up on the bed. It felt like my whole body was aching and I was pretty sure I had gained more than a couple of broken bones, but I was determined to listen through what they had to tell me.
'We were waiting for you. You said you wanted to have a bath and then you were coming round for dinner, so we thought it would take you two hours at the most, but when you still hadn't arrived four hours after you left, we were getting a bit nervous. Claude decided we should fire-call you just to check if you were both simply having really long baths.
'You can't imagine his shock when he found your living room looking like a bomb had exploded and you lying there, unconscious and bleeding.'
I was thankful that Janie filled in no more details than that. My house may have been small, but it was still my home and I didn't particularly want to hear how badly Bellatrix had beaten me.
'Claude immediately called me to help you and allow him to alert St Mungo's. It didn't take long to get you to the hospital and it soon became clear that the injuries were a lot better than they seemed.' Janie told me.
Yeah, the bitch got so enraged she ended up forgetting about her wand, I told them.
'You know who it was then?' Claude cried out, jumping up from his seat.
Kind of hard not to notice… Especially since the woman in question is supposed to have been dead for the last seven and a half years.
Claude and Janie frowned and I shrugged. Cameron's identity had been kept secret for a reason and I was not about to let that secret loose. Not yet, anyway. I had lost my voice, quite a bit of pride and Cameron – I was not going to lose Minerva' or Severus' trust.
'Well, who is it then?'
Nu-uh, I still have questions and since I'm the one who almost died, you'll answer them first, I teased Claude half-heartedly. The frown deepened, but he said nothing more. How long have I been out?
'About thirty hours.'
What happened to Cameron?
'We don't know. There were no signs of any blood other than yours in the entire house, but her wand was still in the bathroom inside the pocket of her clothes.'
Oh, of course. Cameron had come out of the bathroom when she heard the noise, but she had only been wearing a towel. So the girl had no means of protection. But then, how are you supposed to protect yourself from your own mother? I shuddered at the thought of what Bellatrix might be doing to poor little Cameron right now.
'You know more than you're telling us,' Claude accused.
Yes, but there are others I need to talk to first. Is there anything else important I might need to know?
'Well,' Janie started hesitantly, 'I don't know if it's important, but after the operation you kept muttering about a 'blood red veil'? And you said Jesse's name a lot as well.'
Her words tugged at my mind, but I could not think of what they could possibly mean – what on Earth was a blood red veil?
Thank you. Can you contact the school for me? I need to talk to both the Headmistress and her deputy, I asked them gently, but firmly. Again Claude and Janie shared a look that revealed some depth, but I couldn't for the life of me work out what the message being passed between them was.
'Mr Snape is already here,' Claude said stiffly after a moment.
My hand, upon Severus' name, automatically moved to rest on my belly. Janie didn't seem to notice, but Claude saw and shook his head sadly. I let out a strangled cry and buried my face in my hands.
I heard Claude bustling Janie out of the room, despite her protests and questions as to what was wrong with me. But they left and I was alone again. It was nice; I realised, to be alone so I could wallow, for just a little bit, in the grief that now tore through me. My baby, my wonderful, beautiful little baby that hadn't even got a chance to see the world. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged myself up into the smallest position I could, not looking up when the door opened.
'What happened?' His voice – oh, his glorious, silky, wondrous voice!
I tried for a moment to answer how I normally would, but there were no words. Bellatrix had taken my baby and then she had taken my words so I could not mourn properly. She took the baby, I sobbed, still unable to look up at him.
'I thought…' he trailed off, uncertain what to say, but I got the gist of the thought.
A baby, Sev, how could I not want any baby? It was a part of me, a new life that I would have done anything to keep alive.
'Why are you talking telepathically?' he asked gently. This time I did look up at him and though his face was impassive, his eyes glittered with some unnameable emotion that he refused in any other way to express.
Just be thankful she didn't kill me, was all I could tell him.
'She? Ella, you're talking in riddles, I need to know the facts.' His voice came across incredibly soft and he made as if to hug me, but changed the movement so he sat down on the chair next to my bed instead.
Bellatrix. She came to my house last night, or, I guess, two nights ago now, and demanded that I give her Cameron. When I refused, we duelled. I lost. She severed my vocal chords and took Cameron.
Severus gave a very un-Severus like half-sob, half-choke noise that had my head start up to try and find his eyes.
'I knew,' he hissed at me when he saw the question in my eyes. 'I knew who her mother was and I didn't even think of warding your house!'
Do you think that would have changed anything? I grew up into the war, just like you, remember? My house has more wards than most of the shops in Diagon Alley, probably. Besides which, Bellatrix has been supposedly dead for eight years. You yourself said that Cameron's only known parent was deceased. As I said that I couldn't help but lace the thought of her only known parent with venom. Severus picked up on it immediately.
'What aren't you telling me?' he snapped.
Darling Bella informed me as to the parentage of Cameron, I returned frostily. I knew that he had every right, really, to be pissed off right now, but I didn't need it. In the past ten minutes I had lost my voice, my unborn baby and one of my students. Not to mention a hefty chunk of my pride. I was astonished at my own ability to hold back the tears.
'Who?' he ordered me to tell him, eyes narrowing as I spent as long as I could trying not to say it. I didn't want to say it. Didn't want to admit that Cameron was actually the child of a Dark Lord who still struck fear into the hearts of every witch and wizard alive.
Voldemort, I whispered into his mind, trying to hide my horror and, I believe, failing dismally.
Luckily Severus had enough of his own horror written across his face to notice mine. He opened and closed his mouth several times, reminding me strongly of a pet goldfish I'd once had until he finally managed to stutter out, 'Voldemort has a child?'
And you thought that having Bellatrix as a mum was bad, I replied wryly.
'This isn't a joking matter, Danielle,' he snarled at me, his brows drawn across his face in a deep frown.
Call me that again and I'll hex your bullocks off, Severus Snape. Forgive me if I turn to sarcasm and witticisms to distract myself from the fact I should be having a mental breakdown right about now. One thing I loved about talking telepathically? Despite having to concentrate more than in general conversation the good part was there was no need to breathe, therefore giving any verbal sparring partner no chance to but in. Besides which I was being perfectly serious when I say that it is worse to have Voldemort as a father than it is to have Bellatrix as a mother.
Severus didn't seem to think argument deigned a proper response – either that or he couldn't think of one – and just snarled in response.
Articulate, I couldn't help but project dryly.
'Danielle, I realise you are in a–' he didn't get any further than that.
I did warn him, no one could suggest otherwise. So really, why he was so shocked by the fact that I actually had hexed him was completely beyond me. I did not hex any parts completely off of him, however severely I was tempted (in my opinion I could – if he ever forgave me and we ever reconciled – put certain parts of his anatomy to a much better than use than lying around on the floor in a puddle of blood) though he did jump from his chair, trying surreptitiously to scratch pretty much every part of his body.
'You bitch,' he growled out at me as he groped around for his wand.
I didn't think I was going to get that reconciliation. There is no counter-charm. The spell will lift in five minutes time. As you find yourself thus indisposed I would appreciate it if you left me in peace allowing me to wallow in self-evolved grief and not have to listen to your snide remarks and my full name, I told him.
Then I rolled over onto my side, curled up under the bed sheets and slipped into the normal frame of mind before trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to fall asleep.
To tell the truth my entire body was singing – longing for some kind of movement. I had been asleep for, what was it? A day and a half and I wanted to get up and about and start trying to find someway to get Cameron back. At some point the eleven year old had stopped being just another student and had come to mean just that little bit more to me. Then a brilliant thought came to me.
Severus hadn't quite left yet and he seemed rather shocked when I sat up and would have yelled something, but instead just mouthed furiously at him.
'What?'
I struggled a moment before I managed to asked him telepathically, Could I adopt Cameron?
'Adopt her?' he spluttered.
Sure, why not?
'But where would that leave me?'
His question completely baffled me. What did he mean? My adopting Cameron shouldn't have any affect whatsoever on him. So I asked him. What do you mean?
'I – what – I know we don't have a traditional relationship, but…'
My mouth dropped open. He was… worried? About us? But… I thought you only wanted one night?
His expression turned positively thunderous. 'I thought I'd made it clear that that is no longer my wish?' he asked tightly.
For the sake of the baby… I trailed off, honestly baffled beyond comprehension. I was in no state to deal with this – too much was happening. And why was he angry anyway? It took me a moment longer to realise that he wasn't angry at me, he was frustrated by himself.
'I don't really have relationships. Especially with women. The longest relationship I've had lasted six months and ended… messily,' Severus told me, his face going from tormented to emotionless in a second, his voice dull and flat. That was the biggest indication that this topic was painful for him. So I chose the easiest bit.
Especially women? I questioned gently, knowing it was a volatile situation.
'I have no specific preference to either sex,' Severus told me clinically, though his dark eyes flashed with some unnameable emotion.
Really? Who gave you the best shag of your life, male or female? I said teasingly, trying to distract him.
'Male. No names mentioned,' he paused, a purely mischievous smirk sneaking across his features for a millisecond. 'You came pretty close, though.'
Well, duh, I replied, deadpan.
It had worked though; he relaxed slightly and sank back into the chair next to my hospital bed.
So, uh, you seriously want to carry on with this thing between us?
'I think it would be best if we started over,' he responded in all sincerity.
OK, I told him simply. Do you… would you mind if I adopted Cameron? I'm not suggesting that we adopt her together or anything – that's a recipe for disaster if ever I knew one.
'You're asking,' he translated, 'if I will mind the baggage that you are attaching yourself to on a foolish and idiotic whim?'
Yes, I said. I might have argued with him about the fact that Cameron wasn't just 'baggage', as he put it, and that my adopting her was a perfectly logical solution to come to, not foolish or idiotic. Much.
'No. I don't mind. Although I still think it's stupid of you.'
I'm thirty-eight, Sev. If I'd lost this baby ten, even five years ago it wouldn't have bothered me as much. But it is a reminder that I'm not getting any younger and… you need to know that if we start up a proper relationship, I'm not just looking for a couple of months. I'm looking for forever. So I am going to get to know you and if I fall for you I will fight tooth and nail to keep you.
I didn't think was much out of place in my little speech; I was only telling him the truth of my feelings, after all. From where I stood it seemed he was half in love with me already and I could see myself easily reciprocating those feelings given a little time. Nonetheless Severus turned a charming shade of pink that I found most endearing. Maybe – just maybe – something good would come out of this fiasco.
'I lost a child as much as you did,' he reminded me softly. 'And I'm 45. I am not getting any younger either.'
I decided not to point out that men could reproduce for just a tad longer than women could. Instead I just smiled at him.
Then he leant forwards across the bed and, hesitantly, gently, cupped my face in his hands. He looked at me with those dark orbs of his, the question clear as if he'd spoken it. I blinked slowly and the smile left my lips, though it remained in my eyes. And he pressed his lips to mine in a gentle kiss that was firm and gentle and promised hundreds more kisses to come.
It was only brief before he drew back and kissed me on my forehead, then hugging me to him. In a way the length made it even more real. Both he and I understood each other. Though we had acted like it before, neither of us was a hormonal teenager anymore and we both wanted a relationship that might, maybe, last forever. It was comforting to know that whilst we could have passion between us we could also form something slow and peaceful and longer lasting.
Unfortunately for us, Sev in particular, my mother's disastrous sense of timing had been perfected over her many years of grand entrances that caused as much discomfort possible for those involved.
'Danielle!' she cried as she entered, making me wince. Only she could call me by full name without my threatening to hex her. My mother, when you said something out of line, was one scary woman. 'And who's this young man?' she asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.
'Ma'am,' Severus said, standing.
Mum, this is– I attempted to tell her telepathically.
'Get out of my head right this instant, young lady!' Mum warned, eyes complete slits now. 'You were given a voice for a reason!'
But, Mum, I–
'No!' she shrieked. 'Your voice, young lady, God gave you vocal chords just like every other human.'
'Mrs Prince,' Severus said, moving both my and Mum's attention to him. I noticed with a gulp that his expression had taken on that furiously icy look he usually only reserved for students or – on the off chance I came hurtling into his classroom publicly humiliating him in front of his students – me. 'If you would only listen to your daughter for a second–'
'Now listen here, Mister,' Mum said. I wondered what I wanted most right now. Popcorn or an army barricade to hide behind. 'Danielle can answer for herself, using her tongue and I will not have you making excuses for her.'
'Madame.' Ooh. Severus was scary when he said that in that tone. 'If you would have informed yourself of –'
And then they both started talking at once. I don't know exactly what each of them said, but their voices became progressively louder and angrier until I couldn't stand it any longer.
Mum! Severus! Shut. The. Fuck. Up!
It seemed like a good idea at the time. But then they both turned on me. My only sensible or vaguely coherent thought that crossed my mind when I received death glares from both my mother and – my what? Boyfriend? Lover? Date? – Severus was: Oh crap.
Written: Unknown
Chances of continuation: nil
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Much love,
Cal
