Chapter 12

A Walk would Be Nice

"Elsa, please, I promise we will be back soon." Anna said, her voice whinny.

"Anna, I have papers to write! I can't stay with him today!" Elsa said, agitated.

"I know, but Kristoff and I have been planning this for days! What would Kaija say if I told her she couldn't go now?" Anna said, her big blue-green eyes blinking innocently.

Elsa bit her lip. For the past three days Anna had been planning to take Kaija out, to let her play in the Kingdom's village. Kristoff had steadily backed his fiance, agreeing that the little girl needed to get out after being cooped up in the castle for so long. Elsa sighed. Anna had been planning this, and it would break Kaija's heart if she couldn't go. "Fine." Elsa said, giving in to her sister's pleas. "Just make sure you bring her back in time for bed." Elsa warned. She knew Anna could be a bit irresponsible at times, and with Kristoff there to distract her, Elsa was sure they would need some reminding.

Anna squealed. "Oh, thank you Elsa!" She wrapped her arms tight around Elsa's shoulders, giving her a squeeze. "You're the best sister I could ever wish for." Elsa smiled, she certainly loved to hear that. "Come on out, Kaija! It's time to go." Anna opened the door to Santein's room, peeking her head inside.

Soon, the little girl came running out of the room, her brown eyes glittering with excitement. She wore a little yellow dress with green flowers layered all over, it had been one of Anna's when she was a child. "We're going to the Village! We're going to the Village!" She jumped up and down.

"Yes! We are!" Anna squealed along with her. She reached her hand out, and the little girl took it gratefully. As they left down the hall, Anna turned and waved. "Bye, Elsa! See you in a few!"

Elsa picked up her hand, waving back gently. She sighed, feeling a tickle of laughter in her chest. Anna would be a great mother someday.

Fixing a loose strand of hair, Elsa shuffled into Santein's room, holding her breath as she stepped inside. He looked up, a gentle smile on his lips. His blue eyes shone bright in the dimness. "Hi, Queen Elsa. I didn't get a chance to thank Anna for taking Kaija out, that's so kind of her."

Elsa winced at him saying her name. No matter how long she had been Queen, being addressed as 'Queen Elsa' just never felt right.

"Please, call me Elsa. And it's really alright, Anna needed a break as well. She's quite hyper if you haven't noticed." Elsa said gently, relaxing a bit as Santein laughed.

"Elsa." He said, his voice apologetic. He uncovered himself, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Elsa watched as he rubbed his neck, rolled his shoulders, and stretched out his legs, sighing heavily. "Man, I feel like I've been stuck in here forever."

Elsa swallowed. He had been in a while, and she felt a stab of pity for him. She knew what if felt like to be stuck in one room. His injury was healing, but she couldn't help but want it to heal faster. This poor man couldn't stay cooped up like this for much longer.

"Why…why don't you try some more walking? It's been a few days, since you tried last." Elsa said carefully, wanting more than anything for the awkwardness in the room to leave.

Santein looked up at her. "I want to. The pain is gone, it has been for a while. But I just don't trust my own feet, I don't trust myself yet. I'm still weak."

Elsa almost choked. He had just said the exact thing that she had been thinking for days now. After her recent lesson with Danesk, she felt less fear towards to constant pulsing in her hands. She felt more comfortable around Anna, Kaija, and even a bit more around Santein. But just as he had said, she was still weak. She was still untrustworthy of her own feet, her own magic. Her own emotions.

"Do you know what that feels like?" Santein blinked up at her, his eyes soft. "Because it's a terrible feeling." He said, his eyes hitting the floor.

Elsa stared hard at him, her eys an icy blue. She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to yell in his face. How dare he? How dare he ask a woman he knew nothing about if she knew what it felt like to not trust herself?

"Yes, I do." She said, her tone thick.

Santein blinked, his eyes squinting in concern. "I'm sorry, Elsa. I hate that you know." Elsa closed her eyes. How was she supposed to respond to that? She couldn't tell if she was still angry that he had asked her such a personal question or if she felt sad for him and his concerned voice. "But, look at you. You're a Queen, and a very good one, I've been told. You must be a strong woman."

Elsa felt a rush of heat blow under her cheeks. This didn't just embarrass her, it made her chest pound. She'd never had a man be so in awe of her before. Especially a man like this….someone who wasn't in her family. He wasn't her father, he wasn't her future brother-in-law. He was just Santein. "You could say that." She finally managed to choke out, her throat caught in a lump of nerves and surprise.

Santein smiled at her, and she shuffled her feet. She was acting like a school girl, not a Queen. Sucking up her nerve tightened stomach, she cleared her throat. "If you feel well enough, I could provide you with a tour around the castle. Maybe a short one, just to be sure." She said politely.

Santein stood, his legs quivering. When he held his own weight, he looked at Elsa, eagerness in his eyes. "A tour would be nice."

Elsa smiled. "Look at you, already up on your own two feet." She said, surprised to find a measure of pride for his achievement fill her chest.

"Well I wouldn't miss the opportunity to have a tour by the beautiful Queen for anything." He said, adding a charming wink.

Elsa felt her stomach turn. Although her insides felt as if they had melted, she forced out a calm sentence, along with a subtle yet playful eye roll. "How sweet of you."

He laughed, and she stood, waiting for him to head towards the door. He blinked, meeting her eyes, and she shoved them to the door, her cheeks flushing once again. "Here," He said, stumbling towards the door to swing it open. "Ladies first."

Elsa felt a stab of guilt. She hadn't meant for it to seem that she was waiting for him to open the door for her. Besides, he was hurt, she couldn't have him thinking she was a rude host. "No, no, I'm sorry," She said, trotting towards the door. "Go ahead." She stood in the entrance, her hand held out slightly for him to walk past. Seeing this, he nodded politely, and pressed through the door. As he walked through, he had to turn, his body brushing ever so slightly against hers. Sucking in a breath, she slammed the door shut behind her, letting it out loudly as she turned back towards him.

Gritting her teeth together, she screamed at herself in her head. Stop acting like a child! His blue eyes flooded with laughter, and she could tell he could see how nervous she was. Straightening her back, she nodded to him, pushing her nerves down. "Where would you like to go?" She began walking slowly down the hall, matching his slightly limping pace.

"I hear your gardens are beautiful." He said, his eyes looking out a window as they passed by slowly.

Elsa bit her lip. "They…they are beautiful, in summer." She corrected him lightly. To her kingdom, they were beautiful now. Her ice sculptures decorated their long corridors, sparkling beneath the cold sun light. But she couldn't chance him knowing about that. He had come from a neighboring Kingdom, and as far as she knew, he knew nothing of her magic. "Anna has a green thumb, you see. She cares for the plants and flowers during the spring and summer, when they flourish." Elsa continued. "But right now, the gardens are-" She swallowed. "Bare."

Santein kept his gaze ahead. "I see. That might be a bit far, anyways." He chuckled slightly. "How about you choose where we go?"

Elsa stopped. She, choose? Well what if she picked the wrong place? What if the castle wasn't interesting enough for him? What if he pressed to see the gardens? What if he did know about her powers? What if- Enough! Stop it! She screamed at herself. He just needs to walk, it doesn't matter where you take him!

"You don't have a preference?" She asked, hoping for a suggestion.

"Surprise me." He said, raising an eyebrow slightly, along with a slight smirk of a smile.

"Would you like to see the dining hall? It's not very far, but we'll have to turn around." She said, picking the first place that came to her mind.

Santein turned back towards her. She noticed he was slightly taller than her, despite her wearing her heeled shoes. "That's fine." He said. "Kaija has told me lots about it, I'd love to see it for myself." He took a step forward, coming to pace right with Elsa. In an odd way, she didn't mind his presence being so close to hers. It was different than when she walked with Danesk, even with Anna. He was the first person who didn't pull on her arm, didn't place a hand on her back. He simply walked with her, kindly, not too intrusive.

When they came to the steps, Elsa stepped down first. She turned back to look up at him. "Will the steps be alright? How do you feel?"

Santein shook his head. "I'm fine. Sorry I'm moving so slow, I'm a little winded. But I'd much rather be out here with you than stuck in bed, believe me."

Elsa smiled. He could have just said he'd rather be out here than in bed, but she couldn't help but allow her stomach to bubble at what he had said.

A good ten minutes later, they had finally made it to the dining hall. Elsa searched for any staff members, but was a bit shocked to find no one around. "What's wrong?" Santein asked, coming to a rest beside her.

"Oh, nothing." She said, waving her hand slightly for him to follow her into the hall. This time, she held the door for him, and he walked through slowly. "I'm just a bit surprised that none of the staff are around." She continued.

Santein shrugged. He let his eyes wander around the room, and Elsa took the moment to let her's wander over him. His light brown hair sat straight on his head, besides the fact that he had been in bed for days. His rounded, broad shoulders curved steeply down into his chest, which was outlined now by a light grey fur shirt that belonged to him. It had been washed and returned the day before. She blinked at his rugged chin, outlined with a slight coloring of stubble.

"The stained glass is magnificent." He said, and Elsa shook her thoughts away to look up at the giant window his gaze rested on. It was a quite realistic work of art of her parents, and Elsa frowned.

"It's a memorial of my parents." She said quietly, catching her voice before it cracked.

Santein looked back at her, a look of panic in his eyes. "Oh, Elsa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

She cut him off, swallowing. "No, it's alright."

He frowned. "I wasn't going to say it of course, but I was wondering why you're such a young Queen. King Ranfriar, of Arkinvale, is well of age."

Elsa looked up at him. "I've been Queen for almost three years now. It's nothing new to me. I lost my parents when I was eighteen." She said quietly. She could barely believe how much she trusted him to listen, how much she gave out to him.

Santein shook his head in sorrow. "That's terrible, I'm so sorry to hear that." He cuffed his hand over the back of his neck. "But the glass is a wonderful memorial for them. I can see where you got your good looks from." He met her eyes, and she smiled softly.

"The glass was put there right after their death. Somehow I keep missing it when I come in here." She revealed.

"Well, I guess you won't forget to look up next time, will you?" He smiled gently, and she nodded.

"I guess not." Elsa looped her fingers together awkwardly. Judging by the light outside the window, it would still be quite a while before Anna, Kristoff, and Kaija returned.

"Is there anywhere else we could go before heading back upstairs? Now that I'm up and about I think I can handle walking a bit longer." Santein said, and Elsa could hear the agitation that he tried to hide in his voice. She knew what it felt like to have to stay put, and she hated the thought of him feeling confined.

"I could show you where Kaija has been staying." Elsa suggested, raising her brow.

"Let me guess. It's upstairs?" He smirked, turning slowly back towards the door.

"Yes." She giggled, leading him back out through the hall and up the winding steps. When they arrived back at the top, Elsa waited patiently for him to catch his breath, before they finally came to Kaija's guest room.

Walking inside, Elsa looked around with wide eyes. All over the floor, dolls from her child hood sat in neat little rows. Dresses that had belonged to her and Anna sat folded on chairs, some lay out on the bed. On the back window, black bars decorated the hinges.

"Wow, it's wonderful in here." Santein voiced.

"This used to be a guest room, but when I moved out of our shared room as a kid, it was mine." Elsa said, remembering the long hours she sat staring out of that window. She could remember the constant worry she felt, the endless hours of concealing and trying to ignore her powers. She shuddered.

"Kaija's never had anything this nice." Santein said quietly. Elsa turned round to look at him. She wanted to ask him what he meant, but she knew better. Of all the people in Arendelle, she knew better than anyone when to leave a conversation as it was. "I know she really appreciates all you've done for her. She may not be thank you verbally, because she's so young." Santein said quietly.

Elsa thought back to the first moment she had seen Kaija. Anna held her tightly in her arms, her little body freezing and snow covered. Her breathing had stopped, her lips turned a pale blue. Anna's tears had fallen onto Kaija's forehead, and in the midst of fear and false hope, Elsa had somehow saved the little girl from death. Elsa felt a stab of horror as she realized Santein had no knowledge of this. His sister had been dead, and she fought the urge to reveal this to him. What would he think of her if he knew she had saved his sister's life? He would fear me, Elsa said to herself sadly. Just like he would fear my powers.

"It really isn't a problem, you are both welcome here. As long as you need to stay." Elsa said with a slight smile, surprising herself at the added ending.

Santein limped towards the window, gazing out of it. He looked at the dolls littering the floor, and turned his attention back up to Elsa. "Kristoff told me Kaija plays with these dolls all day. He even said he was planning on buying her a new one today." Santein sighed. "She loves Kristoff a lot, her father was never around, back home." Elsa raised a brow. Her father? Elsa thought. Wasn't her father his?

"That's terrible," Elsa voiced her thoughts, thinking of how empty her life would have been without having her father around, about how much she missed his presence. "But Anna tells me they both adore Kaija." That was the truth, Anna loved the girl. Elsa had recently had to warn her to not get too attached to the child, and she had caught Kristoff giving the girl a long, loving hug twice already.

Santein looked up, thankfulness glowing in his eyes. He cleared his throat, and looked down at his covered side. "Maybe it's time I go back to my room. I'm sure you've got many things to do."

Elsa shook her head. "Oh, no, I'm not busy." She said, eagerness pouring from her words. She liked this company, someone who treated her as if she was a normal person, not a powerful Ice Queen. Grant it, he didn't know about her powers, but he still didn't treat her like some of her visitors did. Her paper work could come later, she was used to staying up late anyways. "But you're right, you walked a lot today. I'm sure you're tired." She looked at the door. She couldn't sound so desperate for human conversation.

Santein walked back towards his room, Elsa pacing behind him. Once he got to his bed, he lay down slowly, painful huffs spilling from his lips. Elsa stayed in the door way, looking at the floor. She listened for him to get settled without meeting his eyes, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.

"Are you all settled, then?" Elsa asked, looking up slightly.

"Yup, I think so." Santein nodded. Sighing, Elsa threw him a smile, turning to leave. Just as she pulled the door shut, she heard his voice.

"Elsa?" Santein said, and Elsa poked her head back into the room.

"Yes?" She asked, a tickle of excitement hitting her chest. She knew that once she got back to her room, she wouldn't be able to focus on her papers. Santein was just too easy to think about.

"Could we do a castle walk every day? Only if you aren't busy, of course." He cleared his throat, his eyes flicking to his hands nervously. "I really enjoy talking to you."

Elsa's pulse quickened, and she was sure the deep blush that tickled her cheeks was plainly visible. She covered this up, making it look as if she was thinking about her schedule. "If we go every day at this time, I think I could fit a walk in." She said, her voice pitched a bit too high.

"Great. I can't wait." He said, holding her sight. Standing for a little longer than she should, she blinked, turning towards the door.

"And Elsa?" Santein said, making her role her eyes playfully as she peeked through the door once more. "You're also a good blusher." He winked.

Elsa pulled the door shut before he could catch how red her face became. Walking back to her room, she sat at her desk, twirling a pen in her fingers. She caught herself staring at the wall three times, replaying their conversation in her head. Shaking herself back to reality, she shivered.

What was happening to her?


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OncerRevolution

update- 3/6/15