Epilogue

A/N: Koala passes the story on to Ace. Here is a part of what she's written in her Memo. She always carries it around with her. Here, she describes how she met Ace one week after her recovery at Law's house. She treats this memo as if she's saying all this to her uncle Tiger. It's something to give herself some peace of mind and show her emotions and thoughts in a way. Law approves of this and asks her to do this more often, especially during the recovery. Since Koala is a storyteller herself, she'll describe it in a way a story would be told.

I chose to write something about the recovery because a friend and I too were really interested in that part. Normally, an epilogue is about some time in the future, but I chose to show something about the month Koala stayed over at Law's. I hope all of you will find this interesting too. ( There will be a part about her current situation after the Memo part too!)

Enjoy! And let me know your thoughts! (See end of chapter for another A/N)

Small trigger warning: This is really psychological and full with dark angst. It could trigger some people. A disorder will be mentioned, so will her post-traumatic state of mind be mentioned in detail. Keep in mind this is entirely Koala's interpretation of the situation.


[Memo: 25 October]

It's been two weeks since I've been at Law's place for rehabilitation. I am really tired when writing this down. It was another long day full with social skills training and sessions with Law. Every time I have to talk with him it feels like my brain is literally being drained of energy. He says I'm getting better and I'm improving my competences even though I don't really see any changes myself. After fourteen days I'd expect to see some changes because he is so confident about me recovering in a month but we're already halfway through.. I just don't get it. What is the point of all this? After all that's happened.. Does he really expect me to be 'normal' like any other human being? The memories will always be there. The secrets will always be there. The questions will always be there. I can't simply get over all that. This is too much. Law told me something today.. Something very confusing and I don't want to believe it.. I don't want to be labeled like that.. He said I'm showing symptoms of a reactive attachment disorder..

The name only…

I can't have that..

I don't push people away, not once I really trust them. He knows why I'm like this. How does that mean I have an attachment disorder. I get why he thinks that could be the case and maybe I do have some symptoms of it.

But the feeling of having an actual disorder..

Uncle.. I hate that.

I trust the Sun members, Nami, Marco and Law with my life. I would never push them away!

I'm just scared to lose people, to get hurt or hurt them.

When that creepy smile appeared on my face in front of that Ranya girl she called me a creep, which is obvious! I was a creep indeed. I hate that smile and it's an awful habit to have left from my childhood.

And sure, I did miss out on important phases in my childhood because I was a slave, but that's why Marco, Law and me have been working on my progress the past few years right?

You know, the first week I didn't want to participate at all. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

It hurt.

Not physically, but mentally.

I even ran away and Marco, Ace and Law ended up searching for me.. I know I couldn't handle myself at that moment, but it felt so.. as if I was the mad one.. I know it's stupid, but that's really just what I thought.

It was in the middle of the night when I ran away and it seemed hours before I stopped running. I was somewhere in the back streets and hearing the sea in the distance managed to calm me down a little.

At some point, and I don't know how they found me, Ace came walking down road and sat down next to me. Oddly enough, he seemed quite relaxed. His arms rested on his knees and he stared at the sky where the stars shone brightly.

I didn't feel like explaining myself, nor did I understand why Ace wasn't saying anything or taking any action.. He found me right? So why not bring me back? Instead, he kept on staring at the sky and waited until I would start talking.

But I wasn't going to talk.. I felt vulnerable and weak. The last I needed was having to explain myself. How was he going to understand anyway?

It wasn't like Ace and I knew each other very well. Back when Marco took me in temporarily, Ace had been there too with Luffy.

The little brother always tried to talk to me but I never responded. Ace didn't try either. He was there for his own reasons and didn't particularly trust anyone back then. So we ended not getting to know or trust each other at all until Sabo and I met many years later.

I kept my legs pulled up with my face hidden in my arms. As I refused to look up at first because the tears refused to stop coming out Ace rested his hand on my upper arm and gently caressed it.

I never really paid attention to it, but somehow, he did manage to calm me down. It probably took him an hour or so, but sometimes a simple gesture does a lot right?

Ace had this calming aura engulfing him even though he always seemed so reckless and was always joking around..

'' I-I'm not going back.. '' I muttered with a muffled voice.

'' I'm not asking you to, Koala. '' He answered soothingly.

'' Then why are you here? '' I still didn't look up..

'' I was wondering why you decided to run away from your battle. ''

'' Battle? '' What was he saying?

'' Yeah.. '' He squeezed in my arm a little before continuing. '' Hey, listen.. I know this shit ain't easy, in fact, it's really tough to deal with and everyone knows that. Law asks a lot from you, he knows that perfectly well himself. It's just, he is also confident you can do it. He has faith in you. This sounds really philosophical and all, but for you, it's a battle. A tough one you have to win. '' He brought his face closer to mine, not that it would enable him to see my face now.. '' You've got to find a way so you won't have to give up. ''

I quietly listened to what he had to say but did he really expect me to change my mind just because of a good lecture from him? It did trigger me however as a lump formed in my throat and my arms slowly but surely started to shake again. This was exactly the feeling I tried to run from earlier. I hated these feelings.. They made me feel weak. '' I'm mad.. '' I whispered without thinking.

I could feel him moving slightly. '' Why? ''

Slowly looking up I met with his gaze. He always had this evil looking glare but now nothing but confidence like Sabo's and care was shown in them. He was wearing his orange cowboy hat with his black knee long trousers and of course.. no tee. '' I'm traumatized, never really recovered.. And because of what happened two weeks ago, how can I not be mad? ''

'' I see a girl trying to live through the day though. And being mad doesn't have to be bad. '' He raised his eyebrows and then smirked.

Confused, which was clearly shown on my face he explained.

'' I made you look up. ''

'' How is that an achievement? '' I asked a little offended. Was that really what he was trying to do?

'' It didn't look like you were going to open up to me at all, but here you are, confessing what you find a bad trait about yourself while looking me in the eyes. '' I didn't really get why looking at him was so important for him. '' It shows you did improve, Koala. ''

'' How? '' I now whispered.

'' Remember when we just met? ''

'' Back when Marco found me on the street? ''

'' Yeah, we never even said hi to each other, let alone talk. Well, it was partly my fault but alas. We refused to acknowledge each other until you met Sabo a few weeks ago. ''

I guessed there was some difference between back then and now but what was the point of mentioning that now? '' I think you changed more than I did then. ''

'' What makes you think that? '' He asked raising one eyebrow so high it made me question his physique in general. He whisked some hair strands from my forehead with an amused smirk.

'' Well, you're the one trying to communicate with me. All I do is avoid everyone. '' Before I could regret it I blurted it out. And hell, I did regret saying it now because it meant Ace had won our discussion. This was kind of the point he was trying to make right? A light blush made itself known on my cheeks and I quickly looked away, refusing to simply give in.

'' Or are you trying to get some space since you're not used to be confined so much? '' I didn't want to look at his smug expression, because I just knew he felt superior for having achieved this. I wasn't easy to deal with as everyone knew..

'' You seem to know a lot about all this mental stuff. '' Still looking away I said it with a pout but as he didn't answer I had no choice but to turn back to look at him. He seemed to be in deep thought and his normal grumpy look was back on his face. I thought his rather caring look was a tad more adorable. '' Did I offend you? '' I asked hesitantly.

Ace shook his head while clenching his jaw. '' Everyone has their own story right? '' He simply answered which confused me. I could think of the several meanings behind these words but as I thought he indicated here he didn't want to talk about it, then who was I to ask?

Holding back my curiosity I stared forward at the tiles covering the house in front of us. Red, orange and yellow flowers were painted on them for decoration. '' I'll go back.. '' I finally answered after we both stayed quiet for what seemed more than a few minutes only.

He sighed deeply and brought his forehead to the side of my head. '' If there's anything I can help you with like running away from Law for a day, then I'll gladly help you, Koala. I really hope we can get along from now on. I'm not going to let you leave Sabo just like that after all. '' With a knowing smile he pulled back and stood up. He reached out his hand for me so I could get up easier. I looked at it, thinking about his words once again. Since when was he able to use such deep words? He really left me thinking a lot.

Knowing I could trust him I took his hand and stood up.


~ Three months after Koala's recovery~

Ace:

'' I still wonder why you showed me this. You make me sound evil, Koala. '' Ace finally spoke up after Koala showed him her memo.

They were sitting on the sofa in the living room of his and his two brothers' home. Koala was clutching to a pillow he was starting to feel sorry for and as always, he had a hard time being his usual 'mean' self in front of her. She had these extreme puppy eyes and pout after all. It was kind of hard refusing that.

'' I appreciate it though. It really helped me to understand you better. '' He quickly added. She slowly took her memo back as the front door opened and the blondie walked in. He wrapped his arms around Koala's neck and kissed her from above on her mouth. Koala, of course, eagerly kissed back and when Ace noticed Sabo's tongue trying to slip into her mouth Ace made a dissatisfied noise like an angry duck. '' Not here! Damn, you just got back man! ''

Sabo pulled back and snickered. '' I've got to show her my love. ''

'' With your tongue? Keep it to the bedroom. You're together long enough now, no need to brag about it to everyone. ''

Koala had an apologetic look on her face while staring at her memo. Sabo noticed it and smiled. '' It's alright baby, I know. '' He meant he knew how much it took her to reveal something about herself and he really had all the patience in the world to allow Koala trying to open up to Sabo and all the others in the familia.

Ace actually felt really honored and surprised she came to him with the part where he found her alone in the backstreets.

He now understood how much it hurt Sabo having had to witness Koala in such a vulnerable state. Ace had felt quite the same. It really was as if they could break her so easily as if you were trying to hold ice and make sure it wouldn't break until you showed it to the others.

Sabo nuzzled his face on top of her head and stayed quiet now, expecting no answer from Koala.

Ace thought about the stuff he told Koala back then and found it strange that was one of the things she truly cherished. He didn't say anything that important right? He mostly rambled on hoping he could persuade her into going back to Law. And maybe he was trying so hard for Sabo's sake too. He had never seen him so quickly opening up to a girl and trying his hardest to earn her trust. It would be a waste if it ended just like that.

Koala had gotten accustomed to everything and they really had gotten close to each other. And not only that. She had also opened up to more people, including Ace and Luffy and was starting to genuinely enjoy her life more now.

Sabo seemed to be brimming with excitement and couldn't hold back any longer. '' I found a publisher who is going to release my book! '' He excitedly shouted now literally jumping around in the room. '' It's not that expensive either! The cover is going to look so awesome! '' Hold his fists happily before his chest with his wide grin he looked at Ace and Koala, waiting for their response.

Koala's eyes beamed with excitement too and congratulated her boyfriend happily.

'' Hey, well done! Now you can get angry readers and fangirls that will write smutty fanfiction about your male characters! '' Lost for other and perhaps better or at least encouraging words, Ace really was happy for him. He had searched for one for a long time now and really was planning to make it his career. This was a good start.

Sabo stopped dancing mid-air with an annoyed look and went back to nuzzling with Koala instead.

She sighed and showed Ace she was clearly not satisfied with the way he congratulated his brother, though, it really was just Ace being Ace.

Someone had to state the truth right?


Yoo~

I finally finished the Epilogue and hope it's satisfying enough for everyone! I don't really know when I'll release CoLD2 which could be just as interesting as the first part!

I want to thank you all for you support in this and hope for more in the future! (You'll have to follow me to receive a mail when I'll start updating the second part!)

See ya!