Bigger Than Us

Chapter 12: I'll love you even when you hate me

Disclaimer: I own nothing

An: I am sorry for a slight delay, but here's the chapter, thanks so much for all the positive reviews. On with the story.

"What" she asked unable to comprehend the words that had come out of his mouth

"I'm so sorry" he said, tears in his eyes

"What the fuck Shane" she said, her voice quivering

Mitchie stood there, glued to the floor, she was numb, he had done some horrible things before, but this, she never expected this. He had made love to somebody else, he had given his body to a girl who's name she didn't want to know, a name if she heard would cause her to do an unthinkable thing.

Shane stood there, he was numb, he knew that this was coming yet he couldn't help but be shocked, shocked from any feeling whatsoever.

"I am sorry" he cried after her

"I don't wanna hear it" she said, going out to the garden

"I was drunk" he said, trying to reason with her

"And that makes it any better" she asked, her face becoming puffy

Tears streamed down her face as she thought about him with another woman, another body that he had felt inside him, another kiss from another set of lips, while she sat at home awaiting his arrival, she had even planned a special night with him because she had missed him. How stupid could she have been? she asked herself to even consider havin the slightest bit of trust in him. Her family had thought he had changed, but he hadn't, he had just done it to get in the public eye again, the only reason he ever did anything.

"No I'm not saying that" he said, knowing her hurt was caused by him yet again

"Then what are you saying Shane" she asked, whipping around to face him

"I'm saying that I'm so sorry"

He had no idea how to make things any better, he had no idea how to make her forgive him, he doubted that she could ever get over this. He did hope though, that she would be able to, though there's only so many chances a person could give someone without feeling like a fool.

"Is that supposed to make it any better" she asked, sitting beside the pool

"No, nothing can" he said, his face blotchy from the consistent flow of tears over the past few days

"When you took off the purity ring, it didn't give you a free pass to sleep with anybody you wanted" she said, her head pounding, her stomach aching

"I know, I did it for you" he said, longing in her eyes

"And I agreed to marry you" she said, fingering with her engagement ring that he had given her

"Why do I trust you" she asked, looking at him, sobbing heavily

Shane looked at her and he broke down inside, how could he have done this, he knew that Mitchie loved him, she was the one person in his life that put even a smidgen of trust in him time after time and he had thrown it back in her face. She had defended him when anybody else would have, sold the story to the paper, told his mom, but not her, she trusted him, and she loved him he knew that, but what he had done was unforgivable, it wasn't that he had lied to her over something small, he had given himself to someone else, he had succumb to such pleasure, meaningless pleasure meaning that he had never once thought about her. He felt too guilty to do anything

"I don't know" he said, tears staining his clothes

"You just always seem to do things Shane, without even thinking about it"

The thought of any woman other than her touching Shane made her sick, all the nights she could have slept with anybody, and she didn't, she had resisted because she truly loved him. Though he couldn't leave it in his pants for more than two days, she felt betrayed, sick and most of all a fool. A fool for not listening to her original idea and staying away from him, not telling him, but she had to pick up that phone that night, she had to tell the truth, she had to be the bigger person.

She still couldn't look at him

"Mitchie" he sobbed "I don't know what to say"

"How about goodbye for a start" she asked, feeling so betrayed

"I'm not saying goodbye" he cried "Never, no matter what it takes"

He was sobbing his heart out, she couldn't bare to look at it, because if she did she knew that she'd forgive him, want to take him back, want to hug him and tell him that he could come back, but she knew she was made a fool of enough times. Not anymore.

"Shane" she sighed, her sobs interrupting her "Please go"

"Look it meant nothing I swear, it was just one time, one mistake, please Mitchie, I'll do anything" he said, with more feeling than he'd ever managed

"Yeah that's very apparent" she shouted, her voice a little too high for her liking

"Mitchie" came a voice from the living room

Connie appeared in the garden, a newspaper in her hand, she was confused and judging by the way her brow furrowed she was not in a good mood.

"Mitchie have you seen this" she asked, holding up the black and white printed broadsheet

Shane looked at the newspaper and gulped, that was the story, she had sold it, she had made the situation even worse, she had told the whole world. It was bad enough that he was losing the love of his life, his future wife, but now this on top of it. He had no way to explain himself, there was no point, she would believe what was written in black and white in front of her, after all he wasn't a complete angel and she was no idiot. Well maybe a fool but not an idiot, Connie thought to herself.

Mitchie sat back on the garden chair, her mouth covered by her hand, she read, not able to take it in.

Gray Area

Today it emerged that twenty-two year old Jacey Malone from Canada was on holiday in NYC when she met twenty-one year old pop sensation Shane Gray at a small club in the backbones of the city. Malone says she was aware of the bad-boys image, but couldn't help the attraction she felt towards him. Saying that "I immediatley notcied Shane looking at me and couldn't help but feel flattered, I mean what girl wouldn't" she laughs, her voice however turns slightly more serious as she tells the daily enquirer how used she felt after simply inviting the recently engaged player to the dance floor to bust a few moves. "His drinking got out of hand" she explains "As did mine", however she was still well aware of who she was dealing with, she tells us of the drinking and of the night of passion they shared "Shane and I were really into it" she explains to us "We were dancing and all of a sudden the mood changed and it felt like I couldn't breathe, the tension, you could say could have been cut with a very sharp knife"

"I respected Shane for what he had done, and had no intentions of ever putting the moves on him, which I'm sure if he was sober he wouldn't have done" . However it did happen, says the twenty-two year old, "We did it in the club" she sighs, "It wasn't the most romantic setting to lose your virginity in" she says, her voice filled with disappointment "It wasn't exactly romantic in any sort of way" she sighs "I was saving myself for someone really special, and I feel a fool for doing such a thing" she says, her voice now quickening "I feel even worse for his poor baby"

She goes on to give us some information as to the consequences of their evening of passion "The thing I regret even more is telling him that I'm on the pill, which I am not, since I have never had sex before or have never had a reason such as irregular periods to take it and now I fear that I may be pregnant" She does however say, that she may not be sure and has since taken the emergency morning after pill after realising what she had done. She hopes that it will work as she doesn't wish to reek havock on Shane's life or his close relations.

"This is not what I had planned" Jacey continues "But things happen mistakes are made" she sighs. We here at Daily enquirer hope for Shane's sake that this one doesn't cost him the woman he loves so much.

"Mitchie" he said, begging for her to let him explain

"I don't wanna hear it" Mitchie said, her hand over her stomach

"Please Mitchie, it was a mistake"

"Shane they all seem to be little mistakes, I've forgiven all of them, but this" she spat "This is unforgivable, one tiny mistake every time only makes one huge mistake, you" she cried looking him in the eyes, finally "You were my biggest one of all"

"Let me explain"

"Fine" she said, her eyes for the first time meeting his sad tear stained ones

"Did you enjoy it" she asked

Shane shrugged his shoulders "I don't know, I was too drunk"

"Get out" she cried after hearing him say that

"Mitchie I'm not leaving until you forgive me" Shane cried, as Connie watched from the corner, she knew that she could do nothing about it as much as she wanted to, this was their mess, their life and they were adults, at some time she had to cut away from her only child.

"You'll be leaving now" she sobbed "Because I'll never forgive you after this one" she screamed "Never"

Shane felt the rough palm of a hand reach out and hit him, holding his cheek he felt the pain of his cheek all through his body, it was a pain like no other because it represented the end of them, it was a pain he hoped he'd never have to feel, but he knew he needed to finally realise what he had done.

Throwing her engagement ring at him "Get out" she screamed as he picked up the ring, tears falling on to it

"Please" he sobbed as she began to push him away

"Get out" she cried, her face so upset, he had never seen such pain in anyone before

As she threw him out the front door, he stood there momentarily, pulling the picture from the scan from his wallet, looking at it he slid down the door, that was it she was gone, gone forever, he sat there for hours, hoping she'd come out, but after an hour or so he got up, realising that she wasn't going to come.

Kissing the photo of his baby, he looked back at the door as he headed out the driveway "I love you" he whispered through his sobs