"The cat in the hat came back, wrecked a lot of havoc on the way/Always had a smile and a reason to pretend/But their world has flat backgrounds and little need to sleep but to dream/The sidewinder sleeps on his back." – R.E.M.

McGucket aimed his weapon, pulled the trigger, which began charging the weapon. Bill only made a weird, guttural, gelatinous laugh.

"Oh, you really think a slow weapon like that can stop me?" Bill said, morphing yet again into another unspeakable, triangular monstrosity, "I could just snap my fingers and you'd be in three pieces. In fact..." He raised his hand. Just then, a burst of energy hit Bill in the back. It came from Ford's 618 battle rifle.

"Damn," Ford said, "I thought that would stop him for sure." He paused and began reloading a new energy cell cartridge. "My energy dampening field may have worn off, Bill, but that only means you have to deal with both of us now."

"Don't mind if I do!" Bill shouted, and raised two of his now multiple hands, telekinetically lifting and choking both Ford and McGucket. They both held their respective weapons ready, trying to focus through the pain.

Pacifica didn't waste time. She aimed the Yithian weapon at the new creature that was Bill and charged the weapon. Dipper grabbed the muzzle of the gun and steadied it directly at Bill's largest (and what Dipper assumed was his main fundamental) eye.

A burst of lightning streaked out and illuminated the cavern in a bright flash of white. It collided with Bill's eye, causing it to jitter and finally explode in another burst of light and ectoplasm.

"OW!" Bill shrieked, which echoed through each subsequent tunnel, "MY EYE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG THAT WILL TAKE ME TO REGENERATE!"

"You didn't count on me, did you, jerk?" Pacifica said.

That was the break Ford and McGucket needed. Ford launched another energy blast at Bill, causing him to screech out a hideous, unearthly noise, stunning him for a moment. McGucket's bazooka finally finished charging and launched a bright multicolored ball, which promptly engulfed Bill.

"Time fer ah taste of yer own med'cin," McGucket yelled, "Yer the reason I'm all katty-wonkered. Now you git to see a ringsidewampis world. Don't that just crack yer yaller?"

Dipper looked at the bubble. While he could see some preview in each when he was close to them, he couldn't see through the one that McGucket's gun had made. Perhaps it's properties were different, but it seemed to contain him for the moments it was there.

"I wonder what kind of weird nightmares Bill's seeing in there," he said.

Within the bubble, Bill immediately returned to his original form. He felt that his eye had returned to him in no time at all. He opened it and immediately regretted this action.

He realized where he was: the Second Dimension.

He found himself at the edge of what looked like a cardboard cut-out forest, like those one would see in a puppet show. Outside of it was a large cardboard cut-out of a meadow that he perceived to stretch on forever, but to a human eye, it would have also looked flat, all with an equally flat background of a blue sky, complete with a dull yellow sun with a crudely drawn smile on it. All the while, small cardboard bunnies moved up and down over a distant "hill," while the Disney song "It's a Small World" played at a bursting decibel from the flat, blue ceiling of this bizarre world.

This was the last place he ever wanted to be again.

"NOOOO!" he screamed in agony.

"Bill!" came a loud voice from stage right. It was a cardboard puppet of his friend Cthulhu, hobbling onto the scene, "or whatever you have decided to call this avatar of yours. You have overstepped your boundaries in creating chaos in the Earth realm. While you may have had your fun in your trickery in Egypt and your torment of that insect Randolph Carter, the realm is not to be destroyed just yet. We must agree unanimously before we obliterate any fledgling dimension!"

"Cthulhu is correct," another voice came from stage left. It was a puppet of Yog-Sothoth, his tentacles not naturally moving but still hobbling into view. For some reason, there was a cardboard top hat on the top of what one might perceive to be his head, though it looked about the same as the rest of his body. "The Earth realm is meant to be off limits until the stars have aligned."

"AAARRRGHGHRRGHRGHHRHGHRHAAARAAAGH!" screamed a colossal, indescribable cardboard puppet of Azathoth against the blue background.

"You heard what your king said," Cthulhu responded, "Now you must face the punishment for your insolence!"

"You know, guys," Bill retorted, "you've had this a long time coming." He pointed his finger at them, expecting to obliterate them, but nothing happened. He looked at the finger, confused about what this could mean.

"Ha," said the cardboard puppet of Hustur, entering from stage right, "Did you really think you still had power here? No, fool. Your hubris has come to a head." All the while, the "I Love You, You Love Me" Barney song played in the distance.

"NOOO!" Bill shouted again.

Outside the weirdness bubble, Ford was already examining the ground. He paced in a circle along each large glyph on the floor.

"I've seen this before," he said, "In a nearby cave, I saw a wheel with these same markings surrounding Bill's effigy. Now, each of us must form within this circle and conveniently surround Bill while he is contained." Each there assembled decided where his or her post would be based on their images. It took much deliberation, but each found their correct symbol. Everyone knew Wendy was cool, so there was no doubt she would be the ice pack. The llama was up for debate until Dipper remembered the toy llama Pacifica had stuffed into his pocked several nights before.

During the deliberation, Gideon had something to say to Mabel.

"Listen, Mabel," Gideon began, getting her attention while she hopped onto the shooting star glyph, "I wanted to say that I'm sorry at least for all the inconsiderateness on my part. I feel like I've done much untoward, and I'm mighty sorry for messin' with y'all's summer break. Seeing you so downtrodden in that there bubble, well, I felt like I had to bring you out of it. So, if you can't forgive me, that's okay, I just wanted to let you know..."

"Shh, it's okay," Mabel said, patting his shoulder, "You're starting to learn the basic human concept that we know as empathy! It means that really, now, when all's said and done, there's nothing to forgive. You're destined to be a great guy, Gideon Gleeful."

"Does that mean there might be a chance of us courting again?" Gideon asked, a huge smile bursting upon his face.

"Don't push your luck, boy," Mabel said, pushing him back by the chest with two fingers, "Down, boy, down."

"And Wendy, I'm sorry for being a manipulative asshole," Robbie said, "It was wrong of me to use that mind control music on you."

"I've already forgiven you for that," Wendy responded, "Anyway, I think you and Tambry are great for each other. One thing, though; rather than talk about yourself or your band, why not listen to her talk about something she's into. Just mention or social media sites to her, and she'll talk your ear off about semantic web and search engine optimization. Didn't make a lot of sense to me, but that's her passion."

"And are you okay, Mr. Pines?" Soos asked Stan, "When I saw you without your mouth in that bubble, I just knew I had to get you out of there."

"Thanks, Soos," Stan said, "It's both a blessing and a curse to have such a bad mouth. It gets me into and out of trouble, and I think that's why Bill tried to take it away, the jerk. Anyways, after all this is over, I'm taking a long vacation...and I was thinking I'm going to need to leave someone in charge of the shack." Soos gasped.

"You don't mean..." Soos croaked.

"That's right, kiddo," Stan said, "I'm making you the new Mr. Mystery!"

"I don't know what to say," Soos said, choking on his words in astonishment.

"You can thank me after all this is over," Stan said, "Right now, I think Egghead over there has a plan." And indeed he did. The group had found their markers and awaited Frod's instructions.

"Everyone, hold hands," Ford said, "And concentrate." Each member of the wheel held the others hand: Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, Wendy, Soos, Robbie, Gideon, Stan, Ford, and McGucket all began concentrating on the object in the middle and began to feel a warm glow surrounding them. Mabel took one last glance over at Dipper and Pacifica, who were holding each others hands tightly as if they didn't want to let go. She smiled in that she had not only made a friend of an enemy but also that maybe her brother and her former rival had grown so close; maybe they would stay that way and continue to make each other happy as they grew older. After their lavish wedding, what would they name the baby? she thought. These thoughts filled her with joy, and she concentrated on the feeling as the room was enveloped with light.

A cone of white energy shot forth from the circle, engulfing Bill and bursting through the ceiling of the cavern, creating a hole to the surface world. Bill could be heard screaming "NOOO!" from the bubble as the room became ever brighter.

The ten there assembled could feel a growing peace within them. It was a feeling of warmth, bliss, tranquility, and stillness. It was as if the very essence of divinity surrounded them, the Love that moved the sun and the other stars, as Dante described it. Was this were God dwelt?

The next thing any of them knew, they were on the ground, heads pounding, and a bright blue sky opening above them from the cavern ceiling.

"Hey!" they could hear the voice of Nate call, "They're all down here! Get the truck and the rope!"

At last, after spending what seemed like forever in the dark, they were finally set free and heading home.

And I have one last chapter after this. The epilogue I have in mind is going to be a bit bittersweet, which you can pretty much expect what's going to happen, as it's pretty similar to the end of the television show. But I want to hear from you all. How do you think I should end it? How should I make it different? What would have improved the ending of the show? Please let me know in your comments, and I'll see if I can improve my outline.