Hello again, I got a new chapter for y'all!
Righty, this time I want to thank ABCSonicKirbyWarriors and TheBlueAcid for the two reviews!
Gah, this piece of history was frustrating. I don't know why I struggled so much with it, but I did. And it's not finished yet. Have mercy, internet, make my searches easier!
Ah well, it's an important part in Prussian and Teutonic history this week, and I hope you'll like it!
22 February 1454
Now what?
Poland declared war on me again. And now, my land has been divided as well -2 days ago, on the 20th, delegates from the 'Prussian Confederation' arrived in Krakow and asked for Prussia to become a part of Poland. They want me to merge with the Kingdom of Poland! The Teutonic Knights don't, obviously. So now this will be a war against my own people, whichever side I choose. Why? Why?
I didn't want to show any of the Teutonic Knights how lost I feel right now, but that's seriously how I feel: lost, confused, torn. Whether I like it or not, both the Prussians and the Teutonic Knights are my people now. I've represented both for over a century now, there isn't really a way back to just represent one side in this battle.
I've been having headaches for months now, I guess I now know why... And now that it's come to this, I feel like my head is going to split in half.
At least Poland has been fighting with Lithuania now. The two lovey-dovey idiots have finally broken up... (well, to be fair, they weren't ever 'lovey-dovey' from what I could see, but hey, I'm still a kid, let me have my imagination) So I guess there's a very slim chance that Lithuania will be aiding Poland in tearing me apart for real this time.
I'm hoping I can turn to my long-time allies, the Livonian Order, again. But they've been clashing with Denmark, so... Maybe my family. I'm sure Holy Rome will sent troops for me if I ask him. I could also ask for England or France, since they're both amazingly strong, but they've just finished their war (can you believe it? After 116 years, they've finally quit!) and I suppose they're both too weak to help now -at least they won't be backing up Poland, either. Ha, England, the poor guy... Not only was Scotland fighting with France, I heard Wales also rebelled against him at one point. Well, I guess that's what you get. It taught me one thing: don't fight your family, shit will go down.
Anyway, for now I must trust in my own strength to overcome this. My own strength and a good dose of alcohol for the headache, because I swear, my head will explode at this rate.
And besides, we've got one person on our side that the Prussian Confederation and Poland don't:
Gott ist mit uns.
Right now Prussia was in Cölln, on of Brandenburg's cities, for a treaty with her to pawn back a stretch of land which had been sold to the Teutonic Order earlier that century. They had no real use for it now, and only more so did they need money to fund their army in this war. They had just about settled everything and were ready to leave, when Brandenburg approached Prussia.
"Can you go three decades without fighting?" she asked him flatly. "This is ridiculous, Prussia! I don't even remember how many times you've fought Poland over the past century, but it's been many times."
"I lost count, too," Prussia just sighed, looking away. "But I didn't start this! It's Poland who declared war on the Teutonic Order, Poland and the Prussian Estates!"
"Now it is," Brandenburg agreed, narrowing her dark eyes at her younger cousin, looking both angry and worried. "But you started plenty! Why? A country that does not wage war cannot live, I know that. But a country that does not know peace cannot live long. You will kill yourself like this, Prussia. Mark my words, war will end you one day."
Prussia gritted his teeth at her words and got up, straightening his back so he looked as tall as her. "You don't know me, Brandenburg," he muttered through clenched jaws. "You don't know me at all. You've seen me only a handfull of times, and none of those times have you seen me on the battlefield!"
"No, but I did see you shortly after your battles!" Brandenburg protested then, raising her voice. "You were hurt, Prussia, and you were sick! You haven't even fully recovered from all the troubles you've had this century -you might get yourself killed if you wage war against Poland now!"
"When did you learn to predict the future?" Prussia challenged then, not waiting for an answer as he went on angrily: "It was war that gave birth to me, Brandenburg, and it will be war that will make me great! I might as well not be Germania's son, but Ares'! Ares, the great God of War! I was born to fight and born to win." He raised his voice for everyone to hear then, and he himself didn't even know whether that was intentional or not. But everyone, everyone on this damned planet should know just who he was, and he'd let them know right this moment. "I'm a knight, Brandenburg. I'm a single knight with the strength of an army, and one day I will be invincible."
Brandenburg stared at him in shock, silent for a moment. Then she narrowed her eyes in a glare and disgust shone in her blue irises. "You've a sick mind, Prussia," she muttered softly. "If it is true what you say, and you were born to wage war against others, then you were still wrong about one thing: that wouldn't make you the son of Ares, but of Hades. At least Ares knew when to stop killing. I never wanted to believe what the people said about you, Prussia," she added then, taking a step closer to him threateningly, "but the more I hear you talk now, the more I realise that the people were right all along. You're a demon, Prussia."
The red-eyed country only grinned at her. "Isn't that what we all are? We're angels and we're demons, dear cousin. With every beat of my heart I have served God, but at the same time I was destined by the Lord to conquer and kill. It is in the nature of a knight to humbly follow orders from above." He turned around then and walked away. Just before leaving the room, he halted, though he didn't look back as he spoke. "You will see, Brandenburg. I may win this war or I may lose it, but it will not end me. War can never end me." Then he left, leaving his cousin and the humans to stare after him.
He didn't leave the castle yet, wandering around through the halls, pondering. Maybe he'd gone too far, but he would never let anyone tell him he couldn't do this. He could do anything. He knew with all his heart that, while it hurt him and losses weakened him greatly for some time, fighting was truly all he could do to survive in this world. He wouldn't fight so much if he had any other choice, but with other countries around him like this, greater and stronger than he was, he sometimes felt like a cornered animal. And it were cornered animals that were the first to lash out and the most dangerous of all. What could he do but show them his strength and fearlessness in battle? "Nothing," he mumbled to himself, answering his question. "This is all I can do. And I'm happy to do it."
Straying onto the castle grounds, he spotted a chapel and decided to go there for the time being. To his relief, there was no one inside at the moment. He needed the silence and solitude to think right now. This serence place finally helped him calm down again, and he grabbed a large, burning candle to lit some smaller ones that had gone out when he walked in, letting in a breeze as he had opened the door. He felt the heat of the small flames on his face as he stood there, staring at the altar. With a sigh, Prussia knelt down and closed his eyes. "Please," he whispered after a little while. "Please, just help me. I don't know what to do anymore. I... I don't know what I am anymore." He could only wonder now if his prayers for help and clarity were heard, but if he didn't try they would never be. "Am I supposed to lose my place as Prussia? A-am I just the Teutonic Order... a wandering order? Is that the reason You make me fight so many battles?" He had to know, though he didn't expect to get an answer to his questions. "To drive me from the land that isn't mine? Is that it? I don't know anymore..." He sighed deeply and leaned against the cold marble of the altar then, shivering for only a moment. A few minutes passed as he sat there in silence like that, waiting for a response, when he suddenly heard a sound, quickly coming closer to him. His eyes shot open as he recognised the sound as a bird's wings flapping. The animal flew right over to him and landed on his knee without hesitation. Prussia stared at it for a moment, then tentatively reached out to it. The bird didn't move when he softly touched its feathers, and almost leaned into his hand as he petted it. Now there was his answer: whatever he did, at least he wouldn't be alone. He wasn't a monster, either. if he were, this tiny, vulnerable animal would've been terrified of him and fled. It wouldn't even have come near him. Birds didn't act like this, they never did. What can it be, but a sign from God? he wondered with a smile. He took a deep breath, feeling calm and happy again now, reassured that he wasn't alone.
He stayed there for a while. The young country wasn't sure how much time had passed before he heard voices outside, but it was a long time. "Brandenburg, you said yourself, that boy is a demon!" came the voice of a human.
"I was angry when I said that!" his cousin replied -still sounding angry. "He's not. He's really not, he's just... I don't know..." He could hear Brandenburg sigh then. "I don't know what's wrong with him, but something is. I wonder if it is because of his origins that he is like this? He's always been different from the rest of us in that one respect..."
Prussia gritted his teeth listening to this. So he was different from 'them'? 'They' were probably all the other countries on this planet. He opened his eyes then, looking up at Brandenburg, who had just entered the chapel and was approaching him carefully. She looked startled when he suddenly moved like that, and he figured she must've thought he'd been asleep or something. "Why does everyone think I'm so different from the other countries?" he asked her softly, a slight quiver making its way into his voice, though he couldn't tell himself whether it was one of anger or something else.
Brandenburg stared at him for a moment in silence then looked away guiltily. "I-I thought you hadn't heard that..." She looked at Prussia for a moment longer, saw the look in his eyes as he stared up at him, then turned to the human who had come here with her. "Leave us alone, please. This is between me and my cousin." The human only gave a small bow to his country and then left silently. Brandenburg then sighed and sat down in front of Prussia. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "F-for calling you a demon earlier... and for talking about you behind your back like this."
Prussia didn't respond immediately, only pulled up his knees and placed his chin on them. "And I'm sorry for yelling at you like that," he mumbled in response. "I went too far with that..."
"You did," Brandenburg agreed with a short nod. "You shouldn't talk like that, Prussia. I understand that you don't want people to think you're weak, but saying you love war so much, love to kill and love to fight, will make them think you're the devil."
Those words struck deeper than Prussia thought they would, and he had to bite his lip to stay quiet. Brandenburg noticed, though, and he knew that, so he gave up quite quickly. "No matter what I do to fit in with the world," he choked out softly, "it's never enough! E-even you think I'm different. Why do I have to be the only one who's so different?" Right then a sob made it past his lips, and ashamed, he looked away. "I don't want to be alone all the time!" Brandenburg then put her arms around him, silently holding him like that, that single motion warming his heart. "Y-you're still my ally, right?" Prussia asked her softly, trying to relax. "We... we're friends, right?"
Nodding, Brandenburg answered, "Why did you even think you were alone? You have me, you have Holy Rome... you're friends with Hungary, right? I know you don't see the rest of the family that often, but the majority of them speak positively about you. You're not alone, Prussia. Never."
Suddenly Prussia remembered the bird, which had flown off him a little while earlier. He looked up over Brandenburg's shoulder, and saw the animal still sitting on the altar, staring down at them. The young country smiled for a moment, then closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Brandenburg, hugging her back. What more did he need? He really wasn't alone.
23 February 1454
Okay, yesterday I was being really unawesome, and I'd like to forget anything that happened that day. I'm on my way back to Marienburg now, my deals with Brandenburg done. Now I've got all the time to focus on my war against Poland. But I must say, so far it feels like the Prussians are doing well in driving out the Order...
Damn it all.
Days later, Prussia cringed as he sat on his horse, alarming the knights around him. "Is something the matter, Prussia?" one of them asked, coming to ride a bit closer to him.
Prussia didn't answer, focusing on his breathing, trying to locate the centre of the pain that was radiating in his body. When pain struck with a second wave, he realised with a shiver that is was very close to his heart. "They're at Marienburg!" he choked out, clenching his jaws and urging his horse to run faster. They were so close now, maybe they could fight them off if they arrived in time. His knights took a moment longer to respond, but they were racing after him a heartbeat later. Minutes passed before Marienburg Castle came into view on the other side of the river seperating Prussia and his knights from their capital now, and to his utter rage, he saw it surrounded by his non-Teutonic people, and there were some carrying the red banner with the white eagle -Poland's.
"We will not lose our capital," he growled with clenched jaws, reaching for his sword. But he didn't grab it yet. These were his people, minus the Poles among them as well, maybe he could reason with them. The war had only recently been declared and it wasn't going to last long. Maybe he could stop it right now, before things got out of hand. He stopped his horse for a moment, and the animal snorted loudly as it stopped running. The knights followed their country's example, silent as they waited for orders. "We'll try to do this peacefully, men," Prussia told them after a long, uncomfortable silence. "These are our people. Our kin." Then he moved forward, slower now, trying to look the least threatening he could. Closer to his capital's castle now, he could see the one things he'd expected already: there was no way for the Prussians and Poles to cross the river now and attack the city, but neither was there for him and his knights. He wanted to turn around and leave for another city instead, but with a jolt of fear he realised the army had seen him and the knights already, and they had to be quick as the wind if they wanted to get away now -there were only five of them against an army of the Prussian Confederation. He knew he had been right about one thing in his tirade to Brandenburg: he was a single knight with the strength of an army. But even he recognised a hopeless battle when he saw one.
"Retreat!" he commanded his people immediately. "Quickly, get away from here!" Sensing the danger, their horses turned and fled already before he'd even finished his command, running away in wild panic. Terror gripped his heart as he felt another strong jolt of pain in his chest, and he wondered how this siege would end and how long it would last before it ended. The last siege on Marienburg had hurt him so bad, he didn't want to go through anything like it ever again. And here he was, doing exactly that. He coudl hear the horses' hooves drumming on the ground as they ran, but he knew they wouldn't be fast enough. He'd already seen arrows fly past them and he knew the Prussian Confederation had crossbows. It was only a few seconds after they'd turned and fled that he heard a choked cry behind him, followed by the terrified whinnying of a horse and a dull thud on the ground.
"Sir!" one of his knights called to him. "They hit Albert!"
"I know," Prussia choked out, having trouble breathing. "God rest his noble soul, but we have to go on!"
But when the second knight was struck down seconds later, the young country commanded the remaining two to go to another castle as quick as they could -he would go back and make sure they could get away.
"Sir, you can't do that!" they both told him. "They-!"
"They cannot kill me," Prussia insisted. "You, however, are mortal! It's your lives that are at stake here, not mine. Now go!" The two knights looked dissatisfied with their country's decision to say the least, but they didn't dare to ignore his order. Prussia turned around then, quickly apologising to his horse for the painful death that probably awaited the animal. Prussia was already having trouble sitting straight: the siege was beginning to hurt real bad, or maybe it was just that he was out of breath. Either way, his chest felt like it was on fire.
Suddenly something grayish-brown flashed before him, and his horse stopped abruptly and reared in shock, throwing Prussia off its back before fleeing. Grunting in pain, Prussia sat up and stared up at what had blocked his way. Poland sat on a horse, standing between him and the people of the Prussian Confederation, a sword in his hand. Prussia expected the weapon to pierce his chest any second now, or hurt him so that Poland could take him captive again like he did the first time he'd lain siege on Marienburg. But instead of any of those things, Poland only looked at him with a burning green gaze. "Go!" he said quickly. "Prussia, go into the forest, they won't be able to track you down so easily there!"
Scrambling to his feet, Prussia could only stare at him, choking out random sounds. Poland was telling him to go? H-he was letting him go?
"Well?" the older country urged him on. "What are you waiting for? Run!" Green eyes locked with red for a split second, then Poland turned his horse a bit, with his side to Prussia. The young country immediately understood what he was doing: in the cover of the trees' shadows and partly hidden behind the large horse, Prussia could run with little chance of the Prussian Confederation spotting him. And in the meantime, Poland could pretend he was attacking Prussia by simply swinging his sword in his direction.
"Thank you," Prussia said hoarsely, turning around and running away. Glancing over his shoulder quickly before he'd lose sight of Poland, he saw the older country stare at him approvingly. He understood why Poland would do this: he had told Prussia that he didn't like to fight others, let alone killing them. But with the Prussian Confederation this hellbend on driving out the Teutonic Order, he might be forced to kill Prussia if the younger country was captured. They would probably never be friends, but Prussia figured he and Poland were both sick and tired of being each other's enemies.
But where should he go now? In the weeks that he had been away, traveling to Brandenburg, staying there for some time for the treaty then traveling back again, he knew the Teutonic Order must've lost settlements to the Prussians: he'd felt it happen.
Then, with a cold shiver going down his spine as he ran, he realised he wasn't even sure if it had been the Teutonic Order's losses. Who could guarantee that it hadn't been the Prussians'? The Teutonics and the Prussians were both his people now. How could either side of this conflict win the battle with him pulling through unharmed?
Wasn't that just impossible?
"God, please help me," he whispered in terror as he fled from his own people.
Civil wars and such always seem hardest to me for the countries. Their own people turning against each other... must be horrible.
Now this isn't exactly a civil war, but it's still his two peoples fighting each other, so it must be pretty damn painfull, confusing and scary for him...
And can I just say it was about time Prussia got a hug from someone? We all know Holy Rome is a dear to him (and since the last chapter, we all know why as well) but others can sometimes (read: most of the time) still be assholes to him... *cough* like he is to them *cough*... and I figured he could do with a friendly gesture from someone else than big bro for a change. So have a friendlier-than-usual Brandenburg.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it!
(Also, this is my last week in school before christmas holidays, so maybe then I'll update more than once a week? We'll see...)
