There was a time when it was so simple. But that was so long ago. Going back is impossible. Those times are about as real as miracles now. I don't remember what that time was like. They beat it out of me. I see faces and names, but they are hidden by a thick fog of fear and forced resentment. Natural instincts to us are to reject pain, so by mixing something with the thought of pain, making anyone believe absolutely anything is far too easy. Too sickeningly easy. I have tried to return it back to normal. I can't.

Fear can make someone do anything, can make someone believe and reject anything at all. They used it to make me forget. They used it to drill their ideas into me head. If I knew what ideas they were, believe me, I would destroy them. But you can't hit something when you have no idea what you're aiming for.

Eventually, the will to find it and destroy it faded, just like the screams I used to hear in my head. I used to dream of angels of dandelions before. Now I just plot... I don't even know why. I see the destruction is causes, but I just can't bring myself to do a thing about it. It's like watching an atomic bomb explode on TV. You don't like it, but you just can't do anything about it. That has become my life. I exist, but inside I'm dead. I've become a puppet, saying and doing things are never truly me.

There are the rare moments when my head is clear and I can make sense of things and not just act like a puppet. I wish those moments would last forever, but they only ever last a moment. I know why people would hate being trapped in between heaven and hell. There is no resolution, just a never ending void.

This is my life. I can't reach out for help. I can't help myself. It hurts, but not a sharp, burning pain. It hurts like a ache that makes you forever numb to all else. It hurts. It hurts.


The scream jolted all the girls out of their bored stances. Anna jumped up first and ran up the stairs, jumping three at a time. She ran into the kitchen and found the scene exactly like she knew it would be. Sarah was on the floor screaming in pain, with tears running down her face and a knife lodged a few inches above her heart. Perfect. ASC rushed over to her as the others, Helena and Amunet arrived.

Helena was the first to begin moving again. "Lili, where's the first aid kit?"

"I-in the bathroom upstairs," she said shakily.

"I'll go get it," Amunet said, racing up the stairs.

Anna jumped up and threw herself at Natalya. "YOU BITCH! YOU TRIED TO KILL HER! YOU TRIED TO KILL HER!"

"No! I didn't!" Natalya said, narrowly avoiding being cut by Anna's nails.

"You were the only other person in this room! WHAT ELSE COULD HAVE FUCKING HAPPENED?"

"Bella, Elizaveta, restrain Anna. Katyusha, take your sister to the living room and don't let anyone leave," Helena said, trying to keep the catastrophe under control.

The Elizaveta and Bella did as told, casting wary glances at Natalya. Katyusha led her sister to the living room, looking as if she had no idea what to believe.

Sarah had stopped screaming but was now sobbing and crying. Ally and Cammy were next to her, offering what little help they could. Amunet rushed into the kitchen with the first aid kit. As gently as she could, she removed the knife and she and Helena began trying to stop the bleeding.

"I'll call 911," Chelle said, pulling out her cellphone.

Sarah sobbed out a few sentences, trying to explain what had supposedly happened to her. "All I did was ask if her brother was psychotic. Then sh-she stabbed me!"

Lili was standing in the middle of the kitchen, no idea what to do. Natalya wouldn't do something like that. She said she was over her brother, but... what else could have happened? So confused, Lili fell on her knees and just watched the scene play out in horror.

Not far away, Anna was slumped over in a corner, surrounded by Elizaveta and Bella while she 'calmed down.' She stole a glance at Lili. She didn't move, but her eyes shone with sick happiness. Game over. I win.

Natalya looked at Lili as well. Tears welled up in her eyes, begging her to cry over her. Right now, nothing seemed easier than crying. But she didn't cry. Tears won't help me... but now Lili hates me... For a moment, she wished she was alone, just so she could cry her heart out and not care like a child. She wanted to lock herself in her room and just scream until she couldn't anymore. She wanted to, but right now Natalya couldn't. She couldn't even comfort Lili. That one fact stung the most. She could do nothing to help herself, and she couldn't even help anyone around her.


The ambulance arrived and took Sarah away, with Anna following in her car. Helena gathered the girls in Lili's living room. By now, Vash, brothers of the girls there, and a few parents had arrived after seeing the ambulance.

"Since we don't know what happened, and as far as we've heard Sarah's parents aren't pressing charges, Natalya will not be punished. For now, girls, pack your things and go home," she said flatly.

"See ya Monday," Amunet said, trying to lighten the mood as the two left.

Little by little, everyone did leave, except Natalya and Katyusha who were finishing packing. Vash watched Natalya carefully, wary of her every move. Lili held the door open as the two left. Katyusha walked out first and headed to her car. Natalya stopped at the door and looked at Lili sadly. Natalya wanted to say she was sorry, even though she didn't know what for. She wanted to do something that would make this better, but she had no idea what. Instead, she simply looked at Lili and said simply, "Sorry... Goodbye."

"Goodbye," Lili said. Natalya looked at the ground, nodded, and walked out the door. Lili closed the door and looked at her brother. "I'm going to my room now. I'll clean up the kitchen and the basement tomorrow."

"I'll do it for you. Just get some sleep," Vash said. Lili nodded and walked up the stairs.

Walking into her room, she saw the scrapbook. She kicked it under her bed in sadness and anger. She fell onto her bed and buried her face in the pillows. Eventually, she fell into a fitful sleep.


The next morning, Katyusha walked over to Natalya house to check up on her. She stepped inside the house and noted that the heat was turned off. Why would the heat be off? It's too cold in the morning to leave it like that. She looked around the living room and found it devoid of any signs of life. A few photographs were gone from the the living room and the kitchen was empty except a few things in the fridge.

Then Katyusha walked upstairs to Natalya's room. The bed was bare except for a sheet and dull pillows, Natalya's cell phone wasn't there, and neither was the charger. Katyusha scanned the room as best she could. The laptop, its charger, most of Natalya's winter and fall clothes were missing as well. Looking at the bedside table, Katyusha saw a small letter. She picked it up, and, assuming the worst, mentally begged that it wasn't some sort of suicide note. In dark blue ink, it read:

Dear Katyusha (as I'm sure you'll be the first one to find this letter),

Do not panic. I'm perfectly fine. I'm heading to our parent's house back in Russia for a while. I need to think some things through and get away from everyone for a while.

I didn't stab Sarah. Please believe me on that, dear sister...

I won't miss anything at school; I'll be going to school there for a while. I'll come back for Christmas, but I don't know yet if I'll be staying or not after that. Goodbye for now. Please tell the others I said goodbye to them as well. See you around Christmas, Katyusha.

With hope,

Natalya Braginski


Lili, unaware of Katyusha frantically calling and texting the news to the others, had bundled up and headed outside. Numb, not out of cold but heartache that she couldn't understand, she headed to the one place she knew she could be alone. She walked through the bushes and into the old playground. Lili sat down in the swing and slowly looked at the other next to her. A bouquet of dead roses lay there, without a card tied to it or anything. Without knowing exactly why, Lili finally broke down and cried her heart out.


On a plane, far away, Natalya stared out the window. For the most part, she was alone, and the few passengers that were on the plane as well were asleep. She couldn't scream or sob without waking someone up, but for now she allowed silent tears to fall like rain.


So, how'd you like part 2? Real angsty huh? Meh.

A look into Anna's mind. I wonder if it helped or hurt your understanding of her. Meh. Don't worry, there will be answers to all of your questions eventually. :3

Reviews are love~