This is it. This is the end. It's a little sad. I kind of like this story with all it's grammatical flaws. I am now handing over the last chapter and I may weep a little. This is goodbye for now. Goodbye to my Castiel Novak. I hope everything will work out for him.
Castiel is slowly getting used to being a human. Dean has finally let down his guard but little things still makes Cas nervous. Kevin worries about him and Sam worries about Crowley and the fallen angels. Love and pie and fluff and a little bit of smut.
Sam adjusted the seat a little while he was waiting for Kevin to get in the car. Leaving Dean and Castiel alone in the bunker made him slightly uncomfortable. He didn't know what he was more disturbed about. The thought of them cuddled up doing... things... or the fact that he knew his brother well enough to worry about him screwing up the relationship once more.
It was obvious that Kevin shared his thoughts but unlike Sam the boy ranted on about it as soon as his butt was in the passenger seat. "You sure they'll be okay? That Cas will be okay?" He gave Sam a quick peek.. "Sorry, but I don't trust your brother. I wouldn't put it past him to push Cas away again."
Sam had no urge to comment on that and it didn't seem like Kevin expected him too either. "I mean... Dean is such an idiot. Sorry." He shrugged a little. "I know he's your brother and all but you have to admit...Hey, where are we going?" He looked at Sam as they drove through the little town. "Aren't we just getting supplies? There was a store."
Sam chuckled humorlessly. "We're trying to keep a low profile. This town is too small. We'll get questions." He kept going and turned to Kevin giving him a smile. "And anyway... I want to postpone going back."
A burst of laughter from his passenger made Sam look at him with a frown. "Not funny." He shook his head and sighed. "Let them talk it out. Let them find out where they're going from here. I think they need time."
Kevin huffed and shifted a little in his seat. "Maybe Dean needs time. Castiel has no doubts about this." He cleared his throat. "And you know what? I don't think you're being honest either. You're afraid to walk in on them doing..." Sam lifted his hand to stop Kevin. He didn't want to hear it.
"Maybe so, but can we please change the subject? I admit it... it's a little uncomfortable but I... I'm trying here." He sighed. "Honestly, I think I can handle this given time. I'm the one who needs time."
In the bunker Castiel was walking back and forth in Dean's room – their room. Dean had asked him to get out of the soiled clothes and then he'd disappeared. Castiel undressed and without anything else to put on he paced around naked. Dean had now been gone for more than fifteen minutes and Cas started to worry. It was a little chilly so he wrapped himself in the blanket and sat down on the bed.
"This is taking too long," he thought as he stared at the door. He wondered if Dean had chickened out again and felt tears piling up in his eyes. Maybe Dean expected him to take a shower by himself? If so, it was very disappointing. A tear ran down his cheek and Cas lifted his hand to wipe it away. He had just started to believe that things had changed but now the knot in his gut came back again.
Castiel lied down on the bed and cried silently into the pillow. "How can he do this to me? He promised," he whispered to himself as the pillow got soaked in tears. He startled a little when he heard the door open and he did his best to compose himself.
The sound of footsteps coming towards him made him tense up a bit. Dean would come over and tell him that it was over – again. Instead of saying anything Dean sat down on the edge of the bed and stroke Cas' hair. He leaned over and forced Cas to turn his head. The soft smile that Cas could see a glimpse of faded instantly. "Cas, you're crying. Why are you crying?" Dean's hand moved to Castiel's cheek and with his thumb he wiped a lingering tear away.
Castiel sniffled a little and dug his face back into the pillow. "Are you coming to tell me that... that it's over. That you can't..." He wasn't sure if Dean could hear him through the sobs and the fact that the words was muffled by the pillow.
A painstaking few second of silence followed before Dean pushed him over on his back and looked at him startled. "No, Cas. How can you think that? Oh..." He covered his face with his hands. "I understand. I've been such a jerk. But NO! I came to get you." He leaned over and kissed another lingering tear away. "If you'd known exactly what I want to do with you right now it would scare the hell out of you, but for other reasons than you think."
Dean's hand disappeared under the blanket and a finger ran down Castiel's chest. "I want to..." He sighed and covered his face with the other hand again. "Oh Cas, I can't even say it." He chuckled a little nervously and Cas closed his eyes. "I think I know and I'm not scared." Under the blanket he grabbed Dean's hand and laced their fingers together. "It's just a matter of taking it slow."
Kevin jumped out of the car and ran to the entrance of the store. He was sure that this was how it felt like to get out of jail. The moment he got out of the houseboat was nothing compared to this. Back then he'd been scared out of his mind and didn't feel completely free. Looking around at the other shoppers Kevin felt invigorated and happy.
His only concern at the moment was how Castiel was doing. Kevin tried not to think about it as he waited patiently for Sam to catch up with him. The fallen angels, and the fact that they could be out looking for revenge, didn't bother him one bit.
Sam seemed a little more tentative. He scanned the parking-lot before he grabbed a cart and hurried towards the sliding doors. "Okay, let's get it over with." He sounded a little distressed and Kevin patted his shoulder. "Don't worry. What happens happens. I'm sure fate is on our side."
Sam frowned a little and threw a quick peek over his shoulder. "Hope you're right. It's just..." He sighed. "I'm thinking about Crowley. We left him hanging. He could be searching for us." He shrugged and walked fast into the store to sort of hide between the shelves.
Kevin ran after him and gave him a frown. "You had to remind me about him, didn't you?" Kevin scrunched his face. "I told myself not to worry about him, but of course..." He sighed and continued. "How about this? We pretend that we are... like... normal people shopping for our family. No care in the world?" He tilted his head and gave Sam a crooked smile. Sam huffed and turned away but then he lowered his shoulders and sighed. "We can do that. We can try that."
Sam pulled Dean's list out of his pocket and read through it quickly. "Okay, lets go. Where's the beverage aisle?" The fact that he asked was obviously for show. Sam walked straight towards it as if he'd know all along. "Yeah, I've been here before." He explained as he started to pick a variety of beers off the shelf and put it in the cart. "Why don't you go to the dairy aisle. It's right there." He pointed and gave Kevin the list.
They spent almost an hour in the store and Kevin suspected that Sam was procrastinating on purpose. He didn't mention it. He enjoyed himself and didn't care.
Dean threw the blanket aside and pulled Castiel out of bed. He had to hitch his breath when he looked at the naked body in front of him. It was impossible to get a word out. Dean knew that his voice wouldn't work. Instead he just grabbed Cas' hand and walked towards the door. What Castiel had said in there under the covers had made him blush and he wondered if the guy really knew what he was talking about.
At the bathroom door he paused and turned around. "I... It's a little... I wanted to make it special." He opened the door and could feel the blood rush to his face again.
All surfaces in the little room was covered with lit candles. As Dean panned the room he knew he'd overdone it, but now it was too late to regret. Castiel stopped short on the threshold. "Oh Dean. Did you do this? It's... It's beautiful."
Dean bent his head down in embarrassment. This was so out of character for him that he for a second wondered if he'd taken on a new personality. Still in lack of words he just pulled Castiel inside and closed the door before he reached into the shower and turned the water on.
Castiel's eyes were shining in the flickering light from the candles and when his tongue darted out to lick his lips Dean was unable to cover up a moan. "Come." he practically quacked out gesturing for Cas to enter the shower. With his back towards him Dean hurried to undress. He opened the door slightly and threw his clothes out in the hall before he joined Cas under the streaming water.
He closed his eyes and reached for the shower gel mostly to have something to occupy his mind with. Dean startled when Castiel picked the bottle out of his hand. "Let me." He opened his eyes as Cas squirted some gel into his hand and put the bottle back. With their eyes locked together, Cas' hand came up to Dean's chest. "I can do this."
The guy was thorough. The gentle rubbing of his upper body almost made Dean breathless. Every time he thought Cas' hands would continue down to the ignored lower parts they moved up again making Dean squirm. He wanted to grab Cas' hand and force it downwards but braced himself and closed his eyes.
Eventually he felt a hand on his thigh. His cock – that was already rock hard – twitched in anticipation. Cas went down on one knee and rubbed soap down the length of Dean's left leg avoiding the crotch area. After playing a little with the toes Cas' hands moved over to the other leg.
Dean was not able to think very clearly but one thought kept popping up in his mind. Where did Cas get this from? Did he even know how his actions made Dean feel? Suddenly and without warning Cas grabbed his balls and caressed them gently. His other hand crawled up the back of Dean's thigh and ended up on his butt-cheek.
Dean's knees went weak and he tried to find something to hold on to. With one hand on the wall and the other tangled into Cas' hair he barely managed to stand on his feet. For a moment he thought he'd cum without even a touch to his cock – witch hadn't happened since he was in his early teens – but he clenched his teeth fighting it.
Castiel's hand moved in between the crack of Dean's butt and Dean could feel a finger on the puckered hole back there. It was impossible not to whimper. He tugged on Castiel's hair but nothing seemed to throw the guy off his task.
Dean's defenses was about to crumble when he felt Castiel's lips around the head of his cock. He pulled back quickly and leaned on the wall while Castiel's face got covered in cum. The now lukewarm water washed it away quickly as Dean sank down to his knees breathing heavily. Cas' hands came up to his cheeks and forced Dean's head up. Their eyes met and he could have sworn that, for a split second, he saw a smirk on the face in front of him.
It took a few moments before Dean had got his breathing under control. He was utterly confused by the skill and the boldness of what Castiel had just done. Those blue eyes were still fixed on his and all remnants of confidence was now completely gone. Castiel looked scared and vulnerable. Dean realized that his own face was scrunched up in a frown and could easily understand it if Cas got intimidated by it.
He relaxed and smiled. "Cas, don't worry. You... I don't know what to say. That was totally unexpected and... and... I love you." They practically fell into each others arms and then they just sat like that until the water became to cold for comfort.
The first thing Sam did when he entered the bunker was to shout. "DEAN, CAS! WE'RE BACK." He didn't want to walk in on them and figured it was better to alert them at once. Turned out it wasn't necessary. Dean was in the kitchen grabbing a drink and Castiel came down the hall busy drying his hair with a towel. "Good, so now we can get something to eat." Cas threw the towel over the back of a chair before he approached Sam to help him with the bags.
Kevin came up right behind him and together they carried everything into the kitchen. Dean came over and started sorting through the bags. "Did you buy the whole store?" He chuckled as he pulled out a few items and put them in the fridge. "And enough beer?"
It was impossible not to notice that Dean's hair was slightly damp too. Sam gave it a thought and realized that he didn't care anymore. If the two of them had been in the shower together it was okay. "I'm taking a leak. And I'm extremely hungry." As he walked away Dean shouted "NO!" Before he almost stumbled in his own feet trying to cut in front of Sam. Then he let his hands fall down. "Oh, fuck it, just go."
As soon as Sam entered the bathroom he could understand why Dean got a little upset. The room was covered with candles. Some of them still lit. Sam extinguished them before he peed and had to chuckle a little as he joined the others. "What happened in there? Did you have a vigil or something?" Dean blushed but didn't answer.
Kevin practically jumped forward. "What? Where? In the bathroom." He took off down the hall and Sam could see Dean roll his eyes. He turned to Cas and sighed. "We're never gonna hear the end of this, you know." A quick smile grazed his lips before he continued to put the food away. Cas stepped over to him and put a hand on his back. "You, Dean. You are not gonna hear the end of this. Me I'm... I didn't do it."
Sam watched as Dean lifted his hand and pushed a stray lock of hair away from Cas' forehead. "You did plenty, but yeah. It's me they're gonna tease." He leaned over and while Sam could feel his own eyes grow wider Dean planted a kiss on Cas' lips. Without turning away from his angel Dean lifted his hand and pointed a finger towards Sam. "And you! Just have to deal with this."
Sam didn't get a chance to react before Kevin seconds later came back practically hunched over from laughing. "Oh, so romantic," he managed to hitch out. "Should we worry about you guys setting this place on fire one day?" He stopped short when he saw Cas and Dean in an embrace in the kitchen. His gaze shifted from the two of them and over to Sam. He wasn't laughing anymore but he had a hard time covering up a smile.
"This..." Sam walked towards the couch and shrugged a little. "I think this means that you don't have to share a room anymore, Kevin." He sat down and had to chuckle a little to himself. It was okay. Everything was okay. Suddenly he jumped up from the couch and ran towards the stair. "We forgot something in the car."
Sam felt kind of invigorated by the fact that Cas and Dean's relationship didn't bother him anymore. It was still a little awkward but seeing how Dean dealt with it at the moment it was much easier to handle. Dean's reluctance to take a stand and give in to his love and emotions had rubbed off on Sam making him nervous and edgy. Now it looked like everything could work out nicely. He carried the pie inside and earned a cheer form the kitchen.
It was dark in the room. The little stream of light from the hall didn't provide much visibility. Cas was lying on the bed staring into the ceiling. He couldn't help smiling. The evening had been wonderful. After an excellent meal – which he had participated in making – they had pie and coffee. Later he and Dean had been cuddled up on the couch while Kevin and Sam was busy playing games on the computer.
Kevin was the first one to turn in and shortly after Cas decided to follow his example. When he got up from the couch Dean had pulled him back and kissed him. "I'll be there soon," he'd whispered before he got up and walked over to Sam.
Castiel figured that Dean and Sam needed a little talk after everything that had happened the last few days. It was obvious that Sam hadn't been too comfortable with this love-affair. Today had been different and Sam seemed to have come to terms with it all.
He could hear somebody walking down the hall and into the bathroom. Shortly after Dean was standing in the doorway. Cas couldn't see his face because of the light from the hall. It took a little while before he approached. There was a little pinch of pain in Cas' stomach but then Dean came in and closed the door.
Cas reached over to the nightstand and turned on the lamp. Dean was undressing and startled a little when the light came on. He still continued but it was with painstakingly slow movements. Then he folded his clothes nicely and put them on the chair. For a moment he paused before he turned and hurried under the blanket with Castiel.
They kissed and clung to each other like as if they had been parted for a long time. Dean pulled back a little and stroke Cas' cheek. "I want you so much but I..." In the dim light Cas could still see that he was blushing. He chuckled a little. "You know what to do." He stated firmly. "Just take it slow." Cas could almost hear Eric's voice in his head. The guy had been very helpful and Cas sent him good thoughts. What happened in the shower was a re-enactment of how Eric had eventually seduced Ronny.
Suddenly Cas remembered the little gift he got from the guy and untangled himself from Dean. "I'll be right back. Where's my jacket." When Dean pointed Cas could see it hanging under Dean's on the hook by the door. He sifted through the pockets and found the little bottle.
Back inn bed he handed it to Dean and smiled shyly. "Eric gave me this and told me to use it generously." Dean looked at it curiously at first but then he hitched his breath and peeked back at Cas. "Are you sure?" He looked a little nervous and Cas moved closer. He touched Dean's lips with his and whispered: "I'm sure. Just be gentle."
