Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages (I'm impressed to learn you had to get married in green, Resi!)

Chapter Twelve:

Maura closed her eyes. A soft breeze caressed her nape lovingly and matched the delicate back and forth movement of her feet whenver they brushed the grass. She had wanted to sit on the swing seat since the first time she had seen it but her schedule had been too tight until now. Relatives, wedding preparations, more relatives: she hadn't had a minute for herself.

"I loved the swing seat as a child." Timid steps led Jane to Maura. Her hands in her back, she gave her friend a smile as Maura opened her eyes back. "I thought it'd make me fly."

"Is this the reason of the scar on your chin?" Nobody could see it but Maura. Her medical examiner skills made it hard for her to miss it even if it was subtle and had now almost disappeared. "I've always wondered where it came from."

Jane sat next to her friend as soon as Maura stopped the swing seat with her feet. She stared at an invisible point in the distance then shook her head. Invisible wrinkles appeared at the corner of her lips the moment she smiled.

"Oh no. That happened in Boston, just another skateboard session that went wrong." Jane opened her fist. She was holding a small bag of sugared almonds. "Do you want some?"

Maura laughed. They had spent the last hour and a half packing the sweet treats every guest would receive as a present. Some would also serve as decoration at church. The activity would have been monotone if it weren't for Lorena, Roberta and Angela chatting loudly in the living-room. Nonna had helped them too but in silence.

"Oh, what have you done? Roberta is going to kill you if she learns you've stolen one of the bags!" Yet Maura gladly accepted an almond. It was crunchy, sweet. "Someone won't have a bag because of you, Jane."

Jane shrugged. She was in a good mood: the sky was blue and her relatives had finally decided to give her and Maura a break. Perhaps the dance both friends had shared the evening before had something to do with it. Jane hadn't said anything but she had noticed the way people had looked at them and it was louder than a thousand words in the end.

"How did it go with Gina?"

The conversation was basic but Jane didn't feel at ease. She wasn't home and even if nobody else was currently in the backyard, she felt the urge to put a distance between her and Maura. Just in case.

"Fine. She's a nice girl and we've found the perfect nail varnish for tonight's dinner." Maura picked up another almond from Jane's hand except this time she let her fingers slide on friend's skin a bit longer. Discreetly. "She's so young to get married though."

A dog barked in the distance.

"Thank you." Jane's whisper floated in the air for a while. She bowed her head and frowned before the difficulty she had to express what she now felt. "Thank you for being here."

Maura watched the almonds fall on the grass, their whiteness contrasting sharply with the green soil. Jane had accidentally let go of them. They landed there quietly, lightly.

"There's no reason to thank me. You know that I'm glad to be here."

Maura bent over and began to pick up the almonds. Jane immediately joined. In a loud silence, her hand brushed Maura's. The unexpected gesture caused her to drop the almonds again.

"Damn."

But as Maura went to pick them up anew, Jane grabbed her hand to hold it tightly. The gesture wasn't accidental, this time. The determination that made Jane's dark eyes glimmer highlighted an obvious desire. Maura sat up and looked at her friend. She felt confused and slightly dizzy for she didn't understand what was really happening.

Jane looked into her friend's eyes as if she hoped to read her soul. Then and with the delicacy of uncertainty, she leaned over and brushed the corner of her friend's mouth with her lips. She barely felt the touch, actually. Her heart was beating too loud for her to focus on anything.

"Jane!" Lorena walked out the back door and waved from the porch. "Your brothers and your nephew have arrived!"

Everything vanished within a second, from the confusion over Jane's gesture to the silence that had wrapped it up. Maura stood up first and quietly walked towards the house. Jane followed her after having picked up the sugared almonds.

The loudness of the house was exactly what Maura needed. It was the best excuse that she would ever have to mentally run away from the kiss Jane had planted at the corner of her lips. She still could feel it though. The touch burned, lovingly.

"Lydia!" She welcomed the young woman with open arms then hugged Frankie and Tommy. It was good to have another piece of Boston here. "How was your flight?"

TJ was already running around the house, trying to escape Lorena and her Italian pastries. Of course, she would try to feed him. It was the way she pretty much welcomed anyone to Staten Island. Maura hadn't forgotten about it.

"It went well, thank you."

Lydia looked intimidated by the group of women that had suddenly surrounded her. Maura felt empathy for her: Tommy's girlfriend was the only official significant other that the Bostonian side of the family had brought to the wedding. Yet they were not married.

"When do the two of you get married? You can't live as sinners all your life. You have a child, now!"

Maura held back a laugh. It had taken five minutes to Roberta to allude to a potential wedding. Angela's grandchildren and wedding obsessions were nothing compared to her sister's. As a matter of fact, she had remained quiet over it since she had arrived to Staten Island. Maura wondered if it weren't because of her divorce. She had noticed how nobody else had put an end to a marriage in Jane's family. It was probably badly seen.

"One thing at a time, aunt Roberta." Tommy winked at his aunt and took her by the shoulders. He seemed really at ease in the house. "Gina first!"

"Of course, Gina first!" Roberta pointed the suitcases. "Frankie, you'll stay at Lorena's. Lydia and Tommy, you're at Fabio's. Go unpack... Jane, help your brothers! Maura, come over here. We're going to make some coffee."

...

Jane leaned against the door frame. She sank her hands in the pockets of her jeans and glanced at the room without saying a word. She still felt confused, and scared.

"Is everything okay?" Frankie laughed nervously. He had just dropped his travel bag on the floor of this bedroom and was now looking at Jane with an expression of uncertainty. "You look weird."

Jane scoffed but her reaction only managed to betray a latent nervousness. The kiss she had given Maura haunted her in a way she wouldn't have thought to be possible. She was confused but not ashamed though. All she could think about were Isabella's words, the ones she had shared with her at the pre-rehearsal dinner the night before.

It isn't easy but it's worth it.

Isabella was wrong, Jane knew it. Her family had taken their distance with her when she had told them that she lived with a woman but at least she had always known that Carmen was into her. Jane was not in the same situation.

She swallowed hard as the realization that she wanted something more with Maura hit her mind. It had been there for a long time but she had refused to see it, to accept it. Except she had now lost the battle with her mind. Maura wasn't just her friend and would never be.

"How do you think I should look after four full days here? We're stuck on a freakin' island with the family."

Jane tried to ignore how shaky her voice had been when she had said 'we' and rushed to hide behind a curtain of jokes. It was easier, and safer too.

"Oh, c'mon... They're not that bad. Why do you always have to exaggerate?" Frankie walked to the bathroom to wash his hands. "They're loud but they're funny. At least we have a family spirit. Everyone doesn't have this chance, you know."

A few seconds passed by during which Jane focused on the pace of her heartbeats. She had had this conversation many times in the past but her brothers would never understand what she meant, how it felt like to be a woman in this family. Frankie and Tommy had privileges that she wouldn't reach, not even in her wildest dreams.

And they were unaware of it.

It showed less in Boston because Jane had built the life she wanted there and because her own parents had been less archaic than her uncles and aunts but the difference of sexes really dragged her down whenever she came back to Staten Island. This wasn't her. This wasn't how she saw life.

"You're good?" Turning the page and pretending that nothing had happened was still the best solution that came to mind. Jane walked to the door once her brother nodded. "Then let's go or by the time we make it back to Roberta's, the kitchen'll have disappeared under a thousand Italian dishes!"

Frankie laughed patted his stomach.

"Won't be a problem. I'm quite hungry, actually."

Jane rolled her eyes. There lay another unfairness: she and Frankie had been chubby children but the remarks about the importance of a healthy weight had only been directed at her. Frankie was a boy, he was allowed to weigh more than the average kid of his age.

Jane was not.