A/N: Thanks everyone for the lovely feedback... sorry for the cliffie spacemonkey (sarah this is all your fault you know) feb04 and aleisha but not that sorry hee hee and no I am not evil its the cat blame him. Well thanks again for the wonderful feedback I hope you enjoy the next part and I have more coming this is coming to a head so hold on.

Rumors of my Death
pt 12


He shot me.

Daniel shot me and was about to kill me if the Colonel hadn't interceded.

I felt sick. When he raised the zat and fired the first time my body felt like it was on fire. I felt pain and then nothing.

I never want to feel that again.

Tears started to fall again.

I'd never done so much crying in one day.

Well, that's not true I chide myself.

When I couldn't find a way to help Daniel after the radiation exposure, I had cried. Not in front of the others but in my office alone and once when I was checking his vitals. I broke down and was comforted by the same man that had just shot me.

I closed my eyes to remember his words.

"It's okay, Janet, I know you did everything you could."

I took his hand and carefully brought it to my lips and kissed it. Apologizing over and over again wishing there was something else I could do to stop it from happening.

He smiled then slipped into his coma never waking again until he left us in a flash of light.

When he came back without any knowledge of who he was or where he had been I was somewhat relieved. I had shown him a moment of weakness. He had comforted me when I was there to comfort him. I remember him squeezing my hand and repeating it wasn't my fault. I cried as if I was losing a part of me. I didn't want him to feel obligated to me.

He never spoke of that day and I kept it hidden in my mind.

We became friends again. I was happy he was back with us, as was Cassie. He was hesitant at first but within an hour they were themselves again, laughing and telling stories in French.

I miss those days. I miss my family who all believe I am an imposter.

How could this happen?

How could they not believe me?

This was wrong; something or someone was making them believe I wasn't me.

Seeing Daniel's expression when he came through the door pained me.

He stumbled back almost afraid of me.

He was speechless.

He closed his eyes but I could see the tears falling from his face.

I needed to reach out to him, to make him believe it was me and to seek his help in stopping this nightmare.

I called out to him to help me.

He listened and then moved closer. I asked him where Cassie was, he would not let any harm come to her, he was the only one I could depend on since the others thought I wasn't me.

I tried to reach for him but he stopped. He was staring at something on the bed. I looked down and shook my head.

That damn tape.

He picked up the camera and turned away.

No, I wouldn't lose him too.

I blurted out that the tape was a lie, that I was Janet Fraiser.

He turned to me and screamed that I was a liar; that I had died on a planet saving the life of a man whose child now carried my name in memory of me. He called me a fraud and said that I would tell him the truth or else.

He pulled out a zat from his jacket and I gasped.

"This is not happening" kept repeating in my mind.

I tried not to show fear but it was hard. I started to slowly and calmly speak to him. I wanted to tell him what had happened that day. He listened but as I watched I knew it was a lost cause, he didn't believe me.

He came close, put the camera down and with anger, fired the zat.

The pain was unbearable as I finally let go of consciousness and allowed the darkness to claim me.

I awoke staring at Daniel with the zat pointed at me again.

I was scared.

The next shot would be fatal and all my ramblings of who I was would be over.

I heard them banging on the door. They were my only chance to live.

Or would they let him finish me off? Maybe they wanted to get rid of me since no one believed I was me.

I didn't care anymore.

A peace came over me. If this was going to be my last minute on earth I wanted him to know that I did not hold him accountable for what he was about to do. When the tests came back and proved I was telling the truth the guilt would overcome him. I didn't want him to carry that cross.

I spoke and when I was done he yelled at me to stop my lying.

The door opened and Colonel O'Neill ran in followed by the rest of my family.

I heard Cassie's voice; she's pleading with Daniel to stop and not hurt me.

They were all pleading with him to drop the zat.

My heart leapt. Maybe the results are in and they know it's me.

I heard the colonel say they need me alive.

Daniel raises the zat and arms it. They're too late. He is far beyond reason; I close my eyes not wanting my last image to be Daniel killing me.

I pray silently, that they will live through this; that when the results come back they will not blame each other for not believing me.

I heard the zat discharge and waited for my death.

It doesn't come. I opened my eyes and Daniel is on the floor.

The Colonel is holding a zat. He saved me.

I release a trembling breath and start to shake.

This last confrontation was taking its toll on me.

I looked at the Colonel then back to Daniel and whisper if he is okay.

I heard my name called out.

Oh, God, Cassie.

I yelled out to her, wanting only to hold her and to comfort her. She's been through enough and I had come to the end of my rope.

The colonel ordered Teal'c to take her away. I struggled with my restraints; they can't take her. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be alright.

My heart was breaking as I heard her yell out to me.

The colonel comes closer and I let him have it. I am tired of this game.

My eyes closed after my tirade. My baby was pleading with them to let her see me.

She believes me.

My Cassie is the only one that knows the truth, the only one who believes that I am not an imposter.

He waited until Cassie was dragged away by Teal'c and the doctor to let me feel the full force of Jack O'Neill's fury.

He asked if I was happy with the whole situation. He called me a liar for pretending to be someone I wasn't. Then he said that he had saved me to get to the people I was working for and that was the only reason he'd kept me alive.

Hearing all these hateful words made me really look at him. He was struggling. I could see the doubt in his eyes. He had questions but he refused to believe what was in front of him.

He asked me if it was clear to me. I nodded and turned away. I needed to get through to him but how?

Daniel was waking and Sam was trying to stop him from getting up. He yelled at the colonel and asked him why he'd shot him.

The colonel defended his actions. Daniel just kept saying that I had caused them enough pain and I was only there to dredge up old feelings that were finally beginning to heal.

Two airmen took him out of the room as he pleaded with the colonel to let him to speak to me.

They left quickly and then only Sam and the colonel remained.

His back was facing me and Sam was still on the floor.

She looked defeated.

This was a Sam that I rarely saw. She only showed this when she thought she had failed or could not solve a problem.

She looked so fragile with tears streaming down her face. The colonel extended his hand out but she hesitated.

I'm surprised; she looks almost afraid of him.

Finally, she takes his hand and whispers her thanks. Something is wrong between them, this is not the Sam and Colonel I knew. They were always in sync but that gesture spoke volumes. She is afraid and he is hostile. What is wrong with this picture?

She's staring at me and I turn away. I am tired of the ranting and accusations. She doesn't believe me.

The real Sam would have been by my side when I woke. We were close we had this unspoken bond to always be there for one another. Whenever she or anyone on SG1 was injured I would watch over them. It was my responsibility as a doctor but also as a friend no more then a friend a sister to each and every one of them. They are my family or where. This was to hard to handle and I didn't think I could take anymore.

I look up as she gasped. The colonel had grabbed her arm and was whispering for her to walk out with him. She asked to speak to me.

He was adamant and telling her no then she did something that surprised me. She begged him to speak to me.

He hesitated, he could never say no to her. They had a bond that was stronger than anything I had ever witnessed; something that could not be described. I watched him raise his hand to wipe away her tears. He could be so caring one minute and a cold deadly threat the next.

She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. I just stared wondering why they did not just give in to what was bigger then both of them.

This love they shared was one of a kind. Something that should be cherished not avoided. But the military had other ideas as did life. This love had overcome much but would this love last?

I turned away not wanting to witness any more of this, I felt like an intruder.

I'd had enough. I didn't want to talk to her I just wanted them to leave me alone. I prayed the results would be completed soon and they would release me so that I could finally get some answers.

He whispered he'd be right behind her and I stared at her as she walked slowly up to me.

She seemed afraid of me. I wanted to yell at her that it was me but I held my tongue. It would not help if I were hostile.

She just stared at me, not saying a word and I could see that she was analyzing me.

My patience was thin and I snapped. I bit my lip, I would not cry. I took a deep breath and said there was no point in asking if she believed me that I had tried with the colonel, Teal'c and Daniel so why even try to convince her?

I lost the battle with my tears. They were back with a vengeance and I was angry with myself for letting it happen. I had no way of batting them away.

Sam grabbed a tissue and began to wipe the tears from my face.

I tried to break the ice with her by making light of me being restrained. She didn't smile and I knew this was a waste of time. I told her I was disappointed in her and that I thought she, as my friend she would have been here for me - her best friend.

She stepped back after my attack.

But I didn't lose eye contact; she straightened her shoulders and spoke.

She said I was right that she would have been here for her best friend she repeated it for full effect and said that I had died eight months ago. She asked if I expected to be greeted with open arms when I just showed up at her home? She called me a liar and said if it were up to her she would have let Daniel finish what he started.

She hurt me with that statement.

She turned around and the colonel followed her out.

I started to recount things only Sam and I knew.

I spoke of her love of peppermint tea because it reminded her of her mother and her dislike of chocolate chip cookies because she was baking them when her father told her of her mother's death.

I reminded her that she loved to watch silly movies and that I had a collection of them at my house for her to pull out when her mood slipped towards depression.

I told her how much she loved Cassie and how she would take her to play chess but I knew they were going to hang out at the mall to give me some quiet time. I whispered about the hard time she had after her injury on the Prometheus and reminded her that she had disclosed her talks with her team to me along with her nightmares after the Alpha site incident.

I told her I remembered how she would show up at my house in the middle of the night crying and how I would hold her until she slept. I said that she was one of the smartest and bravest people I knew and that she had a pure heart and a kind soul. I finished by saying my friend Sam would believe me.

She turned and cried out my name.

I saw emotions crossing her face and then her hand was covering her mouth. She was wavering, had I finally gotten through to her?

The colonel was there to hold her as she whispered that only I knew those things. Cassie and Daniel were the only ones who'd known about the other two instances.

I called out to her as the colonel pulled her out of the room. He turned around and gave me a look of anger.

The door closed and I was alone again.

What had I expected? I looked at the camera and replayed the tape again. That was not me. I had not died on that planet. I am here. I am me.

Or am I?

Why don't I have any memories of the past eight months? Were they lying to me? Had only one day passed? Could the crew that was going to film the SGC have taken over like they had on Prometheus? I try and think but what they said can't be true.

Maybe I had died and I am someone that has been brainwashed into thinking I am Janet Fraiser. Would someone or some organization go through all that trouble?

It was possible. The things going on every day here on the mountain could give someone enough initiative to do it.

Was I a fraud?

My hands started to shake. Had Janet Fraiser really died? Was I brought here to take her place? Did they know about the videotape?

All this was racing through my mind. Oh, my God, if I am not Janet Fraiser, then who am I?

My mind was screaming at me to stop this train of thought.

It's telling me that I am not crazy that I am Janet Fraiser.

I wanted to scream; this was so tiring.

I closed my eyes against the frightening thoughts in my mind. The look on Cassie's face would always haunt me, as would the pain on Sam's. The anger the Colonel felt for me when he called me a fraud and when he had saved my life. Teal'c's contempt at me trying to speak to him and convince him I was who I said I was.

Then Daniel's expressions and actions, I had hurt him so much that he had called me a liar and shot me. He was angry and blamed me for the hurt I had caused Cassie and Sam. I knew he would have killed me if the Colonel had not intervened

My own family did not believe me and they had every right not to. But if I were in their situation …would I react the same?

I was thinking this as the door opened. I closed my eyes not wanting to participate in the "this is not your life Janet Fraiser" game.

He cleared his throat and I looked up.

It's the General.

"Sir? Oh, thank God you're here! I've tried to tell them who I am and they don't believe me. I've said it to them and I'll repeat it to you. I woke up in a field 50 miles from Colorado Springs I was picked up by a man name Archie and brought to my empty home then to Sam's. They are telling me I died, that eight months have passed since I went to sleep. Sir, the last thing I remember was getting ready for bed, I was going to be interviewed by the documentary crew and wanted to get a good night's sleep. Please, Sir. Please tell me you believe me."

I looked up at him with hope. He was my last chance.

He was by my side and he didn't say a word. He picked up the camera and I knew he didn't believe me.

"I don't know who you are, young lady but mark my words, I will make you pay for harming my people. You've messed with the wrong General. I will find out the truth and there will be nowhere you can hide. I guarantee you will suffer for this charade."

I wanted to scream at him.

"God! What is wrong with all of you? I'm sick and tired of explaining who I am! What do you want me to do, lie? Well, it's not going to work! I am Janet Fraiser."

"Alright then, where were you for the past eight months? Explain that. Explain who it was that we buried; explain who we memorialized; explain to your daughter where her mother has been when she promised never to leave her. Well, I'm waiting for your answer. Don't have any, do you? I didn't think so. "

I gasped. He turned and made his way to the door.

"You have a wedding picture of you and your wife in the cabinet behind your desk. You told me that was the happiest day of your life. You still go to Virginia on her birthday, wedding anniversary and the day of her death to put white tulips and red roses on her grave. You treat the Colonel as the son you never had. You told me when you thought Ba'al had killed him that you didn't know if you would be able to continue sending people you loved through the gate and how you would trade your life for his. You love old war movies and sometimes came down to the infirmary so we could watch them together and munch on your famous popcorn, m & m's, and almonds creation. Sir, if I wasn't Janet Fraiser how would I know these things?"

He stopped walking and hung his head. I held my breath; had I reached him?

I called out to him, "Please, Sir help me!"

He started to walk again and I started to pull at my restraints. I know I had reached him; I knew he believed me.

"Is everyone crazy? Why won't you admit you believe me? God help me before I lose my mind!"

The General left and one of my nurses came in.

"Maggie?"

She had a syringe in her hand.

"No! I don't want that, please, Maggie don't!"

She stopped when I called her name but then continued towards me.

"It's Lt. Smith to you ma'am. Please cooperate or I'm going to have to call in the airmen to help me."

"Maggie, it's me please…"

She raised her hand to make me stop speaking.

"I will not tolerate your lies, you've hurt enough people today. Trust me, I'd have them duct tape your mouth shut if I was in charge."

Before I could answer her she stuck me with the needle.

Now I knew why the colonel was always complaining about being pricked and prodded. I felt the sedative working quickly. With my mind going numb I wondered if I was the liar they said I was, if so then this was a sick plot.

My last thought was if I wasn't Janet Fraiser, then who was I?