Jonghyun swallowed hard.
"R-right. Sleeping with you. Okay, no problem." He said, trying to regain himself and not sound like a completely flustered idiot.
"My bed's pretty big, so it's fine." Key said nonchalantly. Apparently Jonghyun was the only one absolutely panicked about this. Jonghyun shuffled uncomfortably in place.
"Are you sure you don't want me to just sleep on the couch? I mean, it's your room, it's not really fair to you…"
"Here you go again, worrying about everything." Key said with a sigh. "I am not letting my guest sleep on the couch. Also, my bed is incredibly comfortable, you'd be missing out."
Jonghyun could practically feel the beads of his sweat forming on his forehead. He tried to laugh but in his nervous state it came out as more of a pained groan. Key raised one eyebrow at him.
Could I seem any more like a freak if I tried?
"Well anyway, I'm going to shower." Key said. "You can take one after me if you want. Make yourself comfortable in the meantime." Jonghyun smiled and nodded, the most he could manage in his current situation. As soon as Key had walked down the hallway he made a dive for his bag, whipping out his cell phone to call Minho.
"Pick up pick up pick up…" He muttered to himself, gripping his phone tightly.
"Hi you've reached Minho's phone, leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you."
"Fuck!" Jonghyun yelled in frustration. He ended the call and opened up a new text message, his hands flying furiously against the buttons on his phone.
To: Minho
minho I got kicked out of the house and im staying with key and hes about to take a shower now and I dont know what to do CALL ME BACK PLEASE SERIOUSLY MINHO
Breathing hard, he sent the almost nonsensical message and threw his phone on Key's bed. He followed suit shortly after, collapsing on the bed and curling himself up into a ball, intertwining himself in Key's blankets. He inhaled Key's scent deep into his lungs, his limbs tingling from the intoxicating smell of vanilla and coffee, calming him down considerably.
That is, until he heard the shower turn on from down the hall and his mind went blank.
Key was down the hall.
In the shower.
Naked.
He grabbed his phone again, dialing Minho's number as fast as possible. He let it ring to voicemail.
"MINHO PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN PHONE!" He barked into the receiver. He threw his phone into his bag and covered his head with a pillow, doing his best to drown out the sound of the shower from down the hall.
Stop thinking about Key naked stop thinking about Key naked stop thinking about Key naked…
It was no use. No matter how much he pressed his ears shut or what position he contorted himself in, he couldn't keep the images of Key out of his head. His imagination teased him with ideas of Key soaking wet, dripping with soap…
But most of all, he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that all he wanted to do was walk in there, strip naked, and join him in the shower.
He bit his lip as he started to feel an uncomfortable tightening in his pants, curling himself up even tighter into a ball and cursing himself under his breath for being such a pervert. He suffered in silence with a pillow plastered to his ears as each passing second drained ounce after ounce of his energy.
Filled with self-loathing he writhed around on the bed, detesting himself for the completely inappropriate thoughts racing through his head, for a boy no less. Although he had recognized his feelings for Key, he still didn't want them to be true. However his body's involuntary reaction made it impossible to deny.
He snapped up when he heard the shower turn off, grabbing his phone and placing a pillow on top of his lap to disguise his current… problem. He acted as casually as he could as he heard Key's light footsteps coming down the hallway, wearing an expression of almost boredom and pretending to text.
"Jjongie, you want to shower now?" Jonghyun almost dropped his phone in shock when he saw Key. His usually spiky hair was dripping wet and pressed against his forehead, a few droplets of water rolling languidly down his neckline. Jonghyun's eyes travelled lower as he saw the adorable pair of pink boxers Key was wearing, just slightly shorter than Jonghyun was comfortable with, not that he was going to complain.
He suddenly realized that Key had, in fact, just asked him a question, and instead of a response Jonghyun had been staring up and down at the boy's thin, scantily-clad body, his eyes most likely glazed over as he inspected every inch of the boy's porcelain skin as Key rubbed his hair dry with a towel.
"Y-yeah I'll shower now, if that's okay with you…" He said, turning away from the image of a slightly wet Key. Key rolled his eyes at Jonghyun's meek response, gesturing for Jonghyun to follow him down the hall. Jonghyun picked up his bag, placing it in front of his lap as to not reveal himself, and followed closely behind Key.
Key pulled him into the bathroom, opening the closet door swiftly and producing a fluffy pink towel.
"Key, is everything you own pink?" Jonghyun asked with a smirk. Key's face turned the same shade as the towel as he shoved it unapologetically into Jonghyun's arms.
"I like pink, okay?" He said. Jonghyun laughed.
Seeing Key flustered was an incredible rarity. Jonghyun didn't want to miss a single second of his tinged red face and embarrassed smile, the moment he let his confident guard down and allowed Jonghyun a glimpse into his more humble self. He didn't want anyone else to see this uncharacteristically reserved side of Key. He wanted that bashful expression to be reserved for him and only him. Key flicked his forehead, snapping him out of his daydream. "Hey! Wipe that stupid smile off of your face!" He shouted, his efforts only managing to make Jonghyun grin even harder. Key spun around, now opting to ignore Jonghyun rather than continue to face further embarrassment. "And this is how you work the shower. Got it? Good." He said quickly as he spun back around and returned to his room, leaving Jonghyun alone in the bathroom, clutching the pink towel tightly in his hands. He pressed it up to his face with a smile.
After spending a few minutes fiddling with the knobs due to Key's brief, rather unhelpful description of the mechanics of his shower, he finally set it to a reasonable temperature, stepping in and allowing the warm water to run down his face.
The weight of the day's events hit him like a train as he finally had some time to process them fully. His dad had said he was no longer "welcome" in his house, but for how long? How long would he be staying with Key? And during that time, would he be able to control himself around him?
But more importantly, what exactly would he be controlling himself from doing?
Jonghyun sighed, rubbing his eyes in the warmth of the shower. He lifted up a bottle of shampoo, pouring it slowly into his hands, watching the thick liquid fall drop by drop into his palm. Lifting it to his nose, he breathed in the scent.
Vanilla.
Of course.
He finished quickly, unable to spend too much time in the shower while he knew that Key was just a few feet down the hall. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realized that in his haste he had packed a reasonable pair of pajamas, knowing full well that he could just as easily have picked one of the many pairs of incredibly embarrassing teddy bear pants he kept in his drawers, having never really outgrown them. He slid into his knee length shorts and t-shirt, tossing the absurdly bright pink towel into Key's hamper and making sure he left the bathroom as clean as possible.
He drifted slowly back to Key's room, his eyes slightly clouded from the steam. Key was lying on his bed with his legs crossed, his back propped up against the headboard, and reading what seemed like, to Jonghyun's untrained eye, some sort of fashion magazine.
Key skimmed the pages, dragging his finger across each one lightly, grinning when he saw something he liked and scrunching up his face when something dissatisfied him. Jonghyun smiled, wondering if Key knew just how expressive his face was when he was lost in his own thoughts. His head still in a fog, he wandered over to Key's bed.
"Move over." He mumbled. Key sighed, scooting over dramatically to allow Jonghyun some space on the bed.
Don't panic, Jonghyun. Just act casual.
He flopped down next to Key, choosing the side of the bed that was up against the wall. He slid slowly underneath the covers and pulled them up to his chin.
"You're going to sleep already? It's only 9:30 you know." Key said, not looking up from his magazine. Jonghyun groaned, turning away from Key and pressing his face up against the wall, trying to put as much distance between the two of them as humanly possible.
"I'm pretty exhausted, I thought I'd just go to bed now." He lied. In reality, he wanted to fall asleep before Key did, knowing full well that if he saw so much as a glimpse of a sleeping Key he would be tossing and turning all night, his heart beating too loudly to sleep.
The room went silent except for the occasional flutter of pages as Key skimmed, almost erratically, through his choice of reading material. Jonghyun clenched his eyes shut, trying to sleep through willpower alone.
But who was he kidding?
Key was close enough that Jonghyun could feel the heat radiating off his body, he could hear his every breath, feel his every movement. Despite the distance he attempted to create, he was still painfully aware of Key's presence, and the fact that he was lying in the same bed as the boy made sleeping a damn near impossibility.
Admitting defeat, he rolled back over to face Key, looking up at the boy's eyes that were lazily rolling over the page.
"What are you reading?"
"You don't know anything about fashion, you wouldn't be interested." He said dismissively. Jonghyun scoffed, sitting upright side by side with Key.
"How do you know? Show me." Key rolled his eyes, though smiled slightly before he began explaining what he felt constituted a good or bad outfit, how make-up can accentuate a look, and whatever "avant-garde" meant. Although Jonghyun didn't understand a word of it, there were few things he loved more than listening to Key talk. Especially now, sitting in bed with him, their shoulders just barely touching as Jonghyun reached across him every so often to point out something in his magazine, a flimsy pretense to bring himself just centimeters closer to Key's neck. Key paused for breath, looking down at Jonghyun, who was doing his best to look like he understood.
"You didn't understand any of that, did you?" He asked. Jonghyun rubbed his chin pensively.
"In a word, no." He admitted. Key rolled his eyes again, tossing the magazine on his nightstand.
"I knew you wouldn't get it."
"Hey! I tried!" He protested. Key just laughed, reaching over to his nightstand and turning the light off.
And it was that one simple action that sent Jonghyun into panic mode, his heart pounding wildly against his chest, threatening to crack every rib he had. The fact that he was sitting in bed, with Key, with the lights off, was all too much to handle.
"U-um…" He began, not exactly sure what he was trying to say. Key yawned, adjusting his pillows and lying down, facing Jonghyun.
"I know it's early, but I think I'll go to sleep." He whispered.
"Y-yeah, me, too." He breathed, the noise barely escaping his lips. His eyes finally adjusted to the dark, and with the help of the bright moonlight he was able to see the outline of Key's face, his eyes glowing and skin tinged blue under the azure light.
"Good night, Jjongie." He whispered.
"Night, Key." He responded.
At that moment if someone had told Jonghyun that there were other people on the planet, he wouldn't have believed them. Because right now, under the dead silence of the room, he and Key might as well have been the only two people on the earth. At this moment, Key was the only person who mattered.
He turned over to face the wall again, terrified Key would be able to hear his heart pounding, sending coursing vibrations through his whole body. Five minutes turned to ten, ten to fifteen, fifteen to twenty as he tried time and time again to fall asleep. He tried adjusting his position, turning back around to face the door.
And that was a big mistake.
He gasped when he found himself directly in front of a sleeping Key. Key's eyes were shut, his face molded in a blissfully angelic expression. His chest rose and fell slowly, rhythmically, as Jonghyun found himself involuntarily timing his breathing with Key's. His skin looked like that of a doll's, still slightly wet from the shower, glowing brightly from the strong light of the moon.
He was beautiful.
He covered his mouth and tucked his knees to his chest, resisting the urge to reach up and touch the boy's perfect face, contemplating just how easy it would be to pull Key toward him, closing the gap between their lips. Any hope of getting at least a few hours of sleep had been completely ruined as his heart pounded, the sensation travelling all the way to his fingertips.
The seconds ticked by as Jonghyun grew more and more restless, unable to control himself any longer.
"Key." He whispered, nudging his side. "Key. Wake up." The boy knitted his eyebrows together, emitting a low groan. "Key, I can't sleep."
"Try harder." Key mumbled, not even bothering to open his eyes.
"I did." Jonghyun replied with complete honesty.
Key rolled on his back and covered his eyes with his hands. With a sigh, he turned his head toward Jonghyun, sliding his hand off of his face and placing on the blankets once again.
"You know," Key began, "I was having this crazy dream."
"What was it?"
"I was dreaming that I was sound asleep, and some jerk woke me up." Jonghyun sighed and rolled over, pressing his nose up against the wall once again.
"Forget it, go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you."
"Well I'm already up. What's wrong?" Jonghyun frowned. He couldn't very well say that being in the same bed as Key made him too nervous to sleep. He exhaled loudly turning around toward Key again, ignoring the face that their faces were just inches away from each other.
"Do you think I'll be kicked out forever?" He said with a light smile. Key scoffed.
"What's so bad about staying with me?"
I spend every single second thinking about you, I can't sleep because you're inches away from me, and every time you so much as shower I lose my mind.
"Nothing."
"You know, your parents remind me a lot of my dad."
Jonghyun held his breath. Key had never talked about his dad before. There were so many questions he wanted to ask him, but he didn't want to rush anything or force him to talk about it.
"Where… where is your dad, Key?" The room became silent, other than the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall. Key looked pensive.
"There isn't really much of a story." He said. "I… knew I was gay for a long time, Jonghyun. My mom knew, too. She's always been supportive. But my dad…" He blew air out of his mouth. "He wasn't. He… freaked out when he found out, to say the least."
Jonghyun didn't know how to respond. He had no idea that something like this had ever happened to Key. Key was so strong, he disguised it so well.
"Key I'm so sorry. That's horrible." He said quietly. Key shrugged.
"Not really. He had always been an asshole. That gave my mom a final push to leave him and take me with her."
"She sounds amazing."
"I suppose." Key said, but Jonghyun could see him trying to hold back a smile.
"He's the reason my brother moved out." Jonghyun propped himself up on his elbow.
"You have a brother?" Jonghyun asked. Key did the same, lying on his elbow and supporting his head with his hands.
"Yeah, but he's a lot older than me."
"Is he anything like you? I want to meet him." Jonghyun asked. Key grinned.
"We're polar opposites." Jonghyun laughed. There was a lot he didn't know about Key. He never seemed to speak very much about his life.
"Key have you…" Jonghyun bit his lip. "Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Jonghyun immediately regretted asking such a personal question. For some reason, he just really wanted to know. Key scratched his face lightly.
"No, I haven't." Jonghyun felt his heart skip.
I could be his first.
Jonghyun blushed fiercely.
What am I thinking? Stop it!
"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
"Umm… I had a few when I was younger. But they didn't last for more than a week." He said, completely honest. He never had much time for a girlfriend. But maybe he could have made time if he met someone he liked enough.
"So then… have you ever kissed a girl?" Jonghyun almost choked out loud.
"Oh my god, why are you asking me that?" He asked, completely embarrassed. Key laughed loudly.
"I just want to know!" Jonghyun flopped facedown onto his pillow.
"Yes, I have…" He said, words muffled by the pillow.
"Did you just say 'yes'?" Key asked. "No way. You've kissed a girl?" Jonghyun nodded slowly into his pillow. "A girl actually kissed you? I don't believe it."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what it sounds like."
"It was in middle school! Just a quick peck… Why am I even telling you this?" Jonghyun covered his ears, drowning out the sound of Key's overzealous laughter.
"I just… I just can't believe it!" Key said, still in hysterics. Thoroughly exhausted from Key's teasing, Jonghyun flipped himself over on top of him, putting either hand on his sides, staring him right in the face. Key's large eyes, slightly red from laughing, met his. His smile faded, replaced with a look of pure innocence.
"I swear to god Key, sometimes I just want to kill you." Jonghyun whispered. Key pursed his lips to one side, not moving his eyes away from his. "It was middle school! Who even remembers that?"
"Apparently you do." Key said with a light laugh. Why was Key being so annoying with this?
Jonghyun suddenly realized the awkward position he had himself in, practically on top of the boy, his arms on either side of Key. But he couldn't bring himself to move.
"So… you've never kissed anyone before?" He whispered, more of a statement than a question. Key shook his head, a serious expression on his face. Jonghyun swallowed thickly, his eyes travelling back and forth between the boys slightly parted lips and his large doe-like eyes. He unconsciously let his tongue run across his own mouth, looking downward to the small expanse of perfect skin displayed by Key's v-neck shirt, just barely wet from the drops of water from his hair. Key stayed perfectly still underneath him. Key's lips were so pink, so perfect, just a foot away from his…
Oh my god.
What am I doing?
"J-Jong-" Jonghyun rolled off of Key as quickly as humanly possible, returning to his side of the bed, creating as much distance as he could between them once again.
"S-sorry for waking you up, Key. We should sleep." He said, completely shocked at his impulsive behavior.
"Y-yeah. Night, Jonghyun." Key replied quietly.
Jonghyun clamped his eyes shut, his heart pounding in his head. Just what was he doing back there? What had he been trying to do?
He pulled the covers over his face, ashamed by himself.
Because he knew full well what he had wanted to do.
And he knew that it could never, ever, happen.
After hours of tossing and turning, he finally let the exhaustion take over his body, welcoming a comparatively more peaceful sleep.
