Chapter 12
Decisions
Sakura smiled vaguely, staring at him.
"I wouldn't get mad. But it wouldn't be right." She said, shaking her head a little. Syaoran raised his head and stared at her for so long she felt she would melt. "And you know why it wouldn't be right'' Sakura asked
''I'', Syaoran said, not wanting to say the word, his mind rejecting the reason.
''I am arranged to marry your stepbrother. I will be marrying him.'' Sakura said, her voice filled with undefined emotions, her features silhouetted by the long afternoon shadows.
Syaoran's heart felt like it's being squeezed so tight, the difficulty in breathing getting worse.
''I know that. Yukito told me. He doesn't know you. He doesn't even want to be married with you. Why push it'' Syaoran asked, leaning on the car seat, trying to control himself from grabbing her and pulling her towards him. She's the only one that kept him going through all these years: the simple hug they shared in their childhood being his only comforting thought. She serves as a reminder that there's still hope in this cruel world, that after the night, daylight will shine on you.
''There's more to it than I can explain, Syaoran. That is why there is a need to tell you that I couldn't see you again. I couldn't go out with you again. Much more, if you're starting to have feelings for me, don't push it because you'll only get hurt.'' Sakura said, staring at him, trying hard to remember his face.
''Sakura'' Syaoran said, grabbing her shoulders. ''You're the only solid wall that I can lean to after okaa-san's death. Please. I don't want to lose you'' he said, trying hard to save the last hope he has in his life. Sakura shook her head and opened the car door.
''I couldn't do this. I will marry your stepbrother. Syaoran, find someone else to love. You're not that hard to love. Besides, I've only known you for a few days and it couldn't be that you fell in love with me that fast.''Sakura said, making a move to get out. Syaoran grabbed her back.
''What if I did? What if I fell in love with you since that moment you hugged me and comforted me? What if we're really meant to be and you're risking your lifetime happiness with this decision'' Syaoran asked, his breath wheezing in and out loudly.
''I'm sorry'' Sakura said then got out of the car. She looked back at him. There's a strong urge to get back and hug him. The lonely little child she saw years ago suddenly resurfaced, making him look like a vulnerable kid. ''I'm sorry Syao'' she said again and started walking.
Syaoran opened the car door and was about to follow her but the asthma attack left him feeling helpless and weak.
''I will make you min Sakura. even if it takes me a lifetime, I will make you mine.'' Syaoran vowed to himself.
Sakura didn't go home right away after that. Instead, she continued walking until Syaoran's car was out of sight. Exhausted, she sat down on one of the benches and stared out at the endless horizon in front of her. It had only been a few days since she saw him again and yet her heart was telling her Syaoran is special.
She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, trying hard to convince herself that this is for the better. Then she heard the distant roar of thunder. In a few short minutes rain started pouring down heavily. She sat on the bench, not wanting to move. Then all of a sudden something dark was above her. She looked up and saw a huge black umbrella sheltering her from the harsh rain.
''I've been looking at you for a while now and you look lonely.'' The gentle male voice said. Sakura looked up and the smiling face of Yukito beaming at her.
''I''
''A pretty lady like you shouldn't be out here in the rain alone'' Yukito said, offering his hand to help her stand up. Sakura took it, warmth spreading from her fingertips.
''Thank you'' she said. Yukito doesn't know her. He doesn't even have an idea who she is. Maybe remaining to be in anonymity to him would be better for now.
''I'm Yukito by the way'' Yukito said, leading her to one of the little stalls nearby for shelter.
''I'm Sa—Sarah'' Sandy said, refusing to give her real name. They were now in front of a small noodle house? and safe from the harsh pouring rain.
''You know what's so good about the rain?'' Yukito asked. Sakura shook her head.
''What''
''It's the thought that you'll be able to eat hot soup to battle the cold!'' Yukito said, sitting on the long bench. ''Want to eat with me?''he asked. Sakura smiled and nodded. The thought of hot soup making her hungry.
Yukito ordered two steaming bowls of ramen and they eat it in silence for the first few minutes. Sakura kept throwing him stealing glances. She was trying to assert the personality of the guy she's meant to marry. The night she met him, he struck him as a tough, gallant guy. And that impression didn't change until now, yet, yet there was something more about him that she ache to know. He's just like Syaoran-too full of unfathomable secrets.
''What are you staring at me for?'' Yukito asked.
Sakura blushed lightly. ''Nothing.'' She said and continued eating her soup. She was feeling more and more comfortable with him with each minute that ticks by. The comfort wasn't like that of Syaoran's so instant and familiar, the one with Yukito was more of a growing comfort, something you feel gradually.
The car suddenly stopped running. Syaoran cursed a little. He wanted to get home to get his inhaler and now this! He's stuck in the middle of the road with a few cars passing by and his asthma attack is getting worse! He opened the car door and painfully tried to stand up. The whole world turning slowly around him.
He needed to breath. breath in. breath out.
he got out of the car, raised the hood.
breath in. breath out.
the whole world was turning darker.
Smaller. Darker.
and then he slumped unconscious on the ground.
There was another car that stopped. A lady with pigtails rushed to him. Her hands trembling a little.
''Are you okay? hey! Answer me''The lady asked, trying to wake him up.
