Chapter Twelve – And I Love Him
I felt unusually strange waking up, and noticed right away why… There was a body pressed against, snoring away. Looking to my left, I saw Mica, and instantly remembered the other night. With a groan, I tried to slip out from under her, but she moaned, and then rolled further on top of me.
Irritated, I squirmed until I finally managed to get part of her off of me. Suddenly jerking back, she rolled off of me fully and onto the floor, landing with a caught breath and an oof!
"Hey!" I heard her whine after a moment, sticking her head over the side of the bed with a glare, "That was so mean! I was sleep very, very peacefully!" she growled, standing up.
I rolled my eyes, smirking as she slid into the bed next to me again. "You were lying on top of me." I shrugged.
"Well, forgive me if I get cold whilst sleeping." She scoffed as she sat on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly picking at some lint on her pants.
"I'm sorry, okay?" I said after a moment, sighing again as I rubbed my eyes.
"It's perfectly fine, babe!" she gushed after a mere second of silence, throwing her arms around me. I patted her back awkwardly before gently prying her off.
"Hey," I said, something suddenly reoccurring to me, "what did you do last night?" I asked her, curious. She blushed. Yeah, Mica, as in my best friend, blushed.
"Oh… um. What are you even talking about?" she scoffed, leaning back on the bed. I raised my eyebrows at her, cocking my head to the side.
"You know, right before I fell asleep." I said, suspicious now. She looked to the side, like she was avoiding my gaze before answering.
"Alright, fine, I'll tell you. But only cause you're my best friend." She sighed dramatically, as though this was the most difficult thing in the world and she couldn't believe I was asking her to do this.
"Okay, okay, get on with it." I rolled my eyes.
"I kind of… just might, like Jaja. But only a bit." She giggled, putting a hand over her mouth at my horrified expression.
"Oh, my god! What… what about Marvin?" A light spray of red colored her cheeks before she bit her lip.
"Oh, um, him. Yeah, I don't know if that's gonna work out anymore. I mean, he's nice and all, but he's lost his… appeal." She said casually, as if we were talking about the weather, rather the man she's been in love with since ninth grade.
"His appeal? Are kidding? And why does it have to by my fricking brother?" I made a face, shaking my head. She looked hurt by my comment, playing with her hands.
"Sorry." She said, but her blush worsened, "But um, this is the thing, I think we're going to go out." She said softly, wincing at the expression that crossed my face.
"What? Are you freaking kidding?" I screeched, my face turning pink. She slapped a hand over my mouth, motioning to the still snoring Rissa. With a warning glance, she removed her hand. I sucked in, trying to gather my thoughts.
"When… I mean, when did this happen?" I demanded. How long had this been going on?
"Uh… about six months ago. When I was still here." she said guiltily, avoiding eye contact. I was shocked into silence, and then hot tears of hurt sprung into my eyes.
"I just… I cannot believe you and Jaja would go behind my back. He is my freaking brother. You could have at least given me a hint! Something!" A tear escaped my eyes then, trailing down my face. "How could you do this to me? You hid this from me for six months! And you cheated on Marvin! God, what the hell is your problem?" I hissed at her, my jaw set. Hurt was pooling in my chest, like water filling a well.
"Wait, Gwen, you don't get it! Jaja and I are in love! Anything I had with Marvin pales in comparison! We both get that, it's just I haven't seen Marvin, and I won't break up with him over the phone!" she said desperately, clasping my hands in hers. I met her eyes and saw them pleading me to understand, to say that all is forgiven.
"No, I can't." I whispered back, so quietly Mica didn't hear. "I'm… I can't… I have to go!" I screeched finally, ripping my hands away from hers. I leaped from the bed, throwing clothes around until finally finding some clean ones, throwing them on in a hustle.
"Gwen, where are you going?" she asked me, her voice sad as she watched me.
"Honestly, I have no idea." I said icily, turning back once more in the doorway. "Have fun with my brother," I hissed before slamming the door, stomping down the stairways. I paused in the doorway to the bathroom, and my heart hammered uneasily. Listening intently, I heard no sign of footsteps, so I slipped inside, digging through a drawer until I found my razor.
Sitting on the edge of the toilet, I cut a little slit on my arm, sliding it over and up, until blood started to drip out. I caught my breath, closing my eyes as I felt that head rush, the feeling of focusing on the cut and only that.
I didn't stop there, though; I was suddenly craving that feeling more, like a drug. Licking my chapped lips, I did it again and again, once more on wrist, a couple more times on my arms… Finally, when spatters of blood were running down my arm in directions, I counted the cuts I'd made; six, I stopped. More tears whirred themselves out, rolling down my face softly.
I ran water over them, wincing at the sting. I put on a brave face, though, and pressed toilet paper to them until all the bleeding stopped. Flushing the paper down the toilet, I rolled my sleeves up, holding them up with my wrists.
I eased the door opened, glancing around in the hallway before stepping out. I walked down the hall, before throwing the door open; barely pausing to shut it behind me as I stepped outside.
Rage and pain fought inside of me as I jogged to no where, deciding I didn't care where I ended up anymore.
Seth, Mica, Jaja, my parents… they'd all turned on me. What the hell was I going to do?
~*~*~
As I approached the beach, I tuned all the noise around me out, focusing on the dim water lazily pushing up against the sand. Slowly, I walked to its edge. Sticking a toe in, I found it was freezing. Curling my toes, I wished I had thought to grab tennis shoes. I only had my flimsy flip-flops.
"Are you cold?" a soft voice asked behind me, a touch of worry echoing through it. I jumped, startled, before spinning around wide-eyed.
"What… the hell." I finished the sentence in a whisper, suddenly wishing that I didn't have tears streaming down my cheeks, and that my hair wasn't a tangled mess. Seth was standing in front of me, shirtless. His muscles gleamed in the small amount of light the clouds allowed to pass through, making my heart sputter unevenly.
"Gwen… I know that… I shouldn't have said anything that early. I'm really sorry. But you have to believe me." He whispered, casting his eyes downward. More fury than ever bubbled to the surface, and my ears turned red.
"BELIEVE YOU? ARE YOU CRAZY? Wait, I guess you ARE!" I screamed at him, causing him to wince, almost in… pain? I ignored it, waiting for a response.
"I can… show you." He said after a moment of silence, and my body froze. I flushed, looking at my fingernails. And then I really thought of his statement.
"WHAT? Are you kidding? No, no! You'll kill me!" I screamed, backing up a little into the water. His face exploded with pain as he stared at me for a moment.
"Gwen, do you really remember the legends? Because we don't kill people. We protect them. From vampires." His words were coaxing and slow, like he was speaking to a child. My face reddened.
"Fine," I sneered, "show me." He smiled encouragingly, reaching out a hand. I stared at it for a while, before raising my hand and clasping his. As I held on, a part of me seemed to lock in place, a finality ringing through me that I couldn't quite place.
He led me to the forest, leading me deeper and deeper in. At last, he stopped, putting his hands up. "Okay, sweetie, I need you to stay completely calm… Also, close your eyes." He added on, almost as an afterthought. My doubts were suddenly wavering, my defense weakening… Was he actually going to try and 'show' me? Or is he actually…
"Why? I mean, why do I have to close my eyes?" I retaliated, blinking.
"Because I… I have to strip," he said slowly, reddening. I blushed deeply, appalled.
"What! Why?" I gasped, covering my mouth. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.
"Because I have to phase into a wolf. I don't want to ruin another pair of shorts, my mom'll kill me." He said smoothly, as if the destruction of his clothes was everyday conversation. I looked at him with a look of horror on my face, and he sighed, looking ruefully at his shorts.
"Fine, I have an extra pair around my ankle anyway." He said sadly. Then his neck snapped up, squinting at me. "Gwen, you have to promise me, you have to swear, that you will not move from this spot. I'm going over there," he pointed, "about ten feet away. You can even back up a little if you want. Again, don't come near me. I'll come close to you, if I should." He said carefully, speaking to me as though this was the most important thing in the world. I swallowed, my throat going tight. Was he really that dangerous?
"Okay." I whispered quietly, looking pointedly away from him. He smiled at me softly one more time before gently squeezing my arms, walking away.
He was ten feet away, like he said, and then he began to shake. At first, it was only a little, but with each passing second it grew, until finally his edges were blurring. And then, like an explosion, he… well, morphed. There's no other word for it.
Fur seemed to erupt from his skin, his nose lengthening until finally it was a snout, and then; he was a wolf. A big wolf. Actually, the hugest freakin' wolf I've ever seen.
My heart sputtered unevenly, and for a moment, I was sure I was at the beginning of a heart attack, but I calmed myself down, falling against a tree for support. The bark scraped my skin, and my breath again got caught in my throat. Dizziness floated around in my head as I stared hard at the sandy wolf that was Seth.
The huge body took a hesitant step forward, and I made a choking noise in my throat, throwing my hands up to cover my face, afraid he would attack me. I peeked through my fingers to meet his eyes, surprised to read that he was hurt from my reaction.
A tear trailed down my face, and I rubbed it away. Was I really afraid of Seth, though? So far, it didn't look like he was going to hurt me, in fact, it seemed like he cared about me a lot.
No, no, I don't think I'm afraid of him. "Go… go back into a human." I whispered after a second, my voice raspy as I tried to shake back the tears threatening to spill over. Instantly, he disappeared behind a tear, and my stomach lurched, thinking for a moment that he was leaving me alone in the forest, but soon enough I remembered he would be naked.
A naked Seth made my mouth run, my vagina suddenly twitch with a weird anticipation. I blushed red, staring at my hands. I was shamed I felt those things towards him, there's no way he felt them towards me… right?
"Gwen, you okay?" I heard his voice, tentative, ask me. I couldn't speak then, a horrible sensation crawling over my skin. I opened my mouth, and then closed it, at a loss.
Finally, I nodded slowly, motioning for him to come forward. "I am… shocked. And feel awful." I murmured slowly, the tears finally releasing themselves. Seth automatically lent forward, pulling me into his arms.
"Sweetie, don't feel bad. Your reaction honestly wasn't the worst one. It really wasn't." he said quietly, staring at me hard. I blushed, shaking my head in an angry motion.
"I was horrific to you, and you were telling the truth! I mean, you were pouring your heart out, and there I was, shooting you down. I promise, I'll believe you, whatever you tell me, I promise." I closed my eyes, hugging him tightly.
"Umm…" he whispered, suddenly staring guiltily at the ground. I raised an eyebrow at him, groaning a bit.
"Don't even tell me there's more." I said slowly, a sinking feeling brewing in my stomach. His face screwed up, like he tasted something sour.
"Yes, there is. Remember all of the legends?" I nodded, confirming that I did. "Well, do you know imprinting?" he asked. My whole body whirred nervously. I knew what imprinting is, the tie that bonds a wolf to one girl forever. They love her unconditionally, she is their whole world.
"Yes, I know what imprinting is." I attempted to say evenly, but my voice betrayed me as it jumped a few octaves. He took a deep breath, massaging my hands silently.
"Well, I imprinted… on you." He said. His face was tense as he scanned me for a reaction. My mouth formed an O as my body froze, heart pounding out of my chest erratically.
"Gwilla, sweetie? Are you… alright?" he asked worriedly after a moment. Tears filled my eyes as a sob threatened to spill over my throat.
"Seth… I thought that… I mean, I don't know if… if I can like you that way. Yet, I mean. M-maybe someday…" I said awkwardly, trying not to hurt his feelings. It was scary, knowing that I meant so much to him…
"Shh, shh! Its okay, baby. It's okay. You don't have to cry, alright? We don't have to be in that relationship." He soothed me, nestling me into his chest. I let out a hiccup, trying to suppress my sobs.
"R-really?" I whimpered.
"Yes, really. There's another imprint, between a guy a little older than me, and a two year old." My stomach dropped to my feet. That was… sick, disgusting. "Wait, Hon, it's not what you think. Quil has never thought of her that way. And he won't, until she's ready. And I promise you, I won't, until you're ready. I will be whatever you want me to be, okay? I am yours, you are mine." My eyes connected with his as he said these words, and I was trapped within them.
"O-okay." I whispered silently, and then hugged him back, hard as I could. My arms hooked onto him and right then, I knew, that he was going to be there for me, no matter what. And I love him.
Heyla! Wow, I am SO sorry for not updating. It's just that I've been extremely busy with the new babies, and all in life. I swear I'm trying my hardest, on my life!
I want to thank my exceptoinal beta, Swimming cutie xoxo! She's amazing, and a very dear friend. Thanks hun!
As always, TwilightHeart21
