Katsuki- I got into a really bad fight with Deku.

Katsuki- I really fucked up

Katsuki- but we're still friends.

Katsuki- so dont listen to any of the fuckers from class today.

Eijiro- that's rough man

Eijiro- i'll be here if you need me :)

Katsuki- yeah.

Izuku- Hey. I got into a fight with Kacchan.

Izuku- It was bad.

Izuku- but it's OK.

Izuku-I love him, he loves me, as friends. We'll be fine.

Izuku- but I won't be in class today.

Izuku- I dont wanna talk about it.

Eijiro- Okay :)

Eijiro- Kat told me you guys got into a fight.

Eijiro- Take all the time you need, I'll be here for you if you need someone

Izuku- Thanks Eijiro

Two months later.

Graduation is on Saturday, and Izuku is still single. Katsuki knows that Eijiro hasn't asked him out yet. The redhead would have said something. He doesn't blame him though. Izuku has been a bit of a zombie these past two months. He doesn't look to be sleeping very well, and clearly hasn't been eating properly. Not that Katsuki has been watching him of course. It's kinda hard not to though— they sit right next to each other. Not to mention that they've (annoyingly) been paired up for all of their hero training activities for months now.

Katsuki used to enjoy sparring with Izuku. In fact, he was the one who actually asked Aizawa if they could be sparring partners at the beginning of the year. Ever since Aizawa agreed, they have been assigned to work with each other on almost every training and activity. The teacher must see something good between them.

Katsuki would be stupid to deny that they work really well together. They can read each other like open books, and they even created a few combo moves. They're practically unstoppable! He used to love that.

Sparring doesn't bring a him lot of enjoyment now though. As soon as he got back to his room that morning they fought, he shoved on some shoes and went straight to the gym. The punching bag, his hands, his mind... were all a mess by the end of his session. The bag nearly tore from the wall with how hard he was hitting it. It had been a long time since he'd gotten that upset. Izuku served as the ultimate stress reliever and comfort for almost three years.

Without him, he feels lost.

He hates admitting that some of the times he reached out for sex was because he felt the need to be touched and held. Those were normally the days he'd let Izuku fuck him. Unlike Katsuki, Izuku always wanted to look at him when they had sex, always insisted on watching him as he took his cock, spewing all kinds of words of praise and admiration.

"You look so good Kacchan… you're so strong... You feel amazing... I love you like this.."

If only he knew how much he needed to hear those things on the days he felt like crap. Part of him thought Izuku did, but it's not like that matters anymore.

The words Izuku said have been swirling around in his head for weeks, tormenting him.

D-Don't you care about us? Care about, about me?

I like you Kacchan

You don't want me? Don't want this? Then LEAVE!

Over and over those words repeat in his head. They've even started haunting his dreams. More times than he'd like to admit, he's woken up in a cold sweat, palms sparking if not releasing an entire explosion to his room because of those words. He's surprised Eijiro hasn't come by to ask him why he's been blowing up in the middle of the night. Eijiro knows that nightmares cause him to lose control of his quirk, but he must want to give Katsuki space.

This break is good though. He needed to do this, needed to end their arrangement. Katsuki was getting too attached, and he was allowing himself to feel things he knows are just superficial feelings, clouded by sex.

But if that's true, and he really doesn't feel those things... why does it hurt so much?

It's not like they broke up—they weren't dating. You can't lose someone who wasn't even yours to begin with. But it still really, really, sucks. It's like a part of him is missing, and everything is pissing him off. Even stupid little things, like his shoes. Having to change out of his combat boots into his casual shoes has felt like a huge pain in the ass. There are way too many buckles, laces, and zippers on those damn boots. Why the fuck does he need to wear such fancy ass footwear anyway!? And when he ran out of shampoo last week? He nearly destroyed the shower stall because he didn't want to go buy more. He's never gotten upset over something so small like that—it's just shampoo.

In a few days, they will graduate and become pros, and all of their attention will be given to hero work. This whole "friends with benefits" thing would never have worked. It would have been too much of a distraction.

Katsuki was also too obsessed. The feelings he allowed himself to have would have taken his focus away from his work. So this is good. After a few more months, he should be fully over him… right?

Right.

Katsuki will be completely over Deku by then... It's not like his whole world has revolved around Izuku. A few months is more than enough time to erase three years of emotions, habits, and thoughts!

It's not like he thinks about that perfect smile that used to light up Izuku's face whenever he'd say 'Good morning Kacchan!' Or the texts that he would get randomly throughout the week. Katsuki doesn't miss the memes or selfies, or the random photos of spicy food he'd find and send. It's also not any harder to fall asleep now that he doesn't get a 'Good night Kacchan!" text, or have a warm body to cuddle with.

Lunchtime doesn't feel lonely either. Now that Izuku doesn't steal looks at him from across the room, or make comments to him about what he's eating, he can actually focus on... well, eating. It's a good thing! So nope, he doesn't miss that.

Katsuki also doesn't miss the small smiles and glances he would get in the common room when everyone was watching a movie or doing homework. He no longer needs to worry about Izuku bugging him for a taste of whatever food he's cooking in the kitchen! No longer has to have two sets of bowls or plates ready for when he asks Katsuki to make some for him too. Nope. That's not something he will miss at all.

Eating meals with Izuku is certainly not high on his "miss list". Being able to watch Izuku's face light up when he tasted something Katsuki made, or the way his eyes watered when he pretended to say something wasn't too spicy wasn't fun at all—or cute. And listening to him ramble about his day, and really listen to Katsuki when he'd reluctantly talk about his day wouldn't be missed. And he didn't miss thinking about how those same tears that would pool in the corners of his eyes at dinner would be in his eyes later that night when he shoved his cock down his throat.

Nope, won't miss any of that.

He won't miss pulling Izuku aside to randomly kiss him just because, or make out with him when no one was looking… Nope. He won't miss tickling the boy who wasn't his boyfriend in the common room, or teasing him about his never-ending supply of All Might socks.

He tells himself he hasn't noticed how fast Izuku leaves the room at the end of the day, how he shoves his stuff in his bag and bolts so fast, it seems like there's a fucking emergency. The nerd must think being alone in the classroom with him is terrifying now. Izuku leaving so fast surely has nothing to do with the nerd having plans to do something right after the class—Katsuki watches him too closely. He knows it has to be about him. Katsuki doesn't miss the way Izuku would stay and wait for him so they could walk out together, or the times they would wait until the room was empty to sweetly kiss—Izuku letting small noises fall into his mouth. Nope.. doesn't miss that.

He doesn't get jealous that he's spending more and more time with Eijiro, either. He for sure hasn't noticed that Izuku is giving Eijiro all the smiles and glances and warmth that he used to give Katsuki. Because that would be admitting that he keeps staring at him, and that now more than ever, he pays attention to his every move.

Nope. He doesn't do that.

He hasn't realized at all these past two months that maybe, just maybe, they were more than just fuck buddies. Maybe they were actually friends.

Sure, Katsuki still yelled at him. They bickered, and Katsuki would get upset with him if they performed poorly during a training… but he did that with Eijiro, too. Eijiro is his friend. He also didn't stop to think 'no wonder Eijiro asked if it was OK to date Deku,' because it's not like they were constantly hanging out, or in the same room together all the time talking to and teasing each other. He doesn't think they maybe they were dating... and that maybe they were both just too afraid to admit it.

But if he is being honest.. he did think about it and notice those things. All of them. All the time. And he's sure Izuku did, too.

But again, none of that matters now, does it?

Soon, Katsuki figures Izuku will be dating Eijiro, and then he will be completely off limits. They will probably be hired to work for different agencies, and live in different apartment complexes. And soon enough, he will truly never have to see Izuku ever again... unless he wants to.

So until then, he will keep doing night runs so hard that he passes out, take showers in the morning so cold that it forces his body to forget having a dream about that stupid fluff of green hair.

Because that's all he can do… right?

At the end of class on Thursday, Aizawa announces the class rankings. With graduation being only two days away, everyone is anxious to know where they stand. Katsuki knows either he or Izuku will be ranked number one, so when the list is released, and he and Izuku are both right there at the top, he's not surprised.

But being told he and Izuku are the top two in their class is nothing like he thought it would be.

Two months ago, Izuku would have cried—not only for himself, but for Katsuki. The damn nerd probably would have put his hands on Katsuki's shoulders, bouncing up and down in his seat. Katsuki imagined that he might even try to hug him in front of everyone, too. Izuku probably would have told him how proud he was of him, how he knew Katsuki would be number one in their class. Katsuki would try to pretend it didn't make him feel weak in the knees to hear it, would put up a tough front in class.

He fantasized about the sex he thought they would have, too. Katsuki would fuck him so hard as Izuku moaned and cried, whining about how happy he was for him, how amazing he was.. He'd then flip them over, and enjoy Izuku bouncing on his cock. He had so many dirty thoughts of Izuku telling him how much he loved the number one hero's dick, begging him to be filled with his seed. He figured that they would have sex all night. He'd even planned to have Izuku fuck him as well, because of course Izuku would want to be deep inside the top hero in their class. He imagined Izuku being so turned on, coming so hard inside of him because he would be so oversensitized just thinking about Katsuki's success...

Yeah, he wants that. His half hard dick wants that, too. But shit. This is not the place to be having these thoughts.

Fuck! Now is not the time for this!

This is why you needed to break this off. You're too obsessed.

Stop thinking of that goddamn nerd, you pathetic loser.

You're disgusting, Katsuki. So fucking disgusting.

"Bakugou."

Aizawa's voice breaks him from his thoughts, bringing him back to reality and deflating his boner so quick it isn't even funny. This is the reality in which they were told they were the top two in their class, and Izuku couldn't even look at him—the reality where Izuku cried, but not for him, not for Katsuki. Izuku didn't even congratulate him.

But he guessed he deserved that.

"Bakugou!"

Katsuki must have spaced out again. Damnit.

"Are you listening to me at all? Clearly not. You and Midoriya need to stay after class today. Don't go anywhere. The principal needs to have a word with you two."

Katsuki clicks his tongue and looks straight ahead, acting as though he doesn't hear him.

"You hear me, Bakugou?"

Katsuki rolls his angry eyes over at Aizawa, realizing only now that people are starting to file out of the room.

"Yeah. I heard ya."

Aizawa sighs. "Try not to embarrass yourself in front of principle Nezu. But on second thought, why should I care? When do you ever listen to me anyway? In two days, you will no longer be my problem. Do whatever you want. It won't be my fault if you don't pay attention."

And with that, Aizawa shares what Katsuki could only imagine is a knowing look with Izuku behind him, and walks out.

Katsuki groans and folds his arms on his desk to rest his head on top of them.

What the hell did I do now?

Being left alone in this room with Izuku is giving him flashbacks to the last time it was just them in here. Instead of listening to the sounds of Izuku muttering and nervously bouncing his knees under the desk, the room was filled with sweet whimpers and the smacking of lips. Katsuki can't help but think of the deliciousness that was Izuku's kisses. Their mouths slotted together so perfectly—like two pieces of a puzzle.

Katsuki is thankfully unable to really get lost in his fantasy this time. The muttering behind him is getting louder. And nothing kills a boner more than Izuku's nervous muttering.

"Are we going to get yelled at? No of course not, why would we get yelled at—I didn't do anything wrong! But maybe he needs to talk to us about a special mission that we have to go on that will cause us to miss gradation? No that wouldn't make sense either. Aizawa would have stuck around if that was the case, right? So maybe it's about graduation? Or maybe he wants to congratulate us, but it's Thursday. Wouldn't it make more sense for him to congratulate us tomorrow? Or on Saturday? I hope I don't have to do anything special with Kacchan. I don't know if I'd be able to handle that. Seeing as how he hates me now, I'm sure he's going to rub it in my face later that he's number one. I wish he didn't hate me so much..."

And there it is again. The small sounds of Izuku sniffing, like he was earlier when he learned of the rankings. Fucking cry baby. Katsuki would have to be an idiot not to think that those tears were for him this time, though.

Izuku's whimpers and cries grow louder. And the pain Katsuki feelsin his chest and the pit of his stomach—hearing him cry, hearing Izuku say he thought Katsuki hates him—intensifies so much.

After a few more moments of listening to the sobs, Katsuki just can't take it anymore. This is too much. Way too much. He needs it to stop. Katsuki is going to break.

So he does the only thing he can think of that will be semi acceptable in their current circumstances to stop it: he yells at him. What he really wants to do is to turn around and wrap him in his arms, comfort him and quiet the sobs with kisses…. But no, instead, Katsuki is choosing to be angry. Because screaming at him will clearly make him stop crying. Especially since he knows without a doubt, that Izuku is crying over him.

"Oh my GOD! STOP IT! J-JUST STOP!"

Katsuki rakes his hands through his hair and practically banging his head on his desk. He doesn't dare turn around. He can't, can't face that stupid fucking crying face.

You're a coward, Katsuki. A huge fucking coward.

Izuku stops sniffling, and Katsuki hears what he can only assume is him shifting in his seat to bring his knees up to his chest. Damn nerd always gets into a fucking fetal position when he's upset.

Katsuki take his hands from his hair and lets out a shaky breath.

"It's gonna be fine. We're not fuckin' gettin' yelled at. Not gonna miss graduation either… and stop assumin' I'm gonna try to tease you for not being number one in class." Katsuki lets out another breath and says in a small voice he can't believe is his own. "O-or that I hate you. I don't hate you."

I could never hate you.

Against his better judgement, Katsuki turns in his chair to face Izuku head on. But the image he sees from the corner of his eye when circles around leads him to turn right back. He knows as soon as he locks eyes with Izuku—sees those tear stained cheeks and that quivering lip—he will start to think things he knows he shouldn't. Katsuki finds himself teetering on the edge of losing his shit, of getting up to kiss those goddamn tears from Izuku's face. Choosing neither of those actions, he turns back around and wipes his hands on his pants, taking a deep breath.

"Sh-shit Deku… get it together. Principal Nezu is gonna think I beat you or something."

Katsuki hears what he assumes again was Izuku adjusting in his seat. Hopefully, he is putting his knees down and wiping his face.

"S-sorry, Kacchan."

"S'fine. J-jus' stop cryin'." Katsuki's words came out in almost a whisper.

Please just stop. I can't take it. I'm too weak.

The rest of the time they wait for principle Nezu is spent in silence. Thankfully, he takes his sweet time arriving. It gives them both enough time to calm down. He's known Izuku long enough to be able to tell what a normal breathing pattern sounds like for him, so at least Katsuki can tell he's stopped crying. He's never been able to handle himself when Izuku cries. It always makes him feel all these gross and sticky emotions, really makes him want to make it stop.

It reminds him of when they were kids.

Young Katsuki wasn't as much as an asshole as teenage Katsuki. Whenever little Deku would hurt himself outside playing, he'd cry. Hell, he cried over everything: his ice cream melting, rain, not being able to skip rocks… Katsuki learned early on in those days that the fastest way to make him stop was to give him a kiss. It's what Auntie Inko would do whenever he hurt himself, or when he was upset. Before she'd put on an unnecessary All Might band-aid, she'd kiss either the top of his head or his cheek. And like magic, the crying would stop.

Katsuki was convinced for the longest time that, that was her quirk, that she had the power to make people stop crying. That was, however, until he tried the "magic trick" himself. He and Izuku were running through the woods to find their favorite bug hunting spot, and Izuku tripped and fell. Although there was no blood and likely wouldn't even be any bruises, the tears came.

Young Katsuki was tough and strong! He never cried! But even then, seeing Izuku cry made him feel weird, made him want to cry. So after running over to his friend to make sure he was okay, he tried it. Grabbing onto Izuku's hands, he pressed a kiss to the top of his head. It was then that he realized that it wasn't Auntie Inko's quirk, it was the kiss. Because almost instantly, the tears stopped.

"T-Thanks Kacchan.. B-but why d-did you do that?"

"Do what? It made the tears stop right? I don't like it when you cry Izuku, it wastes time! And makes me feel funny."

"Heh, yeah. S-sorry Kacchan."

Katsuki grabbed Izuku's hand and helped him up.

"Lets go Izuku! If all you needed was a kiss to stop crying, you should have told me! I'll kiss away all your tears!"

"Y-you promise?"

"Of course! When have a ever lied to you? Now let's go! We have bugs to catch."

Katsuki can't help the warm feeling that comes over him thinking about that stupid memory. Why he lets his mind go there now is beyond him. He didn't know it at the time, but he lied to him back then. He stopped kissing the tears away a long time ago. It makes him uncomfortable to realize that he's caused more than he's made go away.

Principal Nezu skitters into the room after what felt like thirty minutes of waiting. Both boys instantly stand up to greet him, but are quickly instructed to sit down. Principal Nezu scurries up and onto Aizawa's desk. All the damn warm and fuzzy thoughts Katsuki was feeling moments ago faded away, they are really not helping him get over Izuku. They're making it worse. So Katsuki's thankful for the distraction.

"Good afternoon, young heroes! Thank you both for taking the time to wait for me today."

Katsuki resists the urge to roll his eyes. It's not like they were given a choice.

"As you have been told by now, the two of you were ranked number one and number two in class! Congratulations!"

"Thank you Principal Nezu," both Katsuki and Izuku say in unison.

"As you may know, if you have ever watched a UA graduation ceremony, we have the number one hero course student make a speech that will be given in front of all students and their families—to the world really. The ceremony is live streamed!"

The principal clears his throat, and locks eyes with Katsuki.

"So now I am sure you are wondering then, Bakugou: why is Midoriya here if he was not ranked number one?!"

Katsuki huffs and shifts in his seat, remaining silent.

"Well, I am sure it will come to no surprise to the both of you that when it came time to ranking, it was very tough this year, both of you were neck and neck! And it came down to very minute details as to who would be ranked highest."

Principal Nezu sits down on the desk and looks up at the ceiling.

"Well, okay, not really, we use a points system, and well..." His gaze shifted back to Katsuki "You were only ahead of Midoriya by a half point!"

Katsuki hears Izuku gasp behind him. Is he really that surprised?

"So because of that..." Principal Nezu clears his throat again. "We want both of you to write a speech."

Katsuki is already picturing all the gears turning in Izuku's head about what kind of speech he is going to write. He can sense without even needing to look at him, how stressed out this is making him. They only have two days to come up with a graduation speech that will be heard by not only everyone in their class, but by potentially hundreds of people via the live stream.

Katsuki however, isn't nervous. He's got this whole speech thing in the bag and ready to go! In his head that is.

"Now Bakugou, I know you aren't the same kid who made a fool of himself at the sports festival, but I need you to take this seriously."

Katsuki again resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, sir. Of course I will. It will be the best damn speech UA has ever heard."

Katsuki starts to hear Izuku giggling behind him.

Damn nerd. At least he isn't crying anymore.

"And I expect you to keep yours brief Midoriya, we don't need your life story."

Katsuki snorts out a laugh. Izuku is definitely long winded.

"Oh, and I want to see the speeches you've written by the end of the day tomorrow! We're going to put them on a projector for easy reading."

Both boys groan. Katsuki isn't going to get any sleep tonight, and knowing Izuku, neither is he. There is a small part of him he allows to think about how they would have written these damn speeches together if they never got into that argument. Probably also would have fucked too—Izuku is likely all kinds of stressed out. Katsuki was so very tempted to see if they could meet, just for tonight. But he knows he can't, knows they can't. So as much as he wants to offer to blow him before he writes his speech, in the hopes that he will return the favor, he won't.

"Any questions before I let you guys go?"

Katsuki is so lost in thought that he almost doesn't hear him ask. Izuku is being oddly quiet. The damn nerd normally has so many questions.

"N-None for me! I p-promise I will make a great speech! A-and I'm sure Kacchan will, too. You can count on us, sir!"

Principal Nezu smiles and jumps off the desk.

"Good to hear it young heroes! Now be gone! You have speeches to write!"

Katsuki leaves that room so fast, faster than he's ever gone in his life. He almost feels guilty. He could feel how badly Izuku wanted to talk to him, but he couldn't. He needs to go punch things.

Later that night, Izuku finds himself in the common room in front of his laptop, nibbling on some crackers. He needed a change in scenery. Sitting in his room was giving him uncomfortable flashbacks. If they didn't have that stupid fight two months ago, he would have been getting his mind blown right now. Katsuki would've wanted to celebrate them being named the top two heroes in their class.

He feels terrible for not congratulating Katsuki for being ranked number one. It just would have been too painful. And he also knows, although he may not be showing it, that writing this speech is probably making Katsuki nervous. Katsuki always sought him out when he was stressed before.

Izuku can't believe the number of words he and Katsuki exchanged today. It was the first time in weeks they said something to each other that didn't have to do with a class activity. Izuku's just too hurt. If it wasn't for his mumbling earlier today, he would still have thought Katsuki hated him. Today was one of the only times his nervous muttering actually helped him. Although he knows he shouldn't think too much on it, that exchange today, those words...

"stop assumin' I'm gonna try to tease you for not being number one in class, or that I hate you, I don't hate you."

He can't help but think that means there still might be hope. For what? He has no idea. But maybe... maybe someday, they can be something again. Lovers, friends, rivals... anything would be better than the nothing that they are now.

Writing this speech is either going to make Katsuki actually hate him, or it will further confuse everything. Looking it over, he realized he wrote the name "Kacchan" in his speech probably more than he said the word "Hero." It's kind of embarrassing if he's being honest. But Katsuki played a big role in helping him get where he is today... it wouldn't feel right to leave him out.

This speech is stressing him out big time though. Leaning back in his chair, he stretches his arms out and releases a frustrated groan.

Maybe there's ice cream in the freezer.

While making his way over to the kitchen, he's pleasantly surprised to find Eijiro also looking in the freezer for a late night snack. Although tomorrow is their last day of class, and he is pretty sure they wouldn't be going over anything more than graduation practice and maybe some last second heroing tips… he is still surprised to see him. It's midnight, no one else is in the common room, and the group chat died about thirty minutes ago. It's nice to be able to see Eijiro's handsome face, though. Seeing Eijiro's smiling face always seems to make him feel better, his smile is so contagious.

Eijiro has been able to provide a lot of comfort these past two months. Although they haven't gone on any more dates, Eijiro still sits really close to him on the couch when they watch movies, and he lets Izuku lean on him when they are lounging.

"Hey, Eijiro." Eijiro looks up from the freezer a little frazzled. Like Izuku, he probably wasn't expecting to see anyone. Izuku gives him a half smile, nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Can't sleep?"

"Hiya Cutie." Izuku feels himself blush as Eijiro shuts the freezer. "Yeah.. I, ah, I'm nervous about graduation, I guess...There's also nothing sweet in the freezer. There used to be ice cream in there...but its not there anymore."

Izuku frowns. He was really hoping for something sweet. His sweet tooth is the worst when he's nervous.

"Ah, yeah... That sucks. I could really go for some ice cream right now."

Eijiro crosses his arms over himself and starts rubbing at his biceps. He's wearing a red muscle tank that really doesn't cover his body at all. Izuku can't help but stare a little at his chest and abs peeking through the sides of his shirt.

"So why are you up? You ah, working on your speech?"

Izuku looks over at his laptop, exhaling a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, did ah, Kacchan tell you?"

"Yeah. I tried to see if he wanted to play video games with me earlier, and he kicked me out. He was yelling something about how you guys need to write a..." Eijiro put his hands up to make air quotes "'Shitty fuckin' speech!' So I needed to find someone else to bother tonight." Eijiro started to scowl and is doing a rather funny impression of Katsuki, "Me and Shitty Deku will be busy all night doing that damn speech!"

Izuku snorts upon seeing Eijiro's ridiculous impression of Katsuki. It was really horrible, but also… surprisingly accurate? Both boys are soon loudly cracking up in the kitchen like a couple of dorks.

Eijiro claps his hand on Izuku's shoulder to stabilize himself, and Izuku takes a moment to really look at the joyful expression in front of him. Eijiro is so attractive—the way his whole face lights up when he laughs, and those lips... Mmm.

There is nothing he wants more in this moment than to reach over, grab his face, and pull him in for a kiss. Izuku has been so touch-starved and pent up these past two months. His facial expression falters for a moment thinking about it. He used to kiss Katsuki almost everyday when they were together. Even if they didn't meet up later that night to have sex, they always made out or kissed at least once during the day.

Maybe we were dating... I miss him so much… Why'd you let me go Kacchan?

Izuku suddenly feels the hand on his shoulder give him a light squeeze. Izuku must have zoned out, because when he looks over at Eijiro, he wears a concerned expression. He feels Eijiro's other hand reach over to wipe a tear from his eye, a gesture that should make him feel better... but instead, he feels worse.

The room suddenly spins, and his chest starts to hurt. He doesn't really know what's happening if he's being honest, but he knows he wants it to stop. The hand on his shoulder somehow makes its way to his back, and his face is pressed to Eijiro's chest. He feels like can't breathe. His knees give out, but he doesn't hit the ground. Instead, he feels himself lifted, Eijiro shifting his body on the floor so Izuku is sitting in his lap, and the arms around him are squeezing him tighter.

He knows in the back of his mind where he is. He is in the kitchen. Eijiro is holding him. He is OK. Logically, he knows: he isn't dying.

This is a panic attack.

His ears ring, and his stomach hurts. He soon realizes that the choked crying sounds reverberating through his skull are coming from his own mouth. He can faintly hear Eijiro, telling him he's going to get him some water, that he is going to move him. He's lifted by the strong arms around him and placed on the couch. He hugs his knees to his chest, wraps his arms around them. The couch feels like it's sucking him in, but at least the room seems to have stabilized.

Izuku feels a set of calloused hands on his face, pushing back his hair, followed by pair of soft lips kissing his forehead. Faint whispers are spoken sweetly into his ears.

"Y-you're o-okay, Izuku. P-please look at m-me. F-focus on m-my voice okay?"

After what seems like an eternity, the ringing in his ears, the tears, and the pain in his chest begin to fade. He's broken out in a cold sweat, but at least he no longer feels like he's dying. He notices that the lights are on, and he's finally able to focus on the puffy eyed boy in front him, sniffling and holding him to his chest.

Izuku lifts his arms to wrap them around Eijiro's waist, and takes in a deep breath.

"I'm s-sorry... Eijiro."

Eijiro hugs Izuku tighter and runs a hand through his hair.

"I-It's o-okay 'Z-Zuku I-I'm j-just glad you're b-back."

The arms around his waist move back to his shoulders, and Izuku's tears almost return upon seeing the watery eyes and flushed face of the boy in front of him. His small bout of panic must have really scared him. Eijiro looks to have been crying almost as hard as Izuku was. Quickly turning around, Eijiro grabs the water he'd brought for Izuku off the coffee table and also a few tissues for Izuku to dry his eyes, blow his nose. Izuku doesn't know what to do with the dirty tissues in his hands, but before he can figure it out, Eijiro takes them. Izuku slowly moves to sip his water.

"Lemme th-throw these out.. S-stay right here.. O-okay?"

Izuku weakly smiles over at Eijiro and nods his head.

Did I really just have a panic attack over Kacchan?

When Eijiro comes back, he has his own glass of water in his hands and starts gulping it down. Izuku can't help but feel guilty about what just happened--not that he was really able to control it--but seeing Eijiro look so distressed after he just had a panic attack made him feel bad. Eijiro was so worried, he probably never had to deal with something like this before, which is a good thing really, Izuku would have preferred not to have gone through that either.

But he did, and he's happy Eijiro was there to help.

Izuku used to have panic attacks all the time as a kid. He should have known that's what was happening. Katsuki always seemed to be there during the worst of his episodes though, so Izuku never really had to figure that out on his own.

Katsuki always knew how to make them go away, but he also knew how to cause them. He only caused one once though, and Izuku could tell after he did when they were in middle school, how freaked out he was. Although Izuku was sworn to secrecy about it, the day Katsuki sent him into a panic attack was also a day he helped him through one.

Izuku was being bullied behind the school by Katsuki and his friends to the point where he just collapsed against the wall, no longer able to fight back. He was a mess. One of boys kicked him in the side, and Katsuki started to laugh. Watching Katsuki laugh at his pain was what started it.

The area around him started to spin, breathing labored as he clutched his chest. Before he completely blacked out, he remembers the faint look of fear in Katsuki's eyes as his friends were leaving. He still isn't too sure how Katsuki got his friends to leave. He doesn't know how no one noticed when Katsuki took Izuku into his arms and started to rock him back and forth, to apologize over and over. When he finally came to, Izuku remembers being pressed tightly up against Katsuki's chest, and tears streaming down the taller boys cheeks.

But as soon as Katsuki saw that he was no longer panicking, he let go. He wiped his eyes and helped them get up. He was told to never to speak of that day to anyone. Katsuki never let his friends physically hurt him after that.

Thankfully, the panic attacks fizzled out after middle school altogether. Once he met All Might, and was once again given hope for his future, they had stopped.

"I-Izuku?"

Eijiro is kneeling in front of him, and looking at him again with that concerned face. He must have spaced out again.

"You okay? Y-you had me so worried.. D-does this happen often?"

Izuku puts down his glass of water and grabs Eijiro's hands from their resting place on Izuku's knees.

"Yeah, I'm good. S-sorry about that. I ah, guess I'm just a little stressed out is all. This speech... It's um..." Izuku begins rubbing circles into the back of Eijiro's hands, he notices the red head start to calm down a little and his eyes dart down to look at their hands in Izuku's lap. A small flush runs over his face..

"It's just bringing up a lot of memories and thoughts from my past up that have been hard to think about… that's all."

He stops his circles to admire how closely Eijiro is listening, leaning in with soft eyes, nodding as though in understanding. He seems at least semi satisfied with that answer, and moves to sit down cross legged on the couch close by. Izuku shifts to face him, near enough for their knees to touch.

"Yeah? You sure? You and Kat have been so off lately… y-you don't have to talk about it... But, I'm worried about you."

Izuku forces himself to show his most convincing smile. He doesn't really want to get into it right now. So hopefully, a bright enough smile will lessen the worry in Eijiro's eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I ah, think I'm done with my speech anyway. I should go to bed."

Eijiro seems more convinced this time and grabs Izuku's hands back, giving them a light squeeze.

"Yeah... me, too. I should go to sleep."

Izuku gets up to start grabbing his things, and turns toward Eijiro before walking to the elevator.

"Walk me to my room?"

Eijiro stands up from the couch and takes Izuku's free hand to walk with him to the elevator. Once they get to the second floor, and to Izuku's room, Izuku opens his door to put his things inside.

"You um.. Wanna come in?"

Eijiro's face flushes an adorable shade of pink at Izuku's forward question. It's not like he wants him to stay the night, or to fool around, but if that ends up happening, with the day he's had, he won't stop it.

"Ah, sure.. I can, ah help you put your stuff inside?"

Izuku smiles and opens the door. He doesn't need help putting his stuff on his desk, and Eijiro isn't even holding anything that he needs to put down. Izuku resists the urge to laugh. The redhead must be nervous.

Once he put his stuff down, he turns towards Eijiro and closes the distance between them. He wraps his arms around his waist and hugs him close. Eijiro takes a second to return the embrace, moving one of his hands to run through Izuku's hair.

"I ah, just wanted to thank you again, Eijiro. You're so good to me."

Izuku lifts his head from Eijiro's chest and stands up on his tiptoes to press a sweet kiss to his cheek. As soon as he moves away, the dusting of pink on Eijiro's face becomes a darkening red, creeping up to his ears. Izuku moves to fully pull away and turns around to open the door. Poor Eijiro is left in a state of shock in the middle of his room.

The flutter in his chest, and the small bit of excitement in his groin after kissing Eijiro feels a little dangerous.

"You should um, probably go... If you stay here any longer, I might do something we're not quite ready for."

Eijiro nervously laughs and turns to walk towards the door.

"Yeah, you're uh.. Probably right."

Before he exits, Eijiro stops to lock eyes one more time with Izuku.

"You um, wanna go on another date with me tomorrow night? To ah, get your mind off things? We can ah.. get the ice cream you wanted earlier?"

I really do need a distraction. And it's been two months since we've been out on a date. It's about time that I tried to move on isnt it? This is what Kacchan wanted after all... Right?

A bright and genuine smile spreads across Izuku's face.

"Yeah. I'd love to go on a date with you."

Eijiro's face lights up in excitement.

"C-cool.. Good, I'll ah, come by at um... At 7? We can go after dinner! Just ah, text me when you're done eating... Kay?"

Izuku smiles and reaches up to give Eijiro another chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Okay. It's a date."

And with that, Izuku watches Eijiro enter the elevator and waves at him as the doors shut.

Even though it's almost one am, and he needs to be up in less than eight hours, he has a feeling he's going to get some of the best sleep he's gotten all week.