Chapter Twelve

The stagecoach ride was much like the day before, different towns, different buildings, but the quiet between Adam and Aubrey had begun to change to something more and more uncomfortable. They stopped at Sportsman's Hall in Pollock Pines to change horses, then for lunch in Placerville. They changed horses again in Clarksville, and arrived in Sacramento just before dark where they took rooms at the Orleans Hotel.

After dinner, Adam walked Aubrey to her room, and when she stepped into him to invite him in, he took her hands in his.

"Stay, please," she said. "I won't see you for some time once we get to San Francisco."

Though Adam smiled, it was a sad smile. "No. And I won't be staying in San Francisco. I'm heading home as soon as I see you to the Parker House."

Her mouth moved, but she couldn't find the words to say anything.

"Aubrey, I love you, but…" He shook his head. "What we each want is worlds apart."

"Adam, the cards…they've fed me and clothed me. They're all I know."

Moving his hands to her arms, Adam furrowed his brow. "Aubrey, you talk about the cards like they're alive, like they have breath and feelings…like you owe them something. They can't care about you…they can't love you." Stepping away, he said, "I want a life with you, but I'm not going to share you with a deck of cards."

She back away, stunned at the finality of his last words. "You don't have to see me to San Francisco. I know my way," she said.

"I'm not taking a chance McCovey will find you before you're back at the Parker House. You'll be safe there."

By now, she had backed through the open door of her hotel room. Without saying anything, she slowly closed the door, leaving Adam standing in the hall.

With his head bowed, he reached up to touch the door, but instead, let his hand drop to his side. He closed his eyes, let a breath out through his mouth, then took a step back and turned toward his own room. He didn't sleep that night, but rather lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. He felt the familiar heartache he'd felt every time love had slipped away. But he had to accept that she couldn't choose him over the cards, and that meant together they could never be truly happy.

The next morning when Adam knocked on her door, she didn't answer. He knocked again, and called her name, and when there was still no answer, he tried the door. It opened to a room that looked as if it hadn't been used. Rushing down the stairs with his valise, he stopped at the front desk. "Have you seen Miss Hoyle this morning?"

"Miss Hoyle left last night," answered the clerk. "She caught a late steamer to San Francisco." Turning, he pulled an envelope out of the key box. "She left this for you."

"Thank you," Adam said as he took the envelope from the clerk. He went to a chair and set his valise on the floor next to him. Removing the letter from the envelope, he unfolded it, took a deep breath and began to read.

My Dearest Adam,

Part of me was so glad you found me at the Sazerac. The bigger part of me knew I couldn't stay. Though I believe love exists between us, our separate pasts and our current stations forbid it.

I know I prolonged my time with you, if only for a night, and I won't apologize. I will carry the love you've shown me in my heart forever.

Please don't follow me to San Francisco. If you believe McCovey is looking for me in Virginia City, he's not in San Francisco, and I can safely get back to the Parker House on my own. Go home, Adam, to your family where you belong. The Parker House is beneath you, but it is where I belong.

I wish you a remarkable life filled with the love and happiness of a woman who deserves you.

You have my love forever.

Aubrey

"Mr. Cartwright, your ship will be leaving in ten minutes," said the clerk, standing over Adam.

Adam continued to stare at the note. "Let it go. I'm going in the other direction." He stood and walked into the saloon at the back of the hotel. At the bar, he ordered a whiskey and sipped it as he reread her letter, unsure of whether he should let her go without a fight. Setting his glass down hard on the bar, he thought about the possibility of McCovey finding out they were on their way to San Francisco. If something happened to her before she arrived at the Parker House, he'd live with the guilt the rest of his life. Turning the glass up, he swallowed the rest of his whiskey, and went in search of a livery and a grocery. Within an hour, he was on his way to San Francisco.

Adam rode fast into the livery at Vacaville. He'd run this horse so hard, there were bands of white froth on his chest and hind quarters.

The man at the livery came out and shook his head. "Let me guess. You need another horse." Touching the horse's chest, he said, "But I'm not gonna give you a half cent for this one. And based on his condition, I'm not sure I wanna give you another." His eyes glared under furrowed brows.

Adam bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, giving the man a serious look. "I'm going after a woman."

The livery man gave him a sideways glance. "Why?"

Answering the man's sideways glance with one of his own, Adam countered, "Because she's worth it."

After a thoughtful nod, the livery man said, "I've got one for you. He's fast. He's strong, and he'll take you most of the way. If you give 'im a rest or two he'll take you all the way there. But he ain't cheap."

"I tell you what," said Adam as he opened his wallet. "I'll lease him from you for two hundred and fifty dollars, and I'll make sure he gets back to you."

"Any why can I trust you?"

"I'll throw in a Ponderosa steer."

"And just how are you gonna manage that…unless your name is Cartwright," the livery man said with narrowed eyes.

Adam raised his brows and nodded.

"Same question," said the livery man. When Adam inhaled and flared his nostrils, the man laughed. "Tell me the name of your two brothers in the order from oldest to youngest and the name of your cook." He laughed again when Adam's mouth opened and his nose wrinkled. "If you're really a Cartwright, I know your Pa."

Now Adam laughed. "I'm the oldest. Adam," he said, extending his hand, and while he answered the question, they shook.

"I don't want your money, Adam. Take the horse. Just get him back to me."

"Thank you, sir. Your name?"

"William Fedder."

Adam didn't recognize the name, but shook the man's hand heartily. He moved his saddle from one horse to the other, and as he tightened the cinch, the livery man said, "And don't forget the steer. I haven't had a good Ponderosa steak in quite some time."

"I'll make sure the beef is delivered," said Adam as he tipped his hat and rode away.

When he arrived in San Francisco, he rode straight to the Parker House, and when he dismounted, he flipped the reins over a hitching post and hurried inside, stopping at the bar. "Has Aubrey arrived?"

"Aubrey!" said the bartender, confused. "Now, Mr. Cartwright, you know she's not here."

"Where's Hayden?" Adam barked.

"I'm right here," came a voice from behind him.

Adam spun around. "Have you seen Aubrey?"

"Cartwright, you're not making much sense," replied Bret. "You know I sent her away."

"She left Sacramento on a steamer last night. She should have been here hours ago," said Adam.