12

12: Queen of Hearts

"I have a question," Lexaeus asked the bedridden Zexion.

"Yeah?"

"If you were in love with Marluxia this whole time, how come you kept telling me he was a danger to us all that had to be destroyed?"

Zexion smiled. "Because I knew that if you knew the truth, you'd rat me out."

"That is unfortunately true."


Luxord was simply taking a walk, minding his own business, when he tripped over something. He looked at what had caught his foot. It was a rabbit hole.

"Rabbits," he muttered angrily. However…something about the hole seemed familiar…what had he once heard about a rabbit hole that was important?

Luxord strode back to the crowd. "Any news?"

"No," said Sora.

Zexion sat right up in bed. "I smell something. Something horrible."

Axel pointed to Myed, whose only defense was "HEY!"

"Not THAT kind of horrible," Zexion clarified. "Something horrible is about to attack us."

Sora turned his head to the West…and he saw it coming.

"It's…it's another army of Heartless!"

"More Darksides?" Donald asked.

"No," said Sora. "Trickmasters."

As the Trickmasters got closer, Goofy asked, "Should we run?"

"Can't…" Mickey pointed. The Trickmasters weren't just coming from the West. They came from the East, the North, the South too…

"Oh, snap," Riku muttered.

"We're surrounded!" cried Minnie. She buried her face in her hands.

"We better be ready for another fight," said Mulan, and weapons were drawn.

"I can't WAIT to show these Trickmasters what we're made of," said Xigbar.

Luxord suddenly remembered what it was that was so special about rabbit holes. A half-baked idea popped into his head.

He rushed off to the hole, which was still inside the circle made by the Trickmasters.

No one seemed to notice that Luxord was gone.

At last, the Trickmasters completely surrounded the resistance. A black-cloaked member of the Neo-Organization walked around to stand inside the circle with the victims.

"Hello," said Redd Heart, the Poisonous Rose. She drew a sword with one hand and a black, twisted scepter with the other. "I hope you're prepared."

"We are," said Zexion, flinging back the blanket and leaping out of bed.

Merlin started to chide him, but Zexion flung his hand in front of the wizard's face. "I. Am. Fine."

"Then let us begin," said Redd.


Luxord finally stopped falling and hit the ground of Wonderland. It was exactly as he remembered it from the book he had read. He wandered about until he came to a courtyard that housed exactly what he was looking for: a plump woman with a tiny crown and several life-size anthropomorphic cards.

"Excuse me, madam," Luxord addressed the Queen of Hearts.

"What do you want?" the Queen snapped.

"Madam, my friends and I are in a spot of trouble, and I believe you have what could be the answer to our problem."

"And that would be?"

Luxord called up his own cards, making them dance about and fly through the air like giant razors. When he recalled them into his hand, the card soldiers applauded.

"That is one of my many powers," said Luxord. "However, if you were to lend me your military forces, imagine what we could do together!"

The card soldiers immediately began whispering to each other. How exotic, to become part of the dancing deck of this master of sleight!

"Hmmmm," said the Queen. "I suppose you could borrow my army…but you shall have to win them from me!"

Luxord smirked. With his time powers, he could win anything.

"What's the game?" he asked.

The queen smirked. "Croquet."


In a few minutes, Luxord was beginning to think it wouldn't be as easy as he thought. The arches of the course were the cards themselves, and they didn't seem to be opposed to moving in order to help the queen cheat.

When Luxord's first turn came, he swung the mallet back—

Only to have the mallet lean forward and start nibbling his ear.

"Madam," he pointed out," this is a flamingo."

"Of COURSE it's a flamingo!" the Queen snapped. "What do you think I would play croquet with? IGUANAS?"

"I guess not." Luxord set up for the swing once more. (Imagine the frustration he would have felt if he had known the true identity of the ball.) At just the right moment, before the flamingo's head connected with the "ball", time froze for everyone but Luxord. He picked up the ball and rolled it through three hoops. Then time unfroze.

"What?" cried the Queen. "Where's the ball?"

"It's over here!" cried a soldier.

"How did it get over there?" the Queen bellowed.

"Well, the only way it could have done that was to go through those three hoops," Luxord pointed out.

"You have a point," said the Queen. She drew back her own "mallet" and smacked the ball so it went through FOUR hoops.

Luxord sighed. He had just been given a true challenge.


At last, the score was tallied. The winner had achieved victory by one point.

That victor was Luxord.

He let out a sigh of relief. For a minute, he had thought the Queen's cheating skills would surpass his own.

"Impossible!" the Queen screeched.

"I beg to differ," said Luxord.

"Fine," the Queen huffed. "Take them. They never do a decent job of painting my roses red anyway."

"YOU SAID YOU WANTED THEM WHITE," a soldier growled.

Luxord put out his hand. All fifty-two card soldiers shrunk to a convenient size and became part of his deck.

The Gambler turned to leave via the rabbit hole, but the White Rabbit came charging from nowhere, yelling, "Wait, wait! You have beaten the Queen at a croquet match! That means—"

"Frankly, I do not care," said Luxord, ignoring the rabbit and making his way to the rabbit hole.


"LUXORD!" Axel screamed. "Where have you BEEN!"

"Getting us help," Luxord explained. He surveyed the situation: everyone was locked in battle against a Trickmaster, except for Sora, who was grappling against a woman with a red bramble of hair.

"Wait a minute," said Luxord. "Didn't I just SEE that woman…" But he shook his head, because he obviously hadn't.

All of the party was surprised to see Luxord suddenly appear in the midst of the brawl. He began to deal out his customary cards…but they WEREN'T his customary cards. These cards stood on two feet and rushed to attack the Trickmasters with battle-axes.

"Card soldiers!" Sora cried, catching the faintest glimpses of the assistance.

In no time, the card soldiers had taken down the Trickmasters. Redd was all that remained.

Sora slashed at her stomach, and she doubled over, clutching it. He grasped her shoulder, throwing her down. He placed his foot on her chest and set the Keyblade against her neck.

"Finish her off, Sora!" Axel encouraged.

All Sora could see, however, was the fear in Redd's eyes. She wasn't just a villain anymore to him, not after his previous thoughts. She was alive, she was a person, and somewhere inside of her beat a heart…

He remembered Yen Sid telling him that everyone's hearts were connected.

Sora removed the blade from Redd's neck.

"WHAT?" everyone in the crowd cried.

Redd laughed cruelly and portalled away.

"What did you do THAT for?" Marluxia yelled.

"Don't," said Riku. He had noticed that Sora was crying.

"Sora?" Kairi said, moving closer to him. Sora looked up at her with his moist eyes. She was just a red-haired silhouette to him through the tears.

She swept him into an embrace. "You'll figure out the right thing, Sora. I know it. I'm proud of you for giving it a second thought."

Sora returned her embrace, glad to have her company.

Luxord changed the subject. "I'm sure I saw that woman before," he claimed. "In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that the two were completely different in looks and demeanor, I'd swear that she and the Queen of Hearts were the same person!"

"Perhaps," said Mickey, "she was a parallel-dimension version of the Queen. Sometimes many different dimensions of the same world exist."

"As though my head wasn't already spinning from this whole multiverse concept," Sparrow grumped.

"Speaking of the Queen," said a card soldier, "Luxord, we have business to attend to."

The Two of Spades grabbed Luxord's right arm and the Seven of Diamonds grasped his left. They marched him back toward the rabbit hole.

"What?" Luxord cried. "Where are you taking me?"

After the three were out of earshot, Sora saw one of the card soldiers say something to Luxord, who then gave a very audible "NOOOOOOOO!"

"Come on!" said Sora. "Let's go!"

He led the grand party to the rabbit hole.


Somehow they all slipped through the rabbit hole without any trouble. They followed Sora's lead toward the courtyard where several bushes sporting red roses (which looked sloppily painted) grew.

The first person Sora encountered was the Queen of Hearts…but she was different. She no longer wore her tiny gold crown, and was clad in a plain brown dress. Stranger yet, she was painting the roses gold.

"What's going on?" Sora asked the Queen.

"I was beaten at croquet," the Queen explained.

"Okaaaaay…" Sora wasn't sure what that had to do with anything.

"Why did I ever make that silly decree?" the Queen complained.

"What decree?" Donald asked.

"Many years ago," said the Queen, "I became so sure of my own superior croquet abilities that I wrote a decree saying that the first person to beat me at croquet would become the new Queen of Hearts."

"So that's what happened to Luxord," said Sora. "He's the new King of Hearts."

"No," grumped the Queen. "Did I say King? No! I was very specific! QUEEN."

Sora's face widened first into an expression of shock, then into a gigantic grin. "Are…you…serious?"

"Yes!" said the ex-Queen. "He ordered me to paint these roses gold for him. He said it was the least I could do to make up for the loss of his…dignity."

"Where is he now?" Sora asked, fighting off laughs.

The ex-Queen pointed. "That way."

Sora took off running, and the rest followed.

"OH…MY…"

Sora couldn't finish the statement. He burst out into laughter.

The members of the resistance were standing before the throne of the new Queen of Hearts: Luxord, decked out in the old Queen's gown, which had been tailored to fit him. Her heeled shoes dangled from his feet, her tiny crown perched on his blond head, and his face was adorned with a terrifying scowl.

"It is…NOT…funny," he hissed.

"Oh, I beg to disagree," said Axel.

Myed was rolling on the grass laughing, looking very much as though he had ingested something caffeinated.

"It hardly seems fair," said Kairi. "I mean, he's one of the Nobodies that looked worst in a dress."

The Nobodies all rounded on her. "What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"Well," said Kairi, "Back when I was Naminé, I was curious one day. So I drew you all in dresses."

"You drew ME in a DRESS?" Larxene screeched.

"All of you," said Kairi.

"So who looked the best?" Axel asked. "I just gotta know."

"It was me, wasn't it?" asked Xigbar, prompting a weird stare from Axel.

"Actually," said Kairi, "you looked pretty horrible."

Xigbar snapped his fingers in disappointment.

"Let me guess," said Xaldin. "The one who looked best was either Demyx or Zexion."

"They looked pretty good," said Kairi, "but they weren't the BEST."

"Then who was?" Axel was practically drooling.

"Saïx."

"WHAT?" The Diviner looked as though he no longer needed the moon to go berserk.

"Seriously," said Luxord, "can one of you challenge me to a game of croquet and get me out of this mess? PLEASE? I'll throw the match! This is not my color!"

"Oh, it's no longer croquet at which your challenger must beat you to become Queen," said the White Rabbit. "The next queen must surpass your skills at badminton!"

"Does NOTHING make sense in this world?" Luxord yelled angrily.

The White Rabbit shrugged. "Pretty much."

"So," said Luxord, "who's up for a game of badminton?"

"Not me," said Axel, holding up his hands in protest.

"Good," said Kairi. "You looked worst of ALL in the dress."

"Hey!"

The others all looked at each other and scraped their feet nervously on the ground.

Then, from within the crowd, a voice: "I'll do it."

It was Kairi.

"What are you—" Sora started to ask.

"Shh," she said. "I think…I think I was meant to do this."

"All right," sighed Luxord. "Just hurry it up. The sooner I get back into men's clothes, the better!"


The Eight of Hearts turned himself sideways to become the badminton net.

"And I thought I was the only VIII of hearts," said Axel.

"Oh, stop acting like you're so hot," Myed huffed.

"Well, he is a fire elemental…it follows that he should be 'hot'," Merlin pointed out.

"I've heard that pun even more than the Nobody pun," Axel complained.

"Excuse me?" Kairi said to the card soldier who had just handed her a racquet. "This is a manta ray."

"Get used to it," said Luxord, shaking out his foot which was sore from the heels. "I'll bet you anything the birdie is a real bird."

The birdie actually turned out to be a snail.

"Well, that follows absolutely NO pattern of logic," Luxord sighed.

A whistle was blown, and the game began. Luxord tossed the snail up in the air, and used the ray to slap it toward Kairi. The ray, however, flapped its fins in protest, and the snail stopped short of the net.

"Drat!" Luxord cried.

"Rays are better for surfing than croquet," said Myed.

Marluxia fixed him in an odd glare. "How do you KNOW that?"

The match picked up speed as the contestants became used to their unconventional racquets. Luxord was challenged by his own pride…it was his second nature to cheat at games, and he had to keep himself under extreme self-control to avoid falling back into the habit. He just reminded himself to think of the DRESS.

At last, Kairi made the final serve, which Luxord simply let drop to the ground.

"She has won!" yelled the Ten of Clubs.

Kairi and Luxord were immediately escorted away.

When they returned, Kairi was wearing the retailored dress, shoes, and crown while Luxord donned his previous clothes.

"Much better," Luxord sighed.

"We now pronounce thee Kairi, Queen of Hearts!" the cards chorused.

Finally Sora understood what had just taken place. Within minutes, Kairi had gone from the Princess of Heart…

To the Queen.

"I'm sorry," said Kairi, "but I have to go somewhere now. I have a quest to finish. I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise!"

As she walked off the badminton field, the cards clapped and cheered for her.

"Wait," said Sora. "Does this mean when this is over, you have to stay here?"

"No," said Mickey. "She is now the true Queen of Heart. The Queen has no true home; instead, she must travel between the worlds, defending the hearts of many. Unfortunately, Sora, this means that when she comes of age at eighteen, she must leave the Destiny Islands and forsake them as her home."

"That's okay," said Sora. "Our destinies are tied together. Besides, it seems like traveling between the worlds is what my life is pretty much about anyway. I think we'll cross paths easily."


Xehanort pounded on the door of the quarters of the One Winged Angel. "Sephiroth!" he cried. "Sephiroth, open this door!"

"No" was the answer from within.

"Sephiroth, I specifically sent YOU the message asking YOU to lead the Trickmaster assault on the resistance! Had you been there, Sora would be dead by now! Why did you hand the job over to Redd?"

"Because I cannot show my face," said Sephiroth, "and will not kill Sora…which, rest assured, I WILL do eventually…until I am fit to leave the room!"

"How can you POSSIBLY be unfit to leave the room?" Xehanort performed a quick Alohomora on the door and barged into the room to come face-to-face with the stitched-up Sephiroth.

"Ew," Xehanort squeaked involuntarily.

"I know!" Sephiroth screamed.

"Can you not rebuild yourself from more of Jenova's cells?" Xehanort asked.

"I could," said Sephiroth, "if I hadn't torn Jenova to pieces."

Xehanort was beginning to think that Sephiroth was a stupider man than he had originally imagined.

"I should have known better than to do it," said Sephiroth. "This isn't the only consequence it brought me. You see, Jenova was cast from her own world by her mother Micaiah, the Silver-Haired Maiden of Miracles, because of her evil nature. Unfortunately, once Jenova was dead, Micaiah decided that 'Jenny' was still her darling daughter and came after me for revenge."

"Micaiah…" Xehanort pondered the name. "Could you not use some of her blood instead? She was a powerful mage."

"How do you know that? Never mind. While Micaiah's blood would have worked, I cannot use it, for I killed her as well when she came after me, and I killed her husband Sothe when he came to avenge Micaiah."

"If Micaiah had another relative," said Xehanort, "one you knew nothing about, would you be able to use that blood to rebuild your skin?"

"Perhaps…" Sephiroth thought out loud. "If it was a direct descendant…"

"How lucky you are." Xehanort smiled.

"Why am I so lucky?"

"Because Sora seems to have amongst his coterie the only son of Micaiah."


A/N: "Fiery Fantasies" carries more detail on Jenova and Micaiah; "Crushed" tells the tale of Zexion and Marluxia's forbidden romance.