TWELVE
Finally they had a moment together. Meredith stood in the cafeteria line up ahead of Cristina; got her dinner and sat down. She was hungry and ate steadily and quickly until Cristina sat down. It had been one of those endless days where they had passed each other but didn't have a moment to sit, stand or talk. Meredith smiled to herself, it was nice to see Cristina back at work after weeks away, a lot had happened at the hospital and personally, they had a lot to discuss. She took a back table so they could keep to themselves; luckily Izzy and the others were still working. Cristina sat down.
"Good honeymoon?" Meredith swallowed.
"Great vacation." Cristina smiled sticking her fork in a slice of chicken. She waved it in front of her face. "I now have a husband, and I must say it is a very nice feeling. I am also part of a family. A large red headed family. It's good." She nodded.
Meredith nodded confirming the feeling she felt when she joined the Shepherds. She spooned rice grains into her mouth and listened as Cristina described her time away with Owen, and the discoveries she'd made about him as a person, and them as a couple. When Cristina finished Meredith paused a moment and said. "So…?"
Cristina pushed carrot slices into her mouth. "So… what?"
"So am I going to be an aunt, or am I going to be your person picking you up after the 'thing'?"
Meredith felt she needed to get straight to the point, they didn't have a lot of time and she needed to know what was happening. Ever since Cristina had dropped the 'I'm pregnant' bombshell on her, she hadn't heard anything more. They were supposed to confer about it but right on the heels of the wedding that hadn't happened.
That was over two weeks ago and in that time Cristina had moved in with Owen, had gotten married to Owen, had honeymooned with Owen and was now back at work with Owen. She was walking the wards with a contented smile on her face, and had been in a surgery with her hands in a body and Meredith was no wiser, had no clues as to what was going on.
"What have you decided?" She pursued.
Cristina fed more carrots into her mouth and while chewing said. "I'm having a termination."
Meredith was surprised, but not really. She waited to hear more, but that was all Cristina said until she had finished eating. Then resting her fork on her plate and unscrewing her bottle of orange juice, Cristina took a long drink. She looked at Meredith and said, "I'm having a termination on Thursday." She tightened the top on her juice bottle.
Thursday? It was Tuesday now. Meredith kind of wondered why Cristina hadn't said anything before then, but didn't verbalize her thought, instead she supposed, "Owen's going with you then?"
Cristina coughed. "You're coming with me aren't you?" She wasn't doing this with Owen.
"He's okay with that?" Meredith was surprised and confused.
"Okay with what?"
"With me going with you, and not him?" Meredith explained.
"I'm not doing this with Owen, Meredith!" Cristina's surprised tone and surprised look surprised Meredith even more.
"But he knows about it?"
"Knows? No he doesn't know. "
"But… you've just spent two weeks away with him. And he's your husband." Meredith responded in surprise. "What did you talk about on that honeymoon?"
"We didn't talk about this. We were too busy doing other things…You know..."
There wasn't a joke in this and Cristina wasn't trying to convey one. Meredith tried to understand as well as restrain her disbelief but she couldn't. Cristina turned in her chair toward Meredith to make herself clear. "Meredith, nothing's changed. I don't want to have this baby. I thought about it, I really did. I even changed my mind. But I know I don't want to have a baby, not right now. It might not be politically correct but I am not telling 'my husband'. I thought about it but telling Owen will only complicate things, and I don't need complicated, I need this to happen."
"But you will tell him at some point?" Meredith wanted to believe that. "I thought you were going to tell him."
Cristina sounded worryingly casual and Meredith pushed her for an explanation until Cristina shared what she really felt; which was disloyal, deceitful, pained, frustrated and confused. Things happened so fast Cristina admitted. She found out she was pregnant right before her wedding. When she walked into Owens office to tell him she couldn't, he was high on Teddy and wedding buzz. After the wedding he was on honeymoon buzz. They both were and she didn't want to affect that. So she'd decided to say nothing, and just do something.
Cristina leant forward in her chair. "We've been through a lot Mer, Owen and I. This would just not be right for me, not right now. I know this is a big ask. I know what you're saying, I know what you're asking me to do Meredith, but it needs to be this way. I just need to do this on my own, and right now I'm asking you to be there for me. Be there to pick me up from the clinic on Thursday ok. I'm asking you to hold back your judgment a little while longer and just support me… Please?"
Meredith thought for a while. "Okay," Meredith supported with an extraordinarily long sigh. "Okay. What time on Thursday?"
