Muddling Through

A/N: Breaking my usual rule of keeping notes until the end to explain something about the last chapter. I got one review and several PM's asking why I had Harry making blind jokes. I just want to say that I was not making fun of blind persons – I have a few friends who are blind in one way or another – but simply reflecting Harry's frustration. It was his way of venting anger like people losing their lower limbs joking how they got legless and never touched a drop, or people saying that they are 'armless and no danger. No offence was intended towards anybody, but you don't have to read the fic if you were. Now then, onto the story…

"Hermione, I can dress myself!" Harry snapped.

"Well, I…"

"Sorry, Mione" Harry apologised to her. "I just hate being so useless" and the girl understood completely.

"I know how you feel. It was the same when I had to be in hospital when I broke my leg" she said. "When we came here in our first year, I asked Madam Pomfrey if she could do anything for it – I walked with a slight limp, you know"

"I had noticed, but I was too polite to ask about it" Harry said. "So off to breakfast and then to lessons" he shook his head and muttered.

"Oh none of that for you, Harry" Hermione said.

"What do you mean?" Harry said, puzzled at the alarmed tone he had heard in his girlfriend's voice

"Well, it is a little risky for you to be using magic when you don't have any sight" she said.

"Mione, I am only blind. That doesn't make me into some sort of magical cripple" Harry protested.

"Oh well of course not" Hermione saw the look on Harry's face and quickly changed what she was going to say. "But please be reasonable" she begged him. "Walking in the hall was tiring for you, and you've only just started walking around again on your own. Why not take it easy for a few more days? Maybe you could put your mind to some other thing" she said in what she hoped was a nice tone.

"What?" Harry snorted as he fumbled around for his jumper. "Learn the piano and become the white Ray Charles? Look, Mione, when I was at St Mungo's, I overheard them talking about me. They thought I was asleep, but I liked to trick them. None of the Healers think that I will ever regain my sight" he found his jumper and tried to put it on himself.

"Let me help" Hermione moved to his side. "Maybe there is something in the magical world that can give you new eyes" but Harry sighed.

"Nothing at all – I already asked. I wish I could play Quidditch or just ride my broom, but I can't because of the blindness" he said.

"Surely it isn't that bad" Hermione said, taking his hand and helping him to the door.

"Okay, Mione, you like books right?" Harry began, and Hermione nodded. "How would you feel if you suddenly became blind, or perhaps suffered a brain injury and lost the ability to understand written words? You'd be devastated by the loss of one of your favourite activities right" he searched in front of him and got the door handle and pulled it open.

"I guess so" Hermione said quietly, helping Harry to get down the stairs. "Maybe they could fit you with something that Moody has" but knew the answer already.

"That only works because his optic nerve was still slightly intact" Harry was sounding depressed by the minute. "I have to face up to the fact that I might be blind for the rest of my life, and do you know what, Hermione?" but Hermione shook her head – forgetting for a moment that Harry couldn't see her doing so. "It scares me, Mione, it really, really scares me. If they can't do anything, then I might as well just pack it all in" and Hermione became alarmed by the chill in his last statement.

"I'm sure that they can find you something to help what you are going through" she said, turning the corner to head towards the hall doors.

"Oh, I'm sure of it" Harry mocked her. "They can paint my wand white and turn Dobby into a Seeing Elf"

"That would please him" Hermione said.

"Aye, I guess it would" Harry smiled faintly. "Mione, I'm sorry for snapping at you a minute ago, but I'm frustrated that I can't even do the most simple of tasks. Still, got a laugh last night" he added, the smile becoming much more normal.

"How?"

"I wanted the toilet, so I asked Dobby to take me to the nearest one" Harry said.

"And that was the cause of your laughter?" Hermione wondered if her boyfriend was alright.

"No" Harry chuckled, "But my sudden appearance gave Susan Bones one hell of a shock" and the pair of them laughed at the scene.

"Now that I would like to have seen" Hermione giggled.

"I'll let you see the memory later" Harry promised her. "I hope Susan is alright though. She left that cubicle so quickly, she might well have got her knickers in a real twist!" he added. Even though he was blind, and therefore unable to see Susan, Dobby had kindly allowed him to copy the memory into a Pensieve and view it in his own mind. He had to send for Professor Sprout to explain what had happened before stories got too wild. The head of Hufflepuff had accepted Harry's point that he hadn't seen anything that he shouldn't have. The pair sat down to breakfast which Harry was able to do completely normally. It was just as well that the Professor Nials had brewed some Luck Potion to put in Harry's juice. The luck Harry wanted was to eat breakfast without throwing it halfway across the hall.

"Excuse me" a voice said. A mutter from Hermione told him to turn round in his seat and tilt his head slightly upwards.

"Not meaning to be rude, but who is it?" Harry asked.

"Its Susan" the girl said, feeling creeped out that Harry's unseeing eyes appeared to be gazing at her more then ample chest. She knew that Harry was doing the best that he could under the circumstances, and that she should not be judging him for something that was not his fault.

"What can I do for you?" Harry asked.

"Can I have a word?"

"Just the one?"

"I'd like to see you in private" Susan said. Harry turned round again and assumed he was facing his girlfriend.

"I think I am going to be got at. You think I should be alone with Susan? Would mind that at all?" he asked.

"Well, Harry" said a carefully drawn out Irish brogue, "I like you as a friend, but I think our relationship should end there" Seamus said.

"You mean you don't want to kiss my blarney stones anymore?" Harry said, thinking quickly. Seamus found this so funny that he had to be carted off by Dean and Colin Creevy to the Hospital Wing for a calming draught. "I think I can slide you into my schedule, Susan. If I remember rightly, you have double Potions followed by lunch and a free period" Harry said, recalling the schedule for his year's Hufflepuffs.

"That's right" Susan confirmed.

"Well come and see me after you've had lunch" he said. "I'll be in the Headmaster's office. Lean in closer, would you?" and Susan bent down and put her head directly next to Harry's mouth. "The password is Zordon" he whispered.

"I won't forget" Susan assured. She thanked him and then left with Hannah to go to lessons.

"You want some help getting back?" asked Hermione.

"No need" Harry said. "I'll get Dobby to come in a few minutes" and Hermione kissed the top of his head before she left for Gryffindor tower and got her things for Double Potions.

#

"Speak" commanded Voldemort.

"My Lord" bowed a witch dressed in Healer robes. "My Lord, as you know, I have been assigned to work on creating a potion to cure Harry Potter's blindness. We created that cure this morning"

"WHAT?" thundered Voldemort. "That brat will be able to ruin our plans still"

"He won't, My Lord" the Healer said.

"Oh? How do you know this?" Voldemort asked, ready to curse the witch in front of him.

"I started a fire that unfortunately was so hot it melted the cauldron the potion was in and destroyed it and the sample we had taken" the Healer said. "It will take at least a month to gather the ingredients, and then another two weeks to make it again" and the Dark Lord was pleased.

"You have done well, my loyal Death Eater" he said. "Take this as a reward, and report back to me when you know of more information. I want to know everything there is concerning our young friend" he said, throwing the Healer a bag of gold coins.

"It shall be done" the Healer bowed again and left the throne room.

"Ready the Death Eaters for a raid, Bella" Voldemort said. "It is time we let people know we have not gone into the night" he said.

"At once, My Lord" Bellatrix said, getting up from where she had been sat at Voldemort's feet.

#

"Hello? Harry, are you in?" Susan asked.

"Come in" came the shouted reply. Susan opened the door and went inside the Headmaster's office. She looked around but couldn't see Harry anywhere. "Where are you?" the girl asked.

"Through the back" Harry called. Susan went around the desk to go into the private area. She saw him lying on a lounge sofa listening to some music which she couldn't identify.

"Hey" Susan said. "You want me to turn it off?"

"Please" Harry said. "Tried to do it myself, but I crashed into the table, I think, so I gave it up" Susan noted the floor had several cups and plates in various stages of repair, and she gave them a flick of her wand as she turned the wireless off. "So… what can I do for you, Susan?" he asked, hauling himself up to a sitting position.

"I wanted to apologise in private for my reaction last night" the Hufflepuff sat down next to him. "It wasn't your fault at all, and I made things worse by running off and screaming to Professor Sprout"

"You were startled, Susan" Harry said, turning to look at what he hoped was her. When he had spoken to Dobby about what he had wanted for lunch, the elf had had to tell Harry that he had been addressing the grandfather clock for five minutes about food. "I should have been more specific about the toilet I wanted. Dobby assumed the nearest toilet, and took me there. It was just a misunderstanding"

"But half the school thinks you were trying to grope me in the cubicle" Susan said. "The teachers have all told them what really happened, minus a few details, but I want to make it up to you. Is there anything that I can do?" she asked.

"A few things spring to mind" Harry smiled, "But I'd need my sight back first! If you really want to make it up to me, then help me to get around, would you? I can't keep relying on Hermione all the time. She's going to need all of her spare time to revise for end of the year exams" he said.

"Is that it?" asked Susan.

"That is all I feel I can ask of you, Susan" Harry said. "I don't want to get you all embarrassed and stuff like that" he added.

"Harry, you don't have to worry about that" she replied. "It is the least I can do for you" and Harry smiled.

"Sometimes it is going to get a little bit personal – if you know what I mean" he said, but Susan assured him that she would help him.

"That is what friends do after all" she said. "Well, know that that is over and done with, why don't you come with me to Hufflepuff?" and Harry agreed and Susan helped him to his feet before taking his hand as they left.

"I could do with getting someplace that isn't on all the normal tourist routs" Harry said as they reached the door.

#

"You know" Harry said as Susan helped him to get down the slight slope, "I don't think I have ever been here before" and the Hufflepuff was surprised.

"Really?" she asked.

"Mmm" Harry said.

"Well, fancy that" Susan remarked. "Just keep walking slowly" she added after seeing Harry be motionless. "Are you alright?" and Harry nodded, despite being blind. Old habits die hard after all. "Don't lie, Harry. I can see that something is bothering you" and Harry sighed.

"My legs hurt" he admitted.

"Well you have been in bed for a while. You've just got to get the aches out of them – that's all" Susan said. "Now just be careful here… that's it" they stepped off the slope and down a little tunnel before entering the common room. It was empty of anybody else, and Susan guided Harry to an oversized chair with a back and wings that could have been used to go Paragliding with.

"That is better" Harry closed his eyes and his face sank into contentment.

"We don't often get visitors" said Susan.

"In Gryffindor, we often get Luna and others coming round" Harry replied tiredly. "Bloody potions" he muttered.

"Would you like some tea?" Susan asked.

"I would, as it happens" Harry said. "You want me to call Dob-" Susan hushed him as she turned her head. "What?" Harry turned his head this way and that out of pure automatic instinct.

"Others are coming" Susan said, "And I gather you'd not be the centre of attention" to which, Harry could only agree.

"Where are we going?" he asked her. Judging from the noise coming from the long tunnel, most of Hufflepuff sat in their dorms. But, Harry thought as he was being pulled along, the tunnel was very long for just a few dorms. He cursed his blindness as he crashed into Susan's back.

"In here" she said, pushing Harry through a door. "Welcome to my bedroom, Harry" Susan said grandly.

"You do know I am with Hermione, right?" Harry joked. "Is this your dorm?" he asked.

"We don't have dorms in Hufflepuff" Susan said, sitting him down in a chair. "We have little rooms coming off a couple of tunnels - I share mine with Hannah" she continued. "Its better then having a big dorm. Our common room is supposed to be as big as the other houses, but I can't say for certain if that's true or not. Normally, there are quite a few people in the common room, but the warming charms have been on and off lately. I guess people spend it in their bedrooms"

"Tell me more about these rooms" Harry asked. Apart from the one, brief, trip to the Slytherin common room, he had always been in the Gryffindor common room and no other – though he knew Ginny often went to the Ravenclaw one and vice versa.

"Well… there's two beds, two desks, two chairs, two armchairs, two chest of drawers, two wardrobes and our own shower and toilet" Susan said. "Its like one of those budget muggle rooms really" she added.

"You got a kitchen here as well?" Harry enquired.

"No. Why do you ask?"

"How would you give me a cup of tea then?"

"Me and Hannah keep a teapot and some cups in the room" Susan explained. "We got hold of one of those working miniature cauldrons that little kids use for playing Cook. We fill it with water, start the thing boiling and then make the tea when the water is ready"

"I take it you get the tea sent to you?" Harry guessed.

"We both chip in, and Hannah's mother sends it in a parcel – along with the sugar and milk" and Harry was impressed greatly.

"That thought had never come to me" he said. "I'd have gone down to the kitchen or called for an house elf" he added. Whilst Susan had been speaking, she had been moving around and picking up things here and there. "Is this alright?" Harry asked suddenly. "I mean being in here with you"

"We're allowed visitors" said Susan with a frown. "I told you that a minute ago"

"I meant having a boy in a girl's room" Harry said.

"Not normally, no…" said another voice.

"Two girls in one bedroom, and I'm fucking blind" Harry raised his fist and shook it. "DAMN YOU GOD!"

"Shut the door, Han" Susan said. "I went to apologise to Harry, and I ended up bringing him here" and Hannah shut the door before looking at Harry in thought.

"He can't see anything?" she asked.

"Nothing at all" he confirmed. "You know that, Hannah" he added. "I can go if you want" but Hannah told him to stay sitting down.

"It is really cold outside, and I've got Herbology next" she said. "I came back here to switch the skirt for the trousers. Didn't know you'd be here" Hannah said, just as Susan poured the tea out into three cups. The other Hufflepuff had conjured another for her friend.

"Oh don't mind me" Harry said. "I promise not to peep" he added with a laugh. Hannah couldn't help but laugh with Harry and Susan before getting the trousers out from her wardrobe. She bunched her robes up to her waist before reaching under them for the zip to her skirt. When he heard the noise, Harry hummed The Stripper which caused Hannah to squeak in surprise and go a bright red.

"Behave, Harry" said Susan, handing him the cup of tea. Harry had figured out that morning how to drink tea by himself, and he practiced it now as he drank. He slowly brought the cup up until the rim touched his lip. Once the rim was between both lips, he tipped the cup back ever so slightly and sipped the tea.

"You better get changed, Sue" Hannah said.

"Right" Susan agreed, and pulled down her skirt to reveal the red knickers she wore under it. If Harry hadn't been blind, he would have been having a minor coronary at the sight.

#

"Harry?" Luna was behind the door to the Headmaster's office.

"Luna? Come in" he called. Luna opened the door and went inside the office. She went into the back where Harry was sitting in a chair listening to a live Quidditch match. Both hands held the arms of the chair he was in, and the boy held his head up – looking at nothing straight ahead.

"Hi, Harry" Luna said.

"Would you mind turning it off please?" Harry asked her. "It's too depressing to listen to" he told her.

"Why?" asked the blonde as she turned the power switch to off.

"I'm never going to be able to play Quidditch again, so why bother listening to a game?" he shook his head and turned his head so he was looking at Luna's general direction. "What can I do for you?" Harry asked.

"Hermione is doing some research in the library that might help you, and she asked me to tell you that she can't make dinner" Luna replied. "I wouldn't mind having dinner with you" and Harry smiled. The girl was really someone to know.

"Thanks, Luna, but I'm not a good dinner companion at the moment" he told her. "I can't eat or drink anything without being helped in one way or another. You'd spend so much time helping me, that your meal would get cold before you had chance to eat it" but Luna said she didn't mind that much. When Harry stood up, the pain in his legs became too much for him to bear, and so she helped him to the bed which he stretched out on and then hissed at the pain that flooded his body.

"You need something to take away the pain" Luna observed.

"I'm on four different potions a day" Harry replied, eyes closed even though there was no real need. "And they've stopped working as well as they did before" and Luna was hit with a rather good idea.

"I have something that my father sent me a while ago. He says it can lessen quite bad pain. Maybe it will work for you…" she shrugged. "Would you mind if I borrowed your elf?" and Harry called for Dobby.

"Dobby is being wanted?"

"Hello, Dobby. I am Luna. Harry said its okay for you to take instructions from me. Would you mind popping to my dorm and getting the box that is at the bottom of my trunk? It is a little dark blue one" Luna said politely. Dobby looked at Harry before realising that Harry couldn't see the expectant look on his face.

"Is it being alrights for Dobby?" the elf asked.

"Sure, Dobby" Harry said, and the elf popped away to Luna's dorm. He came back a few minutes later with the box, and then went to finish whatever he was doing.

"Open your mouth a bit, Harry" Luna said, and put something wrapped in paper into Harry's parted lips. She patted her robes and pulled out a lighter, and lit the end of the item. "Take a few puffs then take it out" she instructed Harry. He did as he was told, and found that the pain was less and he felt more calm and at peace.

#

"Yes" said McGonagall. "I can smell that too" she added. Apart from herself, Pansy, Professor Sprout and Hermione stood at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the Headmaster's office and rooms.

"It smells faintly like burning herbs, but there isn't any smoke from a fire" Sprout said.

"If there was a fire, Harry would have got out by now – even blind as he is" Hermione pointed out.

"Whatever it is, it's getting stronger" Pansy said. McGonagall led the way up and opened the door. All four of them were hit by a strong sickly scent that hung in the air, and they had to clear it out before they could go any further. They discovered Harry lying asleep on the top of the bed – stretched out and with a smile on his face. Hermione quickly checked his vitals, and they read a little higher then normal, but that was not too much concern for them.

"Wake up, Harry" Hermione shook him gently by the shoulder.

"Who's there? Who is it?" Harry said. "Is that you, Luna?" he asked.

"Its Hermione, Pansy and Professors McGonagall and Sprout" said Hermione. "We smelt something funny coming from the room and thought you were in trouble" she said.

"Trouble?" Harry said lazily. "No trouble at all…" he grinned wider then a Cheshire cat.

"You look better then you did this morning" Pansy said.

"He does, doesn't he" agreed Hermione. "Maybe Madam Pomfrey's potions are working again" but Harry shook his head.

"No potions. Luna gave me a cigarette and now I feel fine" Harry giggled.

"That's not any tobacco smell I normally smell here" Sprout said, then it came to her what the sickly scent of the smoke was. "Mr Potter has been smoking cannabis" she said.

"Harry doesn't do drugs" Hermione said quickly. "Not illegal ones" she amended. The potions he was taking were classed as drugs in a broad sense.

"Mr Potter, can you tell us when you last saw Miss Lovegood?" asked McGonagall.

"He's asleep again" Sprout said. "Best thing for him" she added. "I'd better tell Poppy to get him something" and off she went.

"Miss Parkinson, please would you mind going around the school and find Miss Lovegood. Once you've found her, bring her to my office, please"

"At once, Professor" and the Slytherin left to find Luna.

"You had better stay here, Miss Granger" McGonagall said as she went for the door. "This one is going to take some explaining to him" and then left to make a floo call to Xeno Lovegood and ask if he sent the cannabis to his own daughter.