When Hermione arrived back at the flat no one was home so she set up camp in the library and hadn't left it since. Almost immediately after her stomach growled, Charlie came in to tell her that dinner was ready. She was a bit nervous about what they had in store. Since Friday she'd never actually spent an extended period of time with any of them without Ron or Ginny as a buffer.
The chicken satay that Bill had made was delicious, and the conversation was light and comfortable, but the longer dinner went on, the more Hermione got the idea that something was not right. There was something going on that they weren't telling her. Bill hadn't even said anything about her failing to finish half of the meager portion of food she'd served herself. Not being able to take it any longer she snapped.
"One of you tell me what's going on here or I'll show you the progress Ginny has made in teaching me her bat-bogey hex!"
They all went instantly silent and looked a little nervous. That wasn't a good sign. Finally a slow smile appeared on Charlie's face.
"You won't be able to pull much over on her, but at last you're with a witch who's smart enough to keep up with you," Charlie teased his older brother.
"Hermione, love, I asked Charlie and Percy over to introduce you to a little game. We started playing after my 6th year at Hogwarts. One of my dorm mates bet me that I couldn't steal a vial of Veritaserum from Snape. Playing pranks with it would've been too illegal to even mess around with, so I stashed it away and forgot about it until the summer hols. Percy found it in my trunk and we three decided to try it, just to see what it was like. Everyone knows that Veritaserum makes you unable to knowingly tell a lie, so if you believed something to be true you cold still say it under the influence, but what few people realize is that if you've been lying to yourself, consciously or not, you will only tell the truth. Ever since then, when one of us was at a crossroads or stressed out or had a big decision to make we would play 'truth, if you dare,' as we'd titled it," Bill finished explaining, eyeing Hermione's wand warily.
"That's absolutely fascinating!" Hermione exclaimed, completely missing the point that they wanted to play it now for the moment. "Wait, wouldn't things come out that you didn't want to hear?"
"Yes. And we haven't played it since I was a total prat and abandoned my family for my ambitions, so tonight will probably be no different," explained Percy.
"We have an understanding that nothing said will be mentioned out of confidence and even if things said become hurtful, isn't it better that they get said rather than silently fester?" chimed Charlie.
"So really the only question now, Hermione, is; do you trust us?" asked Bill.
"Yes," she said. She was still fascinated by a use for the truth telling potion that was largely unrealized and eager to see it for herself.
Percy produced a vial from his robes and carefully measured two drops of the potent liquid into their cups. "That should last us about two hours." he said.
Bill raised his cup and everyone followed suit and downed the contents, then waited a moment.
"My hair is red," stated Percy.
"Of course it's red, what's your point?" asked Hermione, wondering why he'd say something so obvious.
"Just testing that it's working. I was trying to use the word blond."
"So, Hermione, Bill wanted to play this little game because he's worried about you and, from what I've been told, so am I," said Charlie. "We know your life has been upended more than most by the war, but we're worried about how you're coping. You've made sure everyone else is okay, but you haven't seemed to worry about yourself at all."
"I haven't been taking care of myself!" Hermione argued. Or at least she'd attempted to. "What I meant to say was taking care of others allows me to hide the fact that I don't know where to go from here." Hermione hadn't expected any of this to come out of her mouth. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...
"None of us knows where to go from here, love," said Bill. "I thought that once the war was done Fleur would want a baby."
"I thought I'd be going back to Romania to train dragons, not filling in for my lost brother, so I know for a fact that his twin is coping and moving on with his life as best he can. So I don't lose another brother," said Charlie.
"I couldn't see past my own little world. As long as I stayed in the good graces of the higher-ups I probably would've strangled Penelope in her sleep," Percy looked absolutely nauseated at the words coming out of his mouth. For the first time since he'd abandoned his family, Hermione saw that he really was one of the Weasley boys.
"Don't worry, Perce. It's over now. We all have a bit of a self destructive streak. I accredit it to having such a large family. We all want to set ourselves apart in some way. I have to be the golden boy. The first born, setting a good example for all the rest, but also a bit of a bad boy. Charlie, thrill-seeker, trains dragons, one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. You have your blind ambition, wanting to become more powerful than all the rest. Fred and George had the whole twin thing, but also didn't want to be recognized for intelligence, Percy and I already did that. They made people laugh, the jokers. Ron, left with few options, defines himself by who he associates with. He was in the golden trio, but now that everyone is trying to put the war behind them, he needs something new to define himself so he cast Hermione aside for someone new to bring attention to himself. Hell, the only one of us who's never tried to be anything more than what she is is Ginny, and she already stands out as the only girl," Bill summed up. Hermione had never looked at Ron that way, but it fit.
"Well, regardless, I'm relieved I've quit politics and will never return to it again. I will live out my days as a lawyer and help people as well as saving me from myself," said Percy. "So, future sister in law, what did you expect to do from here? Live happily ever after with Ronald?" Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Bill flinch at this statement.
"No. Ronald and I never belonged together. It was expected of me to end up with one of them and Harry was spoken for so I fell into an easy role. Even if Ron and I were better matched, he abandoned me whenever times got rough. I could never be the kind of wife he expects, in fact I think the only woman who can be is Molly Weasley! I'd set myself up for all of this before the war because it was easy and didn't make any long term plans because I never expected to survive," she said. The look of shock on her face let everyone in the room know that she hadn't realized any of this either. "Now that I have survived I don't have a purpose. I've always had a purpose. So I've just let myself fall into a sort of holding pattern."
They all sat at the table in silence for a few minutes to digest this rather large bit of information.
"Do you want to live?" Bill asked, quietly.
"Of course I do! But I don't know how! I've taken care of everyone my whole life! I took care of my mother growing up because my father was always sleeping around so she drank. I went off to school and got wrapped up in the war and everyone else needed me. I have never lived one day in my whole life just for me. Now it seems that everyone is taken care of. Mom and Dad survived without me and now they don't want me, Ron only wants me as a trophy, Harry and Ginny have each other, hell, even the house elves don't need me after the legislation passed in the aftermath of the war! I don't know my place in a world where no one needs me!" Hermione cried. She hadn't notice Bill getting up and wrapping his arms around her in her little meltdown.
"Hermione," Bill said as he crossed to kneel in front of her and take her face in his hands, "I need you. I never loved Fleur, I just didn't want to die alone. I have always needed you. From the moment I met you, when you were that scrawny little fourteen year old I knew, on some level, that you should be mine. I loved coming home for holidays so I would have a chance to sit up at night and talk to you about curses, and medical breakthroughs, and politics, and the other sort of small talk we would get into. I had to make an effort to keep it all small talk or I know I would have crossed a line. I need you. I want to take care of you, though no one else has, love you, even though I'm not sure I deserve the honor, and help you find your place in a world that wouldn't be worth living in without you. Hermione Jean Granger, will you marry me?" Bill asked, producing his grandmother's ring from his pocket.
