A/N: Sorry this took forever to get up here and yep its a short one sorry about that. Becky and I hope that you like the chapter and please dont forget to review we would love to knonw what you are thinking about our story so far.

We do not own anything Twilight.

Tarnished Gosling
Chapter 12 - Memories and Feelings

BPOV

I used to lead such an innocent and carefree life. From the moment I had been born, I was a 'Daddy's Girl'. My father Charlie has always been the person I look up to the most and whose opinions and advice I cherish and take to heart. Suffice to say, his opinion on Jake is what pretty much led me to where I am now. My dad and Jakes dad, Billy were life-long friends almost to the point of brothers. They grew uptogether which in turn led to Jake and I growing up together as well. It was never any secret in the Swan house that Charlie wanted me to be with Jacob as more than friends. I had to listen to him chatter onrelentlessly about what a wonderful boy Jake was, how any woman would be lucky to have him, how he'd make someone a great husband someday "yeah dad, look how that turned out". Things between Jake and I had always been natural and easy...as easy as breathing he always used to say. I always knew that I would end up with him. Our friendship progressed from kids running around playing, tugging each other's hair, skinned knees and tears to best friends who confided our deepest thoughts, secrets, fears and desires to one another. He truly was the one person I trusted the most aside from my dad. He was there for me during one of the hardest times in my life...when my mother walked out on us when I was 6 years old. He was my rock and my shoulder to cry on when I couldn't talk to Charlie for fear of him breaking down over the loss of his dear Renee. She broke my father's spirit the day she walked out of our lives and he's never been the same since. Even after she died, it was like Renee took a piece of him with her to grave. I am sure that Charlie viewed Renee as his soul mate, the one that would last, beat the odds, not become another statistic. Renee's out going attitude was always the one thing that he loved and hated the most about her. Charlie always said her free spirit could never be contained by swan feathers.

Standing under the hot spray of the shower I shake the thoughts of my father and Jake out of my head, and slowly the tension in my neck and shoulders begins to dissipate. Jesus H Chris, what a week this has been. If someone had told me even a month ago that my life would turn into what it has I would have laughed in their face and asked what the hell they were smoking. This is not me; I was not supposed to end up like this. I'm intelligent, funny, and loyal to a fault and I see the good in everything and everyone. God damn it if that son of a bitch didn't rob me of all of that. Now I'm just a shell of the bright eyed girl who had everything going for her.

As I finish washing my hair I notice my bandages starting to become too wet and decide to turn off my inner musings for the night. Standing in front of the vanity mirror changing the bandage on my arm I hear a loud grumbling voice that startles me until I remember the Edward's here. I tip-toe to the door and crack it open silently so I can hear what's going on. Yes I'm nosy.

I can barely make out what's being said as the voices have more hushed tones now.

"No, you GOON she has been in the hospital for a little over a week, remember she is the one that Black went all ape on?"

Wait, is that Edward's voice? And how the fuck does he know about Jake?

"Ahh, right I remember, I heard Heidi talking about that douche nozzle the other night, has he been caught man?

Fucking hell, it figures Heidi would be running her mouth. I love her and all but the bitch seriously doesn't know when to shut the hell up.

"Not yet, Em we have to do something about this. I am not going to go into any details, not here and not now, but I will tell you Em, if anything and I mean anything happens to that woman that is in thatshower, I swear to you if Black ever touches a single hair on her head he will wish that his parents had never even met in order to fuck to become more than a wet dream that resulted in his birth instead of being a stain on his mothers ass cheek from having to sleep in the wet spot."

Holy shit...am I in the fucking twilight zone here or what? How in the hell does he know all of this and why is he being so protective? Why is Edward Cullen being all kinds of Possessive? FUCK!

"Whoa slow down there E, I will help you hunt this piece of shit down man, but fuck dude…"
I make my way into my bathroom after Edward left to get some more of my pain medication, taking one more than what was recommended, since that shit will knock me flat on my ass. I stretch as best I can and notice that I'm not nearly as stiff and sore as I have been this past week. I decide to head down and check out what will soon be my new garden.

Hunt him down? What the hell are they? Vigilante Renegades? Hmm, not that I wouldn't mind seeing that cock sucking motherfucker get what's coming to him.

After that initial meeting with Emmett my new neighbor and co-worker, and dinner with Edward. I found myself sitting alone in my new apartment pissed the hell off because I had been too damn afraid to voice any of my questions while he was here. I mean fuck, I should have just asked everything I wanted to know right? It is my apartment after all. I have a right to know what's going on in my own home.

Yes, but you were eves dropping on a conversation you shouldn't have heard.

So what? I could always say I overheard because I opened the bathroom door to let the steam out. Right?

Riiiight

Even though it's twilight now and close to dark, I slowly walk around imagining all the flowers I'll soon be able to plant while getting lost in my thoughts. There's just enough light left for me to imagine where everything will go and I'm excited for the first time over two years, since the first time I met...Edward.