Hey there =), funny coincidence. I'm updating Chapter 23 of Black Heart (English) the same time like Chapter 23 of my ongoing Story Chains of Xerchia. Next week, uni starts again =.=" The thought of preparing for my tests in february makes me wanna vomit. I intent to update the next two or three chapters in a week or two weeks, because the next three or four chapters are actually a little bit shorter than the two chapters I'm updating today. So, I suppose I won't need that much time for it. In these two chapters, you are going to see a little bit more of James' family. So, have fun!
Review:
sandraj45692: Hey there =) Thank you for the kind words. +g+ Yeah, I actually loved to write about Sirius' and Lilli's friendship in Black Heart. Even though I'm sure he was closer to James and more his friend, I believe that he had a very special bond to Harry's mother as well. And Black Heart was a perfect opportunity for me to wirte that down. It was nice to hear from you again =)
Chapter 22 – Close to darkness I
Lilli entered the great hall for breakfast, looking around for somebody. Anna and Kingcade obviously already finished like most of the other students. The only one, who was still sitting on the Gryffindor table, was the one she was searching for. She hurried to the table and sat down next to him.
"Sirius?"
"Goodmoning, litschlefrower!" he said, the mouth full of food.
"Likewise. Sirius, what's with James?"
"Um?"
"Anna said his mother was admitted to the hospital and -"
"Oh,schat!" He swallowed everything down before grinning broadly at her. "You're worried about our cutie pie Prongsie?"
"You aren't?"
"No!" he said as if that was self-evident.
"No?"
"Why should I, Lil? Prongs can take care of himself just fine and he surely don't need a babysitter. What happened to his mum is awful but I know her. She always made it and she will make it this time, too. Let's go to class."
Sirius really didn't seem to be worried at all about James, but that caused even more worries to Lilli. Somehow, her feeling was telling her that something bad was about to happen. It was just fact that Destiny didn't grant her the slightest happiness. It would take James away from her as well.
The Knight Bus took James to a street near his home. With his small bag on his shoulder he walked towards the huge ground of the Potter property. From outside it looked like any average house with a small garden, a little terrace and two floors. That was just for cover, because in the inside it was a pompously huge castle. It had always been James opinion that his grandfather wanted to brag with that home, when he built it with magic. He was hardly inside when two voices appeared from another room nearby. They belonged to his sister Patricia and his father, who where loudly arguing in the living room. That hadn't been really uncommon in this house for years.
"I couldn't do anything to prevent this, Tricia!" The voice of his father was parrying, like someone who had to defend himself.
"That's what you always said, but this time I was there. If you had stopped beating the crap out of Shark instead of hexing him with everything you got, you could've saved Mum and she wouldn't have to lay in St. Mungo's, fighting for her life."
"If I had stopped duelling with Sharks, he would've attacked again! I couldn't get rid of him!"
"He was already down, Dad! Do you really want to wake up one day, knowing that your greedy for credit and combat destroyed your whole family? First James, now Mum, am I the next one? Why can't you listen to grandfather?"
"I'm doing everything I can to keep us together, damn it!"
"But everything is not enough!"
"What else do you want from me, Tricia? Quitting my job? Who's going to support you then?"
"OH WITCH! It's not like we're going to be homeless or starving to death. Grandfather is minister of magic after all and your vault at Gringotts didn't only consist of one Sickle! Dad, you're acting as if you're the only one fighting for your family. What about me? I'm working, too! I'm fighting, too!"
'I'm not...' James thought desolate and moved on to his room upstairs. Somehow, it didn't matter to him if they heard him or not. In the last time, so many things just became meaningless. He let his bag slipped to the ground and fell into his bed. Laying there with his hands above his eyes, he tried not to think about anything. To think about his problems was stupid, because there didn't exist a solution. Why don't just let destiny have it's way? No matter how much it hurt, ignoring was way easier than to cope with it. He felt his slow breathing, gentle but painful, as if every take was sending the same pain into his heart.
"James?"
He took off his hands from his face and turned to the right. His sister had entered and even though she was smiling, he knew that it was just put on. There wasn't much to laugh about for them these days.
"Why didn't you let us know you're back?"
Nothing. Silence seemed to be a good answer and it was as exhausting as speaking.
"How was your ride with the Knight Bus?"
"Okay..."
She walked to him and sat down on his side, while he straightened up to be on eye-level.
"Mum told me about your dreams. That they've started again. Did you still have them? Even in Hogwarts?"
"It's alright, Tricia. Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."
'That's a big lie, but everyone hears what they want to hear, anyway. Why burden her with the truth?'
"What happened with Mum? Dumbledore didn't say much," he changed the subject.
"Oh." Patricia suddenly seemed to feel uncomfortable or she probably just didn't want to tell everything. It was her expression telling him that. Well, their loud argument were telling enough anyway. His father was again to be blame for.
"How is Mum?" he asked another question to avoid talking about other awkward issues.
"Well, I was about to go back to the hospital to visit her. You like to join?"
"What about Dad?"
"He went back to work. Didn't this say enough about his love?"
"..."
"I depart in five minutes. Is that enough time for you to prepare?"
"I don't need five minutes. I'm ready."
Patricia smiled.
"Well then, little brother. Let's go."
They travelled by Floo powder through the Floo Network to St. Mungo's, the hospital for injured witches and wizards. James was familiar with that building, since it wasn't the first time for him. Patricia led him into the room, where their mother was sleeping soundly. Her expression was peaceful and even. Maybe, she was dreaming something good? There was no scratch in this clear, beautiful face. Was it probably just one curse which was supposed to kill her? The death curse?
"I'll go and talk to Healer Stradford. I'll be back in a minute."
After his sister had left, he sat down on a chair next to his mother's bed, slowly taking a deep breath. Why did it hurt so much to see her like this? It even hurt to know that his own father was to blame for this. At this very moment, he couldn't help but ask himself how those two could even produce two children.
"James?" The weak voice of his mother had pulled him out of his thoughts. Oceanblue eyes tried to enter his soul, but he refused and looked away.
"Hey, Mum. How are you?"
"I've been better," she answered wearily, seemingly feeble and tired. It appeared to be hard for her to speak and he didn't want to strain her.
"You should sleep, Mum. You'll get well."
It only took a second more for Patricia to enter the room again, followed by Healer Stradford, who smiled gently at James. He smiled weakly back at her, because they already know each other. Jeanette Stradford was the same Healer, who treated his injuries five years ago.
"Maria," the Healer said worriedly. "You're suppose to sleep. The potion can only work, if your body are resting."
"I know, Jeanette," she answered tenderly, looking warm at James. "But my son is here. I wanted to see him."
He didn't say anything, but trying to shut any feelings away.
"I felt that you're here," she added contentedly. James smiled artificially. It was strange but if it concerned his family, he couldn't smile from his heart or be happy. Everything that happened in these past five years were laying like a heavy stone at his heart, stabbing him with every day passing by. If it wasn't for his friends, he would've already gone mad.
"Well, nonetheless. I'll have a look at your injuries. James, Patricia, please go outside. You can come back in half an hour."
Both nodded and left the room. James threw one look back before closing the door, feeling sorry for his mother. He knew his behaviour hurt her, but he just couldn't change it.
Tricia and James stood on the floor for a while without even talking one word to each other. It was strange, because they used to get along great and always joked together. Everything had changed to the worse. It was almost unbearable.
"Are you going to tell me now what happened?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.
"I haven't seen everything," she answered grimly. "I only joined after they were already attacking. Aurors were fighting deatheaters, who tried to destroy a village where mostly Muggles lived. There were also two halfblood couples, which I suppose were their real target. After I arrived, Dad was fighting with 3 deatheaters, Mum with 2 and Mad-Eye with 4. The moment we wanted to help, 6 more of them apparated and along with them even You-know-Who."
"Voldemort was there?!" He called appalled.
"Don't say his name!" Tricia hissed with grinding teeth, since they got the attention of everyone else on that floor now. Nobody dared to say the dark Lord by his name and that James did, wasn't the smartest thing according to his sister.
"Yes, he was there," she continued to tell, but kept her voice down. "He attacked Mum."
"Mum? Why did he chose her out of all?"
"Well, the ministry think that both halfblood families are of very importance. Don't know more, but Mum was trying to save the Witch of one family. You-know-Who was outraged and attacked her."
"And Dad didn't do anything to help her..." He murmured frustrated and Tricia nodded gloomy.
"He was so caught up in his beating against Sharks, that he didn't pay attention to anything else. You know him."
"..." he nodded pensively.
"Anyway, the outcome wasn't breathtaking. You-know-Who almost killed Mum and the Witch, she was trying to protect, got killed regardless of her effort. He knocked Mum aside and she fell right into one of Mad-Eye's curses, that was intended for a deatheater. It was luck that he never intentionally kill if he can help it. So, the curse wasn't mortal. The worse part is that Dad didn't even react, when Mum got hit. She laid there seriously injured and he just went on cudgelling his enemy. Great! Sharks is imprisoned in the ministry. That makes one deatheater less and the cost is probably Mum's life."
Tricia was way to furious to show sadness. She was leaning on the wall, looking angry and even depressed, but she didn't give away her tears. Both Potter children had stopped showing their pain through tears, because the truth was that they already cried to much in the past years. They just didn't have any left.
"Which village they attacked?"
"I'm not allowed to tell you that, James. Even the Daily Prophet was forbidden to write about that."
"Why?" he asked sceptically. "What's so important about those families?"
"I can't tell you that. I'm sorry, but those are classified information. This is really big, you know and I just can't tell you about it, so please don't try to squeeze it out of me." This was the last word on this matter and both fell back into silence. It took several time for Tricia to turn her attention to him again, smirking meaningfully.
"What's with you and Lissy?"
"Everything is great," he answered shortly.
"Well, I've heard differently."
"Err?"
"Forget it," she said instantly, still smiling pleased. James didn't respond, but remained quiet. He would just forget it. There was no strength left to think about broken sentence or hints. If he was with his family, he felt like it was alright whatever happened. It would always come to an end eventually.
Finally, Healer Stradford joined them again, but shook her head disappointed.
"Her condition isn't good. It got worse. I gave your mother a new potion to help curing her injuries. Let's hope that it will be better if she sleeps more. I'm sorry I can't guarantee anything. Let's hope for the best."
"Can we go in?" Tricia asked.
"Sure. I guess it's good if she knows that her children are there. But if she happens to wake up, don't strain her, okay? It could worsen her condition."
So, Tricia and James remained in the room at their mother's side. Every now and then, James walked away to get some food for his sister, but most of the time they stayed silently next to Maria Potter's bed. Michael Potter didn't appear a single time. It wasn't a surprise for James, because he knew about the condition of his parent's marriage. Patricia obviously not so much, because she seemed to be outraged by their father's behaviour. She was also the one who ignored the problems of their parents the whole time. Every now and then, they talked about what happened with their family but it became clear to him that Tricia didn't pay attention to most of the things that was in front of their eyes until it got worse like today.
"James? I have to leave for a moment."
"Where are you going?" he asked, but nodded understandingly.
"To the Ministry of Magic to have a talk with Dad. It just can't be that Mum is laying here fighting for her life and he went back to work as if this was normal! You take care of Mum until I get that stupid idiot here."
"Bye," he said indifferently, when she waved him goodbye and left the room. Several hours went by but his sister didn't come back. James remained at his Mother's side, looking at the clock every now and then or looked outside the window to the sky. He was longing at something... no, not something... somebody and it wasn't the one he thought it would be.
"James?"
"Mum?" he said alarmed. She was suppose to sleep, but instead she straightened herself and sat up. Worriedly, James stood up as well, trying to pull her back down. "Mum, Healer Stradford said-"
"I heard what she said," Maria Potter said very weakly. "I'm resting, really. I just can't sleep all the time. At least I want to spend some time with my son..."
James was looking distraughtly at her, because her words sounded like a goodbye. He wouldn't be able to cry if it really happens like he wasn't able to give his mother any strength, because he didn't even have any left for himself.
"Am I mistaken or is there someone new?"
"Someone new?" he asked puzzled. She nodded delighted.
"I know you, James. I gave birth to you and raised you. You looked different than before you left us on September. I watched you observing the stars and your eyes changed."
"..."
"So, you and Melissa broke up?"
"No," he answered quietly.
"But there is someone else, am I right?" she asked, her gaze was strangely hopeful. He didn't answer.
"You don't have to say it, because I can tell. You look so much happier. I'm sure you like her a lot."
"She likes me, too," he finally said, looking rather guilty. Maria looked surprised back.
"Isn't this a good thing?"
"No."
"Why that?"
"Because..." James paused for a moment. He didn't need time to think about his words but rather finding the courage to say them out loud. "Because she didn't have a future with me. Lilli is gorgeous and every other guy would do her better than me."
"Lilli," Maria said warm-hearted. "That's a beautiful name."
"She is beautiful... and she's a good person."
"Unlike Melissa."
"I haven't said that!" he countered immediately.
"But that's how it is," Maria said firmly.
"I know you guys don't like her."
"We don't like her, because she isn't good enough for you, son."
"Or I'm not good enough for her?"
"James! That's not what I'm saying!"
"You just did!" he said peevishly and sat down onto the chair again. He was frustrated, exhausted and angry, but angry at himself because he provoked and upset his mother again and again. She didn't deserve that but he still just went on with this. "I should go. You need to rest."
He was about to stand up and leave when Maria Potter grabbed his arm tightly, looking pleadingly at him.
"James, please I... I..."
Even though her hand grabbed him tightly he could've easily get rid of her grip. Her other hand wandered to her chest onto her heart, as if she was about to lose consciousness, because something in her kept on hurting. James immediately get a hold on her, sitting back down on the chair to calm her down. His heart gave a lurch, feeling guilty for worsening her condition. Stradford told him not to strain her and yet he did it.
"Mum?" He asked, deeply worried about her.
She was trying to breath evenly and slowly but troublesome she managed to do that. Her gaze wandered towards James, who's eyes seemed to look pleadingly at her for not causing such sore feeling again. "What's wrong?" he asked confusedly.
"I know that your Dad and I did a lot of things wrong in the past, but please believe me when I'm saying that we never stopped loving you."
"I know," he said mildly, even though it wasn't honest. He only said it to appease her, because the truth was that he already lost hope. He didn't keep faith with himself, his future, just with nothing.
"You should sleep, Mum..."
"Promise me to stay here? Will you be here when I wake up? I want to be sure that you're fine."
James nodded slowly.
"Promise."
"Good..." she said tiredly. His mother let go of his arm and laid back down. She closed her eyes involuntary because her body was much to exhausted. James observed her irregular breathing until she finally felt asleep again. Her head fell to the side and remained there. James gently pulled one wisp of brown hair from her face back behind her ears, looking lovingly into the clear face.
'Lilli is a lot like you, Mum... She's a good-hearted witch. She's raised to be good and she has a great family. She will have a good future one day and will be doing what ever will make her happy. There is no way for her to have such a thing with me. It would always be full of fear and darkness. It would only make her life miserable, like Dad did it with you. She didn't deserve that... It was the right thing, that she didn't want to be with me, when I asked her to. Melissa was right, you know. Lilli would have be decayed with me. I don't want that for her so... kept her away from me is the only good thing I'm doing with my life. I protect her...'
James leaned back against the wall, feeling how cold and hard it was. It was the same like his life. He turned his view again to the sky outside the window, observing one bright star shining down to him, when he finally closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Chapter 23 – Close to darkness II
James woke up again when the rays of the sun was shining through the window and ripped him out of his sleep. He woke up with a start, looking anxiously to the bed where his mother was laying. She was still asleep and they were still alone. Tricia hadn't come back and neither had his father. James breathed in deeply, closing his eyes again for one moment. He just wanted to be in this silence for one more second, before another excruciating day would pass. Every day with his family became that hard, became something he never wanted, something he wanted to escape from, but he couldn't anymore. He stood up and started to walk around the room. Normally, he would've left but his mother asked him yesterday to be there when she woke up, so he stayed and stopped at the window. His gaze was turned to the almost empty streets, where only a few Muggles were walking down. He watched the wind blew some leaves through the air past the window. Like they wanted to show that winter was coming and they had to left their tree. Winter was very cold in Britain, but James already felt cold inside. He doubted that it would made much of a difference.
After an eternity, at least it felt for him like that, it knocked on the door. Before he could even muttered anything, the door was opened and Tricia entered the room with a warm smile. Surprisingly, she wasn't alone but the one standing next to her was someone James had hoped to never see again.
"James," he heard the firm voice of Lucius Malfoy. His white hair underlined his cold and heartless appearance and even his perished eyes placed emphasis on his cruel expression. His whole attitude showed his greedy after power and viciousness. He was several years older than James and attended Hogwarts at the same time Patricia did and there was only one explanation for him being here in this room.
"Um, Lucius, could you give us a minute, please?" Tricia asked him with a shy smile.
"Of course. I'll be back in a minute."
He turned around and left, closing the door with a loud bang. Tricia tried to look confident at her brother, but he didn't respond and looked away. He didn't feel like smiling or giving any other feeling away. He actually expected something like this, because they got along so fine after Hogwarts and Malfoy was always hitting on her. Even if James had warned her, she would never have listened to him anyway. His sister was way to stubborn to listen to anyone else. It was just the same with himself.
"I should have told you sooner, I know... but... I never really had the opportunity to do so."
"How long are you guys dating?"
"A while," she answered gently. "But you know how Dad was thinking about the Malfoys. The same like he and Mum thought about the Kingcades. And you know, I thought if my little brother can do that, why shouldn't I? And who would both hate more than Lucius Malfoy?"
Tricia started to laugh but James didn't join in. He didn't feel like laughing, because he didn't like Malfoy as well and had quite reasons for that. Those were things, Tricia didn't know and he would never tell them to her.
"Are you happy with him?"
"Yes, I am. He gave me protection, you know. To be alone today, where a deatheater is around on every corner and dark magical people are hunting down white magical people, it was the best thing that could happen to me. To be with him, I mean."
'He's one of them, too, Tricia. Malfoy is a deatheater...'
He wanted to tell her, but he didn't. Somehow, he thought that she already knew that and that it was also the real reason she was with him, because he could protect her from his own people. James hoped that she was right about that.
"Did Dad know about this?"
"Why do you think we discuss that much? Surely not out of fun. How's Mum?"
"Sleeping."
"Was Healer Stradford already here to look at her?"
"No."
Because of his short answers, his sister seemed to notice that he wasn't in the mood of talking more than necessary, so she just nodded understandingly. She threw him a last smile before walking back to the door.
"I'll go search for my boy-friend."
"Okay."
His sister had just closed the door when his mother suddenly opened her eyes again, staring right at him. Her gaze was flimsy, as if they were about to be filled with tears. He didn't know what he should say, what wouldn't make her cry or didn't hurt her. Her gaze was telling him actually everything already. She also knew that Tricia was dating Malfoy the whole time.
"How are you?" he asked her to prevent the subject from being addressed. Sometimes, it was easier to ignore these things than to talk about it. Because then life would at least move on.
"Better... James... about Malfoy, I want you to know that -"
"Don't say it. I don't want to hear it."
"James, please -"
"No, I don't want to hear it. It didn't care about him and Tricia or you or Dad. Like you didn't care about me!" Those words just came out and he couldn't help it.
"That's not true! James, please -"
Before anyone could say something more, the door was opened again and Tricia and Malfoy entered the room along with the Healer.
"Maria?" She greeted her patient kindly.
"Mrs. Potter," Malfoy nodded and bend down his head slightly.
Malfoy, James and Tricia left the room for Stradford to examine the patient. James observed the flirting of them for a while, before turning away to the wall. It was much more interesting than them.
"James, Tricia!" their father called. He just ran towards them, since neither the daughter or the son made one step at him. Both threw him an indifferent look when he stopped in front of them. "How's your mother?"
"Healer Stradford is with her," James answered blankly. He managed very fast to shut his feelings away from his parents, no matter how deep that feeling was. They didn't care about him anyway. It didn't take long for Stradford to finally open the door again and letting them all in. She threw Michael Potter a surprised look when he walked passed her to rush at his wife's side. They hugged each other longingly, before he sat down next to her, holding her hand tightly.
"Maria? How are you?"
"Better," she said with a weak smile, but still eyeing her husband with a beloved look. James watched that scene passed, knowing that it was just acted for Malfoy and Stradford, because those two didn't know the truth about their marriage.
"You can rest at ease, Michael," Stradford said, before squeezing kindly his shoulder. "Maria made it again. The wounds are healing good, but I still want to keep her for observation. You can take her home in three days, of course only if nothing happened."
Mr. Potter laughed delightedly.
"That's great, Jeane. Thank you for everything."
"That's my job. I guess I won't disturb the family reunion any longer. See you."
She wasn't even out of the room when Mr. Potter threw a dark look at Malfoy, who didn't look so nicely back. Those were two men, who hated each other more than anyone else in the world and probably wished the worst misfortune on each other. One reason might be that the relationship of his enemy with his daughter were about to be serious and Mr. Potter seemed to hate every partner of his both children.
"Well, Mrs. Potter. I'm delighted to see that you're getting better. I'm sorry but I have to excuse myself. I still have a lot to do. I just wanted to bring Patricia," Malfoy said, looking snobbishly at her husband, while talking to her.
"And I'm very thankful for that to you," Tricia said gratefully, before leaning onto him to kiss him goodbye. They took their time to do that and James knew that it probably was intended to provoke his father like he, James, would've done it too. After Malfoy had left, Mr. Potter didn't wait a second to grab his daughter, letting go of his wife in that process. He straightened himself before her and looked as if he was about to explode.
"I thought I made it very clear to you that I don't want Malfoy in our life!"
"Well, you also made it very clear that you want me to do what you want as long as I live under your roof. I moved out which means that you lost every right to tell me what to do. Bad luck!"
"Tricia, Malfoy is-"
"I don't care about what you think of him. When will you accept that I already live my own life?"
"Never! You are my daughter!"
And their argument went on and one like that for hours, at least that's what it felt for James. Neither his mother or himself tried to interfere or gave a comment. Instead, they just continue to watch the other part of their family shouting at each other. James was sure that it had to be a charm onto the room or the people outside would've have already enter to watch. Finally, Patricia shock her head disbelievingly and grabbed her cloak.
"You know what? Go ahead and believe whatever you want to believe."
"Tricia!" He yelled out loud and firm.
"No! I'm not the little girl anymore. I'm a grown up and I can decide for myself who I date and who not! You don't have a say on this! I love Lucius Malfoy and we will stay together. Like it or not!"
She was about to open the door when Michael Potter shouted one last loud sentence at her.
"If you leave now, you don't have to come back! Ever! You won't be welcome in the Potter House anymore!"
Silence broke down and none of them dared to speak even one word. Everyone remained still to fully understand the threat the man had just gave away.
"O-Okay," Patricia stuttered and was the first to shake out of her rigidity. In the corner of her eyes, tears were finally appeared. She looked back, showing that she felt desperate and sorrow but also angry and lack of comprehension.
"You know where to find me," she said towards James and their mother. Without throwing a look to her father, she left, gently closing the door behind her. Michael Potter didn't hesitate to take his cloak and left as well. He didn't look back at his family nor did he spoke another word. This was what he always did whenever he ran away from problems. James and Maria remained back, but they also didn't change a word. After a while, James looked at his mother and stood up, taking his cloak as well.
"I think, I should go back to Hogwarts."
"That's right. You should go back... James? Please take care of yourself, okay?"
He needed some time to answer. Everytime he said goodbye to her, he had the strangest feeling that it was the last time and that she was going to disappear from his life. James knew that he didn't have to take care of himself. There was enough other people who're doing that for him. Jaivenko, his own godfather, Dumbledore, his friends, Melissa, Anna... But his mother was alone. Nobody took care of her, not his father, not her family, not her friends.
"I will..." he said blankly.
"Good," she said in a very gently voice. A voice, that could only come from a loving mother. She loved her children, but they've forgotten how to love back. James remembered the time, when everything was different, where they were still a happy family and didn't have to play that. Why was life that cruel to them? Did they probably even stand on the wrong side in this war? Those were painful doubts.
"Take care, Mum."
With those words he stood up and walked away. He would go back to Hogwarts, far away from the problems, which he was confronted with at home. Those were things, he wasn't interested in anymore. He would never open his heart for them again. He would never care about if his father care about his mother or not, like he would never care about if Tricia was about to disappear from his life for good. It didn't matter to him, what would happen with his family up till now. There was only one thing that mattered to him and that was his friends.
AT THE HOGWARTS GROUNDS
If Lilli thought thoroughly about it, she had expected to hang out alone again these days and this time, really alone. Diana and Remus tried the whole time to act as if they were just close friends, not more and avoiding Lilli in that process. The only one buying this was Peter.
But in fact, everything happened differently.
At lunch hour, she decided to sat down at the meadow to eat alone and study a little bit for potion. She just sat down and opened her book when suddenly a girl and 3 boys were sitting down at her side. Sirius, Remus, Peter and Anna took their place around her with their lunch placing in front of them.
"Man!" Sirius started to grunt, while laying down in the middle of the group. "Could anyone please tell me how Jaivenko managed to speak like a deatheater after having dinner with a dementor?"
"It's hardly her fault, if you are too dumb to understand her," Anna defended their teacher with a big grin, while eating her strawberry bun. "At least I understand her perfectly."
"Because you already know everything and not because she explain it to you."
"Is it my fault, that I'm not as retarded as you?"
"Maybe I'm just too smart for her?"
" Really inventive."
"I'm one of a kind!"
"Yeah, concerning stupidity."
"Don't you guys wanna give it a rest?" Remus asked, making an unbelievable grimace.
"No!" both answered simultaneously. Lilli couldn't help but laugh at their face, which couldn't be more similar to each other.
"You really want to go that far as to rip off each other's head?"
"Moonylie," Sirius said smirking, while waving negatively with his forefinger in front of his friend's face. "Anna could never rip my head off. She loves me too much for that."
"What?" she asked loudly amused and gave an arrogant "Ha" away. "Why in the world should I love such an elephant head? A cockroach has more power of attraction than you."
"And here I thought you are a Witch and not a parasite insect."
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"
"Ups! Damn it!"
Sirius jumped up in an instant and ran away as fast as he could, because only one moment later, a hopping mad and ready to kill Anna White was chasing him. Lilli threw Remus a puzzled look, but he only shrugged, still grinning broadly.
"It was bound to happen. Strangely, they got even harder on each other's throat if James isn't here."
"Yeah, I notice that," she said, smilingly observing Sirius running extremely daffy away from the friend, who tried to hex furuncle at his butt. But he always managed to jump away just in time, hid behind a tree and beckoned her over.
"Come on! Come on!" he said comically.
"Siriuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus!" Anna bellowed angry everytime he did that, while chasing him through half of the Hogwarts grounds. He didn't seem to grow tired of running daffy away from her, while barking laughingly. In fact, it was just luck that he was faster than her. He had a lot of practice since his Animagus form was a dog and therefore gave him a lot of advantage over the friend.
"You and Anna get along fine, as I can tell now."
Lilli looked back to Remus in surprise.
"What do you mean?" she asked bewildered.
"Well, I know you both for some time now. In the last time, you two are much more heartily with each other. Anna was even okay with searching for you to eat lunch. Normally, she refused with tooth and nail and rather searched for Melissa. Sirius and I used to draw her with us but today she didn't even need to be persuaded. Only said okay after we told her we would looking for you at the meadow."
Lilli couldn't help but smiling delightedly. She liked Anna because she liked her appearance and her character. She was glad to find out that Anna wasn't an arrogant bitch, everyone else claimed she was. Well, she also wasn't what people would call normal, but Lilli liked that on her and found that part rather funny.
"You're worried about James, aren't you?" he asked caring.
"Yeah, I do. I can't get rid of the feeling that something is wrong."
"So do I..."
"Really?" she asked surprised, but Remus only nodded slightly.
"I'm worried, too. But James can take care of himself, so I'm not worried sick."
"Well, in that case..."
Lilli didn't know that Remus was playing at the full-moon nights, they were hanging out together, but she believed and trusted him. With one plunge, Sirius and Anna sat back down to them. Both were completely short of breath, gasping.
"Pause?" Remus asked giggly. Both couldn't do anything but only nod and gulp.
"Well, seemed like we're getting a bit long in the tooth, aren't we?" Lilli laughed without even thinking and regretted it just one second later, because Anna as well as Sirius narrowed their eyes at her and then looking knowingly at each other.
"She didn't really say that, did she?" he asked her meaningfully.
"Yes, she did," Anna said in the same voice.
"Ups -" Lilli said, hold off for only one second before jumping to her feet and ran away. Anna and Sirius didn't hesitate to chase her. Remus couldn't help but laughing, because funny enough, Lilli was way faster then both of them. He had the slight suspicion that they withheld on purpose, so Lilli would let herself be hunted by them and therefore sidetracked her from her worries about James. It became obvious that Lilli enjoyed that.
It also became clear that Anna and Sirius could sometimes be really gormless, especially if they talked about or better argued about issues, nobody else even care about. A lot like on that evening they were talking about the most meaningless topic one could imagine.
"No, there are 299 steps to the transfiguration classroom."
"You're wrong, Sirius! There are 301 steps."
"I counted them thousand times."
"I counted them thousand and one time!"
"And you counted thousand and one time wrong!"
"Oh, dream on you dried raisin."
"Are we hungry, slobber brain?"
"That's rich, coming from you or who is the glutton? I don't have time for those tiffs anyway. I've to do rounds with Lilli, got that?!"
"Yes, Ma'am!" Sirius said, pretending to be shocked about her commanding tone. A familiarly laugh broke up their discussion and with a look to the side they spotted who laughed at them. James!
"Never going to change, don't you?"
The group started to laugh with him, because he was absolutely right and also because they were rather relieved to have him back, safe and sound. Lilli was at ease to know that her feeling was wrong and she got him back.
"Yo, Prongs!" Sirius shouted. "Great to have you back! Our little Miss-Wannabe-Future-Dictator also known as Your-selfmade-surrogate-Head Boy was about to snitch your job – owie!"
"Jerk!" Anna hissed after punching him on the back of his head with her fist.
"You do know that it hurts, don't you? Soon enough, there won't be any brain cells left for you to be punched out."
"As if there ever existed any."
James sat down next to Lilli at the couch, seemingly searching for somebody at the group.
"Where is Lissy?"
'Of course, he asked for her first...' Lilli though desperately.
"Upstairs," Anna answered and winked at him. "She's waiting for you."
"Well, then... Anna, could you take over for me one last time?"
"Of course."
"Ey, Prongs! I could take over for you, too!" Sirius said at once, but James just threw him a smugly grin, before standing up to go upstairs.
"Of course, Pad, but I can't do that to Lilli."
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" he howled offended, but James was already on his way. Anna started to twit.
"Hey, not fair!" he heard Sirius voice, but didn't catch what his friends did after that. James knocked on the door to the boys dorm before opening it carefully. Melissa sat cross-legged at his bed on the floor. Her eyes were glassy and showed that she had cried. He closed the door and sat down next to her.
"I'm sorry," he said gently. Melissa just leaned her head on his shoulder, so James threw his arm around her to pull her to his chest, kissing her tightly at the head. For a long time, they didn't do anything but sitting there and holding onto each other.
He didn't know how many time passed, when he finally heard footsteps closing in. Sirius and the others were about to enter the room.
"You wanna go to bed?" he whispered tenderly, feeling how she nodded at his shoulder. He pulled her mildly up with him and they climbed into the bed. He closed the curtains and they laid down together. Melissa embraced his body as tight as she could.
"James?"
"Yes?"
"Never leave me again..."
"I promise, Lissy. I promise... I'm sorry."
"I love you, James. I can't bear the thought of losing you... or that something could ever happen to you."
"It's okay..." he whispered, putting his finger onto her soft lips. For one moment, he looked into those sparkle blue eyes and started to smile in love. She needed him and he needed her. They kept each other alive at this mean world and they gave each other the support the other one needed. He laid down on her and kissed her passionately at her lips.
"I love you, Lissy."
'How could I leave you, when we need each other so much? I love you, I know that. Unfortunately, I don't love you as much as you deserved to be loved. I thought I closed that thing up with Lilli. Friendship should be all I wanted to feel for her, but I kissed her and I liked it. I know, that she likes me, too and you know that I like her as well as she likes me. You always knew that. That's the reason you don't like her, isn't it? You are scared that I would leave you? I would never do that. I gave you a promise, don't you remember? I keep my promises, like you kept yours. I will always be with you. Always.'
