Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall,
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow...
A Thousand Years – Christina Perri
.oOo.
One step closer
Carlisle
The moment my Isabella had thrown herself within my arms, my very reason for existing seemed to sum itself up within that single heartbeat. She had looked so relieved to see me, so happy. What had brought about this uncertainty within her?
She was acting as if she had not seen me in such a long time... Or as if she had not expected to see me at all.
Her arms around my torso was tight within their grip, her gentle sobs bringing the reality that my heart's desire was longing for me as I longed for her. She continued to sob against my chest, her flushed face rubbing against my shirt as her hold tightened. "You're all right," she said, her throat tight with emotion as she snuggled herself deeper within my arms. "You're all right..."
I held her closer, unsure as to what had brought about this torrent of emotion that now gripped her. "Of course I'm all right," I said, pulling away slightly to get a better look at her. "I had sworn to you that I would be safe." I tucked a finger beneath her chin and lifted her face so that I could look into her beautiful brown eyes. "Isabella, what are you doing here? How did you find your way here?"
Isabella reached up to grasp her hand in mine and rubbed a flushed cheek against my fingers, looking content to simply stand there to feel me. "Lucy brought me. I was so worried about you, I could not focus properly on my duties. I finally had gotten to the point that I had almost went on my own to find you. I had to see that you were all right with my own eyes..."
"Isabella, it is dangerous in the streets for a man let alone a young woman. You could have placed yourself in danger."
"I know," she said in reply, a fond smile touching her lips. "Lucy had caught me before I could steal away and reprimanded me. She understood my worry for you though and had come up with an ingenious scheme for me to see you."
"Ah," I said, giving a nod in understanding. "Lady Penington has made her monthly visit." I caught the look of confusion on her beautiful face and my lips turned up in amusement. "Lady Penington is well known in these parts but not by her true vocation." I pulled my hand away from her face and grasped her hand in my own. I pulled her along the little path to a wooden bench that faced the doorways of the church and my home.
I sat down upon it, pulling her down beside me. "Lucy is a widow. She had been born into a household very well off despite her roots. Her father was, and still is, a well known thief among those in the slums. He had gained enough of a fortune for himself, and those associated with him, that he had risen out of that place. He had made a home here among the upper class and is simply known as a well off merchant. He had married into a well-to-do family and Lucy was the product of that union. Lucy herself had married a gentleman who was well respected in these parts. Sadly, he was taken from her after the good Lord had called upon him. After that, Lucy had moved to the the place of her father's birth, she felt that it was her calling to care for those who were unfortunate to know death in a daily basis." I had continued to hold onto her hand, caressing the soft, creamy skin against within my own callused ones. She was listening to the story of her dearest friend with rapt attention, the tears in those doe brown eyes pulling at my heart strings. My Isabella had such a big heart. I smiled and lifted her hand to kiss it. "Her father comes often to the church to confess his sins and Lucy is a regular monthly visitor as well."
"So that is where she goes when she disappears on those days," Isabella muttered, a thoughtful look appearing on her face. "I never would have guessed, though I had my suspicions from today's trip here. Oh Lucy..." I could see that the love she bore for our dear Lucy had only grown after hearing her tale.
My love for my darling Isabella could only grow more from the mere thought of her limitless heart. She cared for those around her in a way that not many did: Unwavering, pure, and strong. After telling the tale of Lucy's loss, I could not help but feel a slight panic well up within me.
"Isabella," I said as I pulled a little on her hand, that little action causing her to cast those beautiful eyes toward mine. I turned slightly so that I could face her properly, my heart swelling with this overwhelming love for this woman beside me.
How had I lived before she came into my life? I could not recall a single day before hand of ever feeling any degree of happiness before she had looked upon me and whispered my name. It was here, in the little churchyard among the fall herbs and flowers, that I decided to never find out how. She was here with me now.
With the life I had lived so far, and the knowledge and experience I had gained, I knew that every moment was fleeting and brief and should be treasured. I knew that no matter where she was from, no matter how she knew my name that first day, I was irrevocably in love with her.
No, not in love.
Love was too weak of a word to describe this strong, incessant, link that pulsed between us, aching to be bound and joined. Even with love, you could lose it and still move on in life. My father had known and experienced a bond like that between Isabella and me. He had known it with Mother and when he had lost her...
I did not want to lose my moments with the other half of my soul. My Isabella...
"Isabella," I began again, feeling the strength to continue when I felt her hand squeeze mine. "My Isabella... My beauty... I do not want to live knowing that I might lose you. I love you dearly. Be it tomorrow or sixty years from now, I would die happily with the knowledge that I had the privilege and the honor to have you by my side as my wife. Would you consider it?" I studied her expression, trying to see what she thought of my proposal. It was rather abrupt and I had not courted her properly nor had I asked her father or family for their blessing. However, she had no family here and she did not mention anything of her life before emerging from the Thames...
The tears in her eyes was a sign I was not expecting to see but the smile that lit her face was breathtaking and her breath began to hitch as she started to cry. "C-Carlisle..." She closed her eyes and shook her head for a moment, looking as if she was debating with herself. I felt my heart began to sink and released her hand, casting my gaze away... Maybe I had been to presumptuous?
I felt her hands quickly snatch mine in response and she pulled on me urgently, almost desperately. "Yes," she said after a moment's silence. "Yes, I would." Her eyes were sparkling from the tears that now fell down her flushed cheeks and she moved so quickly I could not react. Her lips had found my mine and she kissed me with a fervent need before releasing pressing her lips against the side of my neck. "I love you. I love you so... No matter what the future holds, we have this moment. This present that has been given as a gift to us is what we have. We should treasure it."
I held wrapped my arms around her and held her close against me, the relief flowing through me at the knowledge that she agreed to my proposal. I ran a hand over her mahogany hair and studied her under the light of the sun that filtered down through the clouds above. Under that light, she looked like an angel. She looked relieved, as if whatever had placed doubts within her mind had been swept aside. She looked as happy as I felt and I could not help but feel relieved as well.
"It would seem that you were correct Lady Penington," a familiar, male voice had spoken from the doorway and Isabella and I both jumped apart at the sound of it. "It would seem as if my son has found his wife." We looked to see that my father was standing just beyond the doorway to our home and Lucy was standing beside him with a sparkle of amusement shining in her eyes.
"Father," I said in greeting as I stood up from the bench, keeping hold of Isabella's hand as I pulled her up gently with me. She rose without hesitation but remained close against my side as she saw my father for the first time. "Lady Penington, it is a pleasure to see you again."
"Carlisle," Lucy said in reply, her smile now showing. "I see that you had found our Isabella. Good, it will make this meeting much shorter." She glanced at Isabella and her smile grew warm before she looked once again at me. "I was speaking with your father about your relationship with my niece. I told him of your courting her these two months and of my blessing to your request of betrothal." She turned to my father, ignoring the shocked look that must have shown upon my face, and looked at my him expectantly.
My father looked as stoic as ever but he there seemed to be a spark of something in his eyes as he looked between Isabella and me. It was that shadow, that unseen life that danced in his eyes when he looked upon Mother's portrait. Did he see himself and my mother within us? That bond that had been between them and that is now between Isabella and me... Did he recognize it?
After a few moments of silence, he cleared his throat and looked away from us. He turned his gaze to Lucy and gave a nod. "Very well then. You have my blessing." He turned back to us and, for an instant, the blank look upon his face softened and the corners of his lips turned up into what could have been a smile. My father... he was smiling...
"Welcome, Isabella Penington, to our family..."
.oOo.
Thank you for the alerts and favs and to my reviewers: the swiss miss, GracefulDemon, Paull1jess, Conan in love, Ivorygirl1990, mgomgo5473 and especially erythra-selena, whose story Panta Rhei is one of my favorites.
I apologize for the short update. I did not have secure internet connection for awhile so I could not risk getting my computer harmed. I'll try and update sooner but real life is demanding.
Thank you all and much love.
