Cold Moon, Bright Star
By bloodredrosez
February 17, 2019
Author's Notes: Well, I hope there are still some people reading this! This was way more difficult to write than I expected, so I'm sorry for the very long wait. I think it's actually easier to write a whole story from scratch than to do the patchwork stuff I've been doing. I had a hard time figuring out how much from the drama I want to keep and how many changes I need to make so that what I'm planning will work. For example, Yuwen Yue and Chu Qiao's conversation at the Icy Lake was a critical moment and I thought it was one of the best pieces of screenwriting in the latter half of the drama, but I didn't want to just rehash it all again. The same goes for Chu Qiao's split with Yan Xun. I hope it isn't too confusing for you guys, because I realize that you may have forgotten those parts. It's just tricky to build off a plot that had so many holes toward the end.
"Right, as the world goes, is only in question between equals in power, while the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must." – Thucydides
Frozen Heart
Over a decade ago, three boys had once sat together at a long desk, each dark head bent dutifully over a classical text. By palace standards, the imperial classrooms were plain and utilitarian, with only the quality of the carved wooden decorations on the walls to distinguish it from the servants' quarters. The particular study room they were in had been designed so that there was nothing to distract the young students from their very important lessons.
Still, the boys had been left unsupervised as the result of some prior mischief with the ailing Grand Tutor, so it was only a matter of time before the quiet was broken. Naturally, it was Yan Xun who turned to Yuwen Yue first.
"Five pages to turn in tomorrow!" he complained. "We should have put the mallow in his tea before he assigned it to us. How far are you?"
Chinese mallow was a natural laxative, as Yuwen Yue had learned recently during his other lessons, the ones meant to prepare him to inherit the Eyes of God. Yan Xun hadn't questioned where he had gained the knowledge, having gotten used to Yuwen Yue handily ending up at the top of the class, even though it was considered dangerous to show up the royal princes too often.
The best of the royal princes was sitting next to them anyway. The seventh prince, Yuan Che—otherwise to be addressed as Prince Xiang—had not been part of their experiment with the mallow tea, so Yuwen Yue shot Yan Xun a warning look to watch what he said.
"If you actually applied yourself, you would be done already," Prince Xiang said mildly, not even bothering to look at either of them. "It's not like it's philosophy. The Right of Rebellion and the Mandate of Heaven are the most basic concepts of governance."
Though he wanted to defend Yan Xun, Yuwen Yue had to agree. After all, the three of them were sitting in this room precisely because they were the descendants of powerful families who had wrested control from the previous dynasty and established themselves as the ruling class. While many of their lessons involved rote memorization of classics, a task that Yuwen Yue hated with a passion, this was one assignment that actually had made sense. After all, how could they be expected to maintain power in the future if they didn't understand where their power came from in the first place?
But Yan Xun scowled down at the manuscript as if the characters personally offended him. "It doesn't even make sense. What actually determines who has the Mandate of Heaven? If a rebellion against the emperor is successful, then it's supposed to be evidence that divine approval has passed to the successive dynasty. But if it isn't successful, it's just treason. So whether one has obtained or lost the Mandate of Heaven just comes down to whoever wins, not whoever was in the right."
Prince Xiang sighed. "There's your misunderstanding, then. Heaven wouldn't allow the overthrow of a worthy ruler, ergo any overthrow proves that they weren't worthy."
Yan Xun groaned. "That's just talking in circles and justifying the action from the result. I mean, it's not logical. The people who win aren't always the ones who should win. There have been successful rebellions that led to even worse rulers, so how can that be Heaven's will?"
"Nevertheless, that is the cornerstone of how power is attained in this world," Prince Xiang said as if patiently explaining it to a child, though he was only a few years older than them. "Your father and mine chose to stand together. Because of their alliance, my father gained and kept control of the Wei empire. As the natural reward for his loyalty, your father became Duke of Yanbei. If it had not been a just rebellion, how could they have won?"
"By having a better army?" Yan Xun retorted.
"Well, 'the winner becomes a king, the loser becomes an outlaw,'" Yuwen Yue reminded him. It was a popular saying and one that even uneducated children knew.
"So what system of justice is that?" Yan Xun tapped the bamboo scroll in front of him with annoyance. "The only thing this political treatise proves is that the powerful can do whatever they want, including finding justifications for how they got so powerful in the first place."
Yuwen Yue bit back a sigh. The problem wasn't that Yan Xun didn't understand what they were studying, it was that he was just…too idealistic to accept it. From the beginning, he always seemed to believe that his family had earned their power because of some kind of moral responsibility toward the common citizens, not taken it out of ambition.
"Maybe that's the real lesson for you then," said Prince Xiang, the edge of his mouth curling into a slight smile. "Justice is also a concept determined by the victors."
Yuwen Yue knew exactly how and why he had come to be sitting in this room, rather than laboring in the fields as a peasant or washing dishes as a palace slave. He could trace the history of his family back for generations and recount every step and misstep they had taken toward their current position in the hierarchy of power. So could Prince Xiang—after all, no male child of the Emperor's line would have survived to his current age if they had been naïve about being born into privilege.
So maybe it was because Yan Xun was from Yanbei, where gap between the powerful and the powerless was less stark. The Yanbei prince had often told him that in his homeland, there were no slaves. Tribal life was brutal in many ways, but Yan Xun had always spoken of Yanbei as if the simple structure of life in Chang'an was unfathomable to him. The other scions of the nobility, like his worthless cousin Yuwen Huai, resented Yan Xun for his attitude. They thought the prince was trying to lord his royal status over them by constantly elevating his barbarian ways over their civilized rules. Only Yuwen Yue understood that Yan Xun sincerely thought his people lived better lives.
But that belief wouldn't do him any good for this assignment. Yan Xun's inability to really understand his own privilege made him more sympathetic to others in some ways. He was, by far, the kindest to his servants and slaves. But Yuwen Yue thought that in another way, it also made Yan Xun the most arrogant of them all, because at least they were aware of how little (and how much) separated master and slave.
Inspired by that thought, he tried to make his friend understand. "Think of it this way, Yan Xun. What exactly makes you a prince of Yanbei and Ah Ling the servant who washes your clothes? If that isn't the will of Heaven, what makes your family any better than his?"
For a moment, Yan Xun was visibly taken aback. "My family rules Yanbei because we are the leaders of our people. Of course I'm different from Ah Ling. Can you compare the role of a leader to that of a follower? The responsibilities, the expectations, the duties—"
"But you were born to it," Yuwen Yue pointed out. "So the Mandate of Heaven is no different than your birthright. It is something easy for people to understand and accept. If you lose the support of those you rule, if there is a successful revolt by your people, then it is a sign you are not fit to rule."
The logic still didn't sit well with Yan Xun, but Yuwen Yue had made his point. The uncomfortable truth was that empires rose and fell not on the strength of morality, but on the strength of victory.
Prince Xiang shook his head at Yan Xun's disgruntlement. "Did the people choose you? Did the gods? Never forget that you are a prince of Yanbei only because your family wrested power from the ruling family before it. The one lesson you must learn is that all else is a pretty fiction—for others to believe. Not you. You cannot have that luxury."
It was an apt statement from a prince who had seen too many of his half brothers die in mysterious—and sometimes not so mysterious—circumstances, all victims of the vicious power struggles in palace politics.
The memory of that long ago conversation was disturbingly fresh in Yuwen Yue's mind as he looked over the short letter before him. The dancing flames of the lantern threw shadows over the hastily written characters, softening the evidence of drastic change. It was much shorter than the previous letter he had received from Yuan Che—that one had warned of Yuan Chun's manipulation of their younger half brother Yuan Yang and her designs to take control of the throne. The fruits of her plotting were evident now.
Yuan Chun attempted to poison our royal father. He is very weak, but still alive. The succession is still unclear, but my royal father trusts me. He has placed me in control of all military and government affairs. I have enough support to lead, for now.
The message ended on that ominous note. Official news of Chun'er's capital crime hadn't reached Yanbei yet, but they would soon, despite Prince Xiang's best efforts to keep a tight rein on the chaos that must be overtaking the imperial court.
Yuwen Yue tried not to curse the princess for having made her move, but could it have been any more disastrous? The consequences of her actions were just enough to throw the entire empire into turmoil, but yet not quite enough to usher in a better, more stable ruler. The seventh prince, Prince Xiang, was more of an ally than a close friend, but he was both more capable and more honorable than any of the alternatives, and certainly a far worthier prospect for emperor than the underage Yuan Yang.
But once his initial dismay had passed, Yuwen Yue began to plot. Though this turn of events had been unexpected, it could be used to their advantage. Prince Xiang was far more reasonable than the emperor—he, at least, could be persuaded to end the war on Yanbei and broker a peace, at least if and when the threat from Yan Xun had ended. As long as Yan Xun and his leading generals were stopped in their warmongering, Yuwen Yue felt reasonably certain that Prince Xiang would not pursue additional harsh measures for all the death and destruction the Black Eagle army had caused on their rebellion and attempt to take Chang'an.
In order to stop a conflict that never should have started, he had to balance the Wei side with the Yanbei side into a stalemate—he had to make it too costly for the war to continue. Whatever else Yuan Chun had done, she had at least brought the Wei war efforts to a halt, now that all eyes were on the ailing emperor and the internal politics of the imperial court had been stirred to a peak.
Yan Xun was probably fuming at the news. He would want to take personal revenge on the emperor, and Chun'er had almost stolen that from him—never mind that the princess had just as much reason to hate her father as he did. Despite all the things Yuan Chun had done, and even after she had nearly killed Chu Qiao in her misguided need for revenge, Yuwen Yue still felt sorry for her. There was nothing he could do to help Chun'er, but at least he knew Yuan Che would find a way to spare her life.
The lines had become increasingly blurred on both sides. They were all walking on a knife's edge, and no one more so than Chu Qiao. When Meng Feng had reported that a masked person had freed their captured spies and saved their lives, they had both known exactly who it had been.
But did Yan Xun still trust Chu Qiao? It was clear that General Cheng Yuan was just waiting for an opportunity to make his move against her. Even though Yuwen Yue had ordered his spies to watch over the Xiuli troop, he still worried incessantly. He Xiao and those soldiers were Chu Qiao's greatest weakness and Cheng Yuan was crafty enough to take advantage of it. He had to get rid of Cheng Yuan, and soon. Yuwen Yue's greatest regret in the last month was leaving Cheng Yuan injured but still alive after his assassination attempt on Yuan Song. The Yanbei war hawk deserved one of his specialized arrows to the heart, not just to his leg.
Just as Yuwen Yue mused over his new plan to take down the general, he was interrupted. With his usual prescient timing, Yue Qi hailed him, but he was not alone. One look at his team and he knew things had taken a turn for the worse, again.
"Young master." Meng Feng's greeting was perfunctory. "Yan Xun is trying to get rid of the Xiuli troop. Cheng Yuan went to send He Xiao and his soldiers to Xiuli mountain, to be integrated into the regular army. But when He Xiao refused to rise to his bait, he provoked the Xiuli men into revolting by trying to destroy their ensign."
Yue Qi paced in front of them both in his agitation. "That bastard Cheng Yuan is just using this to try to take down Xing'er! The men were fighting but we didn't know what to do—and Yan Xun is on his way there right now—"
"Do not get involved," Yuwen Yue interrupted with icy calm, though he wanted to curse as well. "Let me take care of it."
Only Chu Qiao's intervention could save her men now, which was exactly what Cheng Yuan wanted. With each crisis, he tested Yan Xun's loyalty and belief in her. With no time to lose, Yuwen Yue scrawled out a hasty message, hating that they had no choice but to play out their roles as Cheng Yuan had planned.
"Meng Feng, get this to Xing'er right away."
* O * O * O *
She could never forgive Yan Xun. She no longer recognized who he was, no longer trusted in what he would and would not do.
It was hard to say when these realizations finally crystallized in her mind. Maybe she had already known in that moment when she turned away from Yan Xun and rode over the bodies of her men, the cold rain mingling with her warm tears. They were the last ones she shed; the rest she swallowed down with her bitter grief.
Maybe it was when she heard Yan Xun's cowardly apology to her from outside of her room and saw his shadow against the window screen.
At that time, she had wanted to rage and scream at him. How could he do this? Even when he had used the people as Hong Chuan as bait and sacrifice for his campaign on Chang'an, she had been powerless to argue with his military strategy, as cruel as it had been. But this—this proved that she had been a fool to think that he cared at all about keeping his vow to the Xiuli soldiers. He had broken every promise, had used them and betrayed them over and over again.
Maybe her realization had come when, after so many days reliving the events in her mind, she finally admitted to herself why he had done it. Xan Yun held no particular animosity toward the Xiuli troops, despite his proclamations about their untrustworthiness and former mistakes. But he had targeted the Xiulis, or rather, had let Cheng Yuan target them, not actually because of anything about them, but because of her.
All those men had died for nothing more than Yan Xun's need to keep control over her.
It was this thought that kept circling in her head as Zhong Yu bid her farewell and apologized for not speaking up for the Xiulis. The other woman was voluntarily going into exile with Wu Daoya. To think that the man who had orchestrated Yan Xun's escape from captivity and return to Yanbei would now be branded a traitor…it was as if everything she knew had gone topsy turvy. Her faith in her understanding of the world was shaken to its core.
But after the bitter disappointment came a rush of anger. Even if Yan Xun was the cause, how could she not blame herself for not having realized who he really was? If someone, raising a tiger as if it were only a tame cat, found out later that the tiger had eaten the children of the village, whose fault was it really? Her fury at the situation propelled her forward when she confronted Cheng Yuan's lackey and forced him to tell her where the Xiuli Army had gone.
As soon as she heard that He Xiao had led them outside of the city to the Icy Lake, she knew that it was a trap of some kind—though she wasn't sure for whom it was set. Cheng Yuan was devious and what better way to take care of two birds with one stone than by sending the Xiuli troops to patrol areas where Wei soldiers would ambush them.
She couldn't believe that she had once explained her relationship with Yan Xun to Mo'er in such naïve terms. How sanctimonious she had been when she declared that she would always support and understand him, because she had witnessed firsthand how he had suffered. Looking back, she felt ridiculous when she recalled how she had told the child that he could take the path of revenge, but before you do anything wrong, I will find a way to stop you.
Yuan Song's stinging criticisms came back to haunt her. He was right. Her own arrogance and self-righteousness had blinded her to so much. She had always been a resolute person, but her inflexibility and unflinching support had made her complicit in all the wrong things. She, far more than anyone else, had enabled Yan Xun.
Everybody in the world can leave me, betray me, forsake me. But you can't.
Chu Qiao ground her teeth, feeling the words jar through her body more than the jolting trot of her horse over the uneven, dangerous mountain terrain. Her breath puffed out in cold clouds as she neared the Icy Lake, but anger kept her warm. What did he think she was, a loyal dog? A prized possession, given the label of general for show, a position that he was so very quick to strip away as soon as he felt threatened, as soon as it no longer amused him…?
She had put him above everyone else in her life. She had chosen to follow him because she had believed that he had needed her. What he had needed was her blind, stupid loyalty.
I need you, too. Can you feel it?
She had even put aside her feelings in order to support Yan Xun, telling herself that although she couldn't fully return his romantic interest, their friendship and yes, love, was more than strong enough to sustain them through any hardships.
It was only now, riding alone into danger, that she admitted to herself just how much she had let herself be used—how skillfully, in fact, Yan Xun had used everyone around him. From the moment he had returned to Yanbei, he had become a slave to power. He had cast a suspicious eye to Zhong Yu, Mr. Wu, and herself. One by one he had turned his back on them, to the point that his order to send Mr. Wu into exile was supposedly a generous reprieve from execution. He was a wild dog, turning to bite at the hands that once fed him.
The only reason it had taken this long for Chu Qiao to act was because she didn't want to believe it. She had taken his dream as her own. Yan Xun's well being, his rise in power, his safety and comfort had been the one most important thing in her heart for all those years.
Even Yuwen Yue had understood it all too clearly. Whatever her feelings may have been, she had put Yan Xun's needs before his, and before her own. She had even been proud of her steadfastness. Nothing else, no one else had been as important to her as Yan Xun.
On the shores of a frozen lake, the entire world dusted in pure, blinding white, she looked at the austere beauty of the ice and snow and could no longer lie to herself. It was like waking from a very long, exhausting dream.
Chu Qiao could not remain true to him, if she wanted to remain true to herself.
* O * O * O *
Once he sent Yue Qi away on an excuse to protect Meng Feng, there were no more pretenses between them. Yuwen Yue and Chu Qiao stood alone together before the Icy Lake, a heavy silence between them broken only by the faint crackling of ice. Around the bend of the shore, a little ways from them, Yuwen Yue's Wei soldiers and He Xiao's Xiuli men watched each other in an uneasy truce.
They were two steps apart, he estimated. Seeing her again somehow only increased his longing for her, as if the closer she was to him physically, the farther the distance between them in other ways. He could almost reach out and touch her, but he kept his arms still by his sides, though not without a brief and silent struggle.
He could see the subtle signs of misery on Xing'er, though she held her head high as she had always done, whether she was an iron bell maid or a Yanbei general. Her eyes were still so bright, though no longer with hope. Instead, they glistened with tears she was too resolute to shed. Yuwen Yue watched her as she knelt and gazed unseeingly over the glossy, unmoving surface of the lake. He listened silently as she poured her heart out to him. Her voice was soft, but the words she murmured were filled with so much grief and hurt. How long had she kept all these thoughts locked up within her, unable to confide in anyone?
All her struggles and fears, she confessed to him. He knew how hard it was for her to share her doubts with him. Even now, though her eyes expressed a hundred feelings, she knelt with her back as straight as an arrow, her slim figure in gray and black almost blending in with their harsh surroundings.
There was something in her posture that made him think of her as being infinitely fragile in this moment, as brittle as ice. Yuwen Yue gazed at her back and thought that with only one touch, one kindness, she might break apart in front of him. He wanted so much to draw her into his arms, to gather her close and rest her head on his chest, but that was not what she needed.
Xing'er needed hope. She needed strength, not comfort. She needed to know that there was still a path forward, and she could find her way to it, if only one step at a time.
"Do you have regrets?" he asked.
She did not respond for so long, he almost thought she might not. "I am only a little tired."
He understood all that she didn't say. How could he not? Regrets were useless things, only weighing you down when you needed to move forward. It hurt to see her holding herself together with such thin threads, her despair deeper and colder than the lake. But she hadn't come here for his pity.
"Then rest awhile until you have the strength to go on." Yuwen Yue had never considered himself to be a naturally skilled speaker—all his ability had come from dedicated study and practice. But for her, he felt that he would always be able to find all the right things to say. Though he kept his voice even and steady, his advice practical rather than uplifting, he could see it bolstering her spirit little by little.
"Why do you tell me these things?" she asked when he had finally run out of words. "Don't you want to convince me not to return to Yanbei?"
"I won't try to persuade you of anything you don't want to do." He recalled Meng Feng's report of how Xing'er had rode away in the rain after Yan Xun had killed the Xiuli men. The former assassin had questioned why he didn't just go take her away, when he knew she was so unhappy. But things were so much more complicated than that.
She looked at him with dark, unfathomable eyes. "If I told you now that I will stay with Yan Xun until the end, you wouldn't wish for me to leave him?"
"What I wish for myself does not matter that much." She had been the one who had taught him that. He had lived with ambition his entire life and yet the years during which he had thought she was gone forever had made him realize so many things. "I might want you to stay by my side, but what I hope for even more is that you can follow your own desires and live in happiness."
Her shoulders stiffened and then Xing'er turned away, overcome. They could talk about the execution of her men and Cheng Yuan's backstabbing moves; they could bring up all the lives lost from the war and how Hong Chuan city had been a sacrificial pawn. They could even talk about her disillusionment and how Yanbei was not what she had imagined. But this topic was too painful to touch.
"What if I don't know what I desire any more?" This was the lonely and secret fear she held buried inside of her, the walls she built around it threatening to crack under the pressure now. "His men all call me Yan Xun's woman, but I…"
"Xing'er," he cut her off helplessly as hope and jealousy surged through him. Half of him wanted her to finish what she was saying, but the other half violently rebelled at the thought of what it could be. Despite the reassurances he had just given her, he would have to be a man of stone to not react to the thoughts that filled his mind. He had heard the many rumors, how could he have not? Though the army pilfered supplies and the citizens starved, there was still enough wealth left over for coffers full of extravagant betrothal gifts and enough fine red cloth for a royal wedding. Her supporters said that Yan Xun was planning to take her as his queen. Even those who hated her were sure he would at least make her his royal concubine.
His heart shuddered hard at the thought of Xing'er in Yan Xun's arms…Xing'er in Yan Xun's bed. Visions of the two of them in matching finery appeared like a red haze before him. His head pounded and he closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself into calm. Rather than answer her question, he finally reached out to touch her trembling shoulders. The need to erase the distance between them was almost a physical ache but as always, he was aware that he had no claim on her.
"Xing'er, why do you stay? Do your feelings for him truly run so deep?"
At that, she turned, her entire body shivering but not from cold, and then it was only natural for his arms to drop from her shoulders to encircle her, and for her to respond to him like a flower seeking the sun. She tucked her head under his chin, eyes closed but cheeks still wet with trails of tears. He pressed her against him, pulse thundering, and forgot everything else.
Had it been years since he had first kissed her in the courtyard of Qing Shan Yuan? They were both such different people now, but the magnetic force between them remained exactly the same. Whatever had happened, whatever would happen in the future, his touch promised her that she could always return to him. Even if she had chosen Yan Xun first. Even if she still chose Yan Xun now.
Yuwen Yue had spent most of his life cultivating a strict self-control, and yet when it came to her, he felt lost in every way. He was raised in treacherous settings where he learned not to need anyone, but he knew he needed her as surely as he needed to breathe air.
He felt the damp warmth of her tears and he waited for her to draw away, to reject his possessive embrace.
But she only spoke to him, her voice choked with tears. "Yuwen Yue, I've never owed anyone anything. But you…I owe you too much."
Don't go back, he might have pleaded. Leave him to his fate. You aren't responsible for his pain, and you aren't responsible for his happiness. Stay here with me.
But the words were left unsaid. They both knew that she still could not make a clean break of it—at least not until she confronted Yan Xun herself.
* O * O * O *
She had officially become a general in name only. Though Chu Qiao had returned to Yan Xun's camp that night after the failed ambush between He Xiao and Yuwen Yue's soldiers, she kept to herself and withdrew all effort to take part in military matters. She even sent the servants away until she was left alone in her rooms, as quiet as a caged bird. Yan Xun left her alone, though she knew he was merely waiting out her anger over his execution of the Xiuli men. Once, she might have been naïve enough to assume he felt some sense of guilt.
But though she put up a good pretense of being a heartbroken woman, Chu Qiao had never let grief stall her. Even before Yuwen Yue had initiated her into the Eyes of God as a spy, she had known the value of biding her time. She hadn't avenged her brother and sister by being hasty in her plans. It was even easier now because despite all that they had been through, despite all that she had done for him, Yan Xun still somehow underestimated her. He assigned two inexperienced, young guards as "protection" for her and that was it. She had more trouble with Cheng Yuan's lackeys.
Every night she slipped like a ghost through the camp, gathering information. She had let her faith in Yan Xun blind her for too long—she had closed her eyes and ears to all the warning signs. That was how Cheng Yuan had gained the upper hand. That was how she had been caught off guard by his underhanded tactics aimed not at her, but at those she couldn't protect, like He Xiao. That was how Wu Daoya and Zhong Yu had slowly lost influence and ground until they had been forced out as exiles.
Even having steeled her heart after so many betrayals, it still shocked her just how much Yan Xun had hidden from her and how much she had been excluded from the true face of the war. Yan Xun was growing desperate; Yuwen Yue had won too many battles recently at the Meilan Pass. She also found the driver of Yan Xun's paranoia when she discovered that Yuwen Yue's spies were passing information along about all the battle formations and the distributions of the troops. Before the men even engaged in battle, Yuwen Yue had won. He knew exactly which military commanders he would face and what strategies they had planned. After a while, Yan Xun had figured out what was happening, but his handling of the matter was to execute half of his commanders for treason along with a fraction of Yuwen Yue's actual spies.
Unsurprisingly, army morale lay in pieces. The men had already been on the verge of revolt after Yan Xun had turned them back from Chang'an in order to return to Hong Chuan City. Cheng Yuan stirred the flames of resentment, feeding the uneducated soldiers' superstitions about the bad luck of having a woman general in the army. Chu Qiao heard all the rumors, including the bits of truth scattered in.
She was a witch who had ensorcelled the young king. She was a spy from the Wei—after all, the Wei Emperor himself had granted her a position in the Wei army! She was He Xiao's secret lover and that was why Yan Xun had broken the Xiuli Army in his rage. She was actually a slave and a whore whose loyalty was to General Yuwen Yue. She was a demon in battle because she made blood sacrifices. She was a spy for Da Liang—didn't everyone hear how the pansy prince Xiao Ce had taken a special interest in her? And she had sold her unholy soul and you could see it in the pitch black of her eyes.
Unable to break through the Meilan Mountian Pass, Yan Xun had resorted to terrorizing the villages surround it, presuming them to be loyal to the Wei empire. It was true that some of Yuwen Yue's men were recruited from or had homes among the villagers, but Yan Xun did not take the time to discriminate. The wholesale slaughter of families, including women and children, left even the Yanbei soldiers uneasy about vengeful ghosts.
Chu Qiao had been too simple, before. She had been so single-minded in her support and defense of of Yan Xun that she had never realized how shaky his position was—the eight Yanbei tribes notoriously warred against each other for any small thing, and yet they were united in their hatred of Yan Xun. He was a king in name, but an upstart in their eyes who had risen to power by murdering the former leaders of Yanbei in cold blood.
Chu Qiao had once been convinced that Yan Xun's moves were merely "cleaning house." The Yanbei chiefs who had thrived under the Wei emperor had done so at the expense of their own people; they had sold out their loyalty to their homeland for their positions. Therefore, she had reasoned back then, it was only just for Yan Xun as their returning prince to kill and replace them with those who were loyal to him and supported him.
Yuwen Yue must have known all along, but he must also have realized how pointless it would have been for him to try to tell her the truth back then. When they had found Mo'er in the aftermath of the Xianyang business council massacre, she had already had suspicions about why they had been let go. But she had told herself that the shadowy, hooded figure that had given the order to let them leave could not be Yan Xun. His voice had been too deep, too rough. Yan Xun would never murder the entire Ouyang family in cold blood, leaving behind only a traumatized boy who had only survived because of a little servant girl's protection. That was too impossible.
More than anything else, her thoughts returned to Mo'er often. How was the boy doing with his adopted father and mother? He had grown up as a pampered little lord and now to be safe, he would have to forever adopt a lowborn name and identity. She remembered him sleeping between herself and Yuwen Yue, putting on a brave face even when he screamed with nightmares of seeing his mother killed in front of him. Was he growing bigger and stronger now, dreaming of revenge?
Before you do anything wrong, I will find a way to stop you.
Too much wrong had already been done. Nor could she find a way to stop Yan Xun. She didn't even know if she could ever bear to, even after all the truths that she had learned about him, his father, and all of Yanbei and Wei's bloodshed. Never before had Chu Qiao felt more caught between the two sides, her beliefs tearing her apart as she remained frozen out of indecision. Yet motionlessness was a way of protecting herself from pain, too. Could she ever raise her hand against Yan Xun?
Then there were other costs of leaving to consider. She would no longer have access to all the information she had gathered. It wasn't as if she would betray the Yanbei army by taking everything to Yuwen Yue. There were innocent men on both sides and all she could achieve by leaving Yan Xun was to take herself out of the war—which at this point would affect the outcome very little. It was still safer to stay by his side and plan out her next move, even if she was at a loss as to what it should be.
The Meilan border was at an impasse as days stretched into weeks. Despite the tentative ceasefire caused by the Emperor's failing health, the latest news was that Prince Xiang was marching to the border to attack Yanbei. When a Yanbei spy reported that there was infighting among the Wei commanders due to a prominent lord from the Zhao family arriving at the border to try to seize power from Yuwen Yue, Chu Qiao didn't know how to feel. She should have been glad that Yuwen Yue had his own adversaries even in his own camp, and yet never had she been more aware of how swiftly betrayal could end lives.
The situation seemed hopeless. The frozen winter had forced a false stalemate for the time being, but the harsh conditions wouldn't hold Yan Xun back for long, not with Cheng Yuan urging him on.
She was just one woman. How could she stop a war?
* O * O * O *
Another shipment of goods had been delivered to the army. The men were in a relaxed mood with all the new rations, but Chu Qiao watched from the shadows as Cheng Yuan received the messenger who came with the shipment. After what Wu Daoya had told her about Da Liang's involvement in the conflict between Yanbei and Wei, she had been trying to find out more about the key players that she previously hadn't known existed.
Her patience paid off when she heard the messenger slip and refer to "Lord Zhan" during their conversation, though Cheng Yuan had been careful to leave out names. It confirmed what Wu Daoya had told her: Yan Xun was getting support from Zhan Ziyu—the top Da Liang advisor, and the person who had orchestrated her mother's death. Then that meant Dong Fang Ji had thrown his weight behind the Wei army, using the conflict to weaken both sides and leave them open to attack by Southern Liang.
Hearing footsteps behind her, Chu Qiao quickly made to slip away before she was discovered, but the soldier ran right past her and into the tent. Cheng Yuan barked at his hapless underling, but she heard the exchange clearly:
"His Majesty summons you urgently."
"What is it now? Enough already," Cheng Yuan said irritably. "He agreed this morning that there is no way forward as long as Yuwen Yue stays alive."
Chu Qiao's heart thumped hard at the words and she stole a few steps closer to the tent, praying that the guard who was sleeping on duty would remain fast asleep. It was expected for them to strategize on how to take Yuwen Yue out, but secret meetings in the middle of the night? This sounded more like something Yan Xun wouldn't want widely known.
"General, perhaps he is still having second thoughts?" the soldier meekly suggested. She could tell it was the same captain that she had threatened before.
"I told him that his decisions will affect the lives of hundreds of men. He must make the right decision. He would sacrifice how many of us for the sake of his tender feelings for his childhood friend and rival?" Cheng Yuan's tone had never sounded uglier, the sneer in his words almost poisonous.
"Tell him again," the captain urged. "He won't send the assassin out even after I reassured him that the man is the best we have."
"Is he afraid of failure or merely afraid of what his woman would think?" Cheng Yuan almost spit the words out and with a start, Chu Qiao realized he was speaking of her. So that was it, he had convinced Yan Xun to try to murder Yuwen Yue in the most cowardly of ways.
"As long as that bitch is still alive, His Majesty will never fully commit to an attack," the other man griped. "All she does is hold us back. Our good men die for nothing."
"Did he at least send the spy to Yuwen Yue to lure him?"
"That part is already done at least. I heard His Majesty myself. The spy was instructed to commit suicide after telling the bastard that Chu Qiao is hurt and needs his help at the Icy Lake."
Cheng Yuan gave a soft, but vicious laugh. "Then even if our weak little prince can't find the guts to do it, I will ride to the Icy Lake myself. I can finish things if he's not man enough to face his old friend. One way or another, Yuwen Yue is done for."
Chu Qiao had heard enough. Sick to her stomach, she made to back away from Cheng Yuan's tent, but stumbled over the outstretched foot of the sleeping guard outside of the tent.
The guard woke, but before he could raise the alarm, she struck him hard behind the ear.
His shout was muffled before it truly began and he slumped quickly. She caught his weight, trying not to curse at the heavy armor. As she lowered him to the ground, she crouched low beside him, ready to excuse herself by saying that she found him after an attack. But the guard's partner was still looking the opposite way, somehow oblivious of everything that had just happened.
Little did she know that inside the tent, Cheng Yuan and his captain were exchanging smug, victorious glances.
* O * O * O *
"She heard everything," Cheng Yuan announced, pacing before Yan Xun. "Now she'll go running to Yuwen Yue like his little spy whore—"
"Shut up," Yan Xun cut him off angrily. "I told you that I wouldn't tolerate your games and petty machinations against Chu Qiao. I warned you before when you set up that farce with Sun He."
"Your Majesty! It's about time someone showed you where her loyalties lie!" Cheng Yuan hissed back in fervent anger. "Brother Sun He was glad to take his life to open your eyes!"
"Who are you to question her?" Yan Xun roared.
Cheng Yuan did not back down in the slightest. "Then watch what she does! If she goes to warn him, you will have all the answer you need, whether you want to blind yourself to it or not!"
Rather than respond, Yan Xun abruptly sat down and leaned his head into his hand, his eyes closing against another one of his frequent headaches. The silence was thick and heavy but Cheng Yuan was as patient as a snake. Finally, Yan Xun looked up at him again.
"We will see then. You are dismissed."
Cheng Yuan was careful to wait until his back was toward his king, but he smiled as he left.
* O * O * O *
Author's Notes: As you can see, I am making some big changes about how exactly everyone ended up at the Icy Lake, so please keep in mind there are going to be differences. Let me know if you have any comments or suggestions on how to make this better. As always, thank you for all your support and please review so I know if anyone's still reading this!
