Notes: So, this picks up EXACTLY where the last chapter left off.
Sorry for the wait between updates. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out. This week is kind of up in the air. I love you guys so much. Every word of encouragement just makes my day, and even if I can't get back to all of you, it doesn't mean that your comment meant nothing. I take everything to heart, even the criticism because I honestly wasn't expecting very many people to read this so... SURPRISE.
"Kevin?!" Eddy repeated. His voice took on an extra octave in his shock.
Edd's smile faltered slowly as the realization that maybe they'd hit a snag in their friendship dawned on him. "Eddy, you said you were okay with—"
"Yeah, but KEVIN!?" Eddy interrupted him. "He's a world class jerk! He's…" Eddy stopped as a realization of his own swept across his features. "This isn't about that roommate. This is about you and him, isn't it. What'd he do to you?"
"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Edd answered immediately, but the look Eddy gave him cut daggers through his mental resolve and he deflated. He sank low into his couch cushions, envious of Ed who still remained on the floor, as cool and collected as ever. "Kevin may have witnessed his roommate placing some unwanted flirtations on me and I don't think he took it very well."
Eddy leaned so far over Edd it was like he'd turned into a hound dog and needed to sniff Edd just to see if he smelled like a liar. He reeked of tequila, but then again, so did the entire room. "You looked like someone punched you in the soul last night, Double D. You can't just recover from something like that." Eddy jabbed him hard in the chest, causing Edd to wince. "What. Did. He. Do?"
"Nothing!" Edd shouted toward the ceiling. He could see Ed jump from his spot on the floor through his peripherals. "It's unrequited!"
Eddy leaned back, satisfied with his answer. He took hold of the tequila bottle once more and filled Edd's teacup to the brim. "You show up on my door step at ass o'clock at night just because Kevin doesn't want to play kissy face with you?"
"It sounds so childish when you put it like that," Edd murmured.
"Kissy face!" Ed exclaimed from the floor. He sounded like he was half asleep again.
"Just pass out already," Eddy shouted at their floor-bound friend. "Drunkard."
"I don't want to go to sleep, Eddy," Ed whined and began to roll back and forth a little. "I want to stay up and love you guys, too."
"If he won't pass out, I will," Edd mumbled. It was his impression that the alcohol mainly amplified current feelings rather than let him forget his troubles. The happiness he'd been using as a mask quickly dissolved under the influence of the tequila so that the overwhelming sense of loneliness came to hit him full force. Never mind that he had a handful of friends who looked out for him. In his inebriated state, the only person's opinion that mattered was Kevin's and Kevin didn't want him. He just wanted to wallow in his misery and selfishness or possibly eat an entire bag of Oreos—whichever came first.
"Nuh-uh," Eddy said quickly rejecting Edd's completely rational offer of wanting to go to sleep before he depressed himself even further. He held up the teacup shot glass of tequila. "You're finishing this shot and we're coming up with a game plan."
"Game plan!" Ed yelled. "I will get the chalk!" He started to move his feet, but it only resulted in him pushing himself around in a circle.
"I don't feel like making a game plan, Eddy," Edd said, refusing the teacup had Eddy tried to offer him.
"You need this, Double D."
"Our plans never work."
Eddy slung a comforting arm around Edd's shoulder. "You're a genius, Double D. I know you'll make it work."
"Fine." Edd let out a sigh and took the shot Eddy offered him. It was a little larger than he'd anticipated and had to give himself an extra second to keep it down. When he'd recovered, he winced at Eddy, "What did you have in mind?"
"It depends," Eddy said sagely. "Which would you prefer: to forget Kevin ever existed to put you through this misery or… Revenge." He hesitated before finally adding, "Or option C, which I don't recommend, considering."
"Dare I ask the nature of Option C?"
Eddy lowered his voice to a mutter, like he couldn't believe he'd been forced to say the words. "Operation: Get Kevin to Like You."
Edd's eyes lit up a little. It was slow going, thanks to the sluggishness of the tequila, but they lit up nonetheless. "I like that option."
"I thought you might," Eddy sighed.
Edd couldn't stop himself. He launched himself at Eddy in a kind of horrible hug that ended up with him half laying on top of the shorter teen. He rubbed his face deep into Eddy's shirt as a sign of gratitude because in his current state, it seemed like the perfect thing to do at the time. He could feel his eyes stinging. "Thank you, Eddy!"
"Yeah, yeah," Eddy tried to brush him off. "But if he so much as looks at you wrong and I hear about it, so help me I will gank my dad's car and run him the fuck over."
"Duly noted," Edd sniffed.
"Chalk, chalk, chalk," Ed chanted. He'd been saying the word like a mantra the entire time Ed and Eddy went over the game plan and continued to push himself in a circle. "If you be X's Double D, I will be the O's."
As Edd made his way back to campus, he could feel his insides slowly liquefying. He didn't want to think back on the last conversation with his friends, but mostly out of embarrassment. Ed and Eddy had given him quite a wonderful farewell, but they left a lot of ideas in his mind that Edd didn't particularly wish to use.
He shuddered as he couldn't help remembering the slew of schemes Eddy cooked up.
At first Eddy brought up the idea that Edd needed to redo his image, because when Ed did it years ago, Kevin seemed to like it. Edd rejected the idea outright saying that would place too much pressure on him and even then, Kevin wouldn't even like the real Edd and where was the point in that?
Eddy had a few more ideas and Edd turned down all of them for completely valid reasons—until Ed shouted out from between the two of them: "When the Galactic Empire needed to sway the rebellious floppy-eared aliens into submission, they took all their crops away."
Eddy had been confused, but Edd knew right away what Ed meant, and he really couldn't be bothered to explain it to Eddy, mostly because he refused to take that option as well. Eddy refused to back down with his begging, so Edd finally complied.
"He means jealousy, Eddy."
"What?"
"Ed means jealousy: meaning I take away Nat from him. There are too many variables, however! What if it's not me he sees, but Nathan! And I cannot possibly lead Nathan on like that! It may be in your nature, but not in mine."
"Just do it, scaredy cat. You have no ambition."
"This is going to go so wrong."
"Why?"
"The last scheme you had me do, I ended up falling for Kevin in the middle of it and that's the whole reason why we're here in the first place!"
"Yeah, but you got that internship, right?"
"I suppose…"
"So it was a success! Listen, Double D: you can either do this or be a sad sap forever, what's it gonna be?"
Eddy's last words echoed back and forth in Edd's mind until the formed a word soup of just the phrase, "sad sap," over and over. It had been so easy to become enthusiastic about the plan's success around Eddy, but now that he was alone on campus, things looked bleak. How could he even begin? Should he go straight to Kevin's room? Should he text him?
Until Edd figured out what to do, he wanted to simultaneously ignore and search out Kevin. It was like Kevin existed both in a state of being wanted and unwanted and both options had to remain true until such time as Kevin actually appeared and Edd could figure out for himself which outcome prevailed. It was like some horrible rendition of Schroedinger's Cat.
In the end, the decision happened to be made for him. The moment he pulled up to a parking space, he could see Kevin, not too far away, working on his bike. He wasn't so much repairing it as he was cleaning the surfaces, but Edd found himself holding still with the car on idle as he watched safely from behind his windshield.
Kevin had on a sleeveless shirt and old, dirty jeans. A spare blue wipe cloth used specifically for grease and wax hung out of his back pocket which really did nothing more than draw Edd's eyes toward the subject. Was it possible to feel self-conscious about staring when no one would know but him? The way Kevin moved, as he wiped down his bike in slow, fluid strokes, made his muscles contract and relax in such delicate ways. His lean form made him a perfect subject to locate the origin and insertions of each muscle group. He was beautiful.
Edd rested his forehead against his steering wheel to calm down. Beautiful? When had he sank so low that he'd resorted to such adjectives to describe Kevin? Kevin—the cul-de-sac jock with the anger management issues? Beautiful?
Without even needing to look up again, Edd knew it was true. He could sit in the safety of his car and watch Kevin all day, but he knew, at some point, he'd have to explain himself. Maybe his situation would parallel Nat's? Kevin would just reject his feelings and they could get on with their friendship like nothing ever happened? It seemed to work very well for Kevin and Nat, at least until recently, Edd assumed.
Finally, Edd grabbed his school bag, took a deep breath, counted to three, and forced himself out of his car. He gave a great effort in attempting to close the door to his car without making a sound, but he'd failed to put in to account his alarm system. As soon as the door was closed and locked, his car let out a loud double-beep to indicate his alarm was in place.
Edd cringed. He knew then he'd been spotted.
When he didn't hear his named called out, he opened one eye and peered around. Kevin was still working on his bike like he hadn't heard a thing. Maybe he ignored the alarm?
Or maybe he was still ignoring Edd.
The thought made Edd feel a little childish. For Kevin to blatantly ignore him felt a little underhanded and petty—like they were teenagers instead of on their way to adulthood. Edd decided it was up to him to become the better man and marched right over to Kevin and his precious bike.
"Waxing in a circular motion will cut down on the streaks leftover by residue," Edd offered.
The muscles in Kevin's shoulders tensed and he paused in his ministrations. "Double D," he greeted slowly before going back to work—deliberately running his wipe cloth from side to side.
"Kevin, your blatant disregard for advice clearly shows you have some—"
"Just can it, Double D. Don't you have shit to do?"
Edd breathed in slowly and evenly, and by the time he exhaled, he'd managed to sit down on the ground next to Kevin. He crossed his legs and set his bag down beside him. It was much easier to speak to Kevin when they were relatively on the same level. "I have quite a few things to do, thank you very much. Speaking with you is one of them."
Kevin didn't stop working. "Oh yeah? What if I don't want to talk to you?"
"I don't believe that," Edd said quietly. Really, the moment he came over to Kevin, it was like his anxieties flew off with the wind. He knew what he wanted to do and that was to make amends with Kevin in any way possible. No amount of social anxiety could stop him from accomplishing that goal. Eddy had been wrong, Edd had plenty of ambition once he got started. "If you didn't wish to speak with me, you would be trying much harder to be rid of me."
"Good point," Kevin scoffed. He stopped waxing long enough to turn toward Edd and say, in what Edd thought was a very convincing voice, "Go. Away."
Edd swallowed hard. Kevin made eye contact. They hadn't made eye contact since Friday night when the two of them walked together to the pancake house. The effect it had on Edd was astonishing, if a little physical. They were so close—close enough that Edd had to make a conscious effort in keeping his eyes connected with Kevin's as opposed to flicking downward toward his lips. The point of this exercise wasn't to woo Kevin, but to regain their friendship. "I cannot do that, Kevin," Edd said at last.
"And why's that?" Kevin spat.
"Because I would very much like to fix this. I would like to repair our earlier altercation so that we could remain friends."
For a moment, a brief moment, Kevin's eyes softened, but he quickly steeled his expression back to one of anger. "I talked to my dad, yesterday. You have an interview with him Tuesday to get your stupid letter. We don't need to be friends."
"You are correct," Edd murmured slowly, hoping that Kevin would listen to him. "I do not need to be your friend—"
"Then get out of my face!" Kevin's voice rose.
To keep up with Kevin's volume, Edd had to shout loud enough to cut off the redhead. "I want to be your friend!"
Kevin seethed, his motorcycle completely forgotten. "Aren't you all buddy-buddy with Nat?"
"I'm not allowed to have both of you as friends? Or have you forgotten I've spent most of my life as part of a trio? These things come naturally to me."
Edd words must have finally had an impact on Kevin because his face lost the red tint and his shoulders relaxed a bit. "You think of us like that? Like those dorks—those guys back home?"
Edd nodded. "I am not lying when I say I enjoy your company and the company of your roommate. I have been very grateful for the past week and I admit I have thought of both of you as more than just a study group."
"So let me get this straight," Kevin said as he adjusted himself on the ground directly in front of Edd. "You and Nat are just friends?"
Edd nodded once more in quick succession. It was nice having Kevin ask all the questions. It made his own job much easier.
Kevin leaned in a little and continued in a hushed tone, "You're not…" He then proceeded to make a very obscene gesture that involved his index finger and fist.
The blood couldn't rush to Edd's face fast enough as he shook his head furiously. "No, No! Not at all!"
The laughter that erupted from Kevin's mouth couldn't have been more sudden. He leaned back on his hands and just let his laughter roll upward into the sky. Edd watched him in awe, his eyes glued to the bouncing of Kevin's chest and shoulders. "You should probably tell Nat that, because, man. Wow. Let me tell you a thing or two about Nathan Kedd Goldberg."
"You don't have to explain," Edd told him. "I already know."
"What, about me and him?" Kevin pointed to himself.
"Er," Edd stopped. The way Kevin put it sounded like there may have been something Nat left out. "Perhaps not… he only told me you rejected him."
"Well, yeah," Kevin shrugged. "We tried a thing, it wasn't my thing, so we ended the thing."
As vague as Kevin's explanation had been, it was more than enough for Edd to get the general feeling. For clarification purposes, however, he felt the need to ask dozens of questions. Was that allowed? If Kevin wanted to explain, he would have, right?
In the end, Edd settled on, "Nathan said you were heterosexual."
"Nathan," Kevin teased, using his roommate's full-name in the way Edd did. "Tried to get in my pants last semester and I told him to fuck off."
Edd's mind was reeling with Kevin's version of the information. Edd had been under the impression that Nat had asked Kevin out and was rejected based on Kevin's sexuality. Had that not been the case? "Just to clarify," Edd spoke up, wanting to get every fact as accurate as possible. "Can you explain a bit… please?"
"Well, that was a bit rough, but what else is there to explain? Nat's a cool guy, don't get me wrong. He's just not my type. We're better off friends," Kevin grinned a little, his mood obviously taking a much better turn. "Speaking of, I owe him an apology."
"So then are you…" Edd's next question caught in his throat. He wanted to ask Kevin so badly, but it still wasn't really any of his business. He just wanted it to be. Badly.
Kevin sat up again and brushed his palms off on his jeans. "Am I what? Straight?" his mouth quirked upward at the corner as Edd nodded. "To be honest, I don't even know what I am. I just know who I like."
"Ah," Edd understood—a little. His questions were really only being half-answered, but he at least had a better understand of the situation than before and that was all he could ask for. He could always try to ask Kevin who it was that he liked, but again, if the answer was anyone other than himself, he'd be heartbroken and Edd wasn't about to put that feeling on himself again. Instead, he wanted to be sure about one more piece of information. "This means we're friends again, correct?"
"Yeah," Kevin's grin lit up his face and he held out his hand. "Friends." Edd reached his own hand out to shake Kevin's, but Kevin gripped his wrist and tugged him forward in an awkwardly uncomfortable shoulder hug that mostly consisted of Kevin patting Edd hard on the back twice. "And next time Nat tries to make out with you, you can punch him in the face. He'll bounce back."
Edd cringed. "Is that what you did? Punched him in the face?"
"Nah, we actually kissed for a while, but it didn't do anything for me, so I told him and we went to the arcade instead to let out our frustrations on Marvel vs. Capcom III."
Edd covered his mouth quickly as an unwarranted giggle tried to escape. "That is the exact opposite of what I thought took place."
Kevin raised his eyebrows. "Yeah? Not everything's a soap opera. That's too much effort."
"Yes," Edd agreed. If that weekend had been any indication on how much effort was involved in starting unwanted drama, then Edd never wanted to live a soap opera life. Ever. He really should have just stayed and waited out the weekend—especially if it was going to be this easy to make amends. On the bright side, however, he'd let the cat out of the bag to Ed and Eddy and they'd been supportive of him. Now, at least, he was allowed to text them about any goings on and not feel bad about it. It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Having reached some sort of conclusion, Kevin turned his attention back to his motorcycle. This time, Edd noticed, he moved his hands in a circular fashion. Edd watched him for a little while, wondering if maybe he should get up and leave, but the weather was so nice and he'd finally reached some kind of understanding with Kevin and he really didn't want to go anywhere. He wanted to stay and enjoy the company while he could.
"You know," Kevin said so suddenly, Edd jumped a little. "Nat did almost the exact same thing to both of us."
"I did notice the parallel, yes." Where was Kevin going with this?
"Not that it's any of my business, but you did let him down gently, right?"
A pang of realization hit Edd like a ton of bricks. It was a feeling akin to realizing he'd left the oven on. "Er…"
Kevin's attention focused directly at Edd. "He knows you're not interested?"
"Well…" Had he even told Nat no? He never flat-out said to Nat that he wasn't interested. In fact, he never even told Nat he was interested in Kevin. He'd accidentally left everything up in the air and Nat could very easily interpret things the way he wanted. In the end, Edd had to settle for admitting it out loud. "I don't know."
"Double Dork!" Kevin groaned. "This is Nat we're talking about here! If he thinks he has a chance with you, he'll—"
Kevin was cut off by the chime of Edd's cell phone. Edd felt all the blood drain from his face when he recognized the notification sound to be the one he'd assigned to Nat.
Edd pulled out his phone and felt a pool of dread forming in his stomach. He hadn't meant to lead Nat on—not at all. He wasn't used to this much less painful approach to courting. It had been easy to refuse Marie because she'd been so forceful. Nat's feeling snuck up on him.
FROM THE GREEN LOON: Today is tomorrow, hot stuff. I'm at the Peach Tree. I have something for you.
The message could be completely innocent, but Edd had been treating all of Nat's messages as completely innocent and it had gotten him into a much larger mess than he'd anticipated. He had to assume, now, that anything Nat said had to have a deeper story behind it, and as he read and re-read the text, he tried to find it.
"Did Nat text you?" Kevin asked.
Edd slowly nodded.
Kevin sounded a little irritated. "You have Nat's number? Actually, you know what, I don't even know why I was surprised. What'd he say?"
"He wants to meet me at the Peach Tree," Edd said quietly.
Kevin's bottom jaw jut out a little, like maybe he was grinding his teeth, but in the end, he sighed and stood up before holding out a hand for Edd to help him up. "You should go, but you need to tell him."
When Edd took Kevin's hand, the other boy didn't let go, even after Edd stood up. Kevin gripped Edd's hand firmly, even as Edd hastily agreed. "I'll tell him, I promise."
"Good," Kevin said, his voice wavering only a tiny bit. Edd wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been so fine-tuned into Kevin's every movement for the past fifteen minutes. "I don't want you to get hurt."
"It's funny," Edd said suddenly, remembering. "Nat said the same thing to me, but about you."
Kevin let go of Edd's hand abruptly. "Me?"
Edd could feel himself blushing and he wished he would voluntarily stop it. He'd accidentally given out too much information. Hopefully Kevin wouldn't connect the dots. "Probably in reference to our turbulent past, yes?" Edd remedied, quickly. "I mean to say, we haven't always been friends."
"Yeah," Kevin said, but his heart didn't seem in it. He was giving Edd such a strange stare that Edd felt increasingly uncomfortable. Suddenly he was very glad for the excuse Nat had given him to leave.
"So, I suppose… I shall see you later, Kevin?" Edd asked politely as he backed way. Kevin continued to look at him in a new kind of wonder. Edd could practically see the gears turning in his head.
"Yeah, dude," Kevin gave him a tiny wave. "Hasta luego."
Edd hurried down the path toward the Peach Tree without stopping. He didn't even need to turn around to know that Kevin watched him until he was out of sight. He could feel the stare burning on his shoulder blades. Just what was going on in that mind of his?
If the phrase 'caught between a rock and a hard place' needed to be used, it would have been at that moment. Edd felt like he was running from one uncomfortable situation to the next. To make matters worse, Edd's phone chimed again, but this time it was Eddy.
FROM EDDY: How's that plan coming along, loverboy?
Edd groaned loudly. Eddy's plan may have been a good idea for all of two minutes, but now the tables had been turned. He'd gotten Kevin back on his side so there was no need to make him jealous, right? Besides, he'd already told Kevin he wasn't interested in Nat, so any and all scheming on Eddy's part had been for naught. He hastily punched in a text to Eddy as he walked to the Peach Tree.
FROM EDD: Mission aborted.
FROM EDDY: LAME! You're such a baby. Let me handle this.
FROM EDD: Eddy, don't you dare! That is not necessary!
FROM EDDY: Too late. You can thank me, later.
Edd wanted to stop and scream at the walls and rip out his hair. If one thing went wrong, it all went wrong. So much for him feeling better about anything because everything decided it was going to fall apart on him at the same time. What in sam-hell did Eddy do?
Seriously, he thought, how was this his life?
