A shorter leap between chapter this time, I did good. This week is a bit slower than the previous ones and I managed another update.
Sorry for the yet again unseasonal update, I remind you that this story was practically written entirely on my Christmas break, I was a little high on sugar and the holidays spirit around made me all warm and fuzzy inside.
C'mere is a song by Snow Patrol, who again rocked the playlist as I wrote the chapter. You'll notice why reading through.
So, enjoy and review, as always (and find the reference, maybe)!
Chapter 12 – C'mere
Christmas wasn't my favorite time of the year. At all. I liked New Year's Eve because of the alcohol, but definitely not Christmas. Christmas was supposed to be about family and I never had one. The first actual Christmas I enjoyed was the one I spent lying under the Christmas tree watching the flickering lights with George and Izzie, before Doc could join. Damn, I miss that dog.
This year, instead, it felt different. I was having a baby, who will hopefully have beautiful Christmases. And Derek was there. Not really there, yet, because he was at work, but he was going to be there the whole night, next to me, waiting Christmas morning together.
I sat on the couch with a steaming mug of tea, after a small dinner with George and Izzie. She was so into the Christmas spirit that she baked a Santa-shaped cake. Chocolate cake, because I asked her to. Cravings with Izzie around weren't that bad, after all.
I glanced at the small fireplace, where stockings were hanging and a broad smile appeared on my face as, next to mine, materialized a red one with 'Derek' embedded on. I felt I belonged to this place once again, and not because the fact that it looked almost like Santa's residence, but because something was different than before, the air maybe. Or maybe it was just the faint smell of this afternoon's baking and the fact that Derek had his own stocking, next to mine.
I stared for a moment at the tree in the corner of the living room. It was a big tree, really freaking big for my likings, but George used to love big trees and Izzie was happy to have even more space to express her decorating abilities. Some gift were already piled up under the branches, mostly something I had still to deliver, something else that I realized too late I had to ship way earlier than when it hit me, like Carolyn's gift. I bought her a webcam, putting in some survival instruction, so she could see us when we would call. I saw the longing look on Derek's face every time she called and I also knew that our baby will know his or her amazing grandmother.
There was an empty space, though, under the tree, where last year sat Doc, curled up under the lights. He had been a good dog, a good tie between me and Derek when there wasn't anything left but raw love. And maybe it was also the moment Addison warmed up a little to me. Slightly, but she did. And despite the sadness over Doc's loss, nothing could be compared to the feelings of that same evening, in the exam room. It was a frenzy of emotions in there: mourn, pain, love, guilt, connection, bliss...creation.
I stared at the tree again, the lights peacefully flickering in the practically dark living room. George went straight home to his mother and brothers after our dinner, to spend time with his family, Izzie volunteered to stay at the hospital, determined to bring to some of the kids forced there some of her Christmas spirit. And she was good at that. And Alex was there. Christmas has to be spent with the people you love.
I stood up from the couch, leaving the mug behind on the coffee table, then I walked to the tree touching the branches. The smell of fir was inebriating. I sat on the floor still for a second, watching the lights twinkle around the room, illuminating it all. God, Izzie decorated perfectly! I lied then, my back flat on the hardwood floor. I placed one of the couch's pillow under my neck, supporting my head, then my hand flew automatically to my stomach, as every time I lied down. It was already rounder, not much, but a hint. You wouldn't know I was pregnant until you saw my bare stomach, then you'd notice. And that new fullness felt perfect.
I closed my eyes and the twinkles still sparkled under my closed eyelids, the piney smell still filling my nostrils. It was quiet, soothing and, despite nobody was home, I wasn't feeling alone like during those nights when Derek wasn't there. He's coming, he'd be home before you'd notice.
My thumb traced small circles over my belly, my hand sneaking under my Dartmouth t-shirt to rub my skin. My favorite shirt was still fitting, but it was just a matter of time. You should borrow Derek's one. I smiled, clearly picturing his amused smirk as he caught me wearing his favorite t-shirt once, some days ago when mine was in the laundry stack.
I heard a faint thud of a car door in the driveway and the smile lingered on my lips, that curled up even more. He's home.
"Daddy's home" I whispered in the quiet room, still grazing my belly
Muffled steps, the door unlocking, a quiet click. He is home. A jacket had been hung at the rack together with the others and his briefcase laid under them with a thump, forgotten. It wasn't time for work, clearly. More steps, then a gasp.
"Oh God, Meredith, are you ok?" Derek's voice immediately filled with panic.
I let out a giggle. He can be so brainless sometimes! He seemed startled by my reaction. I could see his steady frame between the tree branches and he had a concerned frown all over his face.
"Don't I look ok?" I got along with his concern, teasingly.
"You're lying on the floor. Are you in pain?"
"I'm watching the lights" I emerged from the tree to fully see his face shift from concerned to a relaxed smile in a blink.
"You scared me" he clearly let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"Come here" I patted my hand on the free space next to me, on the floor. He hesitated a second, scanning my request and I smiled. "C'mere and watch the lights with me"
He gave up as I asked again and he moved slowly towards me, sitting exactly where I motioned him to. Now that's a perfect Christmas. I leaned in, placing my hand to his chest and kissing him softly on his lips. He shaped a smile as soon as I pulled away to lie down. He followed me, his shoulder bumping into mine. I leaned my head in the crook of his neck, while his arm immediately draped around my stomach, caressing it. His eyes twinkled more than ever because of the lights a small smile plastered on his face. I closed my eyes for a second, letting his smell fill my thoughts and mix with the piney one already in my nostrils.
"I missed you tonight" he admitted, whispering
"We are here. It's almost Christmas, Derek" my last sentence came out a little more excited than how I had expected myself to be. He lifted up his wrist to check his watch.
"It's Christmas already, technically" he chuckled
"Merry Christmas, Derek" I tilted up my head and kissed him gently
"Merry Christmas, Meredith" he added, right after, pecking my lips too
We remained quiet a little while, enjoying the silence and the warmth of our embrace, together with the flickers of the lights.
"I have something for you" I broke the silence with my muffled words
"I have a gift for you too" his smile broadened.
"You first"
"I'll go grab mine when you take yours, ok? I'll be right back" he hopped out of the confines of the tree branches to the foyer, probably his briefcase. His gift instead was within reach behind me, hidden in the pile of gifts.
He was back in a flash, a squared, maybe rectangular, box in his hands, wrapped in a red paper with reindeers on it. It looked childish, but maybe it was the same paper he used to wrap all the presents for his nieces and nephews and a smile reached my lips. Family. My gift instead was wrapped in a shiny navy paper, with a silver ribbon and it was soft at the touch, smaller than his. We hesitated a second, unsure who should give away his gift first, both waiting the other to make the first move.
"Why don't we exchange them simultaneously? We have two hands, I give you mine while you give me yours" I suggested and he chuckled, handing me the box. I held out mine and we switched them.
"Go ahead" he smiled. I had to go first anyway, his chivalry...
I gently took off all the tape, opening the wrap carefully, revealing a cardboard box. Raw, simple. I lifted up the lead and I gasped: a baby book. I skimmed my finger on the cover and it was soft, green, with an empty space for the name surrounded by cute teddy bears. I opened it, revealing smooth, blank pages that will be filled soon with all the progresses and photos of our little miracle. Tears stung at my eyes as I looked up at him.
"Derek" I mumbled
"Do you like it?"
"It's beautiful, I love it!" a lone tear slipped down and he immediately reached out to wipe it away. I smiled and he grinned back, before taking off the ribbon from his gift.
He opened it as carefully as I did and a wide smile appeared on my lips as he unfolded the white piece of cloth in his hands. He gasped and had tears in his eyes too, lifting up the unbelievably small t-shirt at his eye level and then placing it on his crossed legs, smoothing the printed red and black writing 'I love Daddy' with his fingers.
"Meredith, it's..."
"You'll be the one to dress Berry like that whenever you two are alone" he smiled, ducking his head to kiss me and my hands immediately moved to my stomach.
"You need your own cheering t-shirt too" he added in a chuckle
"I already have one. I couldn't resist buying one for myself too" I admitted and he laughed "Do you think I should put the few pictures we already have in the album, even without a name?"
"It's yours Meredith. I bought it because I know I would love to flip those pages in five or then years, wondering where our kid had disappeared, but you can really do whatever you want with it."
"You...You don't think I'd be too busy to keep it updated?" my voice hesitant
"No, you won't" his steadiness, his certainty somehow shocked me.
"I'll be a good mother, right?" his hand reached for mine and squeezed it gently, his smile still on his face.
"An extraordinary one" and he didn't know how much those words meant to me. I sighed, placing my hand on his free knee.
"Can we go back watching the lights?" I asked. He didn't answered, but wrapped his arm around my shoulders and sank back on the floor, placing the pillow under his head and snuggling me closer, my cheek resting softly on his chest, my legs over his.
Best Christmas ever, so far.
"Izzie suggested me that you should be taken into the grocery duties" I whispered, breaking the comfortable silence between us.
"Yeah?" his satisfied smirk told me that he didn't mind
"You practically live here, you know"
It was real. In the past month he had stayed there every time I was home, but from a few days he had been staying even if I was on call. He finally moved in for real and Izzie wanted to drag him into the grocery duties to welcome him in the family.
"Yeah, I figured. We can still move to the trailer, though" he chuckled
"I'd love to, you know that, but I don't think I'll fit there in four or five months" he let out the laugh he was holding, kissing gently my temple, a smile still curling his lips.
"We should get our own place" I said it, I said it, it's done. Breathe. In, out. In, out.
"It would be great" he didn't even hesitated a second with his answer, a big grin stretching on his lips. He's ok with it! Wow!
"I mean, I don't want Izzie and George to move out, so I figured it would be us moving" making grown-up decisions felt definitely good "We can stay here and at the trailer for a while, until we find something"
Then he surprised me: "Let's build a house"
"A what?" my eyes wide
"Our own house. We plan it, blueprints and everything. From scratch. On the cliff. You and me. Before Berry would join us, or a little after, anyway"
Build a house? That man is definitely crazy. But he was a sexy crazy, excited, his eyes sparkling even more and not because of the lights. And his land is such a beautiful place...
"We could buy in the neighborhoods" I suggested, the idea of building from scratch still overwhelming
"Never mind, I'm sorry" his gaze lowered on our jointed hands, maybe guilty he made a wrong step, afraid he moved too forward. I've always been the one to set the pace in our relationship, from the first night he spent on the floor before I threw him out, but I liked the idea of building something together. It was just too much: too much time, too much money, too much far.
"Derek, I'd love to live on the cliff," I admitted, sighing "but it's a lot of work, tons of money and..."
"Tell me, yes of no? Close your eyes and answer me, forget about money and work. Where would you live?" his excited eyes returned. Give it a try, c'mon!
I snapped shut my eyes and I immediately pictured a green yard, surrounded by trees, the lake visible not far away. Fits of laughter, little feet running around, a swing dancing with the wind, roped at a strong oak branch. That's what a dream house is supposed to be!
"Your land"
I opened my eyes and he was carefully watching my every reaction, a huge grin on his face
"Our land. That's our house, our land" he whispered, lowering his lips on mine and sealing our deal. Gently, slowly, lovingly. We are building a house, together.
And in that exact moment, I fell again in love with Derek Shepherd for the umpteenth time. Head over heels. God, that man blows your mind!
"You'll see the blueprints as soon as I'll get back to the trailer, we can start from there and you can change everything you want" he continued, then kissed my lips happily once more.
Best Christmas ever.
AN: Did you find the reference? It was easy, right? If not just ask me...
As always it had a completely different title as I wrote the chapter, but I realized it wasn't really fitting, so I changed it. A couple of times, maybe three *whistle*.
It was a cheesy chapter, I know, I just loved the tree scene back in Season 2 and I wanted Mer to have it again, but with Derek by her side. I added some more descriptions too, just to try some new writing techniques and it felt good. Give advices if you want to, I really appreciate.
Well, it was longer and fluffy, so I can breathe a little. Next update won't be long due, hopefully. I'm nailing the end of the story, tying up loose ends and I plan on finishing writing it in two weeks at the most, then I'll try to post it regularly. The 20 chapters I told about in advance are slowly becoming closer to 25 as ideas keep flowing, but I have a clear picture of where I'm headed so, keep sticking around!
