Then come the POV of Tris


How it all began. Jeanine's POV


#1

Amity. Candor. Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite. The five factions.

Sometimes, Jeanine was bored to witness the same every year. Adolescents nervous and frightened about to choose their faction. Parents hopeful, scared, proud, disappointed, angry, everything depends on the choice of their children.

Jeanine is calm, sitting in the seats of her faction. Look all around her with her cold, calculating eyes. Everything is in order. Everything is normal.

The Abnegation enter the room, and her eyes scanned. Something akin to contempt is installed on her chest. Of the five Factions, Abnegation is the most false. It is impossible for a person eradicate all his dreams and desires. It's unnatural, false. Abnegation was a giant and illogical theater.

Andrew Prior and his family enters near the end. Andrew Prior, her former friend. Who preferred that false and empty life ... she expected him to be miserable. Her attention is drawn to his family. The son of Andrew bears some resemblance to him, but with soft and harmonious features of his mother. Natalie is still a beauty, despite the inclement weather and the hard life in Abnegation. Jeanine smiles aside. It was a pity that Wright had married Andrew.

Her attention was drawn to the lesser of the Prior. With a glance she saw enough. She was a gawky girl, awkward in her own skin, that looked awful with that gray clothes. She was tense, uncertain, scared. Lost in an empty world that she didn't belong. She wants to hide her feelings with tranquility, but Jeanine is too circumspect.

Nothing interesting in that girl. And yet, she can't stop looking at her.

The movement of her hands, her lips parted, her shifty eyes... she forced herself to look away.

But later that girl chose Erudite and Jeanine senses that will have problems.

...

# 2

Her name is Beatrice. Jeanine starts to get curious.

Is number one of the Transferred . Jeanine note with surprise the change in her. She looks more at ease, as if she had reborn when changed faction. And that's probably exactly what happened. She didn't expect the small and insignificant Beatrice (or Tris, as she prefers to be called) turned out to be a genius. Both siblings Prior are very smart, but Tris beats Caleb and others by far.

Jeanine remembers her own initiation. She outperformed her peers by a lot, really a lot. But she never had that gleam in the smile that has Tris Prior, as if everything was fine. Jeanine hopes that.

...

# 3

As I predicted, she thought when the Initiation finished.

Beatrice Prior was the first on the list, as she knew she would. There's a Welcome Ceremony every year, to honor the new members of Erudite. They are called by name and are given a diploma, something very like a graduation, because most Erudites are unoriginal and Jeanine Matthews has better things to do than look at the Welcoming Ceremony.

However, this time she attended.

It feels weird to be sitting at the back, but Jeanine concludes that it is better. However, that doesn't matter.

Managers say the name of Tris Prior, and the girl gets up. Tris has a mechanical smile on her face and is very tense. For a moment, her gaze meets hers. And her smile is stretched further.

She responds with an equally fake smile, without knowing why. She doesn't know why there is something dark in the eyes of Tris.

...

# 4

Jeanine wonders if she don't erred. But it's too late for that.

Silence governs her office. As she, is tidy, quiet, peaceful. Nothing should disturb the silence. But she knows that inevitably something will do it.

That "something" knocks on her door.

"Enter."

"You wanted to see me, Ms Matthews?" Bang

"Yes, take a seat, Beatrice."

The girl sits in front of her, and for a moment, Jeanine reminds the nervous and awkward girl who first saw. Almost nothing remains of that girl. Tris looked around seriously. And if she wasn't nervous, she hid it much better.

Jeanine is not nervous. Don't reason to be, no. So she tells Tris what she meant. The surprise of the girl reflects only a second. After a short silence, she accepted her offer.

...

# 5

She will give Tris private lessons, part-time. As a new member of Erudite, Tris had to start working in laboratories. She didn't want to overburden the girl, her work could wane if she had too much stress. They would be about two hours per day, Monday through Thursday.

Jeanine's interest is purely professional. Tris Prior has potential, curious, inventive, and wit. With proper push she could go far. These private lessons will be helpful to teach Tris many more advanced things. In addition, Jeanine is not eternal, at some point she will have to appoint a successor, and perhaps Beatrice Prior would be a good choice.

Those were her only reasons. Or at least, she wanted to convince herself that it was the truth.

...

# 6

Their first meeting was exactly as she thought.

Tris listened all her explanations, she followed her instructions, and asked what didn't understand. Jeanine was patient, more than usual.

She left Tris to work alone and sat at the tea table with her documents. But for some reason, she could not concentrate and went to watch her pupil. Now that she watched well, Tris was much like Andrew at that age, but obviously feminine, very feminine. She had the same color hair and eyes. Also the same nose, which is wrinkled to concentrate. The movement of her hands. Those hands are trembling slightly, and Jeanine would like to know what she is thinking.

A shiver ran down her back.

...

# 7

Time moves. Private lessons advance. Tris is progressing well with her learning.

At that time, the girl becomes higher. Now she have almost the same height as Jeanine. She is finishing her adolescence, becoming a young woman. She becomes smarter and more mature. Almost nothing remains of the confused and awkward girl she first saw. Jeanine notes fascinated her slow transformation.

Sometimes they chat, but she tries to avoid those moments as much as possible. There's something in the voice of Tris Prior, something disturbing. Something sweet, low and deep. Something that makes her ears tremble.

But spending time with a person without talking is impossible. And sometimes she accesses the temptation to hear her voice. Those conversations are always from scientific subject, all Jeanine allowed herself. But still, she would love to Tris tell her about her day, her new friends, her feelings about her new Faction. She is burning to ask her about it. To know her thoughts. Know who is inwardly Tris Prior.

But she can't. It is a line that must not cross.

...

# 8

Jeanine Matthews is, beyond all rumors, a control freak.

She is not cruel, arrogant, or a robot, as everyone believes. She is a woman who has spent her life perfecting the art of self-control. That has led her to be a little proud too, but could not eradicate all emotions. If she could, she would, because human emotions are the cause of all misfortunes. Emotions causes decontrol. The decontrol should be eliminated.

Like her father said: "Get a control on yourself, and you can control others. Without control, chaos reigns. Self-control is as necessary as air, and you must have it, no option. This is necessary. Stop cry. If you cry I'll make this last longer. Only uncontrolled cry. Don't you dare disappoint me. Well, we're done ... "

"Ms Matthews?"

"Forgive me, what did you say?"

"I said I finished the generator," her voice was quiet, a little worried. "Are you okay?"

A personal question. "Of course."

Jeanine has spent her lifetime perfecting her self-control. She would have succeeded if not for Tris Prior.

...

# 9

The clock is ticking. Things change lately.

Classes with Tris pass to another stage: experimentation. During that time, Beatrice reached her final height. Now she have the same height as Jeanine. She has also cut her hair. Her new short hair highlights the features of her face, framing her cheeks, her eyes dark, and the temptation at the end of her smile.

She was a beautiful young woman. Smart and beautiful, untouched by vanity.

Jeanine has decided to make an agreement with herself. She has spent her entire life trying to eliminate her feelings, and would have succeeded if she don't met Tris Prior. It made no sense denying it. She felt affection for this girl. She grew fond.

The admit it brought some consequences to her relationship with her. She had taken affection, okay, she could live with that. But she wanted to have the affection of Tris, and did not know how. The desire to be loved by someone was as new as scorching and frightening. So she tried to do the most logical thing: to maintain friendly and cordial talks with her pupil.

And it felt good, really good, talk to Beatrice. Were simple talks, and Jeanine wondered why se had refused it for years. They were found to have similar views, but also occasionally debated. But the important thing was that she could hear her beautiful voice, just for her.

Although sometimes she felt growing the darkness in the eyes of Tris. But she felt increasingly bright.

...

# 10

This has to stop.

She no longer recognized herself. Her obsession with Tris Prior was affecting her brain. Nobody noticed, but Jeanine Matthews was not the same person. She was changing against her will.

Conversations with Tris did not satisfy her, only increased her delirium. It wasn't enough. She wanted more. That idea was selfish, stupid, and pointless, but she wanted more than Tris Prior. She wanted to know what she was thinking, what she felt, what she liked, what she loved, what she hated. Jeanine dreamed of her all the time, her face, her smile, her hands. It was such a strong feeling that burned inside.

Don't having any kind of feeling was much easier. But still Jeanine don't hate her current situation.

The only person who mattered once in her life was Andrew, her ex-best friend. For he felt trust and affection, but Andrew went. He left her alone. Since then she had not felt affection for anyone.

But what she felt for Tris was completely different. It was maddening, chaotic. And Jeanine hated the chaos.

Just had a choice.

...

#11

Sincerely, Jeanine knew that this would happen. But she didn't know Tris was going to get angry like that. Or that she would touch her door at two o'clock.

Of course she was not awake, every time she closed her eyes she drowning in blue fire in the eyes of Tris. In those times, she felt a loud knocking at her door. She already knew who it was before opening.

And yet the hurt and angry face of Tris hit her like a slap.

"Why?" she asked, cold as ice.

And before she could answer, Tris lifted the written notice Jeanine sent five hours ago.

"Did you just read that?" she asked simply.

"I was in the lab late. Imagine my surprise when I came back and found this under my door," Tris spoke of paper as if it were something disgusting. "Why this thing says I will not have classes with you nevermore?"

Her voice is disturbingly dark. Her face has a nervous shadow, as if she was striving to keep quiet. Jeanine known that expression. She had often seen it in young Erudites who want to maintain controlled their stress.

"I've already taught you enough. It's time for you have your own projects, alone."

"If you wanted stop to see me, you could have told me in person," resentment is present in her voice, to the surprise of Jeanine. "I thought I deserved better than a paper."

"Have you come to shout in my door at two o'clock because you hates the papers? Let me tell you're acting a little irrational, Miss Pri..."

"Don't you dare to say I'm being irrational. I'm doing the only thing that makes sense in all this: leaving wait"

"What are you talking about?"

"How long you'll keep pretending you don't feel attracted to me?"

Silence filled the room. Jeanine was sure her heart stopped for a seconds.

"I don't know what you mean."

"You are very good at hiding your feelings, but I have spent much time with you, and I can see it," she approached her. "The way you look at me. Because it's the same way I look at you."

She was deathly still, her face made of stone. Because this could not be happening. Because Tris looked totally unreal. Because this should not be happening. Because red in her cheeks was beautiful. Because she wanted to touch her. Because she could not.

"I like you and you like me. We know this."

"Go away," she did not realize she had spoken, her voice sounded distant. "It seems that you forgot you're talking to your Faction Leader, Miss Prior. I want you out of my house at this moment, don't mention this incident anymore."

Tris did not respond.

"Did not you head me?!"

"Perfectly clear, but I'm not going anywhere."

"What the...?"

"You don't control me."

And the girl took her shirt and kissed her violently.

At first she felt nothing more than a tingling, as if her lips were asleep. Jeanine tried to remember why it was wrong, but she only got that Tris held her head. The blonde felt her will decrease, clouding her thoughts. Tris had very soft lips. She was tempted to discover her taste. No. She could not. It was wrong. It was wrong. It was unwise, a weakness. She had to zoom out. She had to...

Tris began to kiss her neck.

"Don't get me wrong, there's a certain beauty in your resistance," Tris whispered between kisses. Those words sounded like mockery, like mockery and fire. "But you have to get over it. You lost."

"I'm no..."

"Yes," kiss on the shoulder. "You lost, no longer makes sense," deep kiss. "We both know: You're mine."

"Tri ..."

"Mine," shirt buttons. "Mine," shoes. "Mine" Tris's nails into her back.

And she knew it was true.

...

#12

It was as if Tris had opened the Pandora's box.

After that, she completely lost control. But it didn't matter because Tris was kissing her and biting her and touching her everywhere and oh it felt so good. She didn't want it to end. Her mind was turned off completely.

Now her head was recovered a bit from the fever, as she watched the ceiling staring.

Jeanine raised her arm and watched. She had hickeys on the forearm, collarbone, and thighs. Also some deep scratches where Tris dug her nails. She felt pain all over her body. But the pain was not as big as her inner peace.

Beside she Tris slept, hugging her as if she were a teddy bear. The warmth of her body seemed to pierce her skin and reach her heart. She kissed her forehead and pulled her.

There was no turning back. She had lost control of her emotions.

Hopefully you don't break my newly acquired heart.