XII. Detour


78. Phalanx

Duo thought his idea of using Quatre's benevolent side to manipulate him had been brilliant. Heero did not seem to agree. In fact, the braided man thought he was awfully ethical for a crook.

'Come on, guys. We should celebrate!' he suggested for the hundredth time and, though the others were walking ahead, he knew they were grimacing. Or were they scowling? His x-ray vision wasn't that good… 'Bros' bonding time!'

'We are grateful for your help, Maxwell. You do know Winner quite well. You may go home now.' Heero offered when they reached their car.

'I ain't going nowhere.'


79. Formalism

'What about that one?' Duo asked, pointing at yet another young woman in yet another tight dress drinking yet another cocktail.

'What of her?' Heero gave her a brief glance.

'Shiny dark hair, sparkling white teeth, generous cleavage, perfectly round ass, long sinewy legs…'

'Is appearance all that matters to you, Maxwell?' Trowa asked, sipping his drink.

'If forgetting Relena is what he wants, a more…lavish… date is his best choice.'

'You want to forget her? But she's great!'

Heero met his friend's wide green eyes. 'It would never work.'

'Pessimistic much? Wow! Look at the size of those babies!'


80. Lobe

'Biggest ears I've ever seen.' Trowa had to agree.

Heero finished his drink. 'I'm leaving. It's far too early to be drinking.'

'Hey, 'Ro! Wait!'

His eyebrows rose very slowly. 'Ro?'

'What? Who called you that? You should totally kill them.' Duo looked over his shoulder, searchingly. 'What you gonna do about Ms. Pretty-Pink-Princess?'

'Give Dorothy back her money.'

'But then she'll just hire someone else!'

'He's right, Yuy. You know it.' Trowa couldn't take his eyes off the woman's ears.

Heero sighed. 'What do you suggest I do then?'

Duo handed him the Dating Guide and Tips book. 'Persevere.'


81. Circumlocution

'Dorothy, I should be in class. Not visiting this…' she looked up at the flashy pink neon lights. 'mature content selling establishment.'

'Prude.'

Relena scowled, but did not disagree. Her scowl turned into something that resembled a pout instead. 'Ha!' Dorothy exclaimed. 'Don't worry, we'll stay away from the toys and go straight for the lingerie.'

'Don't you think you're taking things a little too…rapidly?'

Dorothy rolled her eyes. 'It's for me, Relena. Not for you. For you we'd need to shop at Granny's.'

'Oh, I doubt this is your usual shop!'

'No, but discomfiting you is my usual pastime.'


82. Hermitage

'If I'm going to do this, I will do it my way.' Heero informed thrusting the book at Trowa.

'Alright!' Duo stood up ready to follow. 'We're gonna help.'

'Alone.'

'That's fine, man. I'm not into threesomes. I mean… Isn't it hard enough with two people already? Jeez!'

'You're not coming, Maxwell.' Heero reinforced.

'Dammit.' Duo scowled at the man's back, then stuck out his tongue at him for good measure. 'Did ya' see that? Are you going to allow your buddy to isolate himself like that?'

'Uh… Yeah. Now, sit down, Maxwell. Big-ears looks like she's about to perform.'


83. Prolix

'Oh! Here. I forgot.' Dorothy handed her a piece of paper, before disappearing behind red velvet curtains.

'What's this?' Relena frowned.

'Heero's address and phone number. He wants you there tomorrow at eight.'

'What?!' she couldn't see Dorothy's face, but she sounded quite serious.

'He wants to take you hiking, but was too shy to ask.' She sounded really casual, and yet all Relena could think of was what her brother would say if she went to a man's house alone and he found out about it. She would surely listen to the sermon and it would last for ages.


84. Tryst

'Dorothy.' Relena peered in for a second before remembering what kind of lingerie her former nemesis was trying on. She hurriedly closed the curtains again, blushing. 'I can't do this.'

'Come on, old maid. It's just a date.' The woman peeked through the curtains long enough to roll her eyes.

'A date…'

'At his place.' Dorothy stepped out. 'What are you? Four?'

'Oh, my God! Dorothy!' Relena covered her eyes, spinning on her heels.

'I know, right? We should definitely get you one too.'

'We should definitely get me home.'

'Yeah… You'll have an early morning, after all… Eight o'clock!'