Chapter 11! Sorry guys but it's a short chapter and I sorta rushed it. Please enjoy it and keep reviewing as always!

Happy Reading/ Writing!


Wednesday

I got out of bed pretty early. I couldn't sleep. Being constantly worried didn't help me get any rest. Then again, I doubt being constantly worried helped anyone sleep.

I quietly tip-toed out of my cabin, avoiding making any sound. My cabin mates were still asleep and I didn't want to wake them.

After silently changing my clothes, I went to the stables. It was still fairly dark outside and a little cold. The walk to the stables took just a few minutes. My cabin was the closest to it after all.

When I got there, I saw a hooded figure standing in front of a paddock. The person was petting Smokey.

"Clare?" I called out.

The person jumped and whirled around. It was Clare. She wasn't wearing glasses today, so I could see her dead looking eyes. Her right cheek was puffy along with her eye. Her mouth was more bruised than the last time I saw her and I could see a little blood trickle down from her nose. Over all, Clare looked like an abused puppy.

I tried my best to smile and said, "Hey Clare. Long time no see. Where have you been?"

"Nowhere," she said quickly. Her eyes shifted from side to side, as if she's seeing if someone was around. There probably was.

"Clare what's going on?" I asked firmly.

"Nothing," she muttered then went back to stroking Smokey.

I walked up to Clare and put a hand on her shoulder. Clare shrieked and pulled away. Her sudden outburst startled the grey mustang behind her, causing him to toss his head and trot away. Clare backed up against the fence and held her hands above her face defensively. There was fear in her eyes. Did she think that I was going to hit her?

"I wasn't going to hurt you," I said.

My terrified friend slowly lowered her arms and whispered, "I know." Her scared eyes went back to looking dead.

"You know, if you want to talk about anything I'm here," I said.

"I don't want to talk," Clare said darkly.

"Maybe not right now, but later...." Clare cut me off.

"I said I don't want to talk." Clare's voice quivered slightly. Her dull brown eyes flashed red for a second then faded back. She stared at nothing, which scared me. 'Optimus, please hurry,' I thought. My friend was getting worse by the day.

"Ok," I said softly then walked away.

Clare POV

For the past week, Megatron has been visiting me every night. He's been abusing me during that time. He would always have a reason to punish me wether it was me not responding to him, not calling him "lord", or just thinking about anything other than him. I've noticed that he gets more and more angry with me for those reasons.

When I'm forced to be in bed with him, Megatron always expects me to submit to him and to enjoy the so-called pleasure he's giving to me. Submitting was easy, since that's the only thing I could do when he's around. Now, being submissive is like second nature to me, which pleases my lord greatly. Enjoying what he's giving me, however, gets harder each time he takes me.

The thing is, Megatron finds pain pleasurable. I don't, and it frustrates him. At first, Megatron enjoyed fucking me despite what my reaction was. But now, for some reason, he wants me to like it. He's sometimes gets desperate when he tries to make me moan or grab onto him. He tries to make me love him. I really don't understand why.

After failing to bring me pleasure, Megatron usually punishes me by beating me. I'm always the blame for his failures, just like Starscream. Now I know how the Seeker feels. I know how he's been feeling for all those years.

Because Megatron hits me all the time, I've gotten very paranoid. I know this because I could see it in Megatron's mind. He likes my insecurity. He enjoys watching me flinch at every one of his movements, at everyone's movements for that matter. I however hated it. I hated being like this. Being weak.

Another form of "punishment" was Megatron stopping my energon flow. It's a painful experience and it takes a while for me to regain control over my energy. Because of this, I couldn't defend myself in any way and my body couldn't heal as fast. The bruises on my body were growing larger in size and in numbers. My limbs were constantly stiff and in pain. I've grown much weaker and exhausted because it too.

The worst punishment of all if when Megatron stuffs all of his memories into my head. Each time he enters my mind I get more insane. He shows me so many disturbing things from his memories. Even his thoughts and fantasies were disturbing. Most of his memories are from war. They had a lot of death and torture. Seeing it all at the same time just made me go mad. I could sometimes hear the screams of those Autobots when they got their heads torn off. I could smell the diesel and spilled energon everywhere. I could feel their pain. It was even more painful than having my flow stopped. It takes longer for me to recover each time he does it. I feel more distant and dead afterwards. I become his mindless little......whore.

I looked up and realized that I was alone. Smokey ran away from me, scared by my outburst. I just drove Caitlin off. Damn it all: my mood swings, and my weakness. Damn myself.

"Aw. The pathetic little human is all alone," a voice snarled behind me.

I turned and saw Starscream's hologram stroll up to me. My eyes glanced at his face, then dragged down to his feet. I couldn't look at him. I just couldn't.

"What? No smart comment?" Starscream taunted. "I'm insulted."

"If you won't leave me along, Lord Megatron will get angry," I murmured. I was unable to make myself talk louder. There really was no reason to.

"Are you threatening me!?" Starscream roared, making me flinch.

"No, just warning," I said. "There is no need to give Megatron a reason to assault you or me."

Even when staring at his feet, I could tell that Starscream was shaken by what I said. Everything went silent until the hologram first broke the silence.

"Why?" he asked. "Why are you like this? You always gave Barricade a hard time back when he was online but you don't even bother with me." I heard some jealousy in his voice. He wanted the attention, it was obvious.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "You haven't really done anything to me like Megatron and Barricade did. I have nothing against you."

Starscream came closer to me. My heart began to pound against my chest. He was really close and I did not like it. My body trembled slightly as I saw his hand reach out towards me. In a quick move, Starscream grabbed onto my hair and wrenched my head back. I gasped at the sudden move and brought my arms up. I closed my eyes in a desperate attempt to not look at the Decepticon's hologram. A whimper escaped from my lips when Starscream feathered his mouth over my cheek. He nipped at my neck a few times before nuzzling my neck. He inhaled deeply, just like Megatron does when he smells me.

Starscream let go of my hair and grabbed onto my chin then pulled my face up for his kiss. I didn't know what to do. What would happen if I grabbed onto the hologram's shirt. Should I push into him or pull away? I didn't know if he loved control like Megatron did. I didn't want to be punished for doing something Starscream didn't like. So, like always, I merely submitted to him. There was nothing else for me to do.

The hologram forced his tongue into my mouth. He pulled me closer and deepened the kiss. I whimpered as his tongue roamed my mouth, but he wasn't doing it roughly. I was somewhat relieved to feel Starscream hesitate. He could do so much more to me and he knows it. I didn't know what was holding him back though.

"Why did you say sorry?" he growled into my ear right after he broke the kiss.

"Because I knew how uncomfortable you were. I knew how much you hated Megatron and me. I was sorry that you were in that situation," I puled. "I have some of Megatron's memories, so I know how many times he has abused you. I feel like I know how you feel. I just pity you."

Starscream responded by slapping me with the back of his hand. I let out a little gasp as I fell back against the fence. The hologram grabbed my chin again and forced me to look into his furious eyes.

"You little brat," he growled. "You know nothing!" With that said, the hologram disappeared and I dropped to my knees. I faintly heard metal clanking from a distance. Then a jet suddenly flew over head and out of sight.

I hoped to gain Starscream's trust. I wished to bring him to my side. But, I guess he's just too selfish to trust me or anyone else. At least I was temporarily safe from both Starscream and Megatron. I knew for sure that Megatron won't be able to touch me for the rest of the day. He was gathering his Decepticon minions for an unknown reason.

While Megatron enters my mind, I do see a few glimpses of what he's thinking. But he's somehow able to block off most of his plans from me, which is unhelpful for my part. I knew for sure that Megatron knew who the Fallen was and I somehow had to keep the Fallen away from the Matrix; whatever that was.

I realized that the sun was coming up, so I hurried back to my cabin. I did not want to be seen by any camp councilors. They might question why I'm up so early or see my bruises. Not anything I want to talk about.

I managed to get back into my cabin safely. My cabin looked as if a tornado had gone through it. Everything was either scattered, broken, or tipped over. Clothes, furniture, everything was ruined by none other than Megatron. He took his rage out on me and my things. Once, he tried to intimidate me by smashing chairs near my face. It worked.

My suitcase sat untouched in the corner. The toy truck, named Wheelie, was still in it. Although I never bothered taking him out, the little mech still talks to me through the suitcase. He usually complains about how loud I get when Megatron's.....punishing me. Other times he says that I've got to keep strong. Wheelie calls me Warrior Goddess. I knew I should have been flattered but I wasn't. I thought of it as a lie. I wasn't a warrior nor a goddess. I was nothing close to being either.

"Hey uh, Warrior Goddess?" Wheelie called out suddenly. "How long do you plan on keepin' me in this here traveling case?"

"Depends," I said darkly. "When are you going to tell me who the Fallen is and what Megatron's planning?"

The little 'bot's groan was slightly muffled by the suitcase. "You know I can't tell you," he said.

"Well then," I said back. "You're not coming out."

Wheelie went silent and I sighed. I sat down on my torn and broken bed. My eyes roamed the scarred wall. Each time Megatron left me, I carved the symbols I saw onto the walls. It was the only way to see them without having a migraine. The symbols were like a puzzle and like any puzzle, it needed to be solved. I would have thought that having Megatron's memories would let me be able to understand and read this. But obviously that wouldn't happen.

"You know, Megatron won't be very happy with you," Wheelie said.

"When is he ever happy with me?" I sighed.

"True, but still. Soundwave just told all of us that you contacted the Autobots."

I froze. What was he talking about?

"I didn't contact the Autobots," I said hollowly. "I can't even find my cell phone. It's been gone ever since Caitlin was....." I stopped for a second, then understood what had happened. 'Caitlin took my cell phone,' I thought. 'You called the Autobots. You ratted me out again.' Oddly enough, I wasn't angry. She did the thing I never had the courage to do. I was slightly relieved. I knew that if she told Optimus about my condition, he would immediately come here and save me. But, what will he say when he sees me like this? What will he think? God, he can't see me like this. I can't tell him what happened. He'll hate me for being weak. "Optimus," I whimpered. "Please forgive me."

"Uh...sorry to interrupt but we still have the problem that involves Megatron slagging us," Wheelie said frantically.

"What's this 'we' and 'us' thing? I'm going to be the one who will get into trouble, not you. Megatron doesn't even acknowledge your existence anymore. You're just a failed toy to him" It was a harsh thing to say, but it silenced the small mech.

I quietly staggered to the bathroom, which was the only intact are in the cabin. I stared at the girl in the mirror. I didn't know who she was. Long shine-less black hair fell to her shoulders and covered half of her bruised face. Her eyes looked dead and distant. I could see that she was trembling.

I was cold and I've been cold for more than a week. It was so unnatural. My body was skinnier than usual. I haven't been eating, at all, and it's been taking a big toll on my body. My scalp was aching like no other. Probably because Megatron keeps grabbing my hair and pulling it, same with Starscream just a while ago. I hated how they did that.

Without thinking, I grabbed the scissors that were on the counter and began cutting my hair. All of it. I wasn't the best hair cutter, so it came out choppy so I kept cutting more of it off. The more I cut, the more I felt like I was losing myself but I didn't stop. Finally after much cutting, my hair was like a pixie cut. When I was done, I stared back at the mirror. I was unrecognizable. Good.

After cleaning up all of the hair, I took a quick warm shower. Washing my hair took about a minute because it was so short. The warm water felt good against my pained body. I leaned against the wall and allowed the hot sprays to beat down my body. It's been a while since I've felt this relaxed.