Enzo Amore - I GOT THE GOLD, THE GLORY, AND THE GIRLS!

Neville - So by girls, you mean hookers?

Enzo Amore - Pft, hater, I do what TJP does when I got a hater.

TJP - DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.

Enzo Amore - *Dab*

Neville - GOD FUCKING DAMMIT NOW I GOTTA KILL JAKE PAUL.


Paul Heyman posted a photo

Paul Heyman - THIS IS THE GREATEST WORLD CHAMPION OF ALL TIME!

Brock Lesnar likes this.

Finn Balor - This is the laziest world champion of all time.

Kevin Owens and 50 others like this.

Sami Zayn - This is the most useless world champion of all time.

Shinsuke Nakamura and 62 others like this.

Brock Lesnar - You wanna fight?

Asuka - I do, and put the title on the line.

Brock Lesnar - Sure, Paul, back me up here.

Paul Heyman - HHINOANOYPYBO PA YOGYOYOWQYOETYOHUg ubps gyug yqewg asuodpg upoqegupo fqwguofguqwgu;qegusafsdbkjvb

Brock Lesnar - …

Asuka - My place, 10 p.m. be there or be square.

Brock Lesnar - PAULLLL...

Vince McMahon - Asuka, you fucked up.

Dean Ambrose - More like the other way around.


Asuka posted a photo

Asuka - NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION AND NEW FEMALE WORLD CHAMPION.

The whole fucking universe including aliens like this.

Vince McMahon - HOW'D SHE WIN?

Shinsuke Nakamura - All she did was grab his arm and he tapped out.

Vince McMahon - REALLY?!

Asuka - Yes.

Vince McMahon - DOESN'T COUNT, BROCK IS STILL CHAMPION.

9,000,000,000,000 dislike this.

Vince McCockFace - I'm not what I'm not more concerned about, the fact that a lot of people hate this or apparently aliens also hate this.

Asuka - I discovered aliens...BITCH.


Shinsuke Nakamura - Well, after the promo with Jinder, I'm gonna beat the living piss out of him.

Jinder Mahal - I DID IT FOR HEAT.

Hideo Itami - You didn't need to be a racist fuccboi.

Jinder Mahal - Christ, I did it for heat!

Drew McIntyre - In all fairness, at least he isn't legit racist.

Jinder Mahal - THANK YOU.

Hideo Itami - Hey Asuka, you wanna win another title?

Jinder Mahal - OH GOD NO!


Asuka posted a photo.

Asuka - TWO TIME WORLD CHAMPION AND I HAVEN'T MADE IT ONTO THE MAIN ROSTER YET.

The Miz - Yeah, because the author loves you.

Enzo Amore - Hee hee, he's right.

Asuka - TIME TO WIN MORE TITLES!

Enzo Amore - Oh no.


Asuka has posted a photo

Asuka - It's official, I've won every male singles title on Raw, and I haven't even debuted yet.

Enzo Amore - DID YOU HAVE TO KICK ME IN THE BALLS AGAIN?

Asuka - Yes.

Enzo Amore - DAMMIT I POSSIBLY LOST MY FERTILITY TO YOU.

Shinsuke Nakamura - Confirmed, Asuka is the one on top.

Kassius Ohno - Yup.

Vince McDickLick - ALL THE REIGNS DON'T COUNT.

Enzo Amore - THANK GOD.

Asuka - ...Enzo's gonna die now.

Enzo Amore - Help me…


Enzo Amore sent Liv Morgan a message

Enzo Amore - HELP ME!

Liv Morgan - No.

Enzo Amore - I'll give you money!

Liv Morgan - No.

Enzo Amore - My house!

Liv Morgan - No.

Enzo Amore - ANYTHING?!

Liv Morgan - No.

Enzo Amore - How about we get back together? You want my 'zo.

Liv Morgan - Nope, I went UK style.

Enzo Amore - WITH WHO?

Liv Morgan added Tyler Bate to the conversation.

Tyler Bate - Me. BTW Asuka, end him.

Asuka - With pleasure.


Enzo Amore - SHE KICKED MY DICK OFF.

Asuka, Liv Morgan, Tyler Bate, Neville, and 150,000,000 like this.


Vince McDickLick - I JUST REALIZED ASUKA CHANGED MY NAME BACK BRIEFLY.