DISCLAIMER- I could but only dream of owning Squall.......

Author's notes: Hate to keep this brief, but my mother's rushing me to hurry so she can get on ebay. She's partly to blame for my lack of updating. Over the weekend I have almost no computer time because she's selling stuff on ebay. :( Anyway, I think you know the drill so I won't reiterate myself.

Difference of Doctoral Experiences

A silence filled the room that could discomfort the resting dead. It was nearly as debilitating as his blindness had initially been. He couldn't hear anyone else in the room. It felt like he was in a tiny box; one that was growing smaller and smaller. Lack of sight was something he was gradually becoming accustomed to. As a direct effect however, he had depended heavily on his sense of hearing. Right now all he could hear was his own breaths; heavy and uneven. Although Odine was there to see him; Rinoa had already caught his attention, and Squall didn't like the man. Something about the little doctor was disturbing and unnerving.

A firm hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him over towards Dr. Kadowaki's desk. "Sit here Squall," Kadowaki placed his hand on her chair. Squall did as he was told, relieved that a desk now stood between Odine and himself. "Rinoa dear, I guess you'll just have to sit on the desk. I don't think I have any other stools."

"You can have mine," Laguna offered.

"That's okay," Rinoa answered as she sat down on Squall's lap. "Thanks anyway." There was a shocked silence as Squall imagined the two other men in the room taking Rinoa's action as a suprise. Shuffling in front of him told him that Kadowaki could really care less what had just happened. The woman took everything in a steady stride. Rinoa scooted back a little in discomfort and Squall put an arm around her waist so that his finger tips just barely brushed her thigh. It was an extremely bold move for him to do that in public. Laguna however had put him in an uncomfortable situation, so now it was Squall's turn to do the same in return. He fought the urge to interrogate the Estharian president, and was relieved when Dr. Kadowaki began talking.

"Mr. Loire brought Dr. Odine here to address a rather important situation. I regret to have called so late, but the procedure needs to be addressed as soon as possible before it too becomes useless," Dr. Kadowaki began speaking. "Squall, I'm sure that you're fully aware that I have evaluated your situation, and considered all possible procedures that may have been applicable to your recovery. I had sincerely hoped that your vision would return at least partially, but things don't always work out like I'd like them to." There was a pause. Across the room, Squall could hear the shifting of the other men, and Kadowaki approaching them. "Dr. Odine has reviewed the scans taken of your head and the notes taken based on your injuries. He came to my office this morning and confronted me with a procedure that he believes will allow you to regain at least some of your vision." She sighed as she continued. "The reason I had you come down here to talk to him in my presence, is because I'm weary of his proposed technique."

"Vait! Vait!" Odine interjected. "At leazt let me explain ze procedure!"

"Dr. Odine!" Dr. Kadowaki snapped. "Correct me if I'm mistaken, but we've already had a conversation in which you agreed to remain absolutely silent until I was finished." Squall could hear the smaller man sit down quickly.

"My apologiez," Odine sounded as if she'd wounded his pride. She probably had. Squall smiled a little bit but hid it behind Rinoa.

"Let's continue then," Dr. Kadowaki picked back up where she left off as if nothing had happened. "Dr. Odine is basically proposing to surgically mend the damage sustained in your accident. While it is common knowledge that the medical facilities in Balamb and Galbadia territories are advanced in certain fields, neither of them have the sophisticated capabilities to execute the type of operation Dr. Odine is calling for. It has been pointed out in many exhibitions that Esthar is far more advanced medically and technologically. The procedure Dr. Odine is wanting to use has about a forty-five percent success rate at restoring normal vision. My worry is that as long as your eyes and nerves are not tampered with by surgical means, there is still a slim chance that you may regain some of your vision. If you should decide to hear Dr. Odine out, admit to his procedure and it fail, there will be no other chance for you to recover your vision. Once those sensitive tissues are damaged or tampered with, its rare for them to be mended. Much less be restored to their pre-injured condition. I just don't want to get your hopes up. Odine does make it sound really good. I just felt that it was my duty to see to it that you completely understood the circumstances of what is being proposed."

Once she was finished, Squall leaned back in his chair, careful not to throw Rinoa off balance. "Dr. Odine?"

"Yez my boy," he quickly jumped to his feet and scurried to the desk. Squall readied himself.

'If he so much as steps past it....' Squall thought.

"I apologize for being zo hard to contact. I vaz on a trip to Deling whenever Prezident Loire finally reached me. Once I heard of your injury I immediately contacted Dr. Kadovaki." He paused for only a brief instant before continuing. "The procedure I propoze iz a very difficult one. Not for me az a doctor, juzt medically zpeaking. I vill have to expoze the optic nerve in order to execute the operation. That alone iz quite a feat and iz Dr. Kadovaki's main concern. In all honezty. I believe that you zhould conzider my propozal. Az long az you have been blind, the chanzez of your zight recovering are very minute. Having zaid that, I zhould only varn you zat ze longer you vait, ze lez chance you have at zis operation vorking."

~*~*~*~*~

Two hours had passed since they'd left the infirmary, and still he'd yet to announce his decision. He needed to be able to see; if not for himself, then for her. She lightly slid her hand across his clavicle. (collar bone) Judging by her even breaths, she had either drifted off into a light sleep, or was just very relaxed. He hoped for the latter.

Squall thought about the scene in the infirmary. Odine was a crazy fool, but he was also highly intelligent. 'Maybe too intelligent for his own good,' Squall thought about Odine's part in the whole Ultimecia mess.

"You asleep?" He asked Rinoa who was laying with her head on his chest. She didn't answer at first, and he grew silent. He didn't want to wake her if she was sleeping. Her sleep had been troubled enough as of lately anyway.

She sighed and then slid her hand along the base of his neck. He closed his eyes as he focused on the feel of her soft fingers. "Is it better to take a chance and risk loosing what your chasing after, or to play it safe and hope that what you seek will come to you?" He didn't answer. How could he? A similar thought had been racing through his mind ever since he found out there was a shred of hope for recovery.

They continued to lie quietly in the comfort of each others' arms for a few minutes more. Neither of them wanted to break the silence. He knew she wanted him to see at least as much as he wanted to, and then sometimes he wondered if she wanted him to be able to see more. She didn't pity him, or feel sorry for him, but every time he stumbled, tripped, or messed up because of his blindness, he could almost feel her getting distraught. It was really something new to him. He wondered if what he was feeling was similar to what she felt whenever she read his emotions. Maybe it was a sorceress-knight thing; he didn't know.

"I need to be able to see again," He finally spoke. Although he couldn't see it on her face, he knew that he had her full attention and she expected him to continue. "I may never see if I just lay around here and wait for it...." He sighed aloud. "I think I should do it. I may never even get any part of my sight back if I don't."

"Our relationship is built on taking chances," Rinoa spoke softly. "You took me to Esthar, and jumped out in space to save me. You kept me from being sealed away once we reached the ground again.....and I don't see why you shouldn't do this either. If you don't and you grow old without ever gaining at least some of your sight back, you'll drive yourself mad by dwelling on the what if questions." He hugged her tighter before reaching up above his head and grabbing the phone.

"Can you dial the number?" He asked nervously.

"Mm hm," She answered as she pushed the buttons in for him. He didn't realize it until he had the phone up against his ear, but his hand was shaking. After two rings there was an answer.

"This is Squall....When's the soonest I can go to surgery?"

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Sorry this one took so long and was so short. I had originally planned on Dr. Kadowaki and Dr. Odine fighting it out or Squall and Laguna, but it just didn't read right. Will update sooner, and with a more interesting chapter I promise. In the meantime, please review. They make my day and really do encourage me to write more and sooner.