A/N: A special thanks to CBgurl22 and all the others who have reviewed, my source of inspiration.
Damian stared at the plastered ceiling with its intricate designs. The clock indicated it was one in the morning. He had long since given up his sleep as her eyes haunted him and the agony in them ripped his heart. Mentally he knew he did what was best for her but emotionally, helpless was what he felt. He wished he could take her into his arms and say he was there to love and cherish her. To tell he was there for her till the end. But he bloody well couldn't now did he? She will only close up not believing and he was not prepared to go back to square one. They were way beyond that.
Impatient, Damian pushed himself up and walked blindly towards her room needing to see her. He opened the door silently not wanting to awaken and frighten her to death. Thankfully she was sound asleep. He sat at the stool beside the bed and stared at her a long minute. A single candle lit the room and it was enough for Damian to memorize her features. In her sleep, Mary still managed to look lost. He wondered how long will it take for her to find her way back. He was there to guide her.
Before he could think better of it, he laid his hand on her cool cheek. She rubbed her cheek at the warmth of his palm and gave a sigh. Unable to control himself, Damian replaced his palm with his lips. He continued kissing her till he reached her jaw line and knowing he took more advantage than he should have, Damian stopped reluctantly. Mary would not appreciate it and like a long lost memory, he remembered a poem he read long ago before Mary came into his life. He didn't understand them then but it was all he could feel now. He spoke the words barely in a whisper to the still sleeping Mary.
Although I conquer all the earth,
Yet for me there is only one city.
In that city there is for me only one house;
And in that house, one room only;
And in that room, a bed.
And one woman sleeps there
The shining joy and jewel of all my kingdom.
At the end of the sentence, Mary opened her eyes feeling warm all over and looked straight into Damian. She smiled sleepily sure it was a dream as usual. A sweet one. He looked at her with his face alive with love just the way she always wished for. It was her dream and since she wasted her first dream of Damian, she was going to make the best of it this time around. Mary cupped his face, pulling him closer to her. He frowned slightly and all was lost when she finally laid her lips on his. She took as she longed to take and gave as much as she wanted to give. Her fingers threaded through his thick hair and she savored the heady taste of aphrodisiac. After what seems like an eternity, she gently ended the kiss and looked into his glazed eyes.
"You took your time coming into my dreams but the wait was worth it. Good night, my midnight lover." Mary whispered and slept with a smile on her face.
...
Mary thought it was a day for revelations as she sat twisting her swing round and around. First, she loved dreams because nobody had to know what she dreamed of and her dream last night topped the events yesterday. The dream was almost too real and it was wonderful. This time it was she who was the aggressor. Nobody would think she had it in her of course but that did not matter, they did not need to know. She hoped she dreamed them everyday.
The second, which was far more important, she realized that the obsession she had towards Damian's ceased and was instead replaced by love. In her opinion, the later was worse. That was a mistake only an idiot like her can afford to make. It was barely twenty four hours since he told her they were just good friends and she was already pledging her undying love. But for heaven's sake, how could she not fall in love with him? In her estimation, a man who saw a woman for what was inside rather than judging her from her looks alone was a man in the truest sense. Also add the fact that he has been very kind to her since day one.
Really, what could she do? She never expected to be in love. It caught her unaware and the consequence to love someone, especially somebody like Damian, was always too high. Poets like Lord Byron and Shakespeare knew what they were talking about, she guessed. Love is the key to misery. It opened room for feelings you never knew existed to rush and take you of your feet. When you are comfortable with the feelings, reality came crashing in and you get yourself a heart break. Like the lovers she saw in the play. In her case, Damian was a duke and he was therefore expected to marry someone equal to his standard and position. The daughter of another duke she supposed. Good for who ever she was. Not.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, looking at the ground, she seriously wished she was impulsive and daring as Lizzie. Being Lizzie, she would probably wait for him and when he arrived, she will stalk him just for the sheer hell of it, hoping to make him nervous. Then, with her eyes narrowed, she would probably give him an indulgent smile and demand him to love and marry her ignoring the dictates of society. And, dreams were dreams because in reality, it was a different matter altogether. In this universe, Mary would just have to tie her love in a very tight lock, as if she didn't already, and pretend she was satisfied and comfortable with her decision. She was after all, the master of pretension. Not funny.
Mary almost fell to the ground when somebody clasped her shoulders from the back. The swing untwisted itself and she let out an undignified screech.
"Why am I even surprised, Damian?" Mary asked trying to control her racing heart beat. That man will one day not only be the cause of her heartbreak but her death too, she was sure of it.
"Hold on Mary, I'm afraid you have to repeat your words. My ears are still ringing." Damian joked.
"Ha ha…., what are you doing here anyway? Don't you have any work to do?" Mary didn't believe that he could have accumulated this vast amount of wealth by being idle, unless he was into smuggling. Oh dear.
"Damian, you… you are not into any business that is against the law are you?" Mary asked feeling slightly sick.
"Mary, I have to kill you now as you have managed to find my secret. Which is the method of your choice? Strangulation or a gun shot?" Damian asked enjoying himself. Mary looked better than yesterday and there was a glint in her eye that he could not comprehend. He itched to ask whether she remembered last night at all. He hoped she did.
"Aren't you full of jokes today? Unfortunate for you, I'm not." Mary stood up from her swing. She was more in control when she stood as although she didn't want to admit it, she was quite intimidated with Damian looming over her.
"I'm not being idle. I need to rest my brains once in a while or they will fry. Did you sleep well?" He asked as innocently as possible walking along with her.
Mary stopped in her tracks and turned her head slowly towards Damian. He could not possibly know she dreamed of him in that way did he? It was just a question Mary, you don't have to think to death about it.
"I believe I did." Mary answered. "Why?" She couldn't help that.
"Nothing. I slept the same as you did. Peacefully." Damian added helpfully.
"Good for you. Sleeping is very important." A good topic Mary. You should talk about vegetables next. He would love it.
"Sure it does. You can't dream if you don't sleep now do you?" Damian continued with a tongue in his cheek.
"Are you trying to tell me something, Damian? Because I don't understand where is this topic heading." Please let last night be a dream, Mary prayed fervently. She didn't want to embarrass herself once again.
"You don't? Too bad. I guess we shall continue this topic another time then. I'm going to start my journey to Ireland in an hour. I'll probably be back after a fortnight or so depending on the circumstances." Damian informed.
"Ireland? An hour? Why are you just telling me?" Mary demanded. He was telling her he was going to be unavailable for two long weeks in his oh-so-calm tone. Didn't he know that she was going to miss him? He was her friend and yes, the love of her life. Well, not that dramatic, of course. Coming back to the point, if he only had bothered to tell her earlier, she would have been more prepared.
"I'm telling you now aren't I? Mary, I'm not accustomed of explaining myself and my whereabouts to anyone." Damian explained patiently.
"You got yourself a friend now, so you better get use to it Damian." Not explain himself to anyone indeed. What rubbish.
"I have no idea what has gotten into you. Anyway, the Greenfield's are having a ball at the end of the month. I should be here by then. You will accompany me to their ball. Their's are one of the very best ball in whole England." Damian told her not realizing Mary was standing very rigid.
"I will accompany you? Since when?" How could he be so high handed? He didn't even bother to ask her. She hated balls anyway. How could he not know? Fine, she will spell it out to him.
"Damian, I can't accompany you, I'm sorry. Furthermore, I don't like balls and prefer to spend my evening with other profitable things." Many things are profitable compared to watching other ladies flaunt their charms on Damian. He was, after all, a hell of a catch. Some duke's daughter remember?
"You can't always have what you want Mary. I'll ask mother to help you find the appropriate dress as I doubt you would have brought anything that is suitable. Not a problem." Damian assured her. What was wrong with Mary? Why was she taking everything he said offensively?
"Damian, I hate balls because I'm a certified wallflower. I never once was asked for a dance besides my father and brothers in law. You need a lady who can socialize well beside you on that night as you said yourself that it is a superb ball and obviously everyone in position will be there. You need to create a good impression and bringing me will just be the opposite. I don't have to tell you all this. You know that by yourself. But I appreciate the thought. Have a good trip." Mary finished feeling matured for once. Not a nice feeling, she discovered. But then, doing the right thing was often not very nice.
"What do you take me for, Mary? What exactly?" Damian asked with temper, gripping her arm in a painful hold. Didn't she still get it? That he was different? That she was everything to him and to hell with the others?
"What do you mean? You are my friend and I want what's best for you." I wish you were more than that Damian but that's a fool's dream.
"We will both go to the ball, Mary. There will be no more discussion about this." Damian said in a tone of finality. Mary opened her mouth but Damian was quicker. He ravaged her mouth and stroked her body possessively. She was his and that was all he cared about.
Good friends? Mary thought. Did he treat all his good friends with a soul shattering kiss? Damian looked at her reddened cheeks and swollen lips. Damn it! How could he lose his control just like that? He was supposed to be more patient with her. What will she think of him now? Very stupid of him.
"Damian, I love you." Mary blurted out in the heat of the moment.
"What?" Damian asked wanting to hear her say the words again.
"I…God, it was nothing. Slip of tongue. That's all. You should start leaving or you will be late." Mary tried to push him but to no avail.
"Although I conquer all the earth,
Yet for me there is only one city.
In that city there is for me only one house;
And in that house, one room only;
And in that room, a bed.
And one woman sleeps there
The shining joy and jewel of all my kingdom." Damian repeated with smoldering eyes. By now, he was too tired to care whether it was yet another mistake. Mary stopped her struggles.
"It was not a dream was it?" She asked softly. Damian shook his head slowly. Mary laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes for a moment. What was she supposed to do now? Still pretend to be blind and deaf to the feelings that insisted on coming her way?
"You will tell me the words again, Mary but on your own. I'll not force you. We need the time and distance Mary. I'll not change my mind but I'm hoping you will." Mary heard him saying. She with drawed herself from him feeling conflicted. Why must he make it complicated? She was not the kind of girl who can shower love towards another. For god's sake, she can't even speak out her feelings usually. Keeping it tight was her forth.
"What are you telling me Damian?" She asked forlornly.
"I'm telling you I love you and I know that you do. But unlike you, I'm willing to take the dice and roll. Life comes with no guarantee, Mary. Think about it while you miss me. Look at the stars and know that I shall be looking at them too, thinking of you. Loving you. You will be the last thing that I think about before I sleep and the first when I rise." He gave her one hard kiss and left Mary feeling staggered.
