Yay! My very first song-fic! I hope I did it right...Enjoy.
Drunk With Ranger
Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party-time necessity
Alchool, alternative to feeling like yourself
O alcohol, I still drink to your health
It was three in the morning, and Ranger and I were sitting on top of a big rock in the middle of the Badlands, South Dakota.We were both drunker than hell, having been thrown out of a bar for disturbing the peace and singing. So we wandered around for a while and finally made it to the Window Trail, where we staggered over rocks looking for a place to sit. And here we are.
"Hey Ranger," I said, passing the wine bottle to him.
He took a swig and handed it back to me. "Yeah?"
"Alcohol is like, the best thing ever."
"No fucking kidding."
I took another gulp of wine. "Hey Ranger."
"Yeah?"
I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
"Have I mentioned that I loved you?"
"No, I don't think you have. Really? That's kinda cool."
I probably wouldn't have said that if I were sober. I was nineteen, and I fell in love with Ranger a month ago when we were stranded in the middle of the ocean. Somehow the wine made it all the more magical.
Forget the caffe latte, screw the raspberry iced tea
A malibu and coke for you, a G and T for me
Alcohol, your songs resolve like
My life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill
Ranger took another gulp of wine. "Man, I can't believe I drink other stuff. Alcohol should be like, my main…um…thing."
I giggled and took the bottle back from him. "Totally. Good thing we let that other guy pay, right?" More like I swiped some stranger's wallet and paid for the wine with his credit card.
"Yeah, that was really nice of him," Ranger said.
I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
O alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else
"Aren't the stars pretty?" I said, tipping my head back. I sucked some wine out of the bottle. "I love this wine. It makes everything prettier. And…sparkly."
Ranger tipped his head back with me. "Takes the bad things away."
"Mmm…"
I thought that alcohol was just for those with
Nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
Was a waste of precious booze
"Ya know," Ranger said after a while, "I never used to drink for fun like this…mostly I just drank at like, a party. But not all…spontaneously like this."
"Freak. Drinking for fun is like, the coolest thing…ever."
But now I know that theres a time
And theres a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
Self-control and self-abuse
"Hey, one time, Tank and I got really drunk…and we were…uh…playing chicken in the road. You know, waiting for cars to come and stuff."
I smiled a goofy smile. "That sounds like fun."
Ranger wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed my neck. "You smell yummy," he said.
I giggled. "It's the wine. I spilled some on me."
Ranger gave my neck a lick. "Mmm…red wine…"
I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
"We should do this more often," I said, turning to him.
"Yeah. But next we'll bring more wine."
The bottle was almost empty, so Ranger and I headed back to our cabin. It was a mile away, and we had to walk along the highway, but we made it back okay.
Would you please ignore that you
Found me on the floor
Trying on your camisole?
O alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else.
I took a shower when we got back to our cabin. When I came out Ranger was on the floor, stuck inside my silk red camisole.
"I thought it was my shirt," Ranger said, trying to pull it over his head.
I giggled and tried to pull the thing off of him, but he was pretty stuck. "It's stuck, Rickykins, I can't get it off."
"I think it makes me look sexy," Ranger said, and then he passed out.
Would you please forgive me
Would you please forgive me
The next morning Ranger and I had one hell of a hangover.
"Never, ever again," Ranger groaned from his bed.
I pulled my pillow over my head. "EVER."
"Fucking alcohol."
"I like alcohol."
Ranger thought for a moment. "Me too."
"And you still look sexy in my camisole."
The END!
Song lyrics "Alcohol" by the Barenaked Ladies
