The Governor's mansion was not immune to the ensuing chaos. Elizabeth ran down the staircase. Damn Father for hiring a sleepwalking butler, she thought, watching Butler Number One amble to the door. Don't, was what she wanted to cry, but she heard there could be disastrous results if one wakened a sleepwalker. Oh why hadn't they opted for the narcoleptic butler instead? He could be dozing off to the side and out of trouble right now.

"Don't!" To hell with the consequences! Throw caution to the wind! Live on selfish impulse! Carpe Diem!

"Hello, chum," a rough, stocky fellow said on the porch, shooting Butler Number One right in the face. "Up there! Girl!"

"Are you sure it's not a bird or a plane?" his friend asked, a lanky, oily man with a wooden eye. Elizabeth ran off.

"She's definitely faster than a speeding bullet, though."

Elizabeth slammed the door behind her, taking Estrella by the shoulders.

"Oh why did I want to poison you? Why? Why? Why?" Her maid paced, wringing her hands. Poor thing, Elizabeth thought, delirious with fear.

"Estrella! They haven't seen you! There's still a chance for you to hide and then run to the fort the first chance you get!"

"You mean I can still be a super-villain? Oh, I so could! I've had this great idea about getting a really large laser and… Oh, yes, miss, right away, miss. You do know they're here to kidnap you, right? But now I must fly! Estrella awaaaayyyyy!"

Before she could ask anything, Estrella belted out a menacing laugh and disappeared into the night with her apron tied around her like a cape. Bizarre twit, she thought. They must be coming for me because I'm so important. Grabbing the bed warmer, she swung it at the tall one, giving her just enough time to slide down the banister.

"Wheeeeee!" she squealed, savoring a bit of fun before bolting for the dining room. If only there was a weapon here appropriate to fight a pirate with... of course. Reaching up for the wall decoration, she gripped the handle of one of its swords. I've always wanted to do this, she thought, only to have the entire decoration thud to the floor. Shaking it like a maraca, Elizabeth heard the doorknob turn. She threw open the door of the gigantic closet that no dining room has but theirs and stayed as quiet as she could.

Through the slats in the doors, she watched the duo enter.

"We know you're here, Muppet! Come out, and we promise not to hurt you."

"Hee hee, Muppet."

"You have something of ours. The gold calls to us."

"Hee hee, calls."

"Will you shut up?"

"Hee hee, up."

The gold? Her fingers wove around the medallion still hanging between her breasts. Wow, this is a pretty effective MacGuffin, she thought, before jumping at the jaundiced eyes staring at her through the slats.

"Hello, Muppet."

"Parley!" she screamed when they flung open the doors. "I invoke the right of parley. According to the Code of the brethren, set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew, you have to take me to your Captain, a nice, soaked Captain, if I may have a preference."

"I know the Code!" the stocky one snapped.

"If an adversary demands parley you can do them no harm until the parley is complete. My goodness, I had expected pirates to be as a whole a more attractive group and right now I'm 1 for 3. Oops, I said that out loud. You don't still want to hurt me, do you? Remember I parleyed!"

"Well, then we shall take you to our Captain," they said, giving each other knowing looks. Seizing her, they half-dragged, half-carried her down the chaos-ravaged streets. Ravage. That word again.

"Elizabeth!" She jerked at the sight of Will with a hammer running towards her. She'd had a nightmare of this happening once, only Will was Leatherface and the hammer was a chainsaw...actually, this was nowhere near that nightmare.

"Will, no! They'll steal the buckles right off your shoes!"

Fortunately, or not so fortunately, depending on your point of view, one of the more flamboyant and sadistic pirates whacked him on the head with a goblet, the size of which is only now seen in hip-hop videos, causing Will to slump to the ground.

Wow, Elizabeth thought, disillusioned. Twenty minutes in and he's already fainted twice. That has to be some kind of record. Poor Elizabeth had not yet seen Sleepy Hollow.


A/N: Okay (cracks knuckles) things I don't own. POTC, of course. There are a few Superman references here that don't belong to me. I also do not own the Muppets or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Sleepy Hollow.